listen up brothers and sisters 
come hear my desperate tale 
i speak of our friends of nature  
trapped in the dirt like a jail 
vegetables live in oppression 
served on our tables each night 
this killing of veggies is madness 
i say we take up the fight 
salads are only for murders  
coleslaw’s a fascist regime 
don’t think that they don’t have feelings  
just ‘cos a radish can’t scream...... 
I’ve heard the screams of the vegetables (scream scream scream) 
watching their skins being peeled (having their insides revealed) 
grated and steamed without mercy (burning off calories) 
how do you think it feels? (bet it hurts really bad) 
carrot juice constitutes murder (and that’s a real crime) 
greenhouses prisons for slaves (let my vegetables grow) 
time to stop all this gardening (it’s dirty as hell) 
let’s call a spade a spade (is a spade is a spade is a spade...) 
I saw a man eating celery 
so i beat him black and blue 
if he ever touches a sprout again 
I’ll bite him clean in two 
I’m a political prisoner 
trapped in a windowless cage 
‘cos i stoped the slaughter of turnips by killing five men in a rage 
i told the judge when he sentenced me  
this is my finest hour 
I’d kill those farmers again just to save one more cauliflower....... 
I’ve heard the screams of the vegetables (scream scream scream) 
watching their skins being peeled (having their insides revealed) 
grated and steamed without mercy (burning off calories) 
how do you think it feels? (bet it hurts really bad) 
carrot juice constitutes murder (and that’s a real crime) 
greenhouses prisons for slaves (let my vegetables grow) 
time to stop all this gardening (it’s dirty as hell) 
let’s call a spade a spade (is a spade is a spade is a spade...) 
How low as people do we dare to stoop 
making young broccoli bleed in the soup 
untie your beans, uncage your tomatoes 
let potted plants free 
don’t mash that potato! 
I’ve heard the screams of the vegetables (scream scream scream) 
watching their skins being peeled (fates in the stir fry are sealed) 
grated and steamed without mercy (you fat gourmet slob) 
how do you think it feels? (leave them out in the field) 
carrot juice constitutes murder (V8's genocide) 
greenhouses prisons for slaves (yes your compost’s a grave) 
time to stop all this gardening (take up macrame) 
let’s call a spade a spade (is a spade is a spade is a spade...)