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'Cause it's the cool thing to do?

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..Glamorous..

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Okay so after arguing with my little sister on the phone for over an hour, I felt like I needed opinions. I was yelling at her because she had told me that she was no longer friends with her best friend, all because all the "in" kids --her other friends-- didn't like her. When the hell did people start to not like people because they weren't as "cool" as the rest of their friends? I was so pissed off at her for telling me that. Has anyone here been guilty of not liking anyone because their other friends didn't? I can honestly say that I have never done that to anyone, and anyone expecting you to do so isn't a real friend anyway.


Edit to add-- She is not even in high school. She is in her first year of middle school.
 
..glamorous.. said:
Okay so after arguing with my little sister on the phone for over an hour, I felt like I needed opinions. I was yelling at her because she had told me that she was no longer friends with her best friend, all because all the "in" kids --her other friends-- didn't like her. When the hell did people start to not like people because they weren't as "cool" as the rest of their friends? I was so pissed off at her for telling me that. Has anyone here been guilty of not liking anyone because their other friends didn't? I can honestly say that I have never done that to anyone, and anyone expecting you to do so isn't a real friend anyway.
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Stuff like that makes me glad I was not one of the "cool kids" in school When I didn't like someone in school,it wasn't because they were cool or not

I guess some things never change over time:banghead:
 
I never really had that issue because I wasn't one of the popular kids. I was actually dogged on a lot by the popular kids, which by their own behavior, made me hate them. 🙂

I agree with Viper; It's High-School BS, it'll pass. Folks need to grow into their own personalities and develop their own opinions.
 
General Zod said:
Stuff like that makes me glad I was not one of the "cool kids" in school When I didn't like someone in school,it wasn't because they were cool or not

I guess some things never change over time:banghead:
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I must have missed something in school, everyone I went to school with for the most part got along with each other.

We certainly weren't telling each other who we could be friends with. I was pretty freaking "in" "popular" wtfever you want to call it. But if I had a friend who was friends with someone I didn't like, Why would it be my business. Ya know.
 
Believe it or not, while horribly unpopular and bullied as a tyke, in high school I was quite popular. I had a lot of people that I hung out with, including such 'popular' crowds as jocks, and had no problem walking over to a group of cheerleaders/pretty popular girls and talking to them. Granted I wasn't really close with most of them, but eh. I also had people I hung out with that weren't considered 'cool' though. No one ever really said anything about it though. I think I just carved out a nitch as the 'guy that everyone knows'.

So in conclusion, I wouldn't ditch someone just because a 'cooler' person wants me too. After all, if that person was so concerned with appearances before feelings, then they'd ditch me just as quickly if they were put in the same situation.

P.S. Sorry glamorous, I broke your combo didn't I? XD
 
I understand it is a maturity thing. I am just so frigin pissed at her. I mean she makes me feel like a fucking failure. I raised her so my mom could work and take care of us and that is NOT how I taught her to treat people.
 
I never let anyone dictate to me who I would be friends with or not. I never was someone who had a hundred (although I was never lacking in) friends, because I liked to be selective on who I called "friend". If someone else didn't like someone I was a friend to, oh well...too bad for them. That's just me thou. I've been accused of remaining loyal to friends past what may have been a good idea. Better that than abandoning someone.

Some people get really messed up from bad treatment by the "cool kids" when they are growing up. Why do you think Cy/MiG wears a paper bag on his head?
 
..glamorous.. said:
I understand it is a maturity thing. I am just so frigin pissed at her. I mean she makes me feel like a fucking failure. I raised her so my mom could work and take care of us and that is NOT how I taught her to treat people.
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I wouldn't be too hard on yourself. You obviously tried and are still trying. Be patient with her. You are raised not only by people, but by the environment you submerge yourself in. Obviously right now it's putting a great deal of pressure on her to conform. Just be there and continue giving the guidance she needs.
 
C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!

So she has time to grow out of it. Don't let it bother you, darlin'.
 
Yea it's fucked up Cindy, but not that uncommon in that age group. Just try to be the big sister you can and that's all you can do. Ask her what she'd do if it was the other way around, and the "popular" group liked her friend but not her; would she want HER best friend in the world (and maybe the only person left hanging out with her) to turn her back on her? Remind her how important one true friend is over 5 wishy washy fake friends any day. It's a food for thought thing but again, this is NOT uncommon in 6th graders.
 
That's a real shame that she's dumped a friend. Perhaps she was put under quite a bit of pressure and just looking out for herself. Don't blame yourself, from what you've said here you've got your head screwed on the right way. Give her some time she'll learn off her big sis.

I also hate it when you get groups of mates and you are either in with one or the other, why can't we all be friends.

What I'd like to know though; who decides who the popular ones are? Are they they ones that have the biggest group of people or the most loudest?

I wouldn't take no shit at school I had friends from all different 'groups' and hated it when it got a bit nasty between mates from different groups. I had to tell a few of them on several occasions to 'fuckin grow up' 🙂

I hope she see's that you are right and that you can respect her again soon.
 
..glamorous.. said:
Okay so after arguing with my little sister on the phone for over an hour, I felt like I needed opinions. I was yelling at her because she had told me that she was no longer friends with her best friend, all because all the "in" kids --her other friends-- didn't like her. When the hell did people start to not like people because they weren't as "cool" as the rest of their friends? I was so pissed off at her for telling me that. Has anyone here been guilty of not liking anyone because their other friends didn't? I can honestly say that I have never done that to anyone, and anyone expecting you to do so isn't a real friend anyway.


Edit to add-- She is not even in high school. She is in her first year of middle school.
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I can understand how frustrating it is to hear that stuff. Though you know that it's wrong and stupid to do, and maybe she thinks it too, but she's 12 (?) years old and at that age you face a lot of peer pressure to conform so you can fit in. It may not have been that way when you were her age, but it obviously it is now for her.

It can be difficult for kids to find their niche in school and there are all kinds of pressure on them to fit in, to be like everyone else. It sometimes takes awhile before they find their own strengths and beliefs and individuality.

You just gotta continue being a good sister and teach her how important friends are and why you shouldn't dislike someone just because another friend doesn't like that person. Don't think of it as a failure because she still has lots to learn from you. With a sister like you, I'm sure she'll grow up to be a great person. 😀
 
..glamorous.. said:
Okay so after arguing with my little sister on the phone for over an hour, I felt like I needed opinions. I was yelling at her because she had told me that she was no longer friends with her best friend, all because all the "in" kids --her other friends-- didn't like her. When the hell did people start to not like people because they weren't as "cool" as the rest of their friends? I was so pissed off at her for telling me that. Has anyone here been guilty of not liking anyone because their other friends didn't? I can honestly say that I have never done that to anyone, and anyone expecting you to do so isn't a real friend anyway.
Click to expand...

To me that just sounds like middle school girls. I agree that she shouldn't be so concerned with what the "cool" kids think, but asking adolscents to act maturely is like asking a zebra to change its strips. I never dealt with anything like that throughout school though so I don't know.
 
..glamorous.. said:
I understand it is a maturity thing. I am just so frigin pissed at her. I mean she makes me feel like a fucking failure. I raised her so my mom could work and take care of us and that is NOT how I taught her to treat people.
Click to expand...

You're a great big sister, but you're not her peers; kids will follow their peers everytime. I guess 6th grade is the new 9th grade and this bad behavior is happening earlier and earlier.

I hope she changes her mind because if her new friends can convince her to drop her best friend, what else can they convince her to do? Middle schoolers are getting into lots of trouble these days including violence, vandalism, and sex. I hope she sees this nonsense for what it is and that nothing serious happens down the road.
 
It's just something she's going to need to grow out of. I had a friend in middle school blow us (me and my friends) off to go be friends with "the cool kids." It sucked for like 2 years, but in high school we kind of all integrated into acquaintances, and all was well. Just give her time - this is how kids are mama! If you didn't experience it growing up, you're lucky! 🙂
 
I admit that I've been guilty of this in the past. Fortunately, I was only around 11 years old or so. I don't ever do that kind of thing anymore. As far as your sister goes, however unfortunate, I think it's a pretty common thing for kids her age, Glam. She'll grow out of it. One would hope, anyway. 😉
 
been there, done that. There was a kid who was, well... Even I'll admit he was a little weird, but, I hung out with him anyway and took him to lunch every day because he didn't have a car or anyone else to go with. He was an ok kid, except that he would tell these outlandish stories that were very unlikely to be true, and no one believed him and basically made fun of him for them... I didn't know what to think of them, so I just kind of humored him most of the time.

But yeah, I took a lot of shit for hanging out with him, and from people who I really wanted to like me, to. But, as has been said, it wouldn't have been worth having friends like that... I know how these people roll, they're all two faced. If they make fun of you when you're out of their circle, they'll do it when you're "in," too... They'll just stop doing it to your face.
 
If it really bothers you (and rightly so) you should tell her that you are disappointed as you always thought she was a much better person than that...

Perhaps it will get her thinking...

I was part of no particular group in HS...hung out mostly with the freaks, but had many friends that by today's "standard would be considered nerds or geeks...

i also had friends on the football and baseball teams and a teacher or two in the mix...

I never turned friendship away nor based it on anything other than how the person treated others...
 
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