Hi, I've actually been on this site for awhile, but have never gotten up the guts to post, so bear with me please. I broke up with my long-time boyfriend (7 years) about 6 months ago and he was the one who first introduced me to tickling as an adult in our sex life. Since then, I have been accidently or playfully tickled by friends and family and I immediately get turned on, which I try to shut down. It makes me really confused now and I worry that now I'm hard wired this way. I know that it will make for a happy boyfriend later, but now I guess I sort of feel a little weird and don't want to feel that way around my friends and family. Can anyone give me some insight or help here? Thanks in advance.
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Confusing sexual feelings with tickling
- Thread starter fairytoes
- Start date
Actually, I think there have been an uncommon rash of people tickling me to cheer me up or something. It's pretty weird actually and quite out of character for them. Maybe they think it's funny or something because they get a really big reaction out of me and I just tend to run. The only person who's ever tickled me in my family before is my dad. And he hasn't tickled me since I was 11. And also, I haven't had sex in 6 months when I use to get it almost everyday and wonder if I'm just having this reaction because I have so much pent up sexual energy.
Comfort Eagle
Level of Cherry Feather
- Joined
- Apr 21, 2003
- Messages
- 10,319
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- 63
Welcome to the fold.
i was only really introduced to tickling as a fetish a little over a year ago. just because you find it as an adult, unlike most here who knew from childhood, doesn't invalidate your experience. i thought i hadn't had any previous experience with tickling until months later someone said "truce" which was a safeword in a relationship 20 years ago!!! all the memories of me being tickled in relationships came flooding back. i didn't think anything of it before because we always just considered it a standard part of foreplay. it took a ticklephile to help me give tickling its proper due.
i'd just enjoy that you have yet another way to feel sexually aroused 😉
i'd just enjoy that you have yet another way to feel sexually aroused 😉
LD_Tickler
3rd Level Yellow Feather
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- Nov 23, 2005
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- 3,735
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Sounds like you're screwed. Either you had a latent tickle kink, or the power of association has kicked your ass.
Either way, welcome to the forum. 😀
Either way, welcome to the forum. 😀
in answer too your original question...
i believe that you are hard wired this now and i dont think you will be turning back anytime soon...
the thing is, its the tickling that turns you on, not the people themselves...
when ever a boy trys to tickle me im afraid that i may get turned on by it so i never give them a chance to do so by swinging wildly!
i hope everything picks up soon 🙂
stick around and you will makes some great friends on here... and dont be nervous to post again 🙂
i believe that you are hard wired this now and i dont think you will be turning back anytime soon...
the thing is, its the tickling that turns you on, not the people themselves...
when ever a boy trys to tickle me im afraid that i may get turned on by it so i never give them a chance to do so by swinging wildly!
i hope everything picks up soon 🙂
stick around and you will makes some great friends on here... and dont be nervous to post again 🙂
no sex in 6 months
no sex in 6 months ,..try 5 years 😡 talk about pent up sexual frustration,..
...another couple of years and i can become a priest
no sex in 6 months ,..try 5 years 😡 talk about pent up sexual frustration,.....another couple of years and i can become a priest
- Joined
- Apr 2, 2001
- Messages
- 14,285
- Points
- 48
It seems the issue that you are struggling with is the confusion of sexual vs platonic physical contact.
Every one encounters relatives and friends that kiss us or hug us. I'm sure that there are guys on the forum that can attest to 'issues' they had with their bodies responses when they were younger and were hugged by some friend of their parents.
In normal sexuality integration we learn how to divide sexual contact from platonic ones via context through experience as we grow up.
Since often fetishes are hidden from even their holders into adulthood they can escape this process. That is what seems to be happening with you. You are reading platonic interaction as sexual.
The answer? When it happens accept the fact that you got turned on (It's not your fault, it's your body/minds natural reaction to a positive stimuli) and focus on the context, and tell yourself, that this is NOT a sexual time, but a platonic one.
Over time you'll teach yourself the rules of handling the fetish. It's just a matter of practice.
Myriads
Every one encounters relatives and friends that kiss us or hug us. I'm sure that there are guys on the forum that can attest to 'issues' they had with their bodies responses when they were younger and were hugged by some friend of their parents.
In normal sexuality integration we learn how to divide sexual contact from platonic ones via context through experience as we grow up.
Since often fetishes are hidden from even their holders into adulthood they can escape this process. That is what seems to be happening with you. You are reading platonic interaction as sexual.
The answer? When it happens accept the fact that you got turned on (It's not your fault, it's your body/minds natural reaction to a positive stimuli) and focus on the context, and tell yourself, that this is NOT a sexual time, but a platonic one.
Over time you'll teach yourself the rules of handling the fetish. It's just a matter of practice.
Myriads
Thanks...that,s not overly encouraging...i,ll probably get more action walking my dog..
here fido...here boy....well, i can totally understand not wanting to get unwittingly aroused around friends and family, but i don't know what you could do about that other than trying to avoid being tickled (although i'll second Myriads advice too).
but is that the only big thing upsetting you? i mean, a 7-year relationship ending is a big deal: if getting tickled reminds you of your ex, i could see that being a really unpleasant feeling. i for one find reminders of former loved ones really painful (who doesn't?), let alone if they were combined with being awkwardly aroused.
if that's part of it, maybe at least there's a silver lining that over time that kind of unpleasantness would fade a little.
and, hey, like you said, you will definitely make someone a happy boyfriend later!
feel better, fairytoes!
but is that the only big thing upsetting you? i mean, a 7-year relationship ending is a big deal: if getting tickled reminds you of your ex, i could see that being a really unpleasant feeling. i for one find reminders of former loved ones really painful (who doesn't?), let alone if they were combined with being awkwardly aroused.
if that's part of it, maybe at least there's a silver lining that over time that kind of unpleasantness would fade a little.
and, hey, like you said, you will definitely make someone a happy boyfriend later!
feel better, fairytoes!
Morpheus72
TMF Expert
- Joined
- Oct 7, 2005
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I totally try to avoid being tickled by family members, and thankfully it doesn't happen much. It definitely creeps me out a little when it happens.
Thanks. There is some good advice here. I guess that tickling does remind me of my ex and then I start to long for him. I feel like a limb has been severed or something at this point, but I think I do realize that something has been awakened in me and there is no turning back. That's why I turned here. He was/is still a member of this site I think, so I found it through him, and I wasn't convinced it was really me for awhile, so it did take me awhile to post. Thanks again.
