Conversation With Friend Last Night-Thoughts Appreciated

[Mitchell]

I know I said I wasnt going to log in for a few days. (I just couldnt stay away, lol) Seriously, I had a conversation with my friend Adam last night that I wanted to post, and would appreciate feedback on. I'm by no means angry with him, as he always means well, and was talking about his own fetishes too. Yet, it made me.. uneasy.

As I think I've posted before, Adam has a fetish for adult females making the "raspberry noise". I've asked him if he really has a tounge fetish, fetish for the raspberry noise, or both, and he told me he isnt sure.

Adam knows about my fetishes for tickling, and female feet. Last night, he said to me: "Mitch, I accept the fact that I might one day meet a girl who would refuse to indulge me with my tounge fetish, and you might have to accept that you might meet a girl who would refuse to let you tickle her, or play with her feet".

Without naming specific members of course, I told Adam that I've known people in the TMF, who have had their relationships broken up over tickling, or feet. Further, I told him that while I could understand if a girl who wasnt into tickling, didnt want me to tickle her all the time, I would also hope that she would be accomadating enough to allow me to tickle her, and play with her feet at least sometimes. He then asked. "What would you do if you met someone with all the common vanilla interests, who just hated to have her feet played with.. or be tickled... what would you do then?".

My feeling, as I've posted before, is this: While I could understand if a very ticklish girl didnt want to be tickled all the time, "Feet", is just a body part, like breasts, ass, vagina, etc. If I met someone who denied me her feet, that person would be denying me a fetish I've had since I was five years old, literally. I dont think I could.. or would.. be happy with someone like that long term, as I would consider them unaccomadating.. or selfish, especially since I know, that, with my open minded personality, I would do my best to accomadate them if they had a fetish for something that they wanted me to do. (Oh, and to be clear, those who know my fetish for girls standing barefoot on ladders. I would not make an issue about a girl standing barefoot on a ladder, if she was afraid of heights).

Thoughts on this: Is he right, that I should be prepared to accept a girl completely denying me my fetishes, especially, the body part/foot fetish one, which may not feel uncomfortable to a vanilla, like being tickled?

Feedback would be appreciated. I'll try to log in at least once a day to check and reply.

Thanks.

Mitch

 

[Backstep]

Having some common interests is good in a relationship, but it's not the only thing. Having good chemistry personality-wise and being physically attracted to someone are important parts of a relationship too.

If you find a woman who likes the same shows, shares the same political stances, and even has a similar profession, that's great. But if she's a negative, somewhat cynical person and you're upbeat and optimistic, you'll run into a conflict.

So it is with your sexuality. And make no mistake, someone might be totally into things that you wouldn't ever want to try as well.

 

[elmsyable]

No, I really don't think you should accept it.

If that woman/man loves you than she/he will find a way to give you what you want. So, for that one girl refusing, there is another that will accept and spoil you, or at least try it out.

 

[GQguy]

I do think that as I get older I become a better man. When I was younger it was harder to get my women to engage in my fetishes. I realize now that it was the manner in which I framed them and myself that truly produces results. When a woman realizes that you're a quality man putting her feet in your lap becomes very trivial to the things that you bring to her life. If you're a great man she'll see it as the least that she could do to please you. So instead of focusing on what she can do for you....focus on what you can do for her. When you realize that she cannot/will not take care of you...then take your talents to another woman that will.

So the deeper question is....what do women want? What do women need. How do you give it to her? Answer those questions and you'll prove your buddy dead wrong.

GQ

 

[Rusty Shackleford]

I do think that as I get older I become a better man. When I was younger it was harder to get my women to engage in my fetishes. I realize now that it was the manner in which I framed them and myself that truly produces results. When a woman realizes that you're a quality man putting her feet in your lap becomes very trivial to the things that you bring to her life. If you're a great man she'll see it as the least that she could do to please you. So instead of focusing on what she can do for you....focus on what you can do for her. When you realize that she cannot/will not take care of you...then take your talents to another woman that will.

So the deeper question is....what do women want? What do women need. How do you give it to her? Answer those questions and you'll prove your buddy dead wrong.

GQ

You're not going to get a better answer than this, methinks. Good job.

 

[Leo tickles]

Depending on how important your fetishes are to you, dating a girl who will not indulge them is ill advised.

At the same time, dating a girl who will indulge your fetishes but hate it is also ill advised.

Dating a girl who does not have your fetishes but enjoys them with you is a great thing, the best being dating a girl into what you're into.

That has been my experience.

 

[Bothersome]

I would never, ever restrict myself on dating options based on something so inconsequential. My ex-girlfriend absolutely hated tickling. I was okay with that.

Rather than focus on the fact that said girl doesn't want you to touch her feet, focus on the fact that she's with you, and not somebody else. Far too many people take that simple little fact for granted, and end up regretting it.

 

[Leo tickles]

I would never, ever restrict myself on dating options based on something so inconsequential. My ex-girlfriend absolutely hated tickling. I was okay with that.

Rather than focus on the fact that said girl doesn't want you to touch her feet, focus on the fact that she's with you, and not somebody else. Far too many people take that simple little fact for granted, and end up regretting it.

Far too many people appreciate somebody being with them and ignore the fact they don't want them. Then again I'm known for being picky and tossing people I don't want in my life away with ease.

 

[Knox The Hatter]

I do think that as I get older I become a better man. When I was younger it was harder to get my women to engage in my fetishes. I realize now that it was the manner in which I framed them and myself that truly produces results. When a woman realizes that you're a quality man putting her feet in your lap becomes very trivial to the things that you bring to her life. If you're a great man she'll see it as the least that she could do to please you. So instead of focusing on what she can do for you....focus on what you can do for her. When you realize that she cannot/will not take care of you...then take your talents to another woman that will.

So the deeper question is....what do women want? What do women need. How do you give it to her? Answer those questions and you'll prove your buddy dead wrong.

GQ

Wisdom.

 

[Bothersome]

Far too many people appreciate somebody being with them and ignore the fact they don't want them. Then again I'm known for being picky and tossing people I don't want in my life away with ease.

Well, if you don't want somebody because they don't share your fetish... well, I suppose that's your choice. I wouldn't force myself to be with someone that I didn't want to some degree, but I also wouldn't base my 'wanting them' around a fetish. I would base it around things that I would have to deal with outside the bedroom.
I agree that fetishes should be a factor, but I don't think they should be the deciding factor.

Also...

I do think that as I get older I become a better man. When I was younger it was harder to get my women to engage in my fetishes. I realize now that it was the manner in which I framed them and myself that truly produces results. When a woman realizes that you're a quality man putting her feet in your lap becomes very trivial to the things that you bring to her life. If you're a great man she'll see it as the least that she could do to please you. So instead of focusing on what she can do for you....focus on what you can do for her. When you realize that she cannot/will not take care of you...then take your talents to another woman that will.

So the deeper question is....what do women want? What do women need. How do you give it to her? Answer those questions and you'll prove your buddy dead wrong.

GQ

That.

 

[Leo tickles]

I do what GQ basically explained in his post. I used to do it blindly for the sake of "her", but now I want somebody to do that, for me, and me for them in return.

It's all about finding the balance between doormat and stable. And once that balance is found, if the result is anything other than happiness, somebody is doing something wrong.

Are my fetishes the deciding factor? No. Would I be less happy without them? Probably.

 

[Sunriseticklee]

I do think that as I get older I become a better man. When I was younger it was harder to get my women to engage in my fetishes. I realize now that it was the manner in which I framed them and myself that truly produces results. When a woman realizes that you're a quality man putting her feet in your lap becomes very trivial to the things that you bring to her life. If you're a great man she'll see it as the least that she could do to please you. So instead of focusing on what she can do for you....focus on what you can do for her. When you realize that she cannot/will not take care of you...then take your talents to another woman that will.

So the deeper question is....what do women want? What do women need. How do you give it to her? Answer those questions and you'll prove your buddy dead wrong.

GQ

I have to echo everyone else.... This is the best answer.

I don't know if you, or if anyone else can find someone who is 100% compatible with them. There were fetishes and things that Alexwarfield was into that I totally did not care for and vice versa. The thing is, he was such an awesome guy that I was either willing to at least be understanding, if not willing to try to indulge what he enjoyed, even if it wasn't something that I dug to begin with. (This is ME now.... I can only speak for myself.)

Having been together for almost 10 years now, (WOW!) I don't regret, but celebrate what we share. I've experimented with things that he enjoys, as he does the same for me. And well- some of the kinks that I have now are a direct result of things he was really into- He presented them in a way that was non-threatening, interesting, sexy- and now I want them ALMOST as much as I want/ love tickling.

To be honest, I think it was straight up LUCK that I met and married someone from TMF. I never thought it would happen. I was good if the guy I dated just endulged my fetish- (which most did) .... I never knew I would marry someone who actually shares it and can't get enough of it.

They are out there.... BUT we have to do more than just sit at a computer if we really want to find that special one and only! 😀



Even know, we are venturing out to munches and events that have absolutely nothing to do with tickling (sometimes.... LOL- I think they bring it up now for us. LOL), and I have learned so much.

When people hear the word compromise, it is almost as if they think it is a bad word, and it isn't. Communication, give and take, true unselfishness- If both people are willing, the relationship doesn't become a one-sided thing where one person has all and the other has nothing.

You deserve to be with someone who will make you absolutely happy and vice versa. And if that means giving up somethings or getting into somethings- that's what a relationship is all about.

 

[LD_Tickler]

Your friend is wrong. It's up to you to decide that what you need in a relationship. If no tickling or feet or whatever is a dealbreaker for you, that's fine. Everyone has standards, and there's nothing wrong with that.