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Cool things about being a man (of course must have been written by a man!)

JPie1

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Apr 19, 2001
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Cool things about being a man:

1. Your ass is never a factor in a job interview.
2. Your orgasms are real. Always.
3. Your last name stays put.
4. The garage is all yours.
5. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
6. You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid.
7. Car mechanics tell you the truth.
8. You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut.
9. Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.
10. Same work . more pay.
11. Wrinkles add character.
12. You don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments.
13. Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100.
14. If you retain water, it's in a canteen.
15. People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.
16. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
17. One mood, ALL the damn time.
18. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds.
19. A five-day vacation requires only 1 suitcase.
20. You can open all your own jars.
21. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
22. Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack.
23. If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.
24. You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.
25. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
26. You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without
ever thinking ''He must be mad at me."
27. No maxi-pads.
28. If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you
just might become lifelong friends.
29. You are not expected to know the names of more than five
colours.
30. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut
on a bolt.
31. You are unable to see wrinkles in clothes
32. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
33. Your belly usually hides your big hips.
34. One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons
35. You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.
36. Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on
December 24th, in minutes.
37. The world is your urinal.

Ten Things men know for sure about women:
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10. They have breasts. (oh yeah, some have nails baby!)
 
Guys got nails too....

Seee.........

nails.jpg
 
I believe there's a similar list out there that mentions how beer is superior to women, Jpie.
i.e.: "A beer won't mind if you look at another beer."

Drew😉

ps: I dig the new image, Ray😀
 
JPie~! I love that list. It goes well with the one I have on my puter about why it's cool to be a woman!
Joby

Why It's Better To Be A Woman

We can get rid of leg hair without pretending that we do a lot of cycling/swimming, or any other sport that would require aerodynamic legs.

We absently hum tunes from musicals without anyone being suspect of our sexuality.

When we buy a vibrator it is glamorous. When men buy a blow up doll it's sad.

We can wear platforms - which is why there is no such thing as a 'short woman's complex'

We don't have to get our strength up between sessions, ...and it's much easier for us to get laid in the first place.

We can get off with teenagers without being called dirty old perverts.

We never ejaculate prematurely.

We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.

Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin and gorgeous - they look like complete dicks in ours.

We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.

It's cool to be a daddy's girl. It's sad to be a mommy's boy.

We can cry and get off speeding fines.

The thrill of surprising people by being good at darts..and pool.....and football.

We live longer, so we can be cantankerous old biddies wearing inappropriate clothes and shouting at strangers..... men die earlier so we get to cash in on the life insurance.

We know that games are fun, but don't believe there's a direct correlation between the size of our scores and the size of our genitals.

Taxis stop for us.

We can eat a lollypop and not worry about how it looks.

We get drunk quicker and cheaper.

We've never fancied a cartoon character or the central figure in a computer game.

It does not enhance our social standing to understand the inner workings of a 'ruck'(or any other rugby thing). But we look INCREDIBLY cool if we do.


And finally...We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
 
very good JoBelle.


And Venray darling just who is that supposed to be in the pic???
 
JPie1 said:
very good JoBelle.


And Venray darling just who is that supposed to be in the pic???



I think that we BOTH know the answer to that one sweety...:devil:
 
Naw!

There aint' nothin' wrong with being a Mommas Boy!! lol 😉
 
24. You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.

Whoever came up with this list doesn't know MY husband. lol

Cute thread.. have heard a lot of them before, but I guess it can always be added to.. and Jobelle.. very funny
 
Yes, JPIEs reactions were very similar to someone else we know ...

LOL
 
😛 back atcha honey.. Just think, she hasn't yet been exposed to pockets.. 😉
 
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