Dating, OK Cupid, and Tickling

[travtick]

Hey all,

I hope this finds everyone well. I did a search for "cupid" and didn't see anything, and apologize if people have written about this before, but thought it was worth mentioning. This is gender/sexuality neutral.

Having decided to dip my toe back in the dating pool about a month ago, on a friend's recommendation I went with OK Cupid. They give you a chance to answer a ton of questions. If you and the other person answer the same question you can see the other person's response. I was pretty psyched to see the following question:

"Someone you're very attracted to admits they have a tickling fetish. Would you let them tickle you?" The answers are:

* Yes! That turns me on/could turn me on.
* Maybe, I think I’d enjoy if limits are respected.
* Only to please them - I don’t think I’d like it.
* No way!

This is about as excellent as a filter as it gets on a mainstream site about someone's general opinion toward the idea. I'm also pleased to report that the most common response I saw was "Maybe, I think I'd enjoy if limits are respected." I understand that those results are skewed positive because the person bothered to answer the question, but it's still pretty awesome. For the person I met, it actually came up as a discussion topic the first time we chatted. Talk about a nice ice breaker! And yes, I did a (very) little tickling first time hanging out and it was all good.

So to my TMF pals looking for a way to meeting someone outside of the board (not that you'd need to, but if you wanted to... 🙂 ), give OK Cupid a whirl.

Wishing everyone an awesome 2014!
Steve

 

[ialwayseatsalmo]

I've seen this too and am happy to report I've also seen most girls respond with at least a maybe. I think we're all a bit afraid that most women will find our fetish weird, but for most of the girls I've dated, it's intrigued them quite a bit. My ex even came on here to ask a few questions about restraint ideas and stuff.

 

[Comfort Eagle]

I've actually met girls on OKCupid for tickling before. Shit's not that creepy, guys...

 

[moose]

i think alotta people might b afraid of being judged a werido if they pick the first choice so they just pick maybe

 

[porcelaindoll2]

Okay I tired out okay-cupid and when I saw the part on the profile where it said to put something along the lines of the most secret thing you're willing to admit I said fuck it I'm letting everyone know now I am into BDSM and I am a switch that leans more sub(Plus I linked my FetLife). My attitude was it would rid me of the whole omg I love this vanilla guy or girl, but I kept my sexual desires a secret what do I do bullshit. I wanted it completely out in the open from the very start. Then the vanillas that did look at my profile could decide if they wanted to deal with it. Well not too surprisingly I mostly got messages from a ton of horn dogs because most vanilla guys equate woman into BDSM=total slut! The one guy I did decide to go on a date with actually was on FetLife(I didn't know, he rarely used it, and I wanted to try for a vanilla). Well he was into bestiality and was hoping I'd let his dog mount me(I found this out on our first date.)! I went back to his place and he said he really wanted to tickle me. Well it had been awhile since I played, so I went along. He handcuffed me to his bed and tickled me some, but then he started stripping me naked. Before I knew it he was naked and was starting to fuck me. I was so scared and confused. I should have screamed stop, but instead I asked him if he had a condom. He did and put one on for me. I can't really call it rape because I didn't really try to stop it, but I didn't orgasm and the sex sucked. Maybe okay-cupid is better for guys because women don't usually try to force themselves on men. I left okay-cupid, because that was the worst date/experience I ever had. I actually decided to stick with here and FetLife for my dates. I've actually never played with or dated a vanilla.

 

[meangry]

Okay I tired out okay-cupid and when I saw the part on the profile where it said to put something along the lines of the most secret thing you're willing to admit I said fuck it I'm letting everyone know now I am into BDSM and I am a switch that leans more sub(Plus I linked my FetLife). My attitude was it would rid me of the whole omg I love this vanilla guy or girl, but I kept my sexual desires a secret what do I do bullshit. I wanted it completely out in the open from the very start. Then the vanillas that did look at my profile could decide if they wanted to deal with it. Well not too surprisingly I mostly got messages from a ton of horn dogs because most vanilla guys equate woman into BDSM=total slut! The one guy I did decide to go on a date with actually was on FetLife(I didn't know, he rarely used it, and I wanted to try for a vanilla). Well he was into bestiality and was hoping I'd let his dog mount me(I found this out on our first date.)! I went back to his place and he said he really wanted to tickle me. Well it had been awhile since I played, so I went along. He handcuffed me to his bed and tickled me some, but then he started stripping me naked. Before I knew it he was naked and was starting to fuck me. I was so scared and confused. I should have screamed stop, but instead I asked him if he had a condom. He did and put one on for me. I can't really call it rape because I didn't really try to stop it, but I didn't orgasm and the sex sucked. Maybe okay-cupid is better for guys because women don't usually try to force themselves on men. I left okay-cupid, because that was the worst date/experience I ever had. I actually decided to stick with here and FetLife for my dates. I've actually never played with or dated a vanilla.

Advertising BDSMness out in the open is different than advertising a "might be okay with tickling as long as my limits are respected" deal. It's going to get a different response.

 

[porcelaindoll2]

Advertising BDSMness out in the open is different than advertising a "might be okay with tickling as long as my limits are respected" deal. It's going to get a different response.

I can see what you're saying, but I still feel a woman saying she is into tickling would get a different response then a guy doing it. If I had even hinted I was the slightest bit kinky I still feel I would've had a ton of horn dogs messaging me. I still feel guys have it easier in the sense that women don't usually try to force themselves on men. Having women think you're a weirdo or creep I feel is better then having a ton of guys assuming you're an easy lay.

 

[TJDoom]

That does sound like a really awful experience and I'm sorry to hear it. Sadly, stories like that have come from craiglist, Fetlife, some dating sites. There's a degree of risk and it's usually best to err on the side of caution. Work your way up to any playtime. At least, that's what seems to be safest. Take a friend for date 2 and see what they think (see if they show again and get a better look at how they carry themselves).

I can't imagine trying to entertain a kink as a woman while dating online, but it seems to work out for a lot of people in different places despite some people out there having boundary issues.

 

[meangry]

I can see what you're saying, but I still feel a woman saying she is into tickling would get a different response then a guy doing it. If I had even hinted I was the slightest bit kinky I still feel I would've had a ton of horn dogs messaging me. I still feel guys have it easier in the sense that women don't usually try to force themselves on men. Having women think you're a weirdo or creep I feel is better then having a ton of guys assuming you're an easy lay.

I think women have to put up with that depending on the kind of skirt they wear at the club, let alone what they put on a dating site.

Obviously, it's going to be much easier for a guy because, as a dude, I know what goes through my mind. Practically any cute girl with a sunny disposition is a "would bang". Only issue I ever have is that if you feel a set way, if you find someone attractive as a dude, you get a lot further if you remember the other person isn't just a hole you stick your dick in, but is an actual person, which sounds crazy, but a little respect and small talk can get anyone a very long way.

And as an aside, the second he'd of brought up the dog, this;

 

[duderino84]

I've tried using any answered question as an ice breaker. They either don't remember, don't care, or don't think anyone would read it and it turned out they did it out of boredom.

I met one girl for tickling but it was of the strangest circumstances ever and she was totally random. Black (natural/fro hair), 35, She was a gospel spoken word artist, she liked tickling men, she was supposedly one of those celibate til marriage types (why she wanted to be tickled then, HMMM), and described her sensitivity with "my entire body is just one big tickle button, I can hardly shower without tickling myself."

In the end tho, I got dumped over asking if she would ever visit me sometime since I made a pretty long trip (an hour or so each way) and she didn't have transportation but mentioned getting it. Something about "any man who knew the value of my love would never think to mention anything like that". And supposedly everything we had discussed so in depth and intimately about she "compromised and tolerated" in the same dumping message, so I have no damn clue what happened. Blocked me immediately after as well so I couldn't even try to talk.

Ooohhh the special ones........

 

[gigglemakr]

Of the (vanilla?) dating sites I'v tried so far (Match; P.O.F.; and OK Cupid), OKC has been by far the best.

Match seems to be too conservative/vanilla. P.O.F seems to be unworkable. OKC, however, works very well with the tests you (and she) can take, and the ability to compare answers to questions on any number of topics including sex. Plus it's free.

Personals on TMF seem largely to be hit or miss......mostly miss. Not sure why. Wish it were not the case.

 

[porcelaindoll2]

I've had more luck on the TMF personals and FetLife then I ever did off of OKC. Of course I am a woman and we have it so much easier when it comes to finding dates/play partners. I surprisingly found more decent gentlemen off of kink sites as well.

 

[AlexEmpire]

I haven't really begun to use the internet for finding dates and the like, so I don't really have a lot of experience to draw from. But to me it just seems like it would be better finding interested parties on kink sites. A little counter intuitive, but true all the same. Those that are already using kink sites are actually in the lifestyle, they are themselves sharing part of their natural world. On vanilla sites they are just guys trying to do fun stuff with "sluts." Because in this day and age people still see kink as another word for "slutty."

Of course, like I said, I don't really have the experience to draw from. That's just what it seems like it might be.

 

[Antarion]

I haven't really begun to use the internet for finding dates and the like, so I don't really have a lot of experience to draw from. But to me it just seems like it would be better finding interested parties on kink sites. A little counter intuitive, but true all the same. Those that are already using kink sites are actually in the lifestyle, they are themselves sharing part of their natural world. On vanilla sites they are just guys trying to do fun stuff with "sluts." Because in this day and age people still see kink as another word for "slutty."

Of course, like I said, I don't really have the experience to draw from. That's just what it seems like it might be.

I'm not sure what you mean by "In the lifestyle." I have a FetLife account, but I've never had anything sexual done in regards to tickling. Chalk it up because i'm 18 I guess.

 

[Shivoni]

Actually, I would have to put in my two cents for OKCupid. In all honesty, it is a really good site and free at that. I've actually met people on there for tickling encounters, dates, etc. Many (almost every single person I conversed with) has remained good friends with me till this day. Could just be luck, but still, for a free site and what you can do with it, I highly recommend it. Believe it or not, but I made it too 99% of the personality quizzies done, that the actual profile people add into (like over 3000 questions, when I was one; could have grown lager now). If you haven't been there, take a look.

 

[Sunriseticklee]

Never used OKCupid- But I have been ALWAYS upfront about my love for tickling and my requirement to WAIT to have sex (before I was married) in the internet dating world. Met a guy off a BlackPlanet- He tickled me, but wanted to have sex. Didn't work out. Met someone off of LavaLife. Ewww! Same deal as the other guy. He was just a bum though. Yuck!

Met a guy through Match.com I think. He was sweet and lots of fun, but we only went out once. I locked my keys in the car so it ended up being an all night date. SMH.... I think I was the lame one on that meet up. I probably could have called him, but I think I felt stupid.

I met someone else, but for the life of me.... I don't remember the site. Maybe it was through my Yahoo Profile/ Personals. (sidebar- That's how I met Terorizer and Bagelfather before meeting both of them at my first gathering.) Anyway- That guy I met was into BDSM, and not much into tickling, but I totally got him into it. He was pretty cool. We had a REALLY good time for a year or two, off and on. It wasn't anything serious, just fun. That was back in my bad girl days. That was also when my mother found out I was into tickling a freaked out. lol Eventually, I was just done. I was kinda tired of sneaking around, and I knew there was no future for us.

By far, the BEST experiences I've had are with the people I've met from TMF. I am still friends with some of the tkphiles I met like... 13 years ago (WOW), and I actually found a true soul mate and partner here as well.

It's been pretty satisfying and awesome. BUT it's always cool to have friends who are into it and nearby. Still hoping someday that we will find other couples to hang with (dinner, movies, events... just fun times). So hard to find. Til then, I'm kinda teetering between, not really pushing to meet other people to wanting to start events in the area. It's just a lot of work!

Keep at it. Good luck guys!

 

[Sunriseticklee]

Apparently I set up a profile in 2008. LOL

 

[Umar]

I've found the woman who I'm dating on POF (Plenty of Fish). We started talking and she ask me what I was good at. And I say foot massages. She stated that she loved foot massages. So I said, "I hope you're not ticklish because I don't want to get kick in the face. Ans she said only a little. We had a few dates before it got serious. And the first she invited me to her home, she removed her shoe and sock and put her feet in my lap. So I started to massage with a little bit of tickling in it. She was only slightly ticklish. But she said that she loved to be tickled everywhere. She is most ticklish in the armpits. And once she gets r es ally relax her feet goes from slightly ticklish to extremely ticklish. I've even made her cum just by tickling her. We been dating for 2 months and I wjsh I've met her earlier in life. But I'm blessed to have her now. It hard to find an African American woman who like this fetish. When have sex she even request for me to do a fickle (fuck and tickle). The first time I found out we made love for 5 hours straight. No kidding. One day soon I'm going to introduce her to this site.

 

[Ticklerguy4u]

Hey all,

I hope this finds everyone well. I did a search for "cupid" and didn't see anything, and apologize if people have written about this before, but thought it was worth mentioning. This is gender/sexuality neutral.

Having decided to dip my toe back in the dating pool about a month ago, on a friend's recommendation I went with OK Cupid. They give you a chance to answer a ton of questions. If you and the other person answer the same question you can see the other person's response. I was pretty psyched to see the following question:

"Someone you're very attracted to admits they have a tickling fetish. Would you let them tickle you?" The answers are:

* Yes! That turns me on/could turn me on.
* Maybe, I think I’d enjoy if limits are respected.
* Only to please them - I don’t think I’d like it.
* No way!

This is about as excellent as a filter as it gets on a mainstream site about someone's general opinion toward the idea. I'm also pleased to report that the most common response I saw was "Maybe, I think I'd enjoy if limits are respected." I understand that those results are skewed positive because the person bothered to answer the question, but it's still pretty awesome. For the person I met, it actually came up as a discussion topic the first time we chatted. Talk about a nice ice breaker! And yes, I did a (very) little tickling first time hanging out and it was all good.

So to my TMF pals looking for a way to meeting someone outside of the board (not that you'd need to, but if you wanted to... 🙂 ), give OK Cupid a whirl.

Wishing everyone an awesome 2014!
Steve

the only downside to this is I am a 100 percent ler. I do the tickling.

 

[TripleHGame]

Maybe it's the girls in NYC, but I have no luck with this. If I see a girl on OKC is turned on by tickling, I usually message them. I try not to talk just tickling and usually I'm interested in getting to know them as a whole, but I don't get a response back. It's kinda frustrating.

 

[duderino84]

the only downside to this is I am a 100 percent ler. I do the tickling.

Hey, one girl I met was in to tickling guys yet she let me tickle her plenty lol. I would let her get in hers, and I would double up on my giving (especially since she was insanely ticklish). In short, I say don't worry.

Maybe it's the girls in NYC, but I have no luck with this. If I see a girl on OKC is turned on by tickling, I usually message them. I try not to talk just tickling and usually I'm interested in getting to know them as a whole, but I don't get a response back. It's kinda frustrating.

It's a woman's world, buddy. Some are pretty picky about what they want, but I generally try to hit all the highlights of their profile whether or not I really care to try to relate at first, and THEN I drop the tickling bomb. Commitment is a big thing ... They will be more open to tickling (whether or not it is on their profile) if they feel invested in your conversation.

 

[JJB]

Maybe it's the girls in NYC, but I have no luck with this. If I see a girl on OKC is turned on by tickling, I usually message them. I try not to talk just tickling and usually I'm interested in getting to know them as a whole, but I don't get a response back. It's kinda frustrating.

How much is sending your initial message due to the fact they're turned on by tickling? If you disliked everything else about a girl but she was turned on by tickling, would you still message her? Or, would you be interested in "getting to know them as a whole" if the tickling tidbit wasn't mentioned? Balancing a fetish out can be difficult for some.

As for lack of response, it's all about the pictures. If you don't have any, good luck! While there are some people that say "it's not about the looks", surveys show especially in online dating that it's primarily about attraction (even if initial or slight), especially since you aren't meeting this person in real life. Maybe your "match %" is >90% and you have tons in common by the profile, but if there's no attraction, there's little hope.

 

[JJB]

It's a woman's world, buddy. Some are pretty picky about what they want, but I generally try to hit all the highlights of their profile whether or not I really care to try to relate at first, and THEN I drop the tickling bomb. Commitment is a big thing ... They will be more open to tickling (whether or not it is on their profile) if they feel invested in your conversation.

It's helpful seeing how often they respond to messages by hovering over that message button and seeing if they "respond often" or "respond very selectively". Sometimes it doesn't matter how great of an intro you write if they're only looking for one thing in particular (like some on here might be with tickling).

The "tickling bomb" makes it sound intimidating, especially if you're just pushing through the other highlights of their profile to get to that point.

Like I mentioned above, if they were "into" tickling but everything else about them in their profile happened to be things you completely disliked, would you still message them? Would it be fair to both parties if somebody was only into it for the tickling and pretending to be into the same things in order to increase the chances of (tickling) success? Relationships can be challenging enough to make them work out.

 

[duderino84]

It's helpful seeing how often they respond to messages by hovering over that message button and seeing if they "respond often" or "respond very selectively". Sometimes it doesn't matter how great of an intro you write if they're only looking for one thing in particular (like some on here might be with tickling).

The "tickling bomb" makes it sound intimidating, especially if you're just pushing through the other highlights of their profile to get to that point.

Like I mentioned above, if they were "into" tickling but everything else about them in their profile happened to be things you completely disliked, would you still message them? Would it be fair to both parties if somebody was only into it for the tickling and pretending to be into the same things in order to increase the chances of (tickling) success? Relationships can be challenging enough to make them work out.

Naturally no. Of course I wouldn't message if I had nothing in common. Looking for girls with any variation on the word tickling in her profile gets pointless after a while. It's what girls don't out on their profiles I'm into. And ya, tickling bomb is intimidating.

 

[JJB]

Naturally no. Of course I wouldn't message if I had nothing in common. Looking for girls with any variation on the word tickling in her profile gets pointless after a while. It's what girls don't out on their profiles I'm into. And ya, tickling bomb is intimidating.

I gotcha. It just makes it seem like a mental hurdle or something intimidating on your part even with describing it like a "tickling bomb", but I understand where that comes about as a fetish.

I've always learned to mix that into conversation where it doesn't become completely obvious that it's a fetish, at least to learn if there's something there or if it's worth it to move forward, more than just finding out "how ticklish" somebody is or a most ticklish spot.

Instead of a "bomb" I think of it as a stealth operation in the middle of the night where nobody knows what happened at all.