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Deperately in need of some good solid female advice and counceling

Mimi

1st Level Black Feather
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Oct 12, 2001
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I'm not sure that I am completely comfortable opening up about something quite so private on a public forum like this, but I have come to trust the advice, support, and views of many of the members of the TMF. Enough that I would like to take a gamble and open this topic for discussion with you all, for my own possible comfort and benefit, as well as possibly offer it as a warning to other ladies here who may find themselves in similar situations.

I was dealt a heavy blow today from the OB/GYN who delivered my daughter 8 years ago. I had gone to see him to discuss birth control options and discuss the possibility of having a tubaligation done. While we were perusing through all the options available to me, he informed me that due to my uterine tumors, my variety of choices would be somewhat limited.

Uterine tumors.

Quite a shock for me, as I was NEVER informed that I had tumors. The GYN was every bit as shocked as I was that I had never been told. He stated that they found numerous tumors in my uterus when they performed the caesarian section to deliver my daughter. Since he was only brought in to handle my delivery due to the fact it became too complicated for my family doctor to handle, he had assumed my family doctor would discuss their discovery with me upon my follow-up post natal appointments with him. I never had any follow-up appointments with the GYN that would have given him the opportunity to inform me. It was my family doctor's responsibility to give me the news.

He never did. And not only did he never tell me about the tumors, he never did any follow-up on them at all. No biopsy, no monitoring their growth, nothing. And to add insult to injury, over the past 12 years I have gone to see him numerous times with symptoms consisting of abnormal bleeding, abdominal pain, irregular menstrual cycles, severe menstrual cramping and bleeding, pain during intercourse, and 3 , count them - 3 - miscarriages. And every single time he told me everything was normal, there was nothing wrong with me that would cause such symptoms, and I should just treat them as needed. And for the last 8 years he has KNOWN I had uterine tumors and not once did he find it necessary to inform me of that fact.

I am so hurt, frightened, and overwhelmed by this feeling of betrayal right now that I don't know where to turn or what to do. I've been seeing that doctor for 25 years....since I was 5 years old....and he has treated every ail and illness of mine all the while. Why on earth would he withhold information like that from me, especially with all the complications and pain I was enduring, and the risk factors involved with NOT following up and monitoring them?

All I know at this point is that I am never seeing that Doctor again. I am in good hands now with the GYN, and he will be performing a biopsy on them, and monitoring their growth.

Now onto the purpose of this thread.

Are there any ladies here who have dealt with uterine tumors, that may be able to advise me of what I am up against and what I might be able to expect? I'm terrified of where things may go from here. I have a strong family history of reproductive cancers on both sides of my family (my Mother had cervical cancer about 10 years ago, my Aunt and Grandmother on my Mothers side have both had complete hysterectomies due to numerous, large uterine tumors, and my Aunt on my Fathers side had a complete hysterectomy due to uterine cancer), and I have no doubt that raises my risks for similar conditions greatly. I'd appreciate any experiences, advice, or comments you could offer.

And the second purpose....For you ladies out there who may be experiencing similar symptoms to what I've been dealing with - PLEASE get them checked out, asap. Do not assume it is merely typical womanly problems, brought on by your regular cycles. And if you are seen, or have been seen, and been told that you're normal and there's nothing wrong, GET A SECOND OPINION. Find the best damn OB/GYN in your area and do not rest until they can tell you without a doubt that there is not a damn thing to worry about.

Thanks for listening to me ramble, folks. Hopefully I'll get some of the answers I desperately need to rest my mind that all will be okay. Cause right now, I'm feeling pretty helpless.

Mimi
 
ouch

I'd do exactly what you are doing. Since that doctor wouldn't check on the irregularities, he must not be a very good doctor. A good doctor would have made arrangements for a biopsy or something.

Good luck 😀
 
Mimi said:
Are there any ladies here who have dealt with uterine tumors, that may be able to advise me of what I am up against and what I might be able to expect?

I have, Mimi. Check your PM from me and call me, or I can call you if you prefer.

Take a deep breath and try to relax. You have a strong network of support here - we'll help you get through this together.
 
The only advice I could give would to be switch doctors, and, if you wanted to take it that far, see about a malpractice suite. Good luck with everything!
 
Mimi,

I'm going to echo what Rio has told you. I'll pm you with my new email address and I hope I hear back from you. The things you do now are going to have a major impact on the rest of your life. You'll soon find that the next 6 months of your life are going to go very quickly and you'll likely have to make some major life decisions....ones you can't take back.

I have a great website that I will PM to you, and loads of information I'd be happy to share from the last few years.

I'm on the uphill side of a multi-years battle that started out with a miscarriage and the knowledge that I had uterine tumors, among other things. It's a long unpleasant road that shouldn't be sugarcoated, but in the end, it can be perfectly fine s'long as you're well informed and confident in your physician.

I'm also going to echo what Mimi said. If you have something happening to your body that doesn't seem right, GET THEE TO A DOCTOR IMMEDIATELY! We pay too much attention to the health of our cell phones, our computers, and our cars, and yet when our bodies break, we don't check it out! What might seem minor today could very well be life altering tomorrow. Don't go through something "unpleasant" because you're too lazy to get to the doctor for a few hours!

Mimi, you'll be in my prayers, darlin'...and hope to hear from you soon.

Joby

:grouphug:
 
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Mimi - You are in my prayers.

I think you should confront your doctor (the one you've seen since you were five), about why he didn't speak to you of the tumors.

At this point you only have one this other doctor's take on the situation. That guy doesn't know you as well as the doctor you've seen throughout your life.

I suggest you ckeck with a third doctor. Never assume the worst is correct. If the worst is correct and the first doctor is guilty of malpractice, I'd see a lawyer.
 
I'm not a woman (not even in the chatroom😀), so I won't try to offer advice about the tumors themselves, but I would certainly recommend obtaining whatever medical records possible from your pregnancy and delivery from BOTH doctors. And then I will echo sole seeker's sentiments by suggesting that you seek legal counsel immediately. I know, I know, the insurance companies that practically rule America will have you believe that medical malpractice lawsuits are getting out of hand, but some lawsuits are not frivilous.
 
Thank you to everyone who had replied to this thread so far and offered your support, concern, and advice. It means a lot to me. 🙂

And a special thanks to those of you who contacted me via PM and offered your unyielding friendship, experiences, support, and wealth of information to me. You know who you are, and I'm extremely grateful to you all.

I feel a little bit better today after having all night to dwell on this. I'm not quite as surprised to discover I HAVE uterine tumors (given my families history, it was almost to be expected), as I am to discover my doctor KNEW about them for 8 years and never told me. Instead, he tried making me believe that all my symptoms were 'normal' and all in my head. It's almost comforting now to at least have a diagnosis and understand WHY I've been experiencing the problems I have. I feel I can deal with this all much better now.

I have hopes that it will all be uphill from here. I am now in the hands of a damn good, competent doctor who will see to it that this condition gets dealt with the best way possible. And maybe eventually, I can look forward to a future free from all this pain and discomfort. It was just the initial shock of it all that turned my world upside down.

My life is pretty damn spiffy right now, so I can not complain too much about this recent set back. Gotta take the bad with the good, right? It's can't be roses all the time, or else we'll take the things that go right for granted, and can never truly appreciate them for what they're worth.

With the love and support of my dear, loving Lazarus, my family, my friends, and my support group online and here at the TMF, I have no doubts I will make it through this just fine.

Thanks everyone.

Mimi 🙂
 
I forgot to address the issue of Malpractice in my last post, so I'll do that now quick.

That was the first thing that came to my mind, and the mind of my family upon hearing the news yesterday. And while the possibility of seeking a malpractice case against my former doctor is still a consideration of mine, it is not something I am really gung-ho about at this time.

One reason is because I've got a helluva long road ahead of me, health wise. Lord only knows what procedures and possible surgeries I am going to have to endure in the upcoming months, and my first and biggest concern is obviously getting back on track to a new healthy me. I think the added stress and worry over a lawsuit would be the last thing I would need right now.

Another reason is because I have no PROOF my former doctor never told me. Obviously he didn't, for I would clearly remember something like that and would never have sought medical attention for all my symptoms over the last 8 years if I had known. But it would take nothing for him to make a small scribble in one of my files from around the time I delivered my daughter, stating he did indeed inform me. Then boom, case totally shot.

I also think the only way a lawsuit against him would hold any water at all will be if I have suffered irreversible damage from my lack of knowledge or treatment of this condition over the past 8 years. That I will not know until my new doctor follows up on this all, and sees where my condition currently stands. Only time will tell.

One thing I DO plan on doing though, is spreading the news of my experience to everyone in this area who will listen. Tell everyone and anyone of his negligence and betrayal, and get the word out about his incompetence as a doctor. With any luck, over time, he will lose a good number of his patients when they discover he can not be trusted, and that will hit him where it really hurts....his reputation and his pocketbook.

Mimi
 
Hi Mimster! I've been there too. I had a 7 month long "Monthly visitor" and changed doctors because my OB/GYN did nothing for me. When I saw the new doctor his first question was... "What did your other doctor tell you about these tumors?" I replied... "What tumors?" having gone a bit pale with major concern.

You've probably gotten all kinds of great advise from the ladies who sent you a PM on this but if you need me... I'm here as well. There are many options available to you and medical science continues to improve the options.

Do get a new doctor ASAP! But I'd also talk to your current doctor and ask him why he never told you. In fact, I'd almost say you register a complaint about him but that's all up to you. I'd definitely tell him you're leaving and why.

Don't fret Love. It will all be just fine!

Jan
 
Good luck, Mimi...you know I'm in your corner. This experience will ultimately benefit you, in that you will never look reverantly on doctors again; that you will verify everything they tell you. I'm terribly sorry that it all happened in this fashion.
Mrs. Knox can't get a straight answer about anything from doctors about her difficulties in conceiving...one source says I'm the most potent human being in the Western Hemisphere, another says that I have a problem with my sperm. I don't know who to believe anymore...
maybe they're all full of shit.
Bountiful hugs...
😉
 
I'm not a female responder, but want to toss in my 7 cents anyway.
Seems like in the past 20 years or so medicine has been transformed from "heal thy brethren" and "do no harm" to "cover thy butt".

A troubling trend.

Mimi, it will work out well and you're in my prayers.
 
Mimi, I dont know you very well, but you are in my thoughts and I hope everything goes good, because good people like you dont deserve these boulders in their path.
 
mimi...I can offer you no words of great wisdom concerning the medical condition itself ...However, I can relate as far as feeling betrayed by someone you trusted so implicitly that has withheld relevant information from you.

The effects of this have a devastating impact upon a persons life. And in your case, unfortunately this type of betrayal transcends the typical effects by adding an increased health factor. I feel so deeply for what you must be going through....I'm so sorry for the moments of shock that must have rocked your sense of being when you learned of this deception.

I have to tell you also that I personally feel your view on not initiating a lawsuit is a very intelligent one. I understand the anger involved in any wrongdoing we may encounter and the initial shock/pain/anger almost invites us to want revenge. As you stated so perfectly (of course I will paraphrase because I'm a lazybones...lol) it is so much more important to your life to devote your energy on life itself than wasting a precious moment on exacting revenge.

Here are a couple psalms I hope bring you some comfort.

For what it is worth, please know that my thoughts and prayers are with you. You seem to be a strong intelligent woman and with a loving husband by your side I have great hope that you will be better than okay🙂Be well🙂~tm


psalm 41:9 Even my close friend, in whom I trusted, Who ate my bread, Has lifted up his heel against me.


psalm 31:24 Be strong, and let your heart take courage, All you who hope in the LORD.
 
Meems, Lord knows we've had our differences in the past; but I am truly sorry to hear about your condition. You've always seeemed to me to be a lady of great passion and heart, and I have every confidence that you'll pull through this with flying colors; be well and God Bless. :Kiss2:
 
Mimi,

Reading your thread brought tears to my eyes. I do know what you're going through. A few years ago, after much probing from my mother, I talked to my new family doctor(we had to change because the old one got a job promotion) about my irregular and abnormal periods and the pain "down there" that i was feeling. He sent me for x-rays and it was revealed that I had an ovarian cyst, a small one about the size of a pinhead, on my right ovary. I praise God that I changed doctors because my old one never even tried to do any tests on me, not even when I complained about the excessive bleeding and everything. Here, I worried for months that I might have PCOS or God knows what else and it was only a tiny cyst. He put me on birth control to help reduce the size of the cyst. Since then, my periods are getting better and evening out. They are shorter now and less messy. I can actually leave the house!!!😀

Anyhow, I wish you the best and you are on my prayer list that all will work out. If anyone can beat this, you can!

Your sister in Christ,

crydun
 
Hey Mimster...long time no chat.
Beaner here 🙂

Just letting you know my prayers are with you.

Regarding the Malpractice issue...you should at least talk to a lawyer about it.
8 years is a long time to cover something up and it sounds like you have good ground to stand on.

I can understand your relief to know there was something "wrong" with you, however again I must restate, I would chat with a lawyer, because now is the time to act, while it is fresh in your mind, and while it might add some stress now, the "results" might make the added stress "worth" it.

It is rather disturbing to hear these MANY missed tumors!!!

When my wife went through some birth problems it was traced to a high carb, low protein diet...the fertility doctor simply heard what she ate and within 10 minutes said oh, I bet it is your diet...she went on a LOW carb, not no carb diet...2 months later my wife was pregnant!! Her regular doctor simply never put the two together.
Always get a second opinion!

Anyway I hope everything works out for you Mimi!
God Bless :twohugs: 🙂
 
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