Ann, thank you. You present a very intelligent and rational point of view.
As for judging others, while I agree with your statement to a point, I honestly try not to judge others, except in two circumstances. If. A. Their actions or words affect me directly. (I.E. My father, etc) or B. If they themselves have judged me, for no other reason than to be cruel, without knowing all the facts.
I'm one who believes that cruelty and judging is a bad thing to do, because, we are all human, and, there is a force greater than any of us,(God) who can judge us, and deliver harsh lessons at times.
Two cases in point in my own life. My best friend's mother: About the most miserable human being anyone would ever want to know. I havent talked to the bitch in 12 years, and I never will. During my family's darkest days in the early 1990s, she was rooting for my mom and I to get buried in the divorce. My father's business partner had made sure that my father made small investments for my mom and me in the 1980s. During all the troubles in the 1990s, when the adversary we were all having trouble with was claiming "fraud". My best friend's mother kept saying to me "Maybe the client should take your investment. After all, your father gave it to you". Yes, he and his partner gave it to me, but it wasn't fraudulently transferred, moron, you dont know all the facts. Turns out, the judge in the case must have felt the same way, because, he threw all the client's claims out of court, and I got to keep the investment. My best friend's mother also thought that divorce was funny, and kept judging me for not talking to my dad. Well, guess what: In 2005, her husband dumped her after 41 years. Also, she has a daughter, and six grandchildren, who are one step from estranged from her. Now, years later, my best friend's father, who has completely changed, will now admit to my friend: "Your mother and I shouldnt have judged Mitch for being estranged from his dad, and other things. We didnt know the facts. Your mother is a very judgemental individual, and I see this now". He has changed his point of view, and, while I can now sit across the table from him, I will never see my best friend's mother again.
Case number two: My uncle. I used to be hyperactive (Slightly) when I was little, and I guess I got on my uncle's nerves. One time, when I was ten, I was in his care for one weekend, and he threatened to throw me out of a moving car. My uncle promoted my estrangement from my dad, and my parents divorce, which is why I havent talked to the son of a bitch in 22 years. Four years ago, his son, whom I've never met, contacted me. Wanting to be the bigger person, and not wanting to judge his son just because I despise my uncle, I talked to the young man, who at the time was 18. One of the first things my uncle's son said to me was " Your mother influenced you not to see my parents". Click. Thank you. Ingore. Moron. I was 18 when I told your parents to go fuck themselves, and you weren't even born. You don't know the facts. Nothing "influenced" me but their behavior. After I talked to my uncle's son, I didnt see my dad until we got back together last summer. One of the first things I said to my dad is "Tell Ira (My uncle) that his son is an idiot for telling a man in his 30s that he was "influenced". No one influenced me not to talk to Ira other than Ira himself, with his crazed treatment of me". My dad said to me "Steven (My cousin) has a lot of emotional problems.". While I'm sorry about that, all my cousin did by judging me that I was influenced, was do himself out of a potential relationship with his first cousin. Sad, but I wont deal with someone like that.
Both those cases prove my point. My belief. Be humble in this life, and don't judge unless someone's actions directly affect you, because, no one knows what their tomorrow is. Maybe a force greater than anyone who judges, (God, of course) will judge that person themselves.
Mitch
One edit to this post, and an apology from me. I was reading through the posts, and I realize that when Senator Ted Kennedy died, I made a thread questioning the absence of President Bush 41 at Kennedy's funeral. venray called me out about that, saying I shouldn't judge Mr Bush for not showing, because I didnt know the reasons. ray is absolutely right, and I apologize to anyone my post offended. I didn't know the reasons, and it was wrong for me to judge Mr Bush.
