Yup, lighter tickle would be more to my liking as well to ladies I'm not that intimate with (and I'm mostly the 'ler being male). If I really want to get hard on her, it'd better be this very intimate contact. Yet, it normally starts with very soft and gentle tickling nonetheless. It's very intimate to see one suffer before you, and such sessions should be the exception rather than the rule. 😛 :evil:
I guess the gender really doesn't matter, especially when tickling is put in an erotic perspective. Every 'lee is different from one another anyway.
In the case of romantic ticklers who love each other, or those who are REALLY horny vicious sadistic tickling can be fun too. This virtue must be kept rare as it is, it'll make it all the better an experience. I can imagine that when you get to tickle the same person several times, one session you'll want changes and make it worse than otherwise.
The concept of BDSM tickling with orgasm deprivation really appeals to me, but mostly when it's kept as a rare session she not likely forgets but which doesn't occur too often for her to fear it. Also, the pride of her having withstood it, makes up for it to like it herself too. You can only do such things to her, when you REALLY know her inside-out.