Do you ever get scared when life seems too perfect?

[njjen3953]

My life, right now, is the best it has been in a very long time. Yet, I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. I am terrified to enjoy it because I fear it will not last.

Is this normal? Do any of you go through this?

 

[BigBrownEyes]

Yes, that happens to me. That's like when you're having a really good day, and you're overly happy for no good reason. Then you run into a miserable bastard who tries real hard to bring you down.

But yes, when things are going to too perfect, I have even come out said "hey, everything has been going so smoothly, I wonder what horrible thing is about to happen." But it's really only a joke.

Maybe we get that way because when you're up, we fear there's only one way to go and that's back down. Or, maybe it's just paranoia because all people are flawed, and have experienced low points.

Anyway, I can definitely relate and it sounds perfectly normal.

Glad to hear that everything is going so well! I know for a fact that happiness CAN last. My grandparents met when they were kids and loved the pants off each other their entire lives. So the other shoe isn't necessarily going to drop.

 

[JoBelle]

Woman!

Stop doing that.

There are NO guarantees in life. No one can promise you that ANYTHING is going to happen...however, what you visualize in life, is usually what you get. One should not ruin a perfectly wonderful time worrying. The past doesn't dictate the future.

My philosophy in the last two years has become very simple. If you worry, and nothing bad happens, you've wasted precious time. If you worry and something bad does happen, you've suffered twice.

Stop focusing on the ghost that is "the past" and enjoy the present.

By the way...
There is a book you may want to read. I can't think of the title off the top of my head, but I'll post it when I remember it. It basically tells you that when you realize life isn't "supposed" to be good and easy that it becomes second nature to enjoy the good parts without dissecting them. For some reason, we humans seem to think that anytime something bad happens, it was a mistake. You come to realize that the bad isn't really "BAD" but rather just part of the completed whole and without it, the good would be moot. I promise you....that slight change in philosophy will do wonders for your outlook.

 

[sole seeker]

Hmm... it's awfully quiet out there... too quiet!

Enjoy it while it lasts. 😉

 

[AffectionateDan]

Woman!

Stop doing that.

Stop focusing on the ghost that is "the past" and enjoy the present.

Yeah! What *she* said! Seriously, though, while I completely 😉 know what you mean, you've gotta stop thinking too much and just enjoy your happiness. People who over-analyze stuff enjoy life less, I find, than those of us who say "Damn the torpedoes! Full speed ahead!" Deal with the wrinkles in life as they come, don't worry about what they MIGHT be. That can create it's OWN set of problems. Now, shush, and go have fun with your new beau. 😛

 

[qjakal]

Realism...

I'm with Jen...yin and yang cannot be denied. If I'm happy someone else must be proportionately miserable. Eventually the wheel will turn, the tide will go out...pick whatever metaphor ya like...lol.

Q the suspicious

 

[red indian]

Well look at it this way.............

.....England lifted the Webb Ellis trophy a couple of weeks back and are now the reigning WORLD CHAMPIONS of rugby football union. So I am not waiting for "the other shoe to drop" I watched Johnny Wilkinsons right foot drop the pill through the sticks to win the game! neither am I "terrified to enjoy it" there is nothing anyone can do to stop it lasting till the nenxt world cup........."SWING LOE SWEET CHARIOT, COMING FOR TO CARRY ME HOME, SWING LOW SWEET CHARIOT, COMING FOR TO CARRY ME HOME!!......ENGERLAND!!!!!"


p.s. do let me know if I am starting to get on anyones tits wont you?

 

[natural tickler]

red, I am so sick about hearing about rugby!!

ok, Back to the thread at hand. Jen, bad things happen to people when you think about it too much. If you don't think it, it wont happen. Trust me, I know. Live for life today, and enjoy it to the fullest, because tomorrow's not promised to you

 

[Ticklemmmeeeeee]

Jenn....I have to wonder if everyone doesn't worry to some degree about things that are going well ending or being taken away.
I do however, feel that as anything in life, there are those who experience this anxiety juuust a wee bit more frequently or intensely than others...I know because I am one of those people🙂

I know that from my own experience, understanding what has transpired in my life to cause me to feel that the worst thing in attaining something good is the fear of it one day being gone helps me to control it.(I am however a terribly annoying specimen upon which to rely...lol)

I try and understand the events that have occurred in my life that have planted a seed of doubt in my sub conscious mind that causes me to have excessive fears such as these.
And now when I start thinking "Wow, this would be great if it didn't suck so much when it finally ends"...lol, I remind myself that all we have is right now, so I can spend this moment worrying about the next and never truly enjoy this moment atall or I can enjoy it until it does end..

Because let's face it, as good as anything ever is, who would really want it to stay exactly the same? Then we would be starting threads like...."Hey, my life has been way too good for too long and I hate it because I am bored outta my mind...does anyone else feel this way?...lol (just trying to make u smile🙂

Incidentally, for what it's worth...I'm really happy for ya that things are so good🙂🙂

 

[His Divine Shadow]

It can only get worse, Jen, it can only get worse.

 

[JoBelle]

Re: Realism...

I'm with Jen...yin and yang cannot be denied. If I'm happy someone else must be proportionately miserable. Eventually the wheel will turn, the tide will go out...pick whatever metaphor ya like...lol.

Q the suspicious

Yeah...WHATever.🙄

 

[njjen3953]

Now, shush, and go have fun with your new beau. 😛

Don't worry about that. I am fully enjoying this wonderful man.

 

[Ayla ny]

enjoy the tide while it’s in (Q!). stop and enjoy the summit even though it was SO freaking hard to get there. laugh at the fort of blankets, couch cushions and coffee table all over your living room (did that one 20 minutes ago lol). life is good. otherwise, what’s the point?

“what if” is often as good as it is bad.

love ya, Jen. be happy!

 

[sugarmouse]

My philosophy in the last two years has become very simple. If you worry, and nothing bad happens, you've wasted precious time. If you worry and something bad does happen, you've suffered twice.

i liek that one!!!!! 🙂i get it aswell..if everytnings going good i often find myself actively looking for somethign to worry about..guess im a born worrier!! but i tell myself there is no point...life s there to be enjoyed. 😛

 

[Knox The Hatter]

Uh, maybe she feels this way because things have gone wrong for her before so many times in the past? Experience rears its ugly head?
She's perfectly justfied in her trepidations. I know I'd love for her to just relax and enjoy herself and let everything play out, and she's trying to. There are few people I know more entitled than Jen to the enjoyment so many other people take for granted. I understand her worries, though. I've been in her spot many, many times.
I remember one time, when I was ten, I'd had a great day with my friends after school, saw something great on TV, and I went to bed with a very good feeling that night, something that did not occur very often. After I went to sleep, my mom, coming home late from something, woke me up and beat the shit out of me for not doing some household chore.
Yeah. I understand.

 

[qjakal]

Re: Re: Realism...

Yeah...WHATever.🙄

This passes for humor down south...lol? C'mon, I know you can unload a bit better than THAT Jujubee..........

I just happen to believe that things balance out in this imperfectly designed universe, and that Ms Jen is correct in maintaining a watchful attitude so as to head off the incoming wave of retaliatory weirdness!

End of story and that's w-h-a-t-e-v-e-r..

😉 Q

 

[JoBelle]

Feh!

Q, you thought I was going for humor?

I can see the point of view that you believe things "balance out." I do not tend to agree with you though.

I don't think the universe is tit for tat. I think it's a matter of perspective. I may have broken my leg when I fell down the steps on the way to the car. BUT...had I made it to the car, I would have been right in line to be smashed by a train ten minutes later. Broken leg, sure. It was a good thing though. 😉

I don't think past experience makes it ok to live in fear that everytime something feels good that it's doomed. Rather, I face life with the accepted knowledge that "good" and "bad" things happen. Doesn't mean they follow like a body and shadow though. I can get ten "good things" and only get one "bad thing."

Besides, worrying about it takes some of the joy out of the moment.

I wonder why it's so much easier for folks to completely feel fear and pain, yet when good things happen, they walk around waiting for them to end and never fully appreciate them.

I just don't seem to understand it. But then again. I have defeated death twice in recent history....so I'm diggin' just breathin'! 😀

Joby

 

[qjakal]

Universal Justice...

You crazy optimist....life will get ya for not being wary eternally! Your view is too chaotic and random for my taste. I want ORDER! That's my perspective and don't forget that in your example the train that now missed you may derail on that foreign object someone (intials r-e-d) lodged on the tracks just to see if it would "flatten" in an interesting manner.

Be alert! Expect the worst and appreciate the rest!

Q

 

[venray]

Embrace the good times and endure and work through the bad and in the long run the good will triumph...works for me anyway.....😀

 

[JoBelle]

Q~!

Probably not the response you were expecting, but you just made me giggle out loud and gave me one more thing to feel good about. 😛

NEENER!

Joby

 

[lite]

I remember one time, when I was ten, I'd had a great day with my friends after school, saw something great on TV, and I went to bed with a very good feeling that night, something that did not occur very often. After I went to sleep, my mom, coming home late from something, woke me up and beat the shit out of me for not doing some household chore.
Yeah. I understand.

*gives Knox a HUGE hug*

Been there, done that, Knox, only it was my dad instead. Left the house, running, in our pajamas in the middle of the night to avoid beatings...mom wearing scarves beautifully tied around her neck, always receiving compliments on her fashion sense, never telling anyone that the scarf was there to cover the bruises where my dad tried to strangle her...then me going out into the world thinking I would finally be "safe" only to have horrible things (which I won't go into here) happen...never understanding how someone can claim to love me and then turn around and hurt me...and now, I'm with a man who loves me even though I can be a HUGE pain in the ass! 🙂

Yes, I believe in yin and yang...the symbol is tattooed on my ankle...and yes, jen, I've wondered when the other shoe is going to drop. Frankly, I think that the bad, as bad as it was, has made it that much easier for me to appreciate the good...guess that's the yin-yang part. 😉

Enjoy yourself, Jen; relish in the happiness and savor the present. You deserve it.

P.S. Anyone who thinks the idea of a "virtual" hug is stupid can kiss my a**! 😛

 

[njjen3953]

Virtual hugs to both Knox and lite. I will give them to you in person when I see you.

 

[venray]

http://www.ticklingforum.com/showthread.php?threadid=37899

 

[njjen3953]

Thank you, Ray.

That was very nice.

Something for us all to keep in mind.