Do you respect limits? Do you check on your lee, are affectionate and do you practice aftercare?

[Doriansenigma]

I’ve noticed by reading a lot of posts throughout the years that there is a strong emphasis on sadistic tickling…but as a ler do you make sure to check on your lee to make sure they are okay? Do you cuddle after or spoil them in some way to make them feel safe? Do you practice aftercare? I hope to hear from both men and women on this one.

 

[WickedTouch]

I’ve noticed by reading a lot of posts throughout the years that there is a strong emphasis on sadistic tickling…but as a ler do you make sure to check on your lee to make sure they are okay? Do you cuddle after or spoil them in some way to make them feel safe? Do you practice aftercare? I hope to hear from both men and women on this one.

Yes, definitely. In a sadistic or intense session I do monitor and check in with the lee. It's one of the reasons why I like to get to know someone a bit first and understand how they process things, understand their limits, and divide fantasy from reality. Aftercare is a thing specific to each individual, and I try to give them what they personally have conveyed they want or need. Regarding limits and boundaries, anyone who does not respect those, at best, is exercising negligence and poor judgement, and at worst is being outright abusive. Sadism is on a different personality dimension than selfishness and regard for others. I can be sadistic in that I can get pleasure from others' (consensual) suffering, but I am simultaneously caring and considerate.

 

[TickleMantis]

I’ve spent the last 25~ years writing sadistic, merciless and often times utterly depraved tickling fantasies -but it is only ever fantasy. In reality, I’d never wish the heinous acts that occur in those stories on an actual living person.

I tickle my partner, and have tickled those before her, but I’ve done my best to watch and listen for the cues that it’s nearing the line. I’d like to think I’ve never gone over those limits, though admittedly I expect I have once or twice, albeit unintentionally. Not an excuse, just an explanation/observation.

Point being, I’ve always drawn a hardline between the things I fantasize about and the things I’ll actually do. In the real world, I care about the people I’m spending that time with and don’t want them feeling anything less than safe and cared for.

 

[milagros317]

Point being, I’ve always drawn a hardline between the things I fantasize about and the things I’ll actually do.

 

[duderino84]

I tickle torture -- but I've never tied anyone down, and any partner that I've been with has experienced my tickling voluntarily, with a smile by the end. So while I don't feel like I have limits, I doubt I'm pressing on theirs.

I think affection/ aftercare they're pretty satisfied, but they know when it's game on.

 

[Doriansenigma]

I’ve spent the last 25~ years writing sadistic, merciless and often times utterly depraved tickling fantasies -but it is only ever fantasy. In reality, I’d never wish the heinous acts that occur in those stories on an actual living person.

I tickle my partner, and have tickled those before her, but I’ve done my best to watch and listen for the cues that it’s nearing the line. I’d like to think I’ve never gone over those limits, though admittedly I expect I have once or twice, albeit unintentionally. Not an excuse, just an explanation/observation.

Point being, I’ve always drawn a hardline between the things I fantasize about and the things I’ll actually do. In the real world, I care about the people I’m spending that time with and don’t want them feeling anything less than safe and cared for.

I have some non-con fantasies too but being able to tell fantasy from reallity is important, I’m super attentive toward my wife when I tickle her, because in spite of the nature of my fetish Im not looking to cause genuine distress.

 

[natscott6282]

never even use to think of limits but once I learnt about them I stopped tickle torturing

 

[Soles_Scream]

I’ve noticed by reading a lot of posts throughout the years that there is a strong emphasis on sadistic tickling…but as a ler do you make sure to check on your lee to make sure they are okay? Do you cuddle after or spoil them in some way to make them feel safe? Do you practice aftercare? I hope to hear from both men and women on this one.

My store is built around safe consensual tickle play. However, with models I do not practice physical aftercare as one might normally do in a kinkster scenario. I keep things playful, but every now and then a model will end up in subspace. In those situations, I give them something to drink, snacks, or whatever they request afterwards which is generally some form of nourishment. I create distance between myself and them in those instances other than giving them things they might ask for.

I've noticed that distance seems to cause models to snap out of it faster.

 

[Miss_Gigglish]

I’ve spent the last 25~ years writing sadistic, merciless and often times utterly depraved tickling fantasies -but it is only ever fantasy. In reality, I’d never wish the heinous acts that occur in those stories on an actual living person.

I tickle my partner, and have tickled those before her, but I’ve done my best to watch and listen for the cues that it’s nearing the line. I’d like to think I’ve never gone over those limits, though admittedly I expect I have once or twice, albeit unintentionally. Not an excuse, just an explanation/observation.

Point being, I’ve always drawn a hardline between the things I fantasize about and the things I’ll actually do. In the real world, I care about the people I’m spending that time with and don’t want them feeling anything less than safe and cared for.

I have read some of your stories I think, they were insane 😀

But I also like that you know what is fantasy and how tickling needs to be done in reality. In fantasy, a ticklee would have no problems taking how much ever sadistic tickling is dished out. But in reality, a hell lot of panic overcomes the lee and one cannot remain in that phase for too long.

 

[Miss_Gigglish]

I tickle torture -- but I've never tied anyone down, and any partner that I've been with has experienced my tickling voluntarily, with a smile by the end. So while I don't feel like I have limits, I doubt I'm pressing on theirs.

I think affection/ aftercare they're pretty satisfied, but they know when it's game on.

This is so good! As long as the ticklee leaves with a smile, they are going to come back for more. I like this approach 🙂

 

[wolfman40]

I always like to meet play partners beforehand for a coffee for obvious safety reasons! And to establish, do's and dont's, likes and dislikes.

I'm a bit of a feeder, so I always bring water and a ton of snacks along.

I'm quite tactile, so I enjoy things like cuddles and hugs after play, back strokes, and even just stroking hands.

My favourite thing, if there is that connection there, is grabbing a drink and fries afterwards, or if it at event, just hanging at the bar with friends.

Another important thing is checking in on the next day, are they ok, feeling droppy?

It's the little things..

 

[duderino84]

My store is built around safe consensual tickle play. However, with models I do not practice physical aftercare as one might normally do in a kinkster scenario. I keep things playful, but every now and then a model will end up in subspace. In those situations, I give them something to drink, snacks, or whatever they request afterwards which is generally some form of nourishment. I create distance between myself and them in those instances other than giving them things they might ask for.

I've noticed that distance seems to cause models to snap out of it faster.

So you think I should pull out a bag of cookies when I hear "you tickle me all the time!"? 😆

 

[duderino84]

This is so good! As long as the ticklee leaves with a smile, they are going to come back for more. I like this approach 🙂

You'd think it would be an easy deal for those women complaining about "being lonely" or "need to find a BF" but it's never this straightforward 🤷‍♂️

 

[TickleMantis]

I have read some of your stories I think, they were insane 😀

But I also like that you know what is fantasy and how tickling needs to be done in reality. In fantasy, a ticklee would have no problems taking how much ever sadistic tickling is dished out. But in reality, a hell lot of panic overcomes the lee and one cannot remain in that phase for too long.

Absolutely, the way a person reacts in a fictional story VS the way a person would most likely react in real life to the same situation is vastly different.

In fiction the person being tickled can laugh for as long and as hard as the author likes. Their fear, anger and any other emotions can be ‘overridden’ by their impossible levels of ticklishness.

In reality, most people are going to shutdown in an extreme situation (being kidnapped, for example), or get extremely upset. The sensation of being tickled may still be there, but they’re more likely to yell or be understandably very uncomfortable rather than laugh.

There’s also the very real, lasting trauma a person would almost certainly suffer if they were subjected to many of the more outlandish scenarios in fictional tickling stories. Much like the way fights in movies are seldom ever like violence in real life, I think as long as we can draw a clear distinction between the reality of tickling and the fantasy of it, we can enjoy both to the fullest potential.

 

[SoleMates]

My store is built around safe consensual tickle play. However, with models I do not practice physical aftercare as one might normally do in a kinkster scenario. I keep things playful, but every now and then a model will end up in subspace. In those situations, I give them something to drink, snacks, or whatever they request afterwards which is generally some form of nourishment. I create distance between myself and them in those instances other than giving them things they might ask for.

I've noticed that distance seems to cause models to snap out of it faster.

Agreed. Most of the models I work with tend to 'shake it off' pretty quickly. A few moments of catching their breath and they're putting their clothes back on. It's kind of important to let them know that you're willing to provide whatever they need (water, whatever - always keep it on hand) but you have to toe the line and make sure you don't come off as creepy by wanting to be overly touchy/cuddly if the model doesn't ask for it.

That said, I've also worked with a few amateurs - and while most of them do the same, occasionally one does rocket off into space, as it were, and just wordlessly cuddle up to you after the fact or whatever. Heavy on the 'whatever'. Use your imagination.

Thinking back, most of the people I've played with in a non-shoot context have never requested aftercare, either; and on the rare occasion it was desired, there was usually a partner on hand to take the reins (usually at a gathering or whatever). It really does vary from context to context. Just be prepared to provide whatever they ask, even if it's nothing. That's the best you can do.

 

[luvgirlsfeet]

Yes, it’s extremely important to respect limits and boundaries otherwise it’s considered abuse

 

[SirTristran]

Absolutely 1000% on all counts, as my refs with verify. All limits and expectations discussed well in advance and also on the day.

My thinking is that, I want to be invited back for round 2, or earn reputation with other potential lees. If im anything but a white knight, there is no hope of that.

As for aftercare, I'm basically a 16 stone radiator to cuddle. Hairstrokes, footrubs or anything else included if requested.

Sat cuddling for hours post sessions before.

 

[Sunriseticklee]

I'm BIG on aftercare, consent, respecting limits... ALL of it regardless of the type of session I am doing.

It is especially important when you are engaging in intense sessions. However, clear boundaries, great communication, check-ins, reintegrating consent, and aftercare is for EVERYONE involved in the session and not just for the ticklees.

That being said, I really like giving aftercare, especially to lers. I believe providing snacks and drinks to recharge is bare minimum. (Fun to ask them about their favorites to eat, though) I love to cuddle and give massages too if that is what is preferred. I just like making play partners feel appreciated and warm.

Now.... I feel like many on this thread are responding in regards to models after a paid gig. Sometimes things are the same. However, often times when you are dealing with someone who isn't a model, things could be different. Building connections first and reinforcing them afterwards always help when having a session.

Finally, I do want to echo that respecting boundaries is non-negotiable or it's sexual abuse considering that this is a fetish for many.

 

[Soles_Scream]

I'm BIG on aftercare, consent, respecting limits... ALL of it regardless of the type of session I am doing.

It is especially important when you are engaging in intense sessions. However, clear boundaries, great communication, check-ins, reintegrating consent, and aftercare is for EVERYONE involved in the session and not just for the ticklees.

That being said, I really like giving aftercare, especially to lers. I believe providing snacks and drinks to recharge is bare minimum. (Fun to ask them about their favorites to eat, though) I love to cuddle and give massages too if that is what is preferred. I just like making play partners feel appreciated and warm.

Now.... I feel like many on this thread are responding in regards to models after a paid gig. Sometimes things are the same. However, often times when you are dealing with someone who isn't a model, things could be different. Building connections first and reinforcing them afterwards always help when having a session.

Finally, I do want to echo that respecting boundaries is non-negotiable or it's sexual abuse considering that this is a fetish for many.

I'm curious, what aftercare do lers generally need in your experience?

 

[Sunriseticklee]

Although I am a ler-leaning switch, I cannot begin to tell you what Lers need. I can only say what I like to provide and what my play partners have enjoyed receiving from me as you have already quoted. ✌🏾