Do *you* think the forum is split?

[Deleted member 66627]

In my personal opinion, I feel that the way the forum is always spoken as being "split" is by the folks who feel that the one's that don't feel that way are a part of some clique or 'higher standard'.

I understand the idea everyone has to be 'unique', but just because a lot of us share a similar opinion, doesn't make us some cult or clique. Right?

Is it always preached as being split by those folks, because they would rather carry a different opinion so they can maintain some ideal of being 'unique' from the others?

 

[TMF Jeff]

I don't think we're split, in the sense of being divided down the middle of two opposing camps.

I do think we represent hundreds of different groups, with a lot of overlap.

 

[Excess]

Right now, I'm just gonna copy/pasta this from another thread. I think it said something that really puts into perspective some of what you speak of. Props to Uncle Bill for this.

Over the last year, the younger generation has clearly taken over this forum. While I agree that they`ve injected new life into the place, it has come with a price. Many long time middle aged members have left or rarely post because of the pissing matches and attack dog behaviour that goes on. One of the most popular females in the history of the TMF no longer posts for that very reason. I just exchanged emails with her over the weekend, and she says she feels like she no longer fits in. I may be wrong, but I really believe we`ve seen the last of her and thats a damn shame. She lit up this place. I find it odd that Crystal is still getting the snot kicked out of her by members in threads. She has matured so much over the last few months. Its been a pleasure to watch, and I wish some of you would follow her example.

 

[nostradamas]

Maybe you can...

re-phrase to the question for the sake of clarity?

 

[Knot Amewzed]

Right now, I'm just gonna copy/pasta this from another thread. I think it said something that really puts into perspective some of what you speak of. Props to Uncle Bill for this.

Good grief.

 

[BostonTickling]

I think its all comes down to the amount of effort each person individually puts into being sociable. I think you get back whatever you put in. Certain People act all butt hurt when they see other people having fun. Feeling left out I suppose is a normal feeling, but nothing is stopping anyone from making the effort to join in and interact with others. There doesn't have to be division. That's just my two cents 🙂

 

[Deleted member 66627]

re-phrase to the question for the sake of clarity?

I don't really think it need's a rephrase. But if you tell me where you're confused, I'll do my best to help you out.

 

[Knot Amewzed]

I think its all comes down to the amount of effort each person individually puts into being sociable. I think you get back whatever you put in. Certain People act all butt hurt when they see other people having fun. Feeling left out I suppose is a normal feeling, but nothing is stopping anyone from making the effort to join in and interact with others. There doesn't have to be division. That's just my two cents 🙂

Personally, your two cents are worth a million. Great point.

This forum is split into two groups, the active and the lurking.

 

[Carsomyr]

If the forum is split, then I haven't noticed it yet. Sure, some people post some pretty stupid shit, sometimes because they can't tell when people are joking and sometimes because they take themselves way too seriously. I don't think that counts though, because there are people like that everywhere, not just on TMF.

As long as you behave, it's absolutely impossible not to get along with everyone around here. Seriously.

 

[Knot Amewzed]

I don't really think it need's a rephrase. But if you tell me where you're confused, I'll do my best to help you out.

Nostradamus was looking at this philisophically. You might have to explain your op to him though the alignment of our galaxy.

 

[BostonTickling]

Personally, your two cents are worth a million. Great point.

Thank you kind sir 🙂

 

[Mephistopheles]

I must admit that the opening post is a bit strangely phrased but I get the meaning of the sentence.

There's different groups of people here who feel connected. For instance the silly stuffers (with loads of inside humor and such which I don't get because I don't read that forum) for instance. These groups are more likely to read and respond to posts made by people from their group because it is more relevant to their interest than something a complete stranger says.

Which is completely normal forum behaviour. Ofcourse there are people who dislike eachother but as far as I can see this does not lead to alot of misery. The community has changed alot in recent years (I've been absent for a long time because I lacked an internet connection) and this change might alienate some who were very happy with the way it was. But for me, I couldn't care less. I'm not involved enough in the community to be a part of any group at all and so I happily sail alone across the seas of the internet.

 

[slacker2114]

I don't believe there's a split inasmuch as there's a perception of a split. For some reason that I've never understood a lot of people need to fit things into neat little categories: veterans/newbs, older/younger, active/lurker, etc. etc. And with that perception, it brings a bit of a stigma.

For example, older may tend to say "we want things the way they were" while the younger might say "we need change from the status quo". Two opinions that appear to be in conflict and thus, arguements, often heated, sometimes ensue. Tempers flare, heated words are thrown from both sides, feelings get hurt, lines get drawn, some leave and a bit of a war begins.

But in truth, it's all smoke and mirrors. Everybody here has a common bond. And it doesn't matter if you come here for friendship, to learn and grow or you're just looking for hand-party material. Get past all that and you have a large group of people who love the community in their own way. Granted, you're always going to have those who love to stir the pot and shake things up for their own amusement. But the majority of people here are, or should be, smart enough to see past the illusion of groups or cliques or whatever other nonsensical terms you want to use and see that there's a place here for everyone.

And in the end, that is how it should be.

 

[Knot Amewzed]

I don't believe there's a split inasmuch as there's a perception of a split. For some reason that I've never understood a lot of people need to fit things into neat little categories: veterans/newbs, older/younger, active/lurker, etc. etc. And with that perception, it brings a bit of a stigma.

For example, older may tend to say "we want things the way they were" while the younger might say "we need change from the status quo". Two opinions that appear to be in conflict and thus, arguements, often heated, sometimes ensue. Tempers flare, heated words are thrown from both sides, feelings get hurt, lines get drawn, some leave and a bit of a war begins.

But in truth, it's all smoke and mirrors. Everybody here has a common bond. And it doesn't matter if you come here for friendship, to learn and grow or you're just looking for hand-party material. Get past all that and you have a large group of people who love the community in their own way. Granted, you're always going to have those who love to stir the pot and shake things up for their own amusement. But the majority of people here are, or should be, smart enough to see past the illusion of groups or cliques or whatever other nonsensical terms you want to use and see that there's a place here for everyone.

And in the end, that is how it should be.

Fucking brilliant.

 

[Deleted member 66627]

This forum is split into two groups, the active and the lurking.

I agree for the most part. Although at times it seems as if it's split up between the active and the semi-active, but not enough to want to get overtly involved, due to some feeling of wanting to be different. And that's where the problem can lie sometimes.

 

[Mephistopheles]

semi-active, but not enough to want to get overtly involved, due to some feeling of wanting to be different.

Well, if there were 2 groups I'd be in this one. And it's not so much wanting to be different, but actually being different. There's a cultural difference to begin with. But then there's also people who know eachother from gatherings and by other means and so have a personal bond that you can never get by just posting on a forum. And over the years the regulars have gotten to know eachother through various ways and that's something you cannot just become a part of.

 

[Deleted member 66627]

And over the years the regulars have gotten to know eachother through various ways and that's something you cannot just become a part of.

I disagree completely. I haven't been around for years and I've been placed into the 'class' of a 'regular'. Everyone is just as open and receptive as they choose to be. And some would rather not take that chance for whatever reason they choose. But, they shouldn't blame other folks for the reason they end up choosing. If that makes sense.

Apparently I'm not doing so hot in the communication department today. 😛

 

[Mephistopheles]

I disagree completely. I haven't been around for years and I've been placed into the 'class' of a 'regular'. Everyone is just as open and receptive as they choose to be. And some would rather not take that chance for whatever reason they choose. But, they shouldn't blame other folks for the reason they end up choosing. If that makes sense.

Apparently I'm not doing so hot in the communication department today. 😛

Well, then it's possibly just me being unable to connect to the majority of the world's population.

 

[Deleted member 66627]

Well, then it's possibly just me being unable to connect to the majority of the world's population.

You're not speaking in terms of the forum, correct? Because we barely make up a fraction of the world's population. 😛

 

[casper314]

I agree with Jeff;

when you have thousands of people; you will have tens of thousands of opinions and believes. We have one common factor which is stronger than any one person's or groups belief.

If we can learn to accept others opinions and belief without making them feel their wrong. we will take a large step to truly becoming one community under TICKLING.

 

[Capnmad]

There are real splits that emerge occasionally, but then, either the splits heal or the sting dulls over days, weeks, months or years. Maybe longer. Or maybe they don't at all. Mostly, though, those aren't the sort of things that get talked about directly or in public.

The sort of splits that get talked about publicly and directly (and are the topic of this thread) are less truly material splits, but rather perceptions that spawn behaviors that elicit reactions that in turn reinforce the original perception. It's a cycle that it seems a lot of folks here tend to feed into.

I'm actually writing something brief on this matter which I'll share maybe later this week, because I'm not fond of insoluable problems, and I tend to think both "sides" are given to talking past each other and pointing fingers (thus getting us nowhere) more than offering insight and options to help the troubled come to some resolution.

 

[Mephistopheles]

You're not speaking in terms of the forum, correct? Because we barely make up a fraction of the world's population. 😛

People in general, but the forum as well. I still feel like an outsider, but I don't consider that to be a bad thing. It surely leaves you out on alot of the joy that happens around here but also keeps you out of the nasty bits and flames, so you can just say "lol, internet" when people get angry at eachother and get on with your life.

 

[Deleted member 66627]

and I tend to think both "sides" are given to talking past each other and pointing fingers (thus getting us nowhere) more than offering insight and options to help the troubled come to some resolution.

Sometimes there isn't anything that needs to be resolved.

People in general, but the forum as well. I still feel like an outsider, but I don't consider that to be a bad thing. It surely leaves you out on alot of the joy that happens around here but also keeps you out of the nasty bits and flames, so you can just say "lol, internet" when people get angry at eachother and get on with your life.

I understand what you're saying. I know a lot though that get alot of the positive, but just stay away from the negative. It doesn't make them 'outsiders', it just makes them neutral.

Do you feel that the only way to really partake in the fun parts of the forum is to be involved with every aspect, including the flames? Because, I disagree strongly with that.

 

[Mephistopheles]

Do you feel that the only way to really partake in the fun parts of the forum is to be involved with every aspect, including the flames? Because, I disagree strongly with that.

Not necessarily, but for instance making friends here does get you a certain emotional involvement that opens the doors to flames. Just take a look at skip's thread.

 

[Goodieluver]

I Think its interesting how every so odd month there is a post on cliques\groups and whatnot on the forum