Wow, 6 pages in one night! You people must have sat up for hours.
This is a fascinating discussion, whether it meets the aim of the question or not, and I'm glad to see that I am not the only one who has agonized over this issue. I shall give my two bits worth as well - not to negatate what has been said so far, but to put perhaps another angle on it.
Why is a fetish such as this such a problem, when it actually is pretty harmless on any grand scale? It can be either because we are frightened of its possible future consequences on our relationships, on our life and reputation, should it get out of hand or some other such fear. And then again, it can be out of shamebecause we feel it is unworthy of us, of the image that we have built up of ourselves and that we would like others to have of us. I see no other reason at the moment - if there is, please enlighten me.
I agree with Val that there can be no real "cure" because the origin of a fetish is so shrouded in mystery - it being subject to neither inheritance nor environment, but rather something that arises spontaneously at some point in the psyche in a very individual and specific way, usually in very early childhood. And the instinctive tendency of most people is to feel ashamed or uneasy about it, to hide it from the world until they feel their personality and individuality can cope with accepting it as a part of who they are - if this ever happens. It never has with me, really.
But one can learn to cope with it, and here various suggestions have shown how individuals have managed. To put it in my words, it is firstly important that we do not think that our fetish is us, is who we really are, but place it where it belongs, as a small, but important and mysterious part off our sexual persona, which is in itself also only one aspect of aour individuality. And then try to explore the other, the greater part of who we are - to find a path, spiritual, or social or simply in human relationships, in which we can grow and develop as a person, living according to our own feeling for what is ethical, moral, in good taste and so on.
If that brings us in touch with a higher power, well and good. But also this is subject to the dictates of our individuality, and will take on individual colouring in each person.
I personally have a difficulty in talking about God, because to me, the relationship to God is essentially one of the heart, a very inward, personal relationship that cannot be shared in words if it is to be understood. So I prefer to refer to it as a path of personal development.
The important thing, however, is that I can lead my life knowing that this is who I really am, and not the fetish, which is only a charcteristic of my personality.
Then we can also look to the positive aspects of such an "imperfection" within us. For my own part, I know that having something like this has brought an element of humility and modesty into my life that I surely would not have easily acquired any other way - because my tendency would have been towards arrogance and impatience with other people's imperfections. So it has brought an element of realism into my life, like a constant reminder.
And it has also led me to ask, why, if this is such an individual part of me, not acquired from parents or outer events and impressions in my life, have I got this?
It belongs essentially to me, I was, so to speak, born with it. That means I must have brought it with me from whatever existence I was in before I was born. So how was this incorporated into my soul - and the step from this to believing in the possibilty of a life on the earth before this one, in which the seeds for who and what I am now were laid, is not very big. I do not wish this to become a religious debate, so I expessly state this as my personal manner of dealing with the issue.
As a last picture, one can imagine our soul life suspended between two polarities balanced on a fulcrum. On the one side are our desires and wishes which make us fit for a life in the real world. On the other side is the person we really are, that core of our being that makes us an idividual soul, and which originates in a world unknown to us - we only experience its outcome. And the trick would be to put enough emphasis and work into this other, usually neglected pole to balance out our life, and thereby rob the other, the fetish pole, of its addictive and dominating force.
If this sounds like too much of a lecture, forgive me. But if you've come this far and not been too bored, you may want to add your thoughts.
