Dropping out of uni/college...am I making the right decision?

[tickle_demon]

(I apologise for bringing my personal problems to the forum, but to be honest..I need people's opinions on this, and any feedback and advice would be greatly appreciated).

I am curently a first year student at university (or college as it's known in the US), and I am seriously thinking that I have chosen the wrong course. I'm not enjoying it, I'm finding it really difficult to do the work, and I'm feeling pretty depressed.

I'm heading back home to my folks over the weekend..they're going to try and help me make a decision on what I should do know...either

a) Stick with the course
b) Drop out and re-apply for a different course next year (it's too late to change courses
c) Forget about uni and try to make a living

I really don't know what I should do...obviously it being my own life I have to make my own decision...I'm just wondering what other people would do if they're in my situation.

 

[tommytikl]

The first semester of the first year at University is always the hardest...so much is thrown at you all at once...and you are living on your own having to make a lot of decisions your parents probably made for you..ie groceries, laundry, keeping on your ass about school work, kicking you off of TMF after being on for 12 hours.
That kind of stuff...

This is the hardest point and you need to see if this major is just something you don't like...
See what other courses the University offers and see if they interest you...make sure it is the the work load of the courses that turns you off from the major...some courses are VERY loaded with work that first two years...later it becomes papers and lab work mostly.

I would stick out this semester at least...go at least that much before you bale...if you have a shot at University take it..the job market for NON-university jobs is not good or at least not going to earn you money in the long run...you will probably be stuck in construction building a building instead of designing the building if you were in University for Architecture...for example!


Best of luck man...just take a deep breath, write down all the work you need to do in like weekly incriments and organize yourself a bit...that will help alot!
And find a NON-study university thing to do...movie night, clubs, whatever...

Cheers!

 

[Mitchell]

Hi, this is tough for anyone to answer, because we are not in your specific situation, but I had a situation where I left college for a year, and then went back, and it was the best decision I ever made.
In my 2nd year of college, my parents seperated. There were an array of court issues, and financial problems which hit my mom and I immediately due to this, and I was additionally not talking to my father, which compounded the problems. For a while, I was able to block out everything, and do fine, but in my junior year, various personal pressures and court appearances caused my grades to drop sharply, and I was miserable, as no matter what I did, I couldnt get my grades up.
I went to my academic advisor, and requested that I wanted to take time off from the university. At first, she vehemently protested, fearing that I would leave school, and never come back. I knew I would finish, and decided I just needed a leave. I went against her wishes, dropped out for what would have been my senior year, solved the financial and divorce issues, and returned to campus in Sept of the following year. It proved to be the best decision of my life. Immediately when I went back, I was able to focus on only my schoolwork, my grades skyrocketed, I made many friends to counteract the ones who had graduated, and my whole attitude was different. I even had to take an extra semester to make up lost credits, but it was worth it. I graduated on a high note, and looking back, it was the best decision I ever made. I just wasnt ready for college in my senior year. Too much had happened, and I needed time, and the time off really helped me.
Maybe this isnt exactly like your situation, but I do have a theory. Maybe your emotional state doesnt want this at this time. You dont want the pressure of schoolwork, and such. I would probably say try to ride it through as I did at first, but if you're that miserable, maybe you should drop out for the rest of this year, clear your head, go and work, and try again next year. Perhaps you will be in a different frame of mind at that time. Whatever you do, please dont close off and say youre dropping out forever, because perspectives can change, and perhaps what you are not ready for now, you will be in 6 months or a year or even 2 years from now. There is no "limit". You can go back whenever you want. Most important, you have to do what feels right for you. I would discuss it with your parents, get their input, and see, but ultimately, you should have the final say, because only you know how you feel. For four months before I put in for my leave, I kept saying to my mom that I was going to take time off. She at first resisted, and we fought about it. Finally, I put my foot down, and told her I wasnt going back that year, that I needed to work, iron out issues, and clear my head. She gave in, and we both now agree it was the best decision for me.
I hope this helped. I know every situation is different, but I've been there because I left school as well for a year. Explore your options, and see what feels right. Good Luck, and let us know how you do.

Mitch

 

[TickledToDeath]

People have always changed majors, I would not stick out in a course that you are not happy with. Definitely change courses but DO NOT totally drop out of Uni/college. Delay if you have to to get your head straight and your mind at ease even if it means taking a bit of time off.

You should be sure of yourself the rest will fall into place.

TTD

 

[steph]

great (and familiar) dilemma!

I took me six and a half years to get my BA, because I dropped out for a year and a half. I had started college at 17 w/a full load, had been working three jobs (paying my own way) and kept up a crazy social schedule... I was BURNT out!

I was a journeyman checker at a California grocery store making great money, working few hours, but eventually I realized I was miserable. I remember thinking to myself, OMG~do I want to spend the rest of my LIFE punching little buttons and telling people, "19.50 please...Thanks for coming in, have a great day..." It got so bad I practically became suicidal. I remember getting stuck working fourth of July, missing a huge party and praying I would die on the way in, so I didn't have to show up. I knew something had to change, so I went back and finished that sucker, so very glad I did.

But, I'm of the mind that not everyone is suited for college~you might go talk to one of the career counselors there before you leave, find out what you really love...

XOXO

 

[Myriads]

Don't Drop out. Stick it out for your first semester then change to the new group of classes for a new path next semester.

Why? Most first year classes are general ones that most majors will need to take, so you'll need to get through them no matter what.

Come next semester you can add one or two new classes in place of ones that no longer fit. Far easier to do that then leave and have to re-apply and all that.

Myriads

 

[sole seeker]

I took my first year of college immediately after I graduated high school. That year I majored in getting girls... and I did okay too, if I do say so myself. Unfortunately, I despised the academic work and my teachers wouldn't grade my social life. I was doing very poorly grade-wise.

I dropped out of college and joined the Navy. I hated that too... but in hindsight it was the smartest thing I could have done. I'd never have made it through college at that time, I was too immature. I didn't really know what I wanted to do with my life anyway - so an advanced education would have been a waste of money and time.
I went back to college after I got out of the service. I worked full time to pay my way in conjunction with the GI Bill - graduated with honors and got my Bachelor's Degree (4 year's work) in 3 years. It was a matter of maturity, and knowing what I wanted.

Good luck, whatever you choose.

 

[ShadowTklr]

2 questions: What is your course of study? What kind of vocation do you hope to acquire as a result of your course of study?

If you're looking to make a career decision based upon an unrelated course of study, then I would suggest switching now. Don't wait. Some of the classes you will need to take for the new course of study should be taken asap. You don't want to spin your wheels on courses that are not a relevant part of your credit requirements.

If you're making a change in vocational aspirations within the course of study, like I did, (Clinical Psychology to Industrial Psychology), then, stay the course, complete the semester and re-evaluate your vocational goals.

Quitting college to earn a living should be out of the question. You'll regret it.

Taking time off from college can be very dangerous as well. You'll have to have a disciplined schedule to insure your return. A one year sabatical from college can cause your priorities to shift. College may drop lower and lower on your list until you no longer have the desire to go at all.

Whichever way you decide, STICK WITH COLLEGE. The pain in the ass that is studying, does not soften with age. Best of luck!

 

[Lynchy]

I empathise here. I'm considering leaving music college. I've got a hell of lot of personal stuff to cope with this year and I just can't cope with that AND college. But at the same time, like you, I'm torn. This is my biggest chance to take the route in life I want to take.

I think you should think long and hard about this, and consider all your options. You'll need a long term plan if you quit.

 

[buggs]

It has been my experience that sometimes the best things in life are never easy. They suck at first, but later one that is what we remember the most. Having the where-with-all to get through the sucky parts of it. If you really don't want it and can honestly say that you can look back in at giving it up without any regreats or remorse, then give it up. But if you know you are going to look back and hate your decision, then stick with it.

 

[P50]

The stupidest thing I've ever seen is the requirement (as opposed to the option) placed on collegiate freshmen to choose a major before they enter college.

Mine changed at least twice; maybe five times, I don't really remember.

I suggest that you change your major to something that requires courses that will [1] easily transfer to another major and which [2] might interest you and which [3] you think you can accomplish well.

Among these courses, English composition comes immediately to mind, as do standard starting math and science courses. Some knowledge of the political structure of your country would be useful (read the Politics and religion forum here to see how far off the typical American is from what the structure really is). It will seldom hurt anyone to know how the decisions of businesses are made; and that often includes something called accounting. You will have to interface with humans, and courses in psychology will be invaluable here, with sociology perhaps even more useful. If your brain is the analytical logical type, the subjects of physics and chemistry are timeless, inifinite, and fascinating. If you really want to have an idea of where your life will be in 25 years from today, study a little American history, especially the recent century. You'll find the roots of many of the problems and forces acting on us today, and get a good idea of what is most likely coming down the pike.

You don't have to quit, and I strongly advise against it. If you are currently young, and you can get that piece of paper earlier, every option mentioned in this thread; military, business, social / sexual, and I truly believe even tickling relationships, will be multiplied tenfold over in every direction in your life.

Example, a young college graduate has military options that nobody else will ever have.

Ditto for corporate jobs

Ditto for starting a business

Ditto for meeting a 'Lee.

You are currently in the worst and most confused state of your life. Know what ? It's awful, isn't it ?

Let me draw an analogy. Did you ever contemplate being your age and in your position and facing these difficulties when you were in, say, the 4th grade in elementary school ? Time flew since then, didn't it ?

I assure you that the time will fly just as quickly for you to advance to where us oldies are today.

Don't quit. Adjust the courses. It isn't you, it's the course you're taking. ("Course", as in "direction and heading", not stupidology 107)

 

[P50]

Ooops, make that "UK History" for you.

I'm so smart.

 

[kis123]

I have one piece of advice for you as someone who has been there and done that.....

Please stay in school! Learn what you can from these courses and prepare to shine next year. If you drop out, especially at this point in your life, it could take years for you to come back if at all!

I was a college freshman just like you. I had no idea what my course of study was to be. I was just told I had to go to college or find somewhere else to live and become the family's social outcast. Unfortunately, threats and intimidation was just a part of growing up in my family. No one counseled me as to what would be an appropriate career choice. No one told me I could complete required courses while I tried to figure out what I was going to do with my life. They just took my money and set me up for failure.

The immaturity factor was phenominal! Whoever was the person that said 18 was the age of adulthood should be burned at the stake! All I did was drink, party, and date. As someone already mentioned, those courses don't get graded by the dean! They didn't mind taking my money and felt no responsibility in helping me make more mature choices for my life. I ended up leaving state college and spending five years obtaining an associate's degree.

Did I mention that by this time, I became a single mother to a disabled child? At some point all of my immature legal adult choices had come to a head in my life. I dropped in and out of school until I married and my second child was born. Now we couldn't be a college student, wife, and parent too, could we? Not if we didn't have a supportive husband who felt his wife needed a life that made her feel human. So I dropped out of college and became a mother and wife. I relished in the mom stuff, but learned to hate the wife stuff because I was controlled, intimidated, and manipulated, never supported in anything. After years of feeling controlled and manipulated, I separated from the husband. My kids' living arrangements changed two years later and I got a taste of early empty nest syndrome. After I cried my eyes out and pity partied for six months, I had an epithany-maybe I should do something for myself for a change. I went back to school, and now am within weeks of obtaining my bachelors degree.

There is no way I want to see you go through what I did. If I would've had my degree when most college students obtain it, I wouldn't have suffered in a bad marriage like I did. I wouldn't have had to work miserable jobs that didn't require degrees. The thousands of dollars I went without that my friends got to enjoy because they chose college (but they had a supportive family structure in place). I'm working with my daughter so she'll be prepared to go to college in the next couple of years. When my son matures a bit more, I'll support him in any college decisions he desires as long as he gives it a real chance!

Try to work this out and stay where you are. Try to make the best of it for now, and make some changes for the next year. It took me over twenty years to complete my degree, and I may have to obtain a masters degree before anyone will really give me respect and the dollars that come with it.

The good news is you know your limitations and are mature enough to say you're having problems instead of pretending everything's fine and then wondering why you flunked out later. I respect and admire that and will do my best to support you in any decision you may make for yourself. But take it from someone who's been in your shoes and made the wrong decision-dont' quit! Whatever you do, don't quit! You may regret it for years!

 

[tickle_demon]

To everyone who replied, thank you for your kind words and advice.

Having come back from my folks, I'm determined to give the course I'm doing all I have, but if things don't improve, I know have several options to fall back on (changing my course and reapplying next year, or even doing a degree from home).

Thanks again to everyone. Hopefully things will improve from now on.

 

[kis123]

Yeah to tickle_demon!!!

*kis slaps him a high-five* I personally think you're making the best decision for yourself and giving this a real chance before you drop out and regret it for the rest of your life!! Unless you're Bill Gates, you really need to complete college/university and get your degree to compete in the world today.

Good luck to you and if you run into problems, we'll be there for you again!!!!😉 😉 😉

 

[steph]

I'm glad to hear it. Not everyone gets to go to college and I think if you can, you should take advantage of the opportunity. You can always choose to do something else later, but it's a nice thing to have. You can lose your life, your driver's license, your freedom but a degree can never be taken from you. Pretty cool I think, huh?

I found the first two years felt like extended high school because you had to take all the req gen ed crap, but after that it got really fun because you basically get to design your own program and take classes you like!

XOXO

 

[fitnesstickle]

Good call bro. It will be worth it to stick it out. Education is sooooo important now.

 

[P50]

I'm here for Private Messaging if you want.

I am confident others will receive your PMs as well.

I'll be glad to share with you my worst mistakes (not in public, but one-on-one) if that would help you.

Simply putting classes at the wrong time of day made a horrific difference for me at times.

More on this later, if and only if you think it would help you.

 

[Cav88]

i'm 23 i've only completed 2 years officially and I have no idea what I want to do with my life. I know the feeling.

 

[crydun]

Good luck tickle_demon in all your endeavors

 

[tommytikl]

I am glad you are sticking it out tickle_Demon...an education is important in todays world!

Best of luck man...and remember to ENJOY college as well!

 

[Ticklish9's]

I went through a similar problem, dropped out, joined the army, came back after my active tour and STILL hated it... I've since "dropped out" of college and begun working on two career I absolutely adore, I'm very happy and I make a decent buck too. College, in my case, was an unfortunate and highly expensive waste of time - HOWEVER, that's not always the case. It's something that bears thinking about, most certainly.

I feel that American society overemphasizes the importance of getting into college IMMEDIATELY after high school, when many kids aren't ready for it. It tends to trap you into "the system" (if you'll pardon my conspiracy theory phrasing 😉 ) early, because as soon as you finish, you're obligated to start paying your loans back, which in many cases are absolutely ridiculous in terms of the value. This requires you to immediately procure a long term "real job," which isn't a bad thing... but you'd miss out on the free-wheeling travel-and-fun lifestyle that I enjoy so much (which, admittedly, is also not for everyone).

You're going to have to set back and decide what it is that's most important to you, what your fundamental goals are, and then decide whether college is an essential and immediate step on the way to those goals. Only you can do that. 🙂

(One word of warning - I'm a bit cynical about college because, as a socialist, I tend to see the institution as a means of dividing America even further into haves and have-nots... after all, the only grade they ACTUALLY care about is your credit rating. Even George Bush graduated from college ::lol:: So take my advice with a grain of salt!)

 

[tickle_demon]

Ok, I'm dropping out (Hear me out people).

I'm dropping out of my current college because of the course. I'm re-applying to a different college next year, doing a different degree which I will hopefully enjoy more...and understand!

But still, thanks to everyone who has replied to this post, and has told me to hang in there. I'm not withdrawing from higher education completly, just changing the direction I want to take.

 

[tommytikl]

College is NOT for everyone...but if you want certain jobs, ie accounting, computers(in general), engineering, archetecture, the college is the best way to get the knowledge you require to get a job you would like.

Whereas if you are a painter, or scultper or landscaper, you may not need college at all, just take some accounting classes or maybe a marketing class or two so you can better sell yourself.

And yeah, taking a year off isn't bad, if you really aren't ready.


One thing Tickle_demon...if you just drop your college completely, and most to another one, basically none of your current classes will transfer to the new one...but if you finish the current college classes at least the minor ones then they should transfer...UNLESS, your grades are sooo poor..THEN it is best to bale out and start over at a new college...


Good luck Tickle_Demon!