In my life, I've pretty much gone and chosen my family, really. I've always cared far more for my best friend than any of my cousins, or aunts and uncles...and even my parents, to some degree. It's totally unconditional in any way. I've known him for 28 years, and we have had some real blowouts over the years, but, hey, he's my family. He's more than my family.
There's a woman whose brother I was originally close with, back in high school. She's four years younger than me...in fact, I had a secret crush on her back in those days, that she never found out about until at least fifteen years down the road. There were two major roadblocks to my realizing something with her...first the age differential, and second, the color differential...it was a very different world in those days, and I didn't think I could take the heat on either side. I went into the service, her brother went his own oddball way, and this girl and I got reacquainted nine or ten years after I graduated from high school...and the third and decisive roadblock came about: she's committed to an alternative lifestyle. Nevertheless, we've been the closest of friends for the past sixteen years. We've adopted ourselves as siblings; at times I've been far closer to her than my own sister.
I've adopted the family of a close Navy buddy of mine as a surrogate extended family, a wonderful, lively Maryland crowd that makes me feel so glad to be alive when I go down to visit.
So, I guess, in a way, you can choose substitutes for yourself, when you've been deprived of the love and the emotional support and the unconditionality that you've needed. I hope Slacker makes the kind of bonds I've discussed, because it's a very nice thing.
