Favorite "Simpsons" Quote?

[max cross]

Ok, im paraphrasing here so its not completely accurate

Principal Skinner: A chance to get bart simpson, the 2nd most wanted kid in school after the mysterious El Barto

Viva El Barto!!!! 😀

 

[Celtic_Emperor]

"If you see only one film this year which proves my innocence, make it this one!"- Mr. Burns

 

[Duke Diablo]

"Ha ha!"
- Nelson

 

[Celtic_Emperor]

"Worst episode ever!"- Comic Book Guy

 

[CellarDweller]

and there have been a few suggestions that Millhouse is gay. lmao

 

[Celtic_Emperor]

"I'm sorry, but theres no denying your son's homosexual tendencies..."- Councelor

"Barts not gay!"- Marge

"Oh, your son's name is Bart?! Sorry, wrong file."- Councelor (puts Milhouse's file away)


"I don't know how that scruncy got into my hair, I swear!"- Milhouse

 

[Celtic_Emperor]

"Material goods leads to attachment, and attachment to material goods kills the soul."- The Buddha (wearing a knitted sweater and driving a porshe)

*Buddha is speeding and has some cops sirening him*

"I ain't going back to jail!"- Buddha *speeds up but then gets pulled over*

*Buddha is being patted down by the cops after his arrest without his shirt and wearing handcuffs like a criminal*

"I've got yo badge number! You betta hope I don't get out!"- Buddha

 

[CheshireCatNY]

"Material goods leads to attachment, and attachment to material goods kills the soul."- The Buddha (wearing a knitted sweater and driving a porshe)

*Buddha is speeding and has some cops sirening him*

"I ain't going back to jail!"- Buddha *speeds up but then gets pulled over*

*Buddha is being patted down by the cops after his arrest without his shirt and wearing handcuffs like a criminal*

"I've got yo badge number! You betta hope I don't get out!"- Buddha

OMG!! I've never seen that one! I have to now! 😀

 

[Celtic_Emperor]

Yeah, it was pretty funny. And they did it in such a way that it wasn't insulting, I think. Actually, it was a daydream/thought Homer was having, so it didn't actually happen.

 

[Spud_Mobile]

Oh man, how do I choose?

Well, there's tons, obviously... and sorry, haven't read the whole thread so excuse me if this one has been posted already. But this is one of my favorite Homer quotes ever, after Bart tells him he wants to follow him in his Monorail-conductor footsteps:

"Do you want to change your name to Homer, Junior? The kids can call you HoJu!"

 

[Celtic_Emperor]

"Homer, we can't take his money!"- Marge

"Oh thats just great! I can't take HIS money, I can't print my OWN money, I have to WORK for money...why don't I just lay down and die!"- Homer

 

[CellarDweller]

Ok, bumping up an old thread, because I saw an episode that had a quote in it that made me laugh out loud.

Homer, Marge, and Lisa were driving through an animal reserve, and Homer crashes into a statue of a deer, and this is said.

Homer: Doh!!!!

Lisa: A deer!!!

Marge: A female deer!


rotflmao!

 

[Celtic_Emperor]

(This is when Mr. Burns is dating a young female cop and has Homer go along to do all of the physical activity, minus intimacy, needed to make the relationship work.)

*Mr. Burns whispers to Homer*

"Put my hand on her knee."- Burns

"Yes, Mr. Burns."- Homer

*Homer does it*

"I said her, and I said knee!"- Burns

 

[batch1]

Marge : Have you noticed something about Bart?
Homer : New glasses?
Marge : No. It seems like something could be troubling him.
Homer : Probably misses his old glasses.
Marge : I want to get more involved in Bart's activities, but then I'd be afraid of smothering him.
Homer : Yeah, and then we'd get the chair.
Marge : That's not what I meant.
Homer : Admit it Marge, it was.

 

[strider1]

I have about five million favorite Simpsons quotes. From the B-Sharps episode:

Apu: (introducing himself) Apu Nahasapeemapetilon.
Nigel: Hmm. Never fit on a marquee, luv. From now on, your name is Apu de Beaumarchais.
Apu: It is a great dishonor to my ancestors and my god... but okay!

Reporter: I have a question for Apu de Beaumarchais. Isn't it true that you're really an Indian?
Apu: By the many arms of Vishnu, I swear it is a lie!

And from the one where Homer, Burns, and Smithers were in Cuba:

Castro: Comrades, the island is completely bankrupt, we have no choice but to abandon communism. I'll call Washington and tell them they won.
Aide to Castro: But, El Presidente, the Americans tried to kill you.
Castro: Ah, the Americans are not so bad, they even named a district in San Francisco after me.
(Castro's aide whispers something to him)
Castro: It's full of what?!

Castro: May I see it (Burn's trillion dollar bill)
Burns: Oh, I don't know.
Homer: Mr. Burns, I think we can trust the president of Cuba.
(Burns hands Castro the bill)
Burns: OK, now give it back.
(Castro's not holding anything)
Castro: Give what back?
(cut to:Homer, Burns, and Smithers on a raft in the middle of the ocean)
Homer: It's hard to believe there's a place worse than America, but we found it.
Smithers: (to Burns) Um sir, you're looking at considerable jail time.
Burns: Well, if it's a crime to love one's country, then I'm guilty of that. And if it's a crime to steal a trillion dollars from our government and hand it over to communist Cuba, then I'm guilty of that too. And if it's a crime to bribe a jury, then so help me, I'll soon be guilty of that!
Homer: God bless America!

 

[Celtic_Emperor]

"How could you! Toying with people's lives for t.v ratings!"- Homer (as he stares at Carmen Electra's boobs)

"Umm, Homer, my face is up here."- Carmen

*Homer keeps staring at her boobs*

"I've made my choice."- Homer

 

[the_gray_jester]

" sounds like she's beating a baby with a at"
and
"if youd excuse me, id like to be alone with my thought"

 

[Celtic_Emperor]

"Marge, I have to confess something to you! I put you in the driver's seat and let you get arrested.."- Homer

"I can't believe you did that to me!"- Marge

"Marge! I did it out of love! Love of not being arrested!"- Homer

 

[a1532b]

"I wish I wish I'd never squished that fish". It is so poetic... ;D

 

[Celtic_Emperor]

"I'm sure she's sorry about the whole thing!"- Marge

"I'm afraid thats insufficient! Officer, arrest that baby!"- Burns

"Yeah, right pops. No jury in the world would ever convict a baby! Mmm...maybe Texas."- Wiggum

(in regards to Maggie shooting Mr. Burns)

 

[Timewarp]

"Whoo Hoo. Good things happen to bad people" -Homer
"Oh pilot! Let's stop off at oh, Hinderberge and drop by Octoberfest. (Suspenseful music) AHHHHH! OHHHH!!." Back to homer "Sweet"- Homer's imagination when he learns he could use the Duff corperate Jet.
"Ohh....half goes to bart and half to my vegas wife...what's left for Moe?" -Homer

 

[Celtic_Emperor]

"Hey look! It's Duff Man!"- Lenny

"Hey, I thought you died of alcohol poisoning?"- Carl

"Duff Man never dies! Only the actors who play him!"- Duff Man

 

[a1532b]

Lol fttkllvr. I must remember never to reject chess, then. 😉

"I bent my wookie" -ralph

"my cats breath smells like cat food" -ralph

Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and then the baby looked at me. - ralph

That's where I saw the Leprchaun. He tells me to burn things! - ralph

Ralph has the funniest quotes ever. period.

 

[Celtic_Emperor]

Heck yeah! Ralph is so cool!

"Why do people always run away from me?"- Ralph (as he wets himself)

"I'll give you three crayons and a carton of milk!"- Ralph (to Homer, who is selling his house)

"Hmmm...make that a chocolate milk and you've got a deal."- Homer

"*drops milk and crayons and wipes his hands* I'm walking away."- Ralph

"Your hair is big and pretty!"- Ralph (to Marge)

"Why thank you, Ralph! You're such a little gentleman!"- Marge (puts her hand on Ralph's shoulder)

"Ahhhhhhhhhhh! Help! She's touching me in my special area!"- Ralph

 

[AMS4181]

Grandpa: "The Simpson story begins back in the old country. I forget which one excatly. My fathere would go on and on about America. He thought it was the greatest thing since sliced bread. Slived bread having been invented the previous winter."