Feeling the need to share tickling stories at the TMF

[YouNeverKnow175]

Hello friends.

I'm wondering if you all will help me talk something through and explore a question in my mind. For a while on the TMF I never posted anything. Then from time to time an occasional discussion topic or story. As some of you might know from my posts, I love true stories - hearing them and telling them.

In the past few years, I've developed a new, strong affinity for sharing true stories (and the occasional fictional story) on the TMF. I'm not sure quite what it is about it that I like. Certainly the idea of turning on other guys doesn't excite me. Girls...well, maybe 🙂 But I'm not sure how many of the readers of my stories out there are actually women. Seeking to elicit responses about similar experiences? Maybe a little. I also do find some gratification in recounting the story and typing it up in all its glorious detail.

But I think more of it has to do with wanting to share something that only the tickling community can appreciate. I don't know how many "vanilla" people "talk about sex" with their close friends. That doesn't interest me. If I knew that one of my friends (male or female) was actually into tickling, I think I'd turn to that person to share stories and experiences as a way of, really, expressing the wonder of some of the things we see and experience. I don't have anyone in my life who would truly appreciate the tickling experiences I have had except you all.

So what's the problem? Well, the main part of my internal conflict with this right now is that I have a girlfriend of about a year now who I love and want to stay with. She's wonderful, amazing, kind, open-minded, beautiful, and extremely ticklish. Over the past few months I've shared a lot of stories about ex's and friends (and a few about myself as an "accidental" lee) - and have some level of guilt about it. My girlfriend doesn't know I've been doing that. We've had a conversation before about porn (her telling me she'd occasionally looked at it online before we got together) and the sites I like (tickling and feet sites, which I talked about having spent time on before and alluded to "occasionally" doing it now but didn't really get into it), and she seemed very accommodating and open to it.

I think she would be fine knowing that occasionally if she's away or whatever that I look at different sites and read stories and occasionally post conversation topics. I'm not sure she'd react so favorably to knowing I was sharing true stories about ex-girlfriends and friends.

And for now...I'm not wanting to share stories about her. It's a little too new and too sacred right now. At some point, though, I might feel more inclined, and I wonder what she'd think.

She's been very open to my tickling and foot fetishes and doesn't find them strange or off-putting at all - with the exception that she, like many girls, has the unfortunate baggage of having been tickle tortured by family members as a kid and so has difficult associations with it. But she's open to working with that too and we've been taking it slow, doing very short tickles at a time.

I believe in honesty and openness in a relationship - and I also believe that it's not necessary to share absolutely everything with your partner. Somehow this feels like I fine line and I can't quite figure it out. It also sometimes seems unrealistic - now that I believe I've found my partner - to think that one person will provide all your sexual gratification/needs in your whole lifetime. I'm not interested in an "open relationship" - more like occasional exchange with you all here on the forum.

In some way, I wish I had just one "real life" friend that was into tickling and I could share all sorts of stories and experiences with that person and that would be that.

Any thoughts you have are much appreciated!

 

[Marquis De Sade]

If you're uncomfortable about it in any way, shape or form then simply don't share anything about something so intimate as random strangers online certainly don't need to know and we have no business being privy to such details. Your partner doesn't need to know every chivalrous act you choose to do in her name or for the sake of the relationship and that includes respecting her privacy.

I have a shitload of stories I could share in the True Tickling sub-forum but have never posted anything there. I stick to Fiction because to me it just seems more respectful.

That's just me though. But the fact that you started this thread says a little something.

If you feel you want to in the future, ask her first to avoid feeling guilty.

 

[Phineas]

Personally, I don't think I'll be sharing any more true stories given the reactions I've seen/gotten - some people just can't seem to leave it where it needs to be and take it for what it is.

Anyhoo. I agree with the Marquis, which is awesome because it rhymes. Basically, go with your gut. If you don't feel comfortable with it, I don't think anyone here can (or should) convince you to go against that, especially where your current girl is concerned.

 

[Myriads]

A very thoughtful and well presented question.

From my perspective you have handled this entire matter very well. You have been open with your girlfriend about your likes, and that you have visited the forum. You have solid communication with her about playing together for your happiness, and you are sensitive to the issues she faces while doing that. All good.

The true stories that you posted here were posted before your relationship if I understand correctly, and you have not been doing it since your current relationship has begun. It's part of your past, and you have stopped the sharing for now. She really cannot complain about things you did before you were together. And even if she did you can point to the fact that you stopped once you entered your relationship with her. So you are morally and ethically secure.

Now, that leaves admitting to her that you USED to do it, and explaining why. This goes into the area of your sexuality, and what turns you on. In this case a desire to connect with others that share your fetish, and you did this by sharing. When the time comes for you to talk to her about this, based on what you have said about her, I think she'll understand.

She will naturally ask if you've shared stories about her, and you can honestly say no. But indicate how doing so might fit into your life. And a good discussion can start. Since it's all not a done deal, its easy to talk over as no actions are set. And she can veto anything.

Like all aspects of a sexual relationship you and she are still learning each others lines and such. Since you have great communication there is no reason that things will not keep going as well as they are now.

Good luck
Myriads

 

[YouNeverKnow175]

I appreciate everyone's responses so far.

One clarification to Myriads - I have posted stories since being in this new relationship.

I think in a sense I also want to say that I'm not necessarily seeking out ethical advice. I understand to some extent what I'm exploring here is an ethical issue. I'm working with that aspect and I am on a spiritual path myself, which doesn't involve being perfect but does include striving to be fully who I am and actualize my full potential as a human being.

But I could go anywhere for "ethical" advice -the particular angle you can offer whatever thoughts you have on this topic is from the perspective of being "fetishists" or members of the tickling community. This is kind of the key point. I've told all my girlfriends and a couple of friends about my love of tickling and feet - but I have never talked to anyone in person who actually understands and can really relate to what it's like to have a tickling or foot fetish. The only place I've been able to do that is on here. And as you all know, being sexually aroused by tickling (and feet for those of us who are) is a unique experience - including one of the foremost aspects being that you witness it a lot in the mainstream, everyday life.

Anyhow, thank you so far and I look forward to continuing the dialogue.

 

[Marquis De Sade]

I don't understand this at all. Just because we here can offer opinions based on the perspective of people who share a mutual interest with you, how would our answers differ from anywhere else if it the question pertains to a relationship? A relationship is a relationship is a relationship and whether or not a fetish is included in that relationship, it's still a relationship - same as a vanilla one, same as any other one that adheres to the foundations of any healthy relationship which would be love, respect, honesty and trust.

Having a sexual fetish of any kind doesn't make us any different or unique from people who enjoy the Missionary Position night after night. The choice of whether or not to share intimate details with other people are STILL weighed against the blind choice of one or a decision or compromise reached by both parties.

Please clarify.

 

[YouNeverKnow175]

I guess perhaps underlying the whole scenario I've laid out in this post is simply a yearning to connect with other people who are also into tickling. That's probably what it comes down to, and I need to figure out how important that is and then if and how to talk to my girlfriend about that. It's really not a matter of wanting to "cheat" or cultivate sexual relationships - just connect with others who share the interest. It's kind of lonely having your mind absolutely blown by witnessing or hearing about something and have no one who can relate.

I don't understand this at all. Just because we here can offer opinions based on the perspective of people who share a mutual interest with you, how would our answers differ from anywhere else if it the question pertains to a relationship? A relationship is a relationship is a relationship and whether or not a fetish is included in that relationship, it's still a relationship - same as a vanilla one, same as any other one that adheres to the foundations of any healthy relationship which would be love, respect, honesty and trust.

Having a sexual fetish of any kind doesn't make us any different or unique from people who enjoy the Missionary Position night after night. The choice of whether or not to share intimate details with other people are STILL weighed against the blind choice of one or a decision or compromise reached by both parties.

Please clarify.

 

[Myriads]

You seek "Tribe"

It's not different then people who enjoy a specific sports team, and always watch the games at a bar or club with others to share the energy of their enjoyment, and to give their own. A feeling of being part of something, and sharing that.

What it seems you are trying to square, is that you want your partner to understand that your need to be part of the tribe is not a threat to her relationship with you. You are not looking for a replacement, or something on the side. And you seem to get all the arousal you need from the relationship, so you are not in search of that. You just want to have someplace where people will understand what you mean when you bring a tickling topic up.

That seem the question you are looking to answer.

Myriads

 

[Marquis De Sade]

I guess perhaps underlying the whole scenario I've laid out in this post is simply a yearning to connect with other people who are also into tickling. That's probably what it comes down to, and I need to figure out how important that is and then if and how to talk to my girlfriend about that. It's really not a matter of wanting to "cheat" or cultivate sexual relationships - just connect with others who share the interest. It's kind of lonely having your mind absolutely blown by witnessing or hearing about something and have no one who can relate.

Ah, got it. As I suspected I completely misunderstood the meaning behind your post.