@Jeff: This is one of the things I find very wrong with people (not aimed at you). The fact that they consider interpretation and response a burden. People seem to want to be robots more and more. Same-old routine every day, not a single change, makes them feel safe. They don't want to THINK. Even the act of having to think is horrible. Let's just call the neighbor or have the service-man do it. Being forced to deal with something is an attack, an intrusion. I find that horrible, to say the least.
--- Rereading this, I see I used the word "you" a lot. I mean the abstract you, not you personally Prov.
Deciding what to do about a touch is absolutely a burden, that's really not something you can debate and I'll try to illustrate why. It might not be one that you mind personally, but anything you do that forces someone else to deal with you is inherently aggressive. And it doesn't have to be physical contact, it's also about personal space.
If you're walking down the street and I suddenly step into your path, forcing you to either shove me aside or go around me, even though technically I haven't done anything wrong, I've still been very aggressive towards you and forced you to make a decision about my capabilities and intentions.
Same thing if I follow along behind you on the street saying your name over and over again loudly. Technically I'm not assaulting you, and you could certainly just ignore it and go on with your day. But as a practical matter, you probably have to decide if I'm going to escalate to something worse.
Touching someone who doesn't know you does the same thing, it forces them to assess your intentions and capabilities. Especially if you're touching a woman, who probably isn't in a position to defend herself from you if your intentions aren't good. You can't just casually blow off her need to protect herself by judging your likelihood of assaulting her, by saying she's a robot who doesn't want her routine shaken up.
I mean, that's really kind of an outlandish statement you made there.
Physical contact forces someone to deal with you, it takes the choice away from them entirely, and it introduces the possiblity, however small, of a physical confrontation, because the person doing the touching has already stepped outside of the social norms by doing it. The person being touched has a judgement call on their hands, interpreting the touch and what it might mean.
And because it was physical, they do not have the option of ignoring it, the way they might if you just said something rude to them in passing.
That's why it's aggressive and intrusive, because they do not have any choice.
You having a different opinion about it in the privacy of your own head doesn't alter the fact that it's force.
You're forcing them to deal with you, and when you use force on someone, there's only one way to describe it.
