everyone's response has been very, very nice, but i think that this person is semi-delusional and is really out of touch with reality and support is not what she needs. she needs reality. this is a list of what she has recently done: 1) thinking men don't look at pornography; 2) thinking her saying anything to him would change his behavior (what world does she live in?); 3) dating a married man (good move); 4) looking outside herself for an answer ("we are both in gods hands"? please); 5) posting an anti-tickling/anti-porn message on a tickling website in some sick attempt to get back those who "hurt" her, when the people here have done nothing to promote her foolish and self-destructive decisions, etc.
take some personal responsibility for your decisions, and stop blaming them on other people. if you are serious about helping yourself, you need to go to therapy.
your moral viewpoints have no place anywhere but in the general discussion forum. also, before you start having a pity party for yourself, you should do some non-religious philosophical readings--it might help you to know that people have been thinking about this stuff for a while. check out victor frankl's "man's search for meaning."
i do not mean to offend you. but this is just so typical of so many people today; blaming everyone but themselves for their problems.
The more I read, the more I think cardman hit the nail on the head and pounded it in the board! I agree with everything he said and then some.
Marcius, you may have to really, really look at yourself, after dumping this poor guy. What kind of person are you? You won't be able to tell us, because it'll either be wonderful, or you'll say your imperfect and in the same sentence tear your guy down....I'm putting up with that shit in MY life - "I'm not perfect, BUT...(then they proceed to descibe how better than everyone else, or a particular person, they are, for 40 damn minutes)"
You may be a controlling person who wants to box her guy in, and will always find some excuse to rip him, while igoring your own flaws. Like when the man has an affair, he's a disgusting, sinful pig, but when the woman has one, she's "Just looking for love....." And again, you won't know if you are a controlling person, it'll take someone outside of yourself. Every controlling person I know, and dear GOD I know some! have a thousand reasons or excuses to defend themselves. But their significant other is miserable....BUT the controlling person will say "NO, he or she is TOTALLY satisfied with life.." on and on and on. This crap can go in circles on top of circles.
If I was dating, or married to a girl who wanted to fully immerse her self here, I'd be in hog heaven! I'd obviously ask her to just have sex with me, and I, on the other hand, would just have sex with here, since there's two sides to every relationship....and then I'd pay for her internet!!
Because if I don't box her in, she doesn't become frustrated and angry and bitter and resentful, and doesn't do it behind my back and hide things. Which builds into more and more resentment, until she either leaves pissed off, or does have an affair. On the other hand, I give her freedom, and I enjoy wild, joyful sex and tickling with her, because she is free to love me and is not hiding any bitterness and resentment. Free people are happy people.
I'm a spiritual guy, but won't bother arguing religion. That conversation goes in circles upon circles. I just know that Jesus hung around prostitues and *****s and tax collectors (who were like Bernie Maddoff, not your neighborhood tax collector doing his job. They skimmed the pot.) and lepers and ......we say this things, but there's a huge disconnect...NO, REALLY, JESUS HUNG AROUND PROSTITUTES AND *****S AND SINNERS......HE'D BE ATTENDING NEST, DAMMIT!!! If He returned today....YEP, He would be killed again, and probably faster this time, by a raving, foaming-at-the-mouth screaming mob of evangelicals and "righteous" Bible thumpers.
So I hope you do some soul searching and find some answers.....I don't know what else to say, the people in my life who are the controlling types don't do soul searching, they're too busy judging their fellow man, so this is a tough one.