• If you would like to get your account Verified, read this thread
  • Check out Tickling.com - the most innovative tickling site of the year.
  • The TMF is sponsored by Clips4sale - By supporting them, you're supporting us.
  • >>> If you cannot get into your account email me at [email protected] <<<
    Don't forget to include your username

Friday night nyuks (2-28-20).

Low_Roads

1st Level White Feather
Joined
Nov 16, 2004
Messages
9,000
Points
48
Springtime makes me feel like a little kid again! Before I've even gotten out of my front yard, I've wet my plants!

* * *​

"Stumble, Forest, stumble!": line from the motion picture "Forest Gimp".

* * *​

My puppy was so sick, I had to carry it all the way to the pet hospital. Fortunately, once I was inside the examining room, I was able to put it down.

* * *​

Remember the Burn Your Bra movement in the '60s? It wasn't around long... must have been lack of support.

* * *​

My ex-girlfriend was shaped like a cantaloupe and had a face like a dog. I called her my melon/collie baby.

* * *​

My new girlfriend, on the other hand, has a lot in common with turtles... whenever she ends up on her back, she's screwed.

* * *​

Never be a'feared o' snakes. They're completely 'armless.

* * *​

I always hear the sound of music when I pin on my old Medal of Honor, and why not! It's war-bling!

* * *​

Amy Klobucahr frets more over smut than she does guns. She's always thinking about dick in the deer stand.

* * *​

I give my girlfriend dark chocolate for Valentine's Day every year. She finds the holiday bittersweet.

* * *​

Men are a lot like floor tiles: you can walk all over them as long as you lay them properly.

* * *​

I haven't seen "Avengers Endgame" yet, but I think it's about time.

* * *​

The well known Tyrannosaurus rex goes by a variety of names: Tyrannosaur, T-rex, Rexy, Tyrant Lizard, Tyrant King, etc. This brute is so popular, he might be the saurus.

* * *​

My dad left home when I was very young and my mom bragged she could be both a mother and father to me. If you ask me, she made a terrible faux pa.

* * *​

Hitler came to power in Germany, but he'd rather have done it in his home country of Austria. He always thought of it as his birth Reich.

* * *​

My dad died a hero during 911. He was one of the finest pilots al-Qaeda ever had!

* * *​

Playstation plans to adapt Rocket Raccoon into a new PS4 game. They'll be calling it "The Adventures of Trash Pandicoot".

* * *​

My mom called the cops one day when she caught my brother and me misbehaved. They arrived to find me licking batteries and him reading porn. I was charged, but my brother got off.

* * *​

It's a rule in the theater: always leave them wanting more. That is, of course, unless it's an operating theater and you're an anesthetist.

* * *​

I have the memory of an elephant; I distinctly recall seeing one at the zoo when I was a kid.

* * *​

Some smart-ass called last night to ask if my refrigerator was running. Well, I checked and it must have been... the milk in the carton had turned to butter.

* * *​

My son and I were watching a movie last night when an erotic scene started.

"Boy," I said, "it's time for you to go to bed."

"What for?" he countered. "Dad, I'm 20 years old!"

"I don't care how old you are!" I snapped back. "I still don't want you to watch me jerk off!"
 
LOL 😛
Great collection, as usual.
My favorite:
Men are a lot like floor tiles: you can walk all over them as long as you lay them properly.
 
God, ain't it the truth! I'm properly shamefaced! Thanks for the brutal favorites choice this week, Milagros!
 
What's New

2/18/2025
See Spam on the forum? We appreciate when you report it. Use the report button on the posts lower left. Thanks!
Door 44
Live Camgirls!
Live Camgirls
Streaming Videos
Pic of the Week
Pic of the Week
Congratulations to
*** brad1701 ***
The winner of our weekly Trivia, held every Sunday night at 11PM EST in our Chat Room
Back
Top