Fustration

[Rabbit Hole]

Man, there are just some days where this whole thing gets me so frustrated and lonely. I just can't seem to find a girl that I can share this with. Sorry for my vent.

 

[duderino84]

My recommendation: don't bring it up to any date unless she has real interest in you, and then start TINY.

Hell, my last relationship I saw "warm bodies" with the would be girlfriend and then we talked a good two/three hours in an Arby's talking, me tickling her palms/wrists til she let me explore her more...

My point? It's a silly fetish to have so let yourself be a silly person.

 

[The Tickle Room]

Ya it depends if a girl really likes me I slide it into the equation but its never been a problem. My Fiance now loves it and now has a foot/tickle fetish because of me. I have been in your shoes trust me its really easy just bring it up slowlyyyyy.

 

[ArchNemesis]

I just pay for it. No dating or relationship bullshit to deal with.

 

[Morning Lorie]

Are you able to date women at all? If you are, then just be yourself. But I say that with a caveat. Don't throw all your desires out there on the first or even third date. Wait and see if there's chemistry. If there is, then introduce the idea. Whatever you do, don't blurt out, "I have a fetish!" Just tickle her a little and see how she reacts.

 

[Darth Sidious]

People here seem to have given you some really good advice, so I won't play repeater here. Instead, I'll simply say focus more on seeing if there is chemistry or not with the person first... there are plenty of subtle, simple ways to find out if shes ticklish enough for you or not in between. If you came out with this too early, you may in fact scare a quality girl away . Just my two cents.

 

[chicago]

I don't see the point in waiting until there's "chemistry." There's gotta be some type of chemistry to want to go on a date with a chick at all I imagine. I'd say throw it on the table within the first few dates and see what happens. At least if the reaction is negative, you haven't gone through the bullshit of catching feelings for a chick you won't feel satisfied with.

Also, remember rejection happens to everyone and it's not that big of a deal. On to the next one.

 

[Tickleslave83]

I can relate as a 30 year old socially awkward virgin who has never dated. It's hard to find people when you have a fetish and bad social skills besides. BUt if they don't share the fetish there will probably never be any chemistry.

 

[Rabbit Hole]

Well lets say I did meet a girl and we have chemistry. We get pretty close and I told her about my fetish and cause she cares about me she even lets me tie her down and tickle her. I feel like all I would be doing was getting off on it by myself as opposed to finding somebody else who has this thing, where we both could love it together and it would be extremely sexual for both of us at the same time which in my eyes, would be a connection not many other people can share. I don't know it just feels like it would be "uh yea sure I guess you can tickle me if that makes you happy". I would rather it be like "OH MY GOD I love it when you tickle me" and I loved it too.

Thanks for the support by the way you can't really talk about this stuff with any other group of people that would understand you.

 

[MrPeanut]

I can relate to TS. I wish I didn't have this stupid fetish.

 

[ArchNemesis]

I'll admit it: I do get "fustrated" a lot.

 

[chicago]

Well lets say I did meet a girl and we have chemistry. We get pretty close and I told her about my fetish and cause she cares about me she even lets me tie her down and tickle her. I feel like all I would be doing was getting off on it by myself as opposed to finding somebody else who has this thing, where we both could love it together and it would be extremely sexual for both of us at the same time which in my eyes, would be a connection not many other people can share. I don't know it just feels like it would be "uh yea sure I guess you can tickle me if that makes you happy". I would rather it be like "OH MY GOD I love it when you tickle me" and I loved it too.

Thanks for the support by the way you can't really talk about this stuff with any other group of people that would understand you.

Relationships are about compromise. You will probably never find someone that enjoys everything you enjoy the same way you enjoy it. You do things your S/O likes because you enjoy making them happy and in exchange they do things for you that makes you happy. So I wouldn't feel too bad if you found someone willing to indulge your fetish, but wasn't into it on the same level as you. A lot of people on here go their whole lives without physically acting out their kink and that's sad. To find someone that likes you enough to do to what you like is a positive thing.

That said, many people have made friends, dated, had long term relationships and even gotten married from this site. I am one of those people, but you know how long I was a member here before I started seeing the rhino? Like a decade. And we had to do the long distance thing for about a year like many others in relationships here.

“Nothing in the world is worth having or worth doing unless it means effort, pain, difficulty… I have never in my life envied a human being who led an easy life. I have envied a great many people who led difficult lives and led them well.” -Teddy Roosevelt

One thing I've learned over the past handful of years is that shit is only as complicated as you make it. Don't overthink things. That just creates problems where there isn't one. You're only 22 and you've only been a member for a few months. Relax. Take it easy. Learn you way around the forum. Maybe hit up a gathering if you feel ready to. It's a great way to meet people in the community within a social setting versus the pressure of a one on one meetup (which 9 times out of 10 does not seem to go well based on my own experiences and reading others on here). UNY is up in Albany, NY in February and it's a great one.

 

[MrPeanut]

Relationships are about compromise. You will probably never find someone that enjoys everything you enjoy the same way you enjoy it. You do things your S/O likes because you enjoy making them happy and in exchange they do things for you that makes you happy. So I wouldn't feel too bad if you found someone willing to indulge your fetish, but wasn't into it on the same level as you. A lot of people on here go their whole lives without physically acting out their kink and that's sad. To find someone that likes you enough to do to what you like is a positive thing.

That said, many people have made friends, dated, had long term relationships and even gotten married from this site. I am one of those people, but you know how long I was a member here before I started seeing the rhino? Like a decade. And we had to do the long distance thing for about a year like many others in relationships here.

“Nothing in the world is worth having or worth doing unless it means effort, pain, difficulty… I have never in my life envied a human being who led an easy life. I have envied a great many people who led difficult lives and led them well.” -Teddy Roosevelt

One thing I've learned over the past handful of years is that shit is only as complicated as you make it. Don't overthink things. That just creates problems where there isn't one. You're only 22 and you've only been a member for a few months. Relax. Take it easy. Learn you way around the forum. Maybe hit up a gathering if you feel ready to. It's a great way to meet people in the community within a social setting versus the pressure of a one on one meetup (which 9 times out of 10 does not seem to go well based on my own experiences and reading others on here). UNY is up in Albany, NY in February and it's a great one.

You're only 26, and you're a girl, which is a tremendous advantage. You can't relate to us men who are 30+ or 40+ or older, who have never, and have given up on ever having, a relationship with an indulging S/O. I'm happy for you, but don't compare yourself to us.
BTW the Roosevelt quote is a good one

 

[Rabbit Hole]

That's great advise haha And Im happy about any Teddy Roosevelt quote! There is just something inside my psychology that needs for this to happen someday with somebody like me. I know it's highly unlikely to find somebody on here but if i can get it out of my system I can at least have done something I've been wishing for since I was like 13... I shouldn't make not having a tickle fetish a deal breaker or anything cause then I could be alone for a very very long time. Idk meeting somebody with it is really wishful thinking that has just made me frustrated for well since this while thing started haha. It's basically a monster in my closet.

 

[Rabbit Hole]

You're only 26, and you're a girl, which is a tremendous advantage. You can't relate to us men who are 30+ or 40+ or older, who have never, and have given up on ever having, a relationship with an indulging S/O. I'm happy for you, but don't compare yourself to us.
BTW the Roosevelt quote is a good one

Yes and being a guy on here is impossible!!! Cause girls either think your being creepy or have 30 guys that jump on the opportunity before you. And the ratio gives you worse odds than the hunger games.

 

[chicago]

You're only 26, and you're a girl, which is a tremendous advantage. You can't relate to us men who are 30+ or 40+ or older, who have never, and have given up on ever having, a relationship with an indulging S/O. I'm happy for you, but don't compare yourself to us.
BTW the Roosevelt quote is a good one

Put yourself out there, meet people, don't wait until feelings have been developed to tell someone what you're into. Don't settle for close minded people. Go to gatherings. Don't be ashamed, as that comes across and creates a negative environment in which to tell a person you like about your kink. Avoid the word fetish.

Yeah, I'm young and female, but to say it was easy to get to a place where I feel satisfied in terms of the whole tickling thing, can still communicate with and visit my friends in the community, and have an awesome relationship, would be a lie. Again, nothing worthwhile is easy. You need to work hard to get what you want out of life and this is no different.

Giving up will definitely not get you a damn thing. Since giving up isn't really a habit of mine and I'm not ashamed of my fetish, I surely couldn't compare myself to those already decided that for some reason they don't deserve to find happiness.

There are guys on this forum that are 30, 40, even older and are able to indulge their fetish one way or another, whether it's by being open about it and dating around or finding someone from this site or settling down with someone they opened up to the world of tickling. How is it that they were able to achieve this, but not y'all?

Most likely because they gave zero fucks about what other people thought about them, they didn't obsess over the evil outside world somehow *gasp* FINDING OUT AND OMG EVERYONES GONNA KNOW AND THINK I"M A SEXUAL PREDATOR. blahblahblah. And they probably had a positive outlook about shit. Just my .o2

 

[MrPeanut]

Put yourself out there, meet people, don't wait until feelings have been developed to tell someone what you're into. Don't settle for close minded people. Go to gatherings. Don't be ashamed, as that comes across and creates a negative environment in which to tell a person you like about your kink. Avoid the word fetish.

Yeah, I'm young and female, but to say it was easy to get to a place where I feel satisfied in terms of the whole tickling thing, can still communicate with and visit my friends in the community, and have an awesome relationship, would be a lie. Again, nothing worthwhile is easy. You need to work hard to get what you want out of life and this is no different.

Giving up will definitely not get you a damn thing. Since giving up isn't my thing and I'm not ashamed of my fetish, I surely couldn't compare myself to those already decided that for some reason they don't deserve to find happiness.

There are guys on this forum that are 30, 40, even older and are able to indulge their fetish one way or another, whether it's by being open about it and dating around or finding someone from this site or settling down with someone they opened up to the world of tickling. How is it that they were able to achieve this, but not y'all?

Most likely because they gave zero fucks about what other people thought about them, they didn't obsess over the evil outside world somehow *gasp* FINDING OUT AND OMG EVERYONES GONNA KNOW AND THINK I"M A SEXUAL PREDATOR. blahblahblah. And they probably had a positive outlook about shit. Just my .o2

Gatherings are a mostly US thing. I'm in Europe. There are no gatherings here, save for some in the UK. I don't have the money to go to a different country just to attend a gathering where no one speaks my language. Also, the whole 'getting out there' thing is something that is massively easier said than done, especially for someone who is as painfully shy as I am. Don't judge.

 

[chicago]

Gatherings are a mostly US thing. I'm in Europe. There are no gatherings here, save for some in the UK. I don't have the money to go to a different country just to attend a gathering where no one speaks my language. Also, the whole 'getting out there' thing is something that is massively easier said than done, especially for someone who is as painfully shy as I am. Don't judge.

A lot of shit is easier said than done. Fear ain't gonna make it easier for you.

And you can fix the painfully shy thing if you feel it's an issue - affecting your life in negative ways. The more you put yourself out there, the less terrifying it is. Everyone gets rejected and everyone fucks up, but I guess some people find it easier to let fear run their lives and whine about shit versus getting back up and trying again.

 

[MrPeanut]

A lot of shit is easier said than done. Fear ain't gonna make it easier for you.

And you can fix the painfully shy thing if you feel it's an issue - affecting your life in negative ways. The more you put yourself out there, the less terrifying it is. Everyone gets rejected and everyone fucks up, but I guess some people find it easier to let fear run their lives and whine about shit versus getting back up and trying again.

The only thing your comment proves is that mental afflictions are still not taken as seriously as physical afflictions. Do you tell diabetics that their inability to control their insulin level is 'just a mindset'? I don't think so.

 

[chicago]

The only thing your comment proves is that mental afflictions are still not taken as seriously as physical afflictions. Do you tell diabetics that their inability to control their insulin level is 'just a mindset'? I don't think so.

No, but I would tell them to see a doctor to get help, just like if someone's shyness kept them from being happy I would tell them to see a shrink.

 

[MrPeanut]

No, but I would tell them to see a doctor to get help, just like if someone's shyness kept them from being happy I would tell them to see a shrink.

You Americans think everything is solvable; and if it isn't, it's our own fault; well screw you, I've been to several shrinks the past 20 years and it's not for me, they can't help me and I'm not going to apologize for it.

 

[chicago]

You Americans think everything is solvable; and if it isn't, it's our own fault; well screw you, I've been to several shrinks the past 20 years and it's not for me, they can't help me and I'm not going to apologize for it.

I didn't say everything was solvable. I don't think peace in the middle east is possible, for instance. But I do think an unhappy person can be happy if they change their outlook about things.

And we're just sharing our opinions here. No need to get so emotional about it. Clearly, you see no way out of whatever situation you're in that is causing you to be unhappy, but I don't understand why my opinion (that you can indeed be happy) is so upsetting.

 

[Rabbit Hole]

I hope you can find somebody too Mr. Peanut. I'm sure this forum represents a small pool of people that have this. Even sadomasicists I think could love tickling cause tickling is mainly a Dominance thing if I'm not not mistaken. It's more of a kink to that and there are a lot of people that enjoy sadomasicism and what not. That is at least the little hope I have.

 

[Rabbit Hole]

Wow so I did spell "frustration" wrong. Hahahaha.

 

[drnkntklr]

Mr. Peanut, while I cannot say that I understand 100% how you are feeling, I can tell you that I too have at times felt frustrated when it comes to meeting people. With that said, I had the chance to go to a gathering earlier this year and it gave me a chance to venture outside of my comfort zone. I'd be lying if I told you I met the woman of my dreams or anything like that, but I did meet a lot of very nice people and found out that sometimes it's good to push ourselves into doing something we would not normally do. With that said, I'm not trying to diminish how you feel, I just wanted to share my story, because it truly changed my outlook on things.