Gay Problem: Did I do the right thing? (DISCUSS)

[jonsmith]

So, this evening, I was waiting in the train station, reading a Men's Fitness Magazine, and a man walked up to me. He asked me the time, and I gave an estimate, as I don't carry a watch.

The man was about fifty years old or so. Very well kept in form and in dress. Nothing like the hooligans in the

He then asked me for my number, so that we could meet up. I almost didn't hear him, because I'm actually partially deaf in one ear. Now, this is how the conversation went.

"Hey, what's you number so we can meet up, you and me?"
"What?" I asked unphased as I glanced at him.
"What's your number? So we can meet up."
"Ah...is this a homosexual encounter?" I asked calmly. After all, this didn't bother me at all.
"What?" He asked as he didn't hear me the first time.
"Is this a homosexual encounter?" I repeated.
"Yeah."
"I'm not a homosexual."

He then grabbed my hand softly and began to stroke the space between my thumb and my forefinger ever so softly. "Come on, it can be our little secret."
Still not phased, I denied him again, "I'm not a homosexual."
"But it can be our little secret," he said, almost begging, but not.
"No."
"Well, then the next time I see you, maybe you'll have changed your mind..." He said as he gently freed my hand and began to walk away.
"No," I said, he stopped and turned, "I'll not have changed my mind sir, however, if we do meet again, I won't see you any differently than an equal human being." He nodded, pleased that I wasn't going to bust him out, and left.

I think I handled this wonderfully if you ask me. I never raised my voice or spoke terribly to him, nor did I grow violent. And I left him with the knowledge that, even though he was a homosexual, it did not mean that I would change how I looked at him. I wouldn't think of him as less, simply because he was a homosexual.

And I meant it.

So, from hetero- people and homo- people alike, do you think I did this right?

 

[Master Baiter]

Jesus Christ, what's the point in posting this?
You want a gold medal for treating a queer man who was coming onto you with respect?
Apparently.
I can see no other purpose, other than having your ego stroked.
You handled it wonderfully ... just like you said.

 

[AmandaBear]

You handled it beautifully. From what I understand, the man was sexually harassing you and you have every right to decline and get away from the situation regardless of the gender of the person involved. You didn't even have to be so polite, IMO. If he was making you uncomfortable, shove him off. But I do commend you for not doing so since most people would've gone to the other extreme and flat-out yell at the guy. 🙂

 

[jonsmith]

Jesus Christ, what's the point in posting this?
You want a gold medal for treating a queer man who was coming onto you with respect?
Apparently.
I can see no other purpose, other than having your ego stroked.
You handled it wonderfully ... just like you said.

Me? No. I already stroke my ego to orgasm But, I wanted to see what other people thought of it. And possibly plant the idea in their head, "Don't punch him in the mouth, don't punch him in the mouth,"

Because I'm happy.

 

[Fire_Sprite]

"I'll not have changed my mind sir, however, if we do meet again, I won't see you any differently than an equal human being."

I can see where the doubt comes from, that line seems especially cheesy.

 

[falcon]

you did well. a good mix of "i respect what you do but it's not for me." very well done, sir! 🙂

 

[TonyInMyThroat]

Yes, well done indeed.

If I had your abilities, I would have turned him into a large carp and left him flopping on the platform gasping for air.

It just goes to show some of us aren’t messiah material.

 

[mass1926]

I've had worse encounters. In florida a few years ago I was at a bar with some friends and a gay guy told me that he couldn't take his eyes off me. After proceeding to walk onto the dance floor i turned around to find him dancing his way up upon my backside. I could've been an asshole and flipped out on him, but rather than making things worse than they already were I just walked away.

 

[rhiannon]

Seriously....I think you were even too respectful, especially after he ignored your first statement that you are not gay!

 

[LD_Tickler]

If any stranger touched me for whatever reason, I'd shove them right the hell off. I think you let him get away with too much.

 

[sasaxrah]

Jesus Christ, what's the point in posting this?
You want a gold medal for treating a queer man who was coming onto you with respect?
Apparently.
I can see no other purpose, other than having your ego stroked.
You handled it wonderfully ... just like you said.

My thoughts exactly. How else should you have handled it?

 

[Mitchell]

As far as I'm concerned, you were probably too calm. My rule is that if anyone says no the first time, that means no. Had someone done that to me, I would have said something like "While I respect your lifestyle, I'm not gay, so please, find someone who shares your lifestyle interests to come on to". Had he persisted, and started stroking me, I would have said "I already told you no, now please leave me alone, or you'll be forcing me into calling the cops for harassment" .

Sorry to hear this happened to you. You were probably too patient, as I see it.

Mitch

 

[Coup de Grace]

You're a better man than me. If some stranger touched me, my first instinctive reaction would have been to bust him in the mouth. I have a thing about people, particularly strangers invading my 3 feet of personal space.

 

[unclebill]

I think you handled it wonderfully, but I would expect no different from you, Jesus Christ. um... I was wondering......I know its Friday and its Lent, but if I were to say a few "Our Father`s" and throw in a couple "Hail Mary`s" would you look the other way if I were to have a pepperoni pizza this evening??

 

[Adam]

You handled it better than I think most would have. I would have remained calm and polite at first, but as soon as he grabbed my hand, at the very least I'm giving him an aggressive shove. He'd be lucky if I didn't swing at him. Conversation is one thing, but do not put a hand on me.

 

[Angel77]

You handled it beautifully. From what I understand, the man was sexually harassing you and you have every right to decline and get away from the situation regardless of the gender of the person involved. You didn't even have to be so polite, IMO. If he was making you uncomfortable, shove him off. But I do commend you for not doing so since most people would've gone to the other extreme and flat-out yell at the guy. 🙂

This. He did seem kind of pushy but pushy can come in the forms of both homosexual and heterosexual folks, right?

I thought you handled it well. You got your point across without causing a huge scene. No need to go off on someone unless he was being crazy pushy, which I don't think he was. He just seemed a little annoying and hey, I'm sure most of us have had our shares of annoying folks trying to come onto us. 🙂

 

[Knox The Hatter]

You have a great level of maturity.

I remember two instances when men made passes at me. The first time was when I was in the service. This washout who was about to be kicked out got drunk one night, and came over to my bunk after taps, and decided to hang out, talk, ask stupid questions. He took his index finger, and ran it up the back of my neck. I was so shocked, I didn't do anything, just stared. He got up, looked searchingly in my eyes, and walked off. Later on, a couple of weeks later, I got into a fistfight with him (he was an asshole, through and through, for the most part). Oh, well.

The second time occured like twelve years later. At my job, I was in the bathroom, draining the transfer system, when some guy from another department came over to use the next urinal. He said hello to me, and put his hand on my shoulder. You know, if you even begin talking to me when you're at the next urinal, you're annoying. I then gave him the look of death. Later on, he apologized, profusely, the message being, I'm sorry, I think I knocked on the wrong door. He was a genuinely nice guy, and I think he was very grateful I didn't make a fuss about it.

Sensitivity trainer, of course. Having a pass made at you isn't a nice experience. What I noticed, though, was that the biggest sexual harrassers also turned out to be the biggest homophobes. I think it makes sense...

 

[SlaverTickler]

He then grabbed my hand softly and began to stroke the space between my thumb and my forefinger ever so softly. "Come on, it can be our little secret."
Still not phased, I denied him again, "I'm not a homosexual."
"But it can be our little secret," he said, almost begging, but not.
"No."

I feel you made your mistake right about here. He came on to you, you turned him down, and then he put his hands on you and pressed the issue. Right about now I would have punched him in the face and told him to fuck off. I'm not saying it's the better way, you probably handled it the smarter way, I'm just saying he went from being a Homosexual to a buggering ****** when he didn't take no for an answer.

 

[SlaverTickler]

Sensitivity trainer, of course. Having a pass made at you isn't a nice experience. What I noticed, though, was that the biggest sexual harrassers also turned out to be the biggest homophobes. I think it makes sense...

The bigger the homophobe the more likely they are a homosexual.

 

[Skipadeedoodah]

Do you want a prize because you treated someone with respect after finding out he was *gasp* a homosexual? Would you have written this same thing if a woman you weren't interested in came on too strong?

Give me a break.

 

[jonsmith]

Do you want a prize because you treated someone with respect after finding out he was *gasp* a homosexual? Would you have written this same thing if a woman you weren't interested in came on too strong?

Give me a break.

I think you, and a few others missed intended point. I think I let him off too easy.

I am not trying to get a prize for treating a homosexual with "respect". And yes, actually, I would have gone and posted this if a woman came on too strong. In my high school years, I'd have gotten someone expelled for doing that, and I did a lot of that in my 11th-12th grade years. 😛

However, no. I'm not looking for gratitude. Just wanted to know what you users thought of the whole shebang.

The only reason I used the capitalized heading, "GAY PROBLEM" was becasue I'd get more people to reply. And I did.

Mission Accomplished.

I am happeh!

 

[SlaverTickler]

Do you want a prize because you treated someone with respect after finding out he was *gasp* a homosexual? Would you have written this same thing if a woman you weren't interested in came on too strong?

Give me a break.

Probably not, considering most women aren't likely to try and fuck a guy in the ass. I know this is probably hard for you to believe but under the right circumstances, with the wrong person, some gay men will force themselves on another man just like some straight men do with women. What he deserve a prize for is the fact that he didn't drive his forehead into the bastard nose when he wouldn't take no for an answer.

 

[LD_Tickler]

Probably not, considering most women aren't likely to try and fuck a guy in the ass. I know this is probably hard for you to believe but under the right circumstances, with the wrong person, some gay men will force themselves on another man just like some straight men do with women. What he deserve a prize for is the fact that he didn't drive his forehead into the bastard nose when he wouldn't take no for an answer.

This might be a legitimate comment if the man weren't elderly. He was no more threatening, by virtue of being a rape-capable male, than a woman. He was a frail old man.

 

[Mister Scruff]

If you didn't punch him it means you're gay.

 

[Lord Doctor]

A thump is always the last resort...
You handled it the right way...

But the situation seems a little unusual to start with. Have you anything missing? It sounds to me more like a pick-pocket's distraction method, albeit an extreme one.