Giving up.

[FLBowler]

I see many people saying they are going to give up on searching for someone to be with, or tickle, or be tickled. Or even just give up with anything else. I was hoping in the aspect of the tickling world, we start a "guide" to help those in need of direction to have a little insight.

Firstly, we can all agree the best way to have an enjoyable experience to be safe and get to know the fellow members on TMF.

 

[milagros317]

The best way to meet your fellow TMF members in a safe environment (and maybe have some fun) is to attend a gathering.

 

[RUNOFFSTAGE]

First off I'd like to say that the expectations get hyped up pretty easily. Some people wouldn't feel comfortable with indulging in tickling with a stranger, they need time to get to know the person a bit better (at least that's how it goes for me). Talking about sessions online doesn't automatically mean that both people would actually be comfortable with it if/when they meet up.
Lower the expectations a bit, get to know people with the same interest as you and get into it with an open mindset, aim for friendship and not some magical relationship with tickling involved. That makes the whole situation a whole lot more relaxed and less awkward.
I for one met my boyfriend/'ler where I least expected it and know for a fact that it's never hopeless. Don't give up, just look at it in a different way and try not to rush or force anything, chances are you'll find one or more people to share your interest with eventually!

 

[LD_Tickler]

Ahh come on, you hear this stuff all the time. Some frustrated sap will throw his hands in the air and say "that's it, I'm giving up on dating/men/women/trying to be a good person/etc." It's just frustrated people venting during a moment of self pity. Nothing to dwell on.

 

[PhoenixRising]

Wow. This topic was the lunchtime conversation at work today. The general consensus was that we shouldn't give up. At the same time, there's nothing wrong with keeping a good supply of batteries.

 

[midnightlord619]

I think some just try too hard to find someone. It's nice that all of us share a common interest and all, but that can't just be the base for any friendship (or relationship). there's more to everyone here than ticklishness and giggles. I felt the same way at one point or another, but i've learned to keep my head up high and enjoy the fun of making new friends and MAYBE you'll run across that person c:

ps: i really want to go to a gathering, but i lack the $ and/transportation to go :/ doesn't help that i get really nervous just thinking about it too cause i'm really shy in big groups to begin with

 

[3xPIN]

I like giving up! I do it all the time.

Besides, not caring is when the people think you are confident. The world is weird.

 

[BellybTickler]

Ray, funniest thing I've seen all day!

 

[Sunriseticklee]

Actually, I kind of gave up a bit and said I wasn't gonna date anymore. And then BLAM.... Love kicked me right in the ass.

Gatherings and munches are a lot of fun, but I live in the state with the shyest people in America, so it's like pulling teeth to get everyone together.

 

[Leo tickles]

Their lack of confidence is not my problem. Go to a gathering or a munch or don't. If not, don't come here and say you can't meet anybody.

 

[Marquis De Sade]

1. Date.
2. Date more.
3. Take girl or guy home or be invited to theirs.
4. Sexy time? No. Tickle and foreplay first without making it a huge deal. Then sexy time.
5. Ta-da. Tickle partner.

Repeat steps until 5 is complete.

 

[rhiannon]

Best technique actually is to quit searching. People who search often give off the foul odour of desparation. Just don't look for a relationship, and people are lining up to get together with you. Worked every time for me!

 

[scorpionldr]

The best way to meet your fellow TMF members in a safe environment (and maybe have some fun) is to attend a gathering.

Some people do not have that luxury. And some people, the "vanilla" type we keep labeling them, don't have any forum to influence their dating decisions.

 

[SadCuzNotTcklsh]

I've giving up a long while ago. I've given up on never knowing what being ticklish is like. I've given up trying to get it back, or asking people to describe what it is like, but I'll have to wait for my next life to experience what being ticklish is truly like...

 

[GQguy]

Best technique actually is to quit searching. People who search often give off the foul odour of desparation. Just don't look for a relationship

^^^^This^^^^

The later part about people lining up to be with you doesn't work so much for guys. Guys need to get out there and meet people. Surround yourself with like minded people both male and female. Get out of the house as much as possible! If you're on the computer a lot take it to Starbucks instead. If you're a gamer, try and game with other people. Go to the gym with all of the young singles. Go to the grocery store with all of the young singles. If you're a science student like I was take an easy general education class where you can meet people. I took a dance class. Constantly create opportunities to meet new people. As your social circle grows so will your chances of meeting someone cool. But more importantly...the quality of your life will increase.

A man that loves his life and can do without a woman is irresistible to women.....regardless of what women may say. Your tickle fetish will become one more way for women to keep your interest if you are irresistible to women. Knowing that a social guy has his kinks yet has no hangups about finding another girl to satisfy said kinks makes those kinks not so kinky ;o)

So YES...give up on finding someone. Instead start finding someones. Attend those munches. Join activity groups. Join a local intramural league. Networking will get you paid...but it will also get you laid.

And always always always....be on the path of self improvement. Don't stop. It's good for you...and it's sexy.

GQ

 

[Phineas]

Best technique actually is to quit searching. People who search often give off the foul odour of desparation. Just don't look for a relationship, and people are lining up to get together with you. Worked every time for me!

No offense, rhi, but that only works for women... because men are expected to do the approaching. If a man stopped looking, he'd stop getting, because women as a general rule don't initiate.

 

[socktickler86]

To be honest, looking for someone on this site and a site like this is a joke. Let's get real with all the prerequisites you must go through to actually find a girl for a tickling session or what not.

1) They must live where you live (or if you're desperate enough you can skip this step and fly... but then why not just hire someone?)
2) They must be single (well, there's a slim slim chance people that are taken are open for this)
3) Any decent gal will probably be getting 10 messages a day and you somehow have to figure out a way to stand out
4) They must be willing to actually meet up with someone from the interwebs!
5) They can't be the type of girl or woman who believes all men online are rapists and won't even give you their name unless they've known you a month (very common)

Want a vastly better way to do this? Check out a site like okcupid.com. Every single one of these pre-reqs no longer apply since the whole point of being on a site such as that is that they want to meet people. The third point still kind of applies, but in a different way I don't feel necessary to detail. Now, you might say "Hey, idiot, okcupid isn't a tickle lovers forum! double you tee eff mate?". Well, think of the probabilities. On a site such as this, all 5 of my points listed are low probability but them being into tickling is a guarantee. Now, on a site like okcupid, all of those points are high probability with them being into tickling being the only low probability issue. Now, it should be fairly clear that 5 low probability + 1 high probability = TMF sadfaces but 5 high probability + 1 low probability = yay happy times!

Of course, you can get by most of those 5 points by, as others have noted, attend gatherings, but almost every person whose opinion I respect has had nothing good to say about them. If one is nearby, I see nothing wrong with going to one, but I'd put my money on a site like okcupid.

Remember, tickling is not some freakishly weird fetish (in the eyes of your average vanilla person) like choking or being cut or whatever. You don't need to hide in a little corner of the internet and hope to find someone.

Best technique actually is to quit searching. People who search often give off the foul odour of desparation. Just don't look for a relationship, and people are lining up to get together with you. Worked every time for me!

Oh I miss disagreeing with you . As Phineas said, this does NOT apply to guys for the most part. In fact, when I was on the site I just mentioned, they had a section for questions that you can answer and you show to people. One question was "if you liked someone, would you ask them out?". I have NEVER seen a girl say 'yes' to that question. Ever. In fact, I've almost had to yell at certain girl friends of mine who liked someone but didn't want to make the first move because "that's not how it works". Of course, the couples were always happy, and it just amazes me at how girls can be in this regard.

 

[Libertine]

.... men are expected to do the approaching. If a man stopped looking, he'd stop getting, because women as a general rule don't initiate.

Not exactly. You just have to refine your 'looking'.

It's very possible that some women ARE attracted to you, and as far as they are concerned making it incredibly obvious (and as far as their watching girlfriends are concerned, making it so obvious that they think she's behaving like a complete slut) , but usually the woman's way of making a pass (the sober woman, at any rate) is to send out Female Signals (to her strong, to him completely invisible) indicating interest in a guy (the 'Unspoken Invitation') which he is then supposed to decode somehow and act upon.

It's sort of like an Indian being able to read a trail while hunting deer. It takes skill. If she's standing a bit closer than normal, playing with her hair a bit more than usual, casually strokes your arm, picks a bit of fluff off your shirt or something- these, among with others that you'll just have to learn, are all indications that you should gently start to move things along.

It's a minefield but you can't 'get' girls in any other way.

A woman will usually forgive a man who presses an opportunity she's extended, but will NEVER forgive a man who misses one.

 

[socktickler86]

It's sort of like an Indian being able to read a trail while hunting deer. It takes skill. If she's standing a bit closer than normal, playing with her hair a bit more than usual, casually strokes your arm, picks a bit of fluff off your shirt or something- these, among with others that you'll just have to learn, are all indications that you should gently start to move things along.

It's a minefield but you can't 'get' girls in any other way.

I hate hate hate when girls do this nonsense. The BIG problem with such signals is that because the signals are so casual and seemingly innocent, you can't differentiate between a girl who is just being nice and a girl who is interested in you. And let's be honest, many of us guys have attempted to pursue girls that, in the end, were only being nice and didn't mean to send signals at all. My ex-best friend use to rub my arm and even clamp on to my arm as we walked to the parking lot and she wasn't single nor ever had any interest in me, that's simply how she acted with me! Hell, a friend of mine back in high school use to casually give guy friends a kiss on the cheek when she was happy just because she was that way. In case you're thinking what you're probably thinking, no, she was a lesbian. Girls need to realize that guys can't read minds and they don't live in a vacuum where no other girl ever interacts with them.

Of course, any girl childish enough to play this "signals" game isn't one a guy should waste his time with.

 

[Libertine]

Girls need to realize that guys can't read minds and they don't live in a vacuum where no other girl ever interacts with them. Of course, any girl childish enough to play this "signals" game isn't one a guy should waste his time with.

By your reasoning sailors should complain about the waves at sea, or boxers about being punched.

None of us likes this sort of female behaviour but for the overwhelming majority of women, it's simply the way they are. I'm afraid your anger is both stupid and futile, but as a parting gift- and it is a gift- I will leave you with one last thought.

Alligators and crocodiles feed by grabbing an animal off the bank, drowning it, then leaving it in a cave under the bank to rot for a week or so before eating it. That's what alligators do. I have no idea why, but it's standard alligator/crocodile behaviour.

Women also do odd things, many of which you have listed in your post above. I have no idea why they behave so oddly, but it's standard female behaviour. (Ladies, if you want to argue, don't. As a rule you don't sleep with heterosexual women. We men do. If you want to learn about gorillas, ask the anthropologist, not the ape. )

Approach female behaviour in the same way you approach alligator behaviour. Accept it, conduct yourself accordingly, and a lot more women will sleep with you.

 

[socktickler86]

Yes, and sailors shouldn't complain about the sea, or boxers about being punched. Enjoy being celibate.

Very mature.

 

[Libertine]

Afraid I hit the wrong button while composing notes to frame a reply. Reply #21 is what I meant. I was in your situation once, and found a way out.

 

[socktickler86]

Afraid I hit the wrong button while composing notes to frame a reply. Reply #21 is what I meant. I was in your situation once, and found a way out.

Did I say I was in any sort of situation? No.

I'm sorry, I'm not measuring success by the number of girls I can trick into sleeping with me (as it sounds like you were) and I don't see girls as animals. I'm sure others with such low standards will benefit from your guidance though.

 

[MrTicklefeet]

Giving up sometimes seems easier if it hasn't been around. A woman friend of mine had said she was going to be celibate since she hasn't had a female partner in a long time. For one, she's not really getting out of the house to mingle and make options possible. So choosing to be celibate makes it sound like it's a choice, rather than being frustrated and watching Susan Sarandon movies.

 

[Marquis De Sade]

Approach female behaviour in the same way you approach alligator behaviour. Accept it, conduct yourself accordingly, and a lot more women will sleep with you.

Or, BE the alligator.