going crazy - my mates girlfriend

[cheeseman1]

ok here's the thing

this girl and i have been friends for a about 3 years now and my mate is now going out with her which is cool but...

ok before they went out her and i came very close to hooking up and even now we still flirt pretty badly.

i already knew she was really badly ticklish when i poked her ribs and stuff you know... the other night i was dropping her home and we were in my car talking... she had a pretty short skirt on and she was complaining about her legs (which is ridiculous they are stunning) she was just trying to tease a bit saying her thighs arent firm enough. so i reached over to check and gave a bit of a tickle and she jumped huge... it reminded me of how ticklish she is.

all i can think of is tying this girl up (in as little as possible) and really finding out how ticklish she can be... i cant ask though caus she is the mates girlfriend now.

 

[german]

You are probably going to get the same response from most people here but friends partners and their family are a no go zones all it does is cause dramas and trouble.

Kust

 

[cheeseman1]

i actually agree with you.

the tension is crazi though.

 

[commander]

Every guy on this forum can tell you a story about a woman they wanted but never spoke to, or hesitated, etc, and years later she will still cross our minds and we think, "If only I had said something....." I still think about a girl from 1986 who obviously wanted me, but I was a little wussy then and said nothing.

Go for it. Tell her.

 

[tulipangel]

If she is your friend and you tell her she will still be your friend after hearing this! And if she is smart, she wont mention it to you friend either way! If she does let you she should hush about it and if she doesnt let you tie her up and tickle her then you have to hope she doesnt get freaked and tell him! Good luck with whatever you do hun! I hope it all works out!

 

[sole seeker]

Long ago I was working with a partner who in a short time became my best friend for life. We routinely stopped by a convenience store for coffee along our route, and we became friends with a cashier working the midnight shift. I really developed the hots for her over a period of a few months. My friend and I were both single, and during that time she went through a divorce.

One night when we stopped for coffee I went into the men's room as soon as we arrived. When I came out, my friend went to the restroom. While he was in there I seized this moment alone to ask her out. Turned out that he asked her out while I was in the restroom!

In course of time they got married. Me and my partner remained best friends, even after we both changed jobs. His wife is a good friend of mine too. She has gorgeous soles, and she's told me she enjoys having them massaged and tickled. I have no first hand knowledge of this.

The thing is, I don't think our friendship could have lasted if I hadn't immediately backed off and got my mind wrapped around the idea that she was a friend, not anyone I should consider sexually. I also had to put up extra boundaries. That's why I don't have first hand knowledge of her soles. Popping a woody while playing with your friend's wife tends to put a dampener on things.

My advice it to prioritize. Do you want to keep your friend, or hit on the girl?

 

[Redmage]

If she is your friend and you tell her she will still be your friend after hearing this! And if she is smart, she wont mention it to you friend either way! If she does let you she should hush about it and if she doesnt let you tie her up and tickle her then you have to hope she doesnt get freaked and tell him!

😱 Bad idea! Baaaaaad idea!

No offense meant, Tulip, but there are SO many ways that could be bad. in fact, the only way that could be good is if she takes it calmly, turns him down, AND never mentions it to her boyfriend. If she takes him up on his offer and doesn't tell her boyfriend then that's a secret waiting to mess things up. If she freaks out then that's obviously all kinds of bad. And if she tells her boyfriend - no matter whether it's calmly or angrily, or whether they do it or not - then he'll know that his buddy asked his girl something like that without telling him.

All I can say is, EEK!

Cheeseman, I think how you want to go at this depends a lot on circumstances.

If tickling is mainly a sexual thing for you, and for her, and if your buddy is monogamous, then just put it out of your mind. I know it's hard, but the alternative is a lot harder. As the song says, don't ask me how I know.

However, if you and your mate and his lady are not monogamous, or if tickling isn't a sexual thing for any of you, then there are ways. Bring your buddy in on it, in that case. Tell him how ticklish she is, and ask if he'd like to help you tag-team her. If he's up for it, THEN you ask her. If he's not, then she never needs to know about it.

If you know in your heart that something like this would go badly, then go back to Option #1. But if it can work then I can't see why it shouldn't.

 

[Cave In]

Dood i'll tell you right now don't get any closer with her i was in exactly the same situation as you, faced the same dilemma and i chose to give it ago with her, i just broke up with her last week after 8 months and its not been pretty her ex, my(former)friend, are now back together again and i've been hung out to dry by both of them. she was nothing but a manipulative head fuck,
So my advice stay friends and have the odd playful tickle here and there. just don't go down the road i did you only get hurt.

 

[Tickle Avenger]

There are lots of fish in the sea, and lots of them fish are ticklish.

 

[kis123]

I would subscribe to the "some things are better left unsaid" theory. If she's seeing someone else, then she's taken. If she's seeing a friend of yours, then she's taken and COMPLETELY off limits. Take a wait-and-see approach and if she becomes single, then pursue. If not, then move on so you don't lose either of their friendship.

Good luck.

 

[AffectionateDan]

Just my $.02

Lots of good advice going on here, but what I keep coming back to is her essentially begging for it. Is it just me? Seems like those were some crystal clear signals she was giving him! Had it been me in that situation in the car, I'd have tested the waters and gone ahead and tickled her. Respecting boundaries, of course, until it became more clear that what I was interpreting as an invitation actually WAS, and proceeded from there. Worst case I can see happening from an approach like this is two friends have a good laugh and that's the end of it. Just as long as while you're testing the waters you don't cross any lines you're not encouraged to. But, hindsight being 20/20, and cherishing the friendship that prevents you from acting on this, if it were me, I'd sit back and wait to see how it develops. Yes, it'll be frustrating, but in the long run, you'll be able to be honest with the both of them, rather than have an ugly situation arise that there's no going back from.

 

[tickleking]

... the other night i was dropping her home and we were in my car talking... she had a pretty short skirt on and she was complaining about her legs (which is ridiculous they are stunning) she was just trying to tease a bit saying her thighs arent firm enough.

This girl has issues. She is dating someone who she knows is your best friend, and is encouraging you too?!! That is a train wreck waiting to happen no matter which way you go. Even if you end up with her, she'll be doing the same thing to you six months down the road.

Regards,

TK

 

[commander]

Soleseeker: One night when we stopped for coffee I went into the men's room as soon as we arrived. When I came out, my friend went to the restroom. While he was in there I seized this moment alone to ask her out. Turned out that he asked her out while I was in the restroom!

In course of time they got married.


This is exactly the point. He waited TWO minutes and lost her forever! When we say that "losing" the friendship is more important than gaining the opportunity, we are saying that we should submerge our desires in life to please other people - that the opinion of others is the guiding factor in our decisions.

Screw your friend. Go after that girl.

 

[cheeseman1]

thanx for the advice its actually been real good.

but yeh i do respect my mate so im not gonna make a serious move on his girl. but yeh there are plenty of others to play with... the thing that gets to me is i know how ticklish this girl is and its just insane. even the slightest touch makes her jump a mile.

 

[Tidas]

I know how you feel man, and it sucks...just bite the bullet on this one unfortunately...

 

[kis123]

This is exactly the point. He waited TWO minutes and lost her forever! When we say that "losing" the friendship is more important than gaining the opportunity, we are saying that we should submerge our desires in life to please other people - that the opinion of others is the guiding factor in our decisions.

Screw your friend. Go after that girl.

There are way too many women out here to end up fighting your good or best friend over one of them. He can get a woman of his own and not pick over his friend's. I do believe in Karma, or what goes around comes around. This is simply bad Karma waiting to happen.............

 

[OBleedingMe]

If her flirting gets any worse, I would be a true friend to your mate and let him know what she's doing. He may not want to hear it, but it's essential that he knows just the sort of woman he is dating. If she's willing to flirt with his BEST FRIEND, then what else is she doing behind his back?? In this world of sexually transmitted diseases, false DV accusations, and laws that give women all the power, us men need to watch out for dishonest women. You should let your friend know what he's getting into before his heart is broken (or worse).

There may be some on here that will tell you to keep your mouth shut, that it's none of your business, but I disagree. A true friend will tell you things you need to hear, even when you don't want to hear it. A true friend will look out for your well being, even at the potential cost of the friendship itself.

As for those who are crowing to "screw your friend," keep in mind that some members of this forum (men and women alike) are quite lonely and have minimal relationship experience. Many of them are likely to leap before thinking at the thought of a potential sexual encounter.

You nail this woman, you'll be nailing yourself and your friend, too. This woman is obviously perverse and in need of psychotherapy. She gets a sexual charge out of breaking up friendships and watching two men fight over her. She likes to be the center of the maelstorm, the one everyone is talking/thinking about. This is probably the main reason she's flirting with you. She wants to see what you're going to do. I know the type - New Jersey is chock FULL of chicks like this. That's why my girl, who also lives in New Jersey, is originally from Virginia.

You're in a tough spot. Luck, cheeseman1.

 

[isabeau]

If her flirting gets any worse, I would be a true friend to your mate and let him know what she's doing. He may not want to hear it, but it's essential that he knows just the sort of woman he is dating. If she's willing to flirt with his BEST FRIEND, then what else is she doing behind his back?? In this world of sexually transmitted diseases, false DV accusations, and laws that give women all the power, us men need to watch out for dishonest women. You should let your friend know what he's getting into before his heart is broken (or worse).

There may be some on here that will tell you to keep your mouth shut, that it's none of your business, but I disagree. A true friend will tell you things you need to hear, even when you don't want to hear it. A true friend will look out for your well being, even at the potential cost of the friendship itself.

You're in a tough spot. Luck, cheeseman1.

i agree with ObleedingMe.. which is unusual.. but if you really cherish this friendship, you will leave her alone. honesty is always best. i once did something behind my husband's back, now i didn't feel guilty because i didn't view it as cheating, however i did tell him eventually.. i always tell him everything.. communication is the key to any relationship.

 

[battlecat]

Friends

I agree with alot of what has already been....telling her you want to tie her up and tickle the hell out of her is a really, really bad idea!!! It's way to heavy a thing to lay on a good girly mate. There is so much you could loose and so little to gain!!!

The way i'd play it is to say nothing....stay friends with both of them but if she flirts with you again and you get the opportunity to tickle her again...do it but do it playfully and make sure she knows that you are just playing!!! That way you can't loose!!

I suppose it depends alot on your own self control really and what you are into.

I have always been a fun, happy sort of bloke so have lots of good 'girl' friends that I have known for years...some since school and they all know about my love of tickling...and as long as you just keep it playful...they love to play along, tease me, and flirt with me....I tickle them, they tickle back!! Some are married and partners to good friends of mine too but as long as you establish boundaries and stick to them... you can all have a lot of fun and all stay friends too!!

If on the other hand you can't tickle a girl without it being sexual.....for god sake leave it alone !!! That really is a train wreck waiting to happen. DON'T GO THERE!!

 

[NG02]

If she is your friend and you tell her she will still be your friend after hearing this! And if she is smart, she wont mention it to you friend either way! If she does let you she should hush about it and if she doesnt let you tie her up and tickle her then you have to hope she doesnt get freaked and tell him! Good luck with whatever you do hun! I hope it all works out!

Damn now why cant more women be like this ^(thats in response to the 2nd part) But in my opinion if you and this girl have been friends for 3 years then she just as much of a friend as your mate, which in my opinion leaves her still open to be tickled. Now Ive tickled many of my female friends b4 and even the one who are dating other friends of mine(some even right infront of their boyfriend). Now im not saying dive right in for the tying down and tickling but I dont think theres nothing wrong with possibly holding her down an tickling the crap out of her, as long as you know where to draw the line(seeing as how tickling can be sexual for some on the forum). And if push comes to shove and you mate is around even try getting him to help you hold her down and tickle her.....Ive seen that go down many-a-times. Well theres my 2cents goodluck. 😛oke3: <-----damn gotta love these