a subject near and dear to my heart, this.
I'm married to someone who isn't one of us. On top of that, she's not interested in indulging me for the sake of keeping me happy. She can't stand to be tickled, won't let me tickle her, and that's that.
When I got married, I knew this; we'd been dating for a long time prior and while I never actually came out and said "I've got a tickle fetish", she suspected that it, along with feet, floated my boat a bit more than usual, and told me she wasn't into it.
This was the single "flaw" in my bride-to-be. I asked myself if it was worth giving up the best woman I'd ever had a relationship with in order to risk finding another woman as perfect and marryable as she was, who would love me as unconditionally. The answer I came to was no, it wouldn't be worth it. I couldn't bear to give her up on such a thin gamble, given how hard it had been for me to get *any* dates, let alone dates with the kind of women I wanted.
So, I proposed. We've been married for *checks watch* going on four years now. I still love her as much now as the day we wed.
However. I told myself that I could "deal"; I mean, it's not like I was swimming in tickle action before I married, so what would be the big deal? My outlet had been the Internet (and later, programming Ticklish Situations) long before, and would just have to continue to be.
The problem is, now I believe that I *cannot* deal. Recently, during a "disagreement", I finally admitted to my wife that I had been struggling with this the entire time we've been together, and that I felt I'd sacrificed a large part of myself in order to be with her. Never mind the fact that I also felt I married too early. She said she had done the same; I'm not exactly her ideal either, but she loves me and is happy to be my wife.
That said, she has also said on several occasions that she didn't mind if I "strayed" in this regard, as long as that's all I did. I don't really believe her; I mean, this is the same woman who offered to get me a prostitute when we were in China (the hookers are unbelievably forward there and will call your hotel room to offer their services) and ordered me to tickle her sister when she smartmouthed me. Part of me wants to believe she's serious, but part of me also knows that despite all her talk, she would be very jealous if I started tickling other women.
Would I be bothered if the shoe was on the other foot? I don't know. I'm very jealous, and don't even like my wife hugging my friends, but I realize that's irrational and don't make my displeasure known. So yes, I would be bothered. But the shoe *isn't* on the other foot. My wife doesn't do (or want to do) anything "weird" to me, and I already do go through sacrifices to make her happy (small ones, but sacrifices nonetheless). On the other hand... she *doesn't*; and I don't make her. If I'm going out with friends, and she doesn't want to, I go without her.
I wouldn't feel comfortable doing anything with/to her that I knew she was only doing to make me happy, and that she wasn't enjoying. So even if she *did* let me tickle her, I couldn't be satisfied because it's not really of her own volition. I love my wife too much to ask her to make any concessions to me, and that includes piddly things like watching ER when I'd rather immerse myself in X-Men: Evolution.
So, I guess to sum up... no, you're not alone, and if there was an easy answer, you wouldn't be posting here asking us for help. The best thing to do, I suppose, is talk to your wife and let her know how you feel, and come to a solution together. It's the best answer I can give, despite not really following it myself. I did tell her that writing the video game was my only outlet, and if I didn't have it I'd go crazy, mainly to shut her up (she's occasionally voiced disapproval on my working on it). Not the best way to handle it, but I guess it had to be put in those terms.
If anyone can offer *me* some sound advice, I'd appreciate that too. heh.
There relationship didn't last. She called me a crazy person and told everyone about my fetish. This really hurt me. She now calls and want to get back. She expect that after the tickling the sex was tthe best she had. It's been 19 years ago. We had one son together. He 19. She said, "If I told in the beginning it would have been ok. I don't believe that. But I should have been true about my feeling. She may not like it but I would have open my heart to her because she my wife. It should last until death. I'm old fashion about that.
