Guys pretending to be girls online

[Adam]

I'd like to get opinions from the guys and the girls on this one, if I may. This is something I was randomly thinking about this morning when I recalled some of my earliest memories of the TMF. My first one on one contact was with someone whom, after some warning signs, I strongly suspected of being a guy masquerading as a young female college student. I never had any definite proof, though, and this person ended up dropping off the face of the Earth before I could delve any deeper. I know there are many here who have run into the same thing over the years.

So, my question for the board is what is it do you think compels a member of my fellow male species to pretend to be a young lady? Is it that they're living out some idealized fantasy, the sole purpose of screwing with trusting people, or another reason entirely? Do you believe it differs in every case or is the root of this bizarre phenomenon always the same? I look forward to reading your thoughts on this. Now, read, post, and be merry!

 

[Neosis]

I do it for moar lulz

 

[BostonTickling]

I remember being a teenager and being completely shocked when "Terri *******" turned out to be a crusty middle aged guy. The funny thing was, he was the assistant principle of my friends high school. I don't think we'll ever know what motivates people to do what they do. But whenever a fetish is involved and people aren't prepared to be honest with themselves about it, lying and deceiving is usually in no short supply.

 

[ViperGTS]

Because, let's face it, women get tons more attention that men, and there are plenty of f/f tickle ladies out there, hence = more cybertickle action for girls. Therefore, guys pretend to be female so they can get their jerk on.

 

[Helena]

I'd like to get opinions from the guys and the girls on this one, if I may. This is something I was randomly thinking about this morning when I recalled some of my earliest memories of the TMF. My first one on one contact was with someone whom, after some warning signs, I strongly suspected of being a guy masquerading as a young female college student. I never had any definite proof, though, and this person ended up dropping off the face of the Earth before I could delve any deeper. I know there are many here who have run into the same thing over the years.

So, my question for the board is what is it do you think compels a member of my fellow male species to pretend to be a young lady? Is it that they're living out some idealized fantasy, the sole purpose of screwing with trusting people, or another reason entirely? Do you believe it differs in every case or is the root of this bizarre phenomenon always the same? I look forward to reading your thoughts on this. Now, read, post, and be merry!

Hi Adam,
I first became a member here in 2001, but I didn't really become an active poster until around 2006. I ventured into the chat room one evening, after a few prior visits, and got accused of being a man.
I'm unclear of the motivations of the users who did this, but it put a strain on the new friendships I was only just starting to build.
The good news is that I was befriended by some excellent people outside the chat, who heard of my problem when I posted about it.
It all worked out in the end. I was just me, and as quick as the accusations flew, they vanished. I avoided the chatroom for a while though.

I can only offer my insight, given to me through my experiences. I would say not to trust anyone too quickly. Take your time to get to know a user on the internet before revealing yourself too quickly. In my case, I was pressured by a group of pushy people to post a "fully clothed pic of myself to prove my identity." When I refused, I was labeled a man, which is now rediculous, but hurt quite a bit at the time.

Trust your instincts. If something seems wrong, it could be, so protect yourself. Tickles to you. I'm not sure if I helped at all.

 

[brianspencer66]

Well said Helena and I do remember well when you encountered that problem and Im so glad it did not hinder the trust that you built up here on this site.

As for the subject at hand I too have come across males pretending to be females or at least suspected they were males. The first sign is a sort of bold aggressive nature or asking all kinds of personal question of ones tickling prefrences all to quickly in a one on one conversation. One young guy pretended to be his own mother!! After about 2 years of this charade he finally came clean and admitted who he really was. But I did let him know I suspected it the whole time and did my best to avoid this party. Another person actually tracked me down on aol and constantly IMed me. Why they want to waste time talking to other guys, that Im not sure. My only guess is they seem to get off asking people questions and living vicariously through the experience of others.

Keep in mind this is not only a trend I see here but I see it on My Space as well as AOL and on Yahoo. For the most part its lonely men of all ages who really want to talk to women and figure pretending to be female is the fastest way to doing so.

 

[Adam]

Hi Helena. It seems you and I have a similar history here on the TMF. I also joined in 2001, similarly not being very active my first few years. I am deeply sorry to read about your chat room experience. I have never actually come out and accused any female of being a male, regardless of whether or not I suspect it. In my eyes, it's just not something you do unless you're absolutely sure. I believe your experience is a big reason why so many female members were slow to join up. In fact, if that kind of thing didn't happen, we'd probably have more ladies posting here on a regular basis. I'm glad you weren't scared away. It's my opinion that you're a very intelligent, insightful contributor. 🙂

Brian, my own thoughts on the matter mirror your own. Actually, it's sort of a mix of yours and Viper's. For the most part, I do believe guys that play the role of a girl are very lonely. I believe they are living vicariously through a fantasy that they feel to be unattainable. Perhaps they have always wished they could chat with a young lady that is as friendly and adventurous that they are when they take on this imaginary role. Since they have been unable to, they switch roles for some sort of odd self gratification. Hope that made sense. In any case, good thoughts from everyone. Keep 'em coming.

 

[chicago]

I think some reasons may be if the guy posing as a female is gay and doesn't feel welcome as an openly gay male on the forum.

Or perhaps they may be a male 'lee and don't feel comfortable with that because there are more female 'lees than female 'lers on the forum.

It all has to do with cybering anyway. Which is why I don't talk to people unless they have posted on the forum more than twice and/or have a picture. Usually I can gather from those things if they are really a guy posing as a female.

 

[Goodieluver]

Because for a guy its the fantasy

If a guy is into females, they can act as a male or female, doesnt matter, as long as there is a female aspect to the scenario, they can get off to it in their minds

 

[maniactickler]

Ive run into this issue more times than i wish to say online over the years. if only i had the answer why.

 

[TklDuo-Ann]

This has gone on since the pre-internet days and will likely always be with us. I think the reasons are many and differ from one guy to the next. Some of the many reasons I've seen/heard of are...

- thinking it will give them a better shot at talking to "other" women
- looking to play with the heads of other guys
- attempting to drum up more activity
- simple trolling
- looking to trap trouble cases in their own lies
- curiosity or psych interest in the dynamics of it
- a shitload of other reasons

I don't think we can place everyone in the same category. The intentions of some are good, or at least simply playful. Others may have...darker interests in mind. I think the important thing is that it points out to us that we can't (and shouldn't try to) take what we read as gospel truth. That's one of the benefits of forming real community and actually getting to know people. Once you start doing that, it's pretty easy to spot the fakes.

 

[Strider]

I agree with AnnieHall that some of them might be gay and just not wanting to be out.

I think others are probably just professional trolls who get amusement out of it for whatever reason.

 

[LD_Tickler]

Because for a guy its the fantasy

If a guy is into females, they can act as a male or female, doesnt matter, as long as there is a female aspect to the scenario, they can get off to it in their minds

I'm pretty sure this is the answer, right here.

If it were some kind of digital transvestite fantasy, surely it wouldn't be as common.

They want a cybertickle fantasy, and its easier to do that as the girl. Might even be better, since they can just generate whatever kind of lee they want. So they do it as the girl. They wind up with the same chat window full of text, doesn't matter who's writing as whom.

 

[Deleted member 66627]

I've only been accused of being a man one time, and one time only. (I know, I expected more too.)

And that girl/guy/blah got told to give me their phone number and I'll call them to prove it.

Never happened again.

😀

 

[IrishTickle]

Oddly enough, I've been accused of being a girl pretending to be a guy in order to stop guys pm'ing me. In the end I had to describe in detail the feeling of being kicked in the nuts to get rid of them.

As was said above, I think that there's no one cause for this. There's all sorts of reasons, most revolving around the fact that people are jerks and also from peoples insecurities. Desperation is also a factor. There's many people on these sites (and the Internet in general) that are just desperate for some sort of human contact. I just kind of feel sorry for people who do it. But then again, I also find it hilarious when someone is caught out.

 

[Adam]

I've only been accused of being a man one time, and one time only. (I know, I expected more too.)

And that girl/guy/blah got told to give me their phone number and I'll call them to prove it.

Never happened again.

😀

I'm hoping this was before you began posting pictures of yourself. Otherwise, whoever accused you of being a dude has to be blind. 😀

 

[Deleted member 66627]

Sadly, No. I had a picture posted.

 

[Helena]

Oddly enough, I've been accused of being a girl pretending to be a guy in order to stop guys pm'ing me. In the end I had to describe in detail the feeling of being kicked in the nuts to get rid of them.

BWWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

 

[Adam]

Sadly, No. I had a picture posted.

Wow. OK, then they were both blind and mega-stupid. I guess the bottom line is that certain people have trouble believing the sincerity of anybody.

 

[Deleted member 66627]

Either that or they are just trying to make waves in the dumbest way possible.


With my situation at least. I'm not speaking for all of them.

 

[Adam]

Good point, Crystal. For whatever reason, there are lots of people that like to argue even when they're confronted with fact. It's a bass-ackwards way of debating, but what can you do?

 

[Romanzu]

Argh...

Many a time have I seen those I suspect of playing the gender-bender game. It seems that the average person can be anyone from the confines of their own home. You can dress yourself in gold on the internet, simply by describing yourself that way. I've seen my share, and that's part of the reason I avoid the chatroom.

In general, many males do things that aren't so much logical or even intelligent. There are many guys who do things I'd rather not have known about. Why? Who knows... In this case, the bottom line is that they're living a lie. I don't know the reasoning.. I don't pretend to understand the inner workings of such things.

 

[-Hari-]

here's my perhaps very suprising addition to this discussion, when i first found this place, sometime in 2001 i think, the first thing i did was go chatting in the chatroom, now i was..how do i put this, LESS mature than i am now, yes that works nicely.

Now as i entered i had no idea what to expect, weather it would be a land of roleplay or sure discussion or what, but the first thing that was said to me was the old classic "asl" so without much thought i was digitaly reborn as a young female, not due to any fantasies or desires, just don't think the reality of what i was doing was obvious at the time, now as some of you know, i don't cyber anyway, and i was no different then in that respect, so i gained nothing more than attention, and actually quite pleasant attention at that, got quite friendly with some member very quickly... And as that happened, reality started to set in, and straight away i realised that what seemed harmless could potentially have upsetted and hurt people,

so i made my excuses and and vanished, only to return a month or so later as myself to start fresh. Now call it what you will but with no previous experience with an online community and no idea how attached you can feel to something like this place and the people in it... You just don't realise, maybe i lacked common sense back then. One thing i will say as a possitive thing i took from it, after seeing what life as female member of this forum is like first hand it helped me to understand how to behave when i returned.

So... There you go, i wasn't sure how good a plan it was to post this but hey, might be interesting for you guys, there will no doubt be people that didn't see the potential outcomes of they're actions and let it carry on and get closer and closer to people who may actually end up hurt to find out the truth.

Obviously this isn't the same for everyone, i'm sure alot of people just do it to get off. But hey, here's another angle for you, sometimes you just wonder down the wrong road.

 

[Adam]

I appreciate the honesty, Haribish. What differs you from the rest is that you didn't keep it going. There are some folks that do this on a regular basis and seem to have no problem potentially hurting someone.

 

[Maestro1874]

I've never quite understood the appeal of gender misrepresentation, but I have lots of fun with it!

I let them get all sorts of hot and heavy, and then right at their obvious peak I say, "So, not that I care, but what it is that gets you so excited about pretending to be a girl?"

They never answer...

-Maestro