Has anyone ever done something as ******* stupid as I've just done?

[rhiannon]

I agree...once trust like that is broken, it will probably never be back. I was with a person once who ignored the safeword. Needless to say that guy never got to tie my up again!

 

[rivers12]

Guys and girls, I'm sorry. But as someone who has practiced for a while now, I have a big problem with those who refer to this as a "little mistake". I can tell that the OP is sincerely sorry, and I respect his candor and regret. But this is a big deal. Fortunately, I do feel that this thread can serve as a very valuable learning tool for others.

Amen brother. I do not understand how people continue to call this an "honest mistake, or everyone makes mistakes, or now you know her limits." Based on the fact that she was freaking out when the device was put against her right away, how can anyone say it was a honest mistake or lapse in judgment when he intentionally left it on her while he left the room for at least a minute or two. The guy clearly had no regard for her on an emotional level and was treating her more like an object at this point. The fact that he is more concerned with whether or not she'll let him tickle her again rather than how he hurt her emotionally makes me wonder if he cares about what he did with her even half as much as how it will affect his chances to get a thrill out of tickling her again.

 

[Adam]

Amen brother. I do not understand how people continue to call this an "honest mistake, or everyone makes mistakes, or now you know her limits." Based on the fact that she was freaking out when the device was put against her right away, how can anyone say it was a honest mistake or lapse in judgment when he intentionally left it on her while he left the room for at least a minute or two. The guy clearly had no regard for her on an emotional level and was treating her more like an object at this point. The fact that he is more concerned with whether or not she'll let him tickle her again rather than how he hurt her emotionally makes me wonder if he cares about what he did with her even half as much as how it will affect his chances to get a thrill out of tickling her again.

I just want to be clear that I don't intend to pass judgment. What I really want people to get out of my response is as follows. Though you may sympathize with our OP, acknowledge this situation for what it is. It's not a "little mistake". It's a rather big fuck-up. I would tell this to anyone in the same situation, even if I happened to be very close with them. It is my hope that those reading this, especially those new to the scene, will understand that doing something like this is not cool. Sugarcoating the situation does not help anyone and may, in fact, give some the impression that they can succeed where this young man did not. I have nothing against our OP, personally. I feel that he is very genuine in his regret, and I respect the hell out of that.

 

[rivers12]

I just want to be clear that I don't intend to pass judgment. What I really want people to get out of my response is as follows. Though you may sympathize with our OP, acknowledge this situation for what it is. It's not a "little mistake". It's a rather big fuck-up. I would tell this to anyone in the same situation, even if I happened to be very close with them. It is my hope that those reading this, especially those new to the scene, will understand that doing something like this is not cool. Sugarcoating the situation does not help anyone and may, in fact, give some the impression that they can succeed where this young man did not. I have nothing against our OP, personally. I feel that he is very genuine in his regret, and I respect the hell out of that.[/QUOT

At least you are one of the only others to admit this is not just a minor slip up. The guy actually tortured another human being. To be honest, I firmly believe he is more upset about the fact that she may not let him tickle her again more so than he is upset with the fact that he harmed her emotionally.

 

[Jerzeys23]

wait where exactly was the brush stuck? and it was driiving her nuts cause it was ticklling her?

 

[Babbles]

Don't leave & have a safeword.

I'm glad others noticed that the emphasis was too often on whether or not he'd get to tickle her again in SOME responses,

though I hope that was because the posters were trying to find varied thoughts to comfort the guy who just admitted
he won't get the sound of her panicked choking out of his head...

(Obviously her comfort's more crucial since she was on the receiving end of literal torture she didn't want or agree to...

but she's not here & isn't the one posting the educational thread while seeking comfort --and I'm hoping again that was the thought behind those statements...)

Luckily he doesn't seem to be that selfish himself, and this acts as an effective warning for those who

believe every wild fantasy story they read? (Obviously no one's truly harmed in a story, it's not reality unless obviously it's a true account...

Videos are another matter, anything in person -- you have to be careful not to impose through selfish, pushy bullying or negligence...)

But it looks like this person maybe read of this or saw (hopefully staged) videos with these themes & thought he could act it out, I've seen this written in fantasies often enough ---

As rhiannon & others noted --- they OBVIOUSLY needed a safeword,

as I'd say everyone does in case of medical emergency, though some people feel they're ok once they're familiar enough, or if there's a time limit ---
Some say they can "read" each other after a while, etc.,
but I don't see the harm in having a backup if their partner isn't telepathic 🙄

http://www.ticklingforum.com/showthread.php?t=183736&page=2

wait where exactly was the brush stuck? and it was driiving her nuts cause it was ticklling her?

There's an expression....
Tickling can quickly become (worse than) painful in so many ways ---- Regardless, it was horrible for her. That's all we need to know.

So I'll spell it out --- this guy would be no gentleman if he shared any more shitty details of the miserable torture he inadvertantly inflicted on his seriously unhappy gf.
And I'm trying to be "gentlemanly" by not cementing your user name in this unfortunate quote.

He gave just enough information to prevent it happening to someone else, and to seek comfort/feedback, apparently, hopefully not to allow for cheap kicks.

Check the "Post Stories" section, hopefully there's no true non-con in there.

 

[TickleToy4You]

I agree, it's not like he meant to do it or did it on purpose but still, you should never leave the person by themselves while they are tied up like that. Bondage is fun yes, but it can be dangerous. So many reasons why people choose to do limited things. Look at people who don't like gags while being tied up. People who don't like having their arms and legs tied up. I hope you do comfort her and tell her it was an honestly mistake and you would never want to hurt her. I agree with the other posts too, don't do anything kinky or bondage/tickling related for a while.

 

[TickVix]

Bondage rule #1, never leave your bound partner alone. Especially with any mobile objects on or near them.

I'm sorry what happened to your play. It very well might have an impact on you. Take some time away from play for a bit, and enjoy other aspects of your sexuality, and make sure your GF is not troubled by what happened, and talk about it a bit. Later you can try to see if things work again.

Myriads

I 100% have to agree with Myraids on this one. Never leave a restrained person alone, or if you have to for a couple of seconds don't begin any tickling via devices on them while you're not there. I too am sorry that you had to endure that. Hopefully things will get back to how they used to for you although it may take a little time.

 

[Babbles]

It wasn't his misery.... It may be his loss, but he didn't suffer the trauma...

When something is really unbearable, what may be "just" a few seconds much less a minute or two is like MONTHS to the person stuck enduring it.

I'd think the emphasis here should be

at least as much if not more upon the real trauma & destruction of trust inflicted upon the girlfriend

as well as upon comforting the guy who's actually here & posted about having caused it, seemingly with real concern & hopefully to educate others rather than titillate.

If that was me, I would've been gone, and possibly with a souvenir...

He's VERY lucky if he gets a second chance with her,

but more importantly---- she's lucky if that doesn't screw her ability to trust for years ----

and if it didn't make tickling and/or bondage a nasty memory to be avoided at all costs. 🙁

Not that others here aren't expressing concern for her but --- the bondage play is by far secondary.

 

[pfromptown]

At least you are one of the only others to admit this is not just a minor slip up. The guy actually tortured another human being. To be honest, I firmly believe he is more upset about the fact that she may not let him tickle her again more so than he is upset with the fact that he harmed her emotionally.

I..... Having considered your response for a while I thought I'd take some time out to calm down and gather my thoughts, but I still can't really think of the appropriate words. Screw it, I'll give it a go anyway: How dare you!! I'm not sure how you can 'firmly believe' anything on the evidence of a mere two posts from me but even if you do, you are completely out of order even hinting at the fact that I don't care for my girlfriend's emotional state. I completely resent the accusation and am genuinely astounded that you have the balls/lack the brains enough to say that to a person. My girlfriend has been reading the responses (She may comment herself soon) and was utterly disgusted by what you said. Please don't comment on this thread again: your opinion isn't wanted. Perhaps there's a local witch hunt you can join.


Everyone else: I assure you I do not subscribe to the consensus that this was a 'little' mistake (Although I hasten to add that only one post has referred to it as such), I realise that a major rule was violated and that that is unforgivable in some people's eyes. I agree that it is doubly stupid because she would have been extra fucked if something had happened to me, and trust me, I have no intention of leaving her alone again. Scissors next to the bed sounds like a good idea. We do have a safe word but because she's never had to use it before she'd forgotten it.

Previously I have used leaving the room at unexpected intervals as a device to build up anticipation, because both her and I get much more excited when she is genuinely scared, her more so. One of the reasons she likes tickling is that she gets a kick out of being severely dominated, and that was all I was trying to do. I was trying to be cruel, but all in the spirit of what we were doing, not because I wanted to see her properly suffer for real. I love her far too much to put my own kicks over her distress. I have learned my lesson, and if I have stopped just one person going through the same experience she has then this thread has been worthwhile.

To anyone who finds this hot: I can't do anything about that and I can't stop you looking but don't post anything please, I will just ask for it to be deleted. Thanks

 

[TKL_Rebel]

i seriously feel for you because thats something i would do man lol

i hope it all works mate 🙂

I just want to be clear that I don't intend to pass judgment. What I really want people to get out of my response is as follows. Though you may sympathize with our OP, acknowledge this situation for what it is. It's not a "little mistake". It's a rather big fuck-up. I would tell this to anyone in the same situation, even if I happened to be very close with them. It is my hope that those reading this, especially those new to the scene, will understand that doing something like this is not cool. Sugarcoating the situation does not help anyone and may, in fact, give some the impression that they can succeed where this young man did not. I have nothing against our OP, personally. I feel that he is very genuine in his regret, and I respect the hell out of that.

At least you are one of the only others to admit this is not just a minor slip up. The guy actually tortured another human being. To be honest, I firmly believe he is more upset about the fact that she may not let him tickle her again more so than he is upset with the fact that he harmed her emotionally.

and since rivers12 is being honest on how he feels, I think il join in....

The comment you just made was too far, like the OP said, how can you judge him from just 2 posts? Fair enough "honesty is the best policy" yet you can not just go out and out slander they guys name, and you have no clue who his gf is so its not like your saying it in her deffense either...

This forum is ment to be a friendly community and the last thing we need is people making comments like yours on threads like this when a guy knows he has genuinely done wrong, made a mistake and feels bad enough as it is. Potential new members who are thinking about signing up could browse around the forum first, (as we all know there are already a lot of lurkers) read your post and may think "Oh I best not express myself too much because i may get slated for it" Talk about kick a guy when he's down hey...

sort it out mate...

 

[Babbles]

Wait a sec...

It's true, we can't know or assume, and I'd prefer to think you're sincere, as you do seem,
BUT it's also understandable that someone could come to the conclusion
that a person could easily post exactly as you have here

and not have the best intentions ? --- Some people are craftier manipulators,
I'm sure we've all met that type (actually we have, here too... )
--- after a while you realize the apologies are just bullshit when they've been caught, and you can usually tell relatively quickly, but with the better con artists it takes a bit longer. So you have to question ---

Yes, from 2 posts a person can't know if you're truly as upset as you seem or if this thread is a True Non-Con Thriller 🙄 disguised as an educational & regretful shout-out ---

or if it is totally sincere, as it seems, again, and you went out on a limb when you were upset to get it off your chest & educate others.

Unfortunately there are SOOO many truly insensitive clods in this forum who bang their fists for REAL non-con torture for their own (gratification) & screw the victim that some of us do look twice...

I'd guess the poster you quote was a bit taken aback by the fact your girlfriend was "screaming" from the outset --- you didn't say there had been a safeword or what kind of screaming that was, there's positively excited screaming
and then there's the negative type .... So they wondered, like I did....

Plus the emphasis people were placing upon your suffering (the loss of bondage play rather than on the excrutiating agony your girlfriend endured)
also made it seem imbalanced
---- though again you're the one posting, not your girlfriend, so it does also make sense that people would comfort you for seeming upset.

So they were (he is, as I read it) actually concerned for her, and any other wo/men who would be stuck in a similar situation down the road....

No one sincere should hesitate to post, and if you are as horrified by that as you seem I'm sorry for the trauma to your gf and then yourself,
but it's understandable that this would be questioned to some extent too 😱

I hope that makes sense --- and that anyone who "would do" what you did learned from your mistake,
which in that case it was good of you to risk putting up for scrutiny.

 

[WorkInProgress]

I'm going to keep this post short, because I think this thread is way too long already. When the OP tells you up top that he regards his mistake as a very serious one, I can't for the life of me see the merit in lecturing him on what he's already avowed. If he were saying "That was fun, I think I'll try it again," I would understand the point of lecturing him, but not in this instance. To me, what makes sense is to address solely the question of how to keep the mistake from doing permanent damage to the relationship--and that's the real key, the relationship. And considering that his girlfriend is a consenting adult, I think she can speak for herself about what she needs for the relationship to stay on track. This board needs to be a place where people can admit mistakes without being jumped on, and too often, people are more interested in being right and being righteous than in being helpful.

 

[Babbles]

That's basically true, and I'll try not to take up too much space (again),
but the concern expressed was for the girlfriend, who hasn't spoken for herself here and wasn't consenting, which was the problem the OP himself presented ---- their relationship should be the focus, yes,

but some of us also questioned the fact that, probably just due to careless phrasing,
people sometimes also seem to place more weight upon the loss of kink rather than on the damage done to the other person in the relationship you mention.

Unfortunately there have also been a few too many fake threads lately by those who aren't well-intentioned... If this is as sincere as it seems, and pardon me if I've met too many here that cause me to hesitate, then you're right, and I hope the OP & his girlfriend haven't been too put off by those of us who might have become too cynical.

 

[TKL_Rebel]

so in short... if the OP is trolling, he's a twat....

I'm going to keep this post short, because I think this thread is way too long already. When the OP tells you up top that he regards his mistake as a very serious one, I can't for the life of me see the merit in lecturing him on what he's already avowed. If he were saying "That was fun, I think I'll try it again," I would understand the point of lecturing him, but not in this instance. To me, what makes sense is to address solely the question of how to keep the mistake from doing permanent damage to the relationship--and that's the real key, the relationship. And considering that his girlfriend is a consenting adult, I think she can speak for herself about what she needs for the relationship to stay on track. This board needs to be a place where people can admit mistakes without being jumped on, and too often, people are more interested in being right and being righteous than in being helpful.

this is like what i said but 100 times better put. Damn my rubbish english skills!

 

[Driver Ed]

Guys and girls, I'm sorry. But as someone who has practiced for a while now, I have a big problem with those who refer to this as a "little mistake".

I have a big problem with those who take an honest little mistake and use it try to come off all gallant and concerned, hoping the ladies will take notice. Try practicing some forum etiquette once in a while.

 

[jellopink]

I have a big problem with those who take an honest little mistake and use it try to come off all gallant and concerned, hoping the ladies will take notice. Try practicing some forum etiquette once in a while.

You know, he could also be genuinely upset about how some people trivialize matters that could have easily turned seriously damaging. Do you truly feel that whenever a man sides with the ladies, he does it solely for personal gain?

 

[chrisheaven]

Hope she doesn't give you the brush off!
and that she'll soon be buzzing with energy

 

[Adam]

I have a big problem with those who take an honest little mistake and use it try to come off all gallant and concerned, hoping the ladies will take notice. Try practicing some forum etiquette once in a while.

I'll tell you what. Say this to my face, after you have met, spoken with, and genuinely gotten to know me, pal. You know nothing about me or my intentions. Do not insult me or anyone else by assuming that you do.

 

[deadlywiffeathr]

I can tell how bad you feel about the whole situation OP. I think the best thing for you to do now is be a gentleman and give your girl some TLC. I'm sure in time she will realise that it was just a random accident and that you'd never do it to her again 🙂

That being said, trust is a very hard thing to win back, especially when paired with the fetish environment. I think its gunna take alot of sucking up on your part and maybe some give and take in the bedroom with activities that she enjoys from now on.

Good luck never-the-less! 😀

 

[Kantian Ethics]

It would be enlightening-well, to some extent, to know how long he left her in this "challenging" situation..3 minutes of continuous tooth-brush tickling is a good deal, but I wouldn't have thought it enough to bring someone to tears...so one could surmise that the psychological aspect of it had something to do with her reaction. The fact that more than being in pain, she was on her own with no idea when he would come to her rescue.
Still, as everyone, I think that leaving her on her own was a bad show.
I feel sympathy for both of you. May this poor start beget numerous amazing experiences !

 

[love feet]

just be safe when you play all of you OK!!!

 

[Hangtenfeet]

Rule #1, Never leave your tickle buddy! LOL...

 

[P[a]pi]

I agree that it was a big mistake, but I don't think safe words and other safe guards are mandatory.

You yourself said that you are new to this, so until you gain some experience in some areas like learning your lee's limits, tools and bondage, I wouldn't do sessions where she's nude.

If I understand what happened correctly, this wouldn't have ocurred if she had shorts/pants on. And you would have gotten the desired effect. Now whether or not she could handle that desired effect is another matter, and that's part of learning your lee's limits. You want to gradually push her, not big jumps.

 

[Oddjob0226]

I recall reading about a dominatrix who had a guy tied up for a session, and he died of a heart attack before they got down to any BDSM business.

In a panic, she called her boyfriend and they ended up cutting the guy into pieces and disposing of him. She and the boyfriend eventually faced trial. She went free, but he may have been convicted since it was his idea and he apparently did the deed.

So yes, people have done as ***** stupid - or worse - and not on acccident.