Have a moral issue to discuss

[GirlWhoLikes2Laugh]

I have met this guy from this forum (I don't want to say his name) who I met last year and he sent me a private message and we exchanged email addresses and phone numbers. We had talked on the phone last year and we were supposed to meet up but something came up and he had to help his Mom with something. Well he's on my buddy list and we hadn't spoke for a long time since then. However, we did talk online last Friday. The bottom line is he wants to meet up with me and have sex. Just so you know, he's 22 and I am 35. I don't have anything against younger guys in general but I feel weird about having sex with a 22 year old. Although he thinks it's no big deal but I don't know what to do. I mean he's 13 years younger than me. If I were in my twenties I would go for it. I need to at least know what he looks like.

Really need some advice here. Look forward to replies. Thanks.

 

[SpiffyTickler]

The only real answer here is you should only do what you are comfortable with. Don't let yourself be pressured into having sex if you don't want to have it.

 

[GirlWhoLikes2Laugh]

Yeah I understand that but does it make sense in itself for a 35 year old woman to have sex with a 22 year old guy? I mean even if I wanted to, I think that most people would think I am robbing the cradle if you know what I mean.

 

[unclebill]

It sounds like you answered your own question, my dear. If you`re not comfortable with the situation, don`t do it. A few years ago I had a brief fling with a lady who was 15 years younger than me. I was the one who ended the relationship, and not her. Too much of a generation gap for me. Hell, there was only 6 years difference between her and my oldest daughter.

 

[Leo tickles]

The only thing I see wrong with this is that you were planning to meet, you didn't, you started talking again, and this fast he wants sex and you are even considering it?

You asked for opinions, and I'm putting it bluntly: STUPID MOVE.

Only my opinion though, nobody go crazy on me please.

And you don't even know what he looks like?

I don't know what exactly your love/sex life is like, but nobody's should be THIS bad.

 

[SpiffyTickler]

Yeah I understand that but does it make sense in itself for a 35 year old woman to have sex with a 22 year old guy? I mean even if I wanted to, I think that most people would think I am robbing the cradle if you know what I mean.

Well, if you want to look at it through the Spock-Goggles(tm), there is nothing inherently wrong with an age difference like that outside of personal preference. Plus, if he's the one that wants to have sex with you, then you're not exactly robbing the cradle because he's the one iniating this.

Still, you should only do this if you want to, and not feel pressured into it for any reason.

 

[SlaverTickler]

Your 35, and he is 22? This is a no brainer. If you are comfortable with him, and as long as you are smart about it (ie use protection), I say go have a good time. women hit there sexual prime in there 30's and men in there late teens early 20s, so it will probably be the best sex you'll ever have. One thing you should do film the entire thing and post it here on the forum.

Have Fun 🙂

 

[GirlWhoLikes2Laugh]

The only thing I see wrong with this is that you were planning to meet, you didn't, you started talking again, and this fast he wants sex and you are even considering it?

You asked for opinions, and I'm putting it bluntly: STUPID MOVE.

Only my opinion though, nobody go crazy on me please.

And you don't even know what he looks like?

I don't know what exactly your love/sex life is like, but nobody's should be THIS bad.

Well it's like I want to have sex but I just think that society at large would think it's weird for a 22 year old to WANT to have sex with a 35 year old woman. Don't worry I will find out what he looks like first and at least find get to know him better. Have a feeling he just wants a fling but I'll find out.

 

[CitY of MicA]

I don't know that I can really answer your question, Jen, other than to say that I don't think it's a moral issue at all. That is to say, he's of legal age, and you can and should have sex with whomever you like. If you don't feel comfortable with the situation, why not talk with him a bit more? He's young, so it doesn't sound like you need be in any particular hurry 😉 . At any rate, do whatever makes you happy. Good luck.

 

[Leo tickles]

Sounds to me like he just wants to have sex with an older woman so he can say he did.

Other than that, fuck society. The same society that labels and discriminates for idiotic reasons?

Look at what you ARE, not what everybody else will see you AS.

The people that will like you as you ARE, are the one's that are worth keeping around.

The people that look at you AS something because of some action you were doing to not be looked on in a negative light by the society, well, I have something to fit right up the anal passage of their society.

 

[GirlWhoLikes2Laugh]

I don't know that I can really answer your question, Jen, other than to say that I don't think it's a moral issue at all. That is to say, he's of legal age, and you can and should have sex with whomever you like. If you don't feel comfortable with the situation, why not talk with him a bit more? He's young, so it doesn't sound like you need be in any particular hurry 😉 . At any rate, do whatever makes you happy. Good luck.

I just want to say that maybe it's not really a moral issue. It's just that that he's just so much younger than I. I will say this, I'll meet him and get to know him a little better. Have to at least be attracted to him for this to work out and if I am not attracted to him, I won't do it, that's all. I will use protection of course.

 

[CitY of MicA]

I just want to say that maybe it's not really a moral issue. It's just that that he's just so much younger than I. I will say this, I'll meet him and get to know him a little better. Have to at least be attracted to him for this to work out and if I am not attracted to him, I won't do it, that's all. I will use protection of course.

That sounds good, Jen 🙂 . I thought about it, and I realized that I cannot speak from experience on this matter (I never had relations with that women - I mean, I've never had relations with a much younger woman). But there's nothing inherently wrong with it. Maybe when you speak with him further you'll get a greater sense whether or not you're looking for the same thing. Hope everything works out for the best!!

 

[SmarterthanU]

Well it's like I want to have sex but I just think that society at large would think it's weird for a 22 year old to WANT to have sex with a 35 year old woman. Don't worry I will find out what he looks like first and at least find get to know him better. Have a feeling he just wants a fling but I'll find out.

Jen. Fuck what society at large thinks. Society at large thinks the earth is 6,000 years old. Society at large disapproves of just about everything.

Do you want to have a fling with the guy? If you do, go for it. If you don't, don't. If you don't know whether you want to or not, take your time and find out. Don't allow yourself to be pressured either way. You're in control of you. 😀

 

[aurora5150]

this is something you have to decide for yourself. if you wanna have sex with this guy than go with that.

i'm getting the feeling you want somebody to tell you that you are too old for him and how dare you even think of having sex with this guy. just my thoughts and please correct me if i'm wrong.

but i agree with the general concensus here. if you wanna do it then do it. if you don't then don't. if you don't want to do it cuz you personally think it's morally wrong then don't do it. this is something that has to feel right within yourself. and just to let you know i prefer older guys so i really don't see anything wrong with it. just go with what feels right for you. good luck.

 

[Goodieluver]

Age means nothing, do what makes you happy and what you want to do

 

[Knox The Hatter]

This guy announced (in a randy, rude tone) not long ago just what he wanted to do with you, before the whole board. Now he tells you, before he ever meets you, that he wants to have sex.

Jen, you're not gonna tell me that you can't do better than this?

 

[milagros317]

The age difference is not a moral issue to me, you are both adults and can do what you want.

I need to at least know what he looks like.

What puts me off is he proposes this when you don't even know what he looks like. Can't he at least email you his photo?

 

[SmarterthanU]

Does he know what you look like, Jen? Maybe things are on equal ground, here, guys.

 

[isabeau]

crap Jen...this has nothing to do with age, however it does have everything to do with first meeting...it's up to you of course, but i would highly suggest that you do not have sex with him on a first meeting..he could have a sexual disease...he could be a killer...you should only meet him publicly the first time and then judge...he could be horribly repulsive..and have you ever thought of the fact he might not be who he says he is???

 

[kis123]

Jen. Fuck what society at large thinks. Society at large thinks the earth is 6,000 years old. Society at large disapproves of just about everything.

Do you want to have a fling with the guy? If you do, go for it. If you don't, don't. If you don't know whether you want to or not, take your time and find out. Don't allow yourself to be pressured either way. You're in control of you. 😀

We might not agree on P&R, but I can totally agree with this!

Jen, society doesn't wake up next to you in the morning. It doesn't give you comfort on a cold day. It doesn't soothe a lonely heart or an aching body. There's only so much society can do for you. But if this fella intrigues you, find out what he looks like and get to know him better before you "go there." You won't be the first person to sleep with a younger man and you won't be the last.

My only piece of advice is to be careful; don't lead in with your heart because he may only want sex with you and not a relationhship. I wouldn't want you to get hurt. If you want help deciphering the he said/she said against what he meant/she meant, PM me. I know dating can be a struggle expecially for someone in your "situation" (re: Aspergers). The signals might get crossed sometimes.

My mother and stepfather were 15 years apart in age (my mom was older). People laughed at them too until he helped bury her 27 years later. Something for you to think about.

 

[kis123]

This guy announced (in a randy, rude tone) not long ago just what he wanted to do with you, before the whole board. Now he tells you, before he ever meets you, that he wants to have sex.

Jen, you're not gonna tell me that you can't do better than this?

Do we even know if he's the same guy?? If so, he made a poor decision on a public forum; that doesn't necessarily mean he's a letch. At least not yet!

Alas, the final decision is on Jen whether it be a good or bad one will equate to another lesson on dating. We've all made some decisions we probably shouldn't have so hers wouldn't be the first.

 

[Capnmad]

Spider-sense tingling...

Hey Jen. Coupla' things...


1. Society at large frowns upon tying folks up and tickling them. Does that stop you? Should it?



2. When you're questioning something like this (especially so strongly as to seek advice here of all places), that's your gut working for you. Prudence dictates you listen to it and move in the direction the doubt leads you.

When you no longer question, it's more likely the right decision for you. Until then, be cautious.



3. My own view says there's something... ...off, here. What you describe is an unusually truncated progression with more than moderately unreasonable expectations and requests from the gate.

Immediately I think of a "Borat" t-shirt I saw that reads: "I like you. I like sex." It's as if someone somehow took that to heart as part of an equation that results in what they seek:

"I like you." + "I like sex." = "Good to having the sex with you! Niiice!" [/pseudo-Kazakh accent]

Casual sex? Who cares? That's a personal call, and a comfort zone thing. If you're cool with it, fine. Same with age, provided they meet your criteria for adulthood, and those of the law. But this guy's approach tells me that's not all of the story either, from what I see... Something's not jiving here.

That said, I don't know all the specifics, possible extenuating circumstances, etc., so the vibe I describe in #3 could well be me speaking in error because of a lack of data, so take it with a grain of salt and think it over.

In any event, I wish you good luck, and stay safe.

 

[Banshee]

Well

Honestly the guy sounds like a freak.

 

[SlaverTickler]

Well it's like I want to have sex but I just think that society at large would think it's weird for a 22 year old to WANT to have sex with a 35 year old woman. Don't worry I will find out what he looks like first and at least find get to know him better. Have a feeling he just wants a fling but I'll find out.

Your kidding right, all my life I have liked older women. When I was 22 a 12 year difference wouldn't have been a problem. However you should stay within you comfort zone, but having a fling can be fun too right 🙂

 

[GirlWhoLikes2Laugh]

This guy announced (in a randy, rude tone) not long ago just what he wanted to do with you, before the whole board. Now he tells you, before he ever meets you, that he wants to have sex.

Jen, you're not gonna tell me that you can't do better than this?

I think you are confused Knox. I am not talking about jerseytickler. I am talking about somone else. Jersey and I are JUST FRIENDS! I just want to have tickle play with him in a platonic way. I will use a condom if I do decide to have sex with this guy BUT I HAVE TO KNOW WHAT HE LOOKS LIKE FIRST BEFORE I EVEN CONSIDER IT. Thanks for everyone's advice so far.