Have you ever been hurt so bad......

[Sultrybrunette]

Uh huh and you have been with me while going through it. Its happened many times in my life with both family and "so called" friends. Its very easy to get cynical and you get so its difficult to trust anyone anymore. All I can do is add what everyone else has said and say that I love you my friend and I too am here if you need to talk.

 

[BigBrownEyes]

Yes, this type of thing has happened to a lot of us. There's a lot of good response here. I'm probably just reinterating what has already been said but...


Actually, there's no quick fix for a deep hurt. Some things don't ever go completely away. You just have to find a deal with it. You will definitely be angry for awhile and wallow in self pity. At the same time, you will probably be extremely angry at the person and suffer from really irrational thoughts.

But you owe it to yourself, and no one else, to move on. So all you can do is find a way to deal with it. I agree, that of the best things to do is talk about it. Talk about it with intelligent people who care about you. It's also good to surround yourself with family and friends who care. I also believe that "living well is the best revenge." Take time for youself and do some things just for yourself, like go on a little road trip, go shopping, or get a massage.

Sometimes a person comes along whom we like, but they don't seem to reciprocate and nothing you do is going to change their mind. It's frustrating. But if you look at it logically, we shouldn't spend more than a couple minutes concerning ourselves with these types. We should just say "next" and move on. You owe that to yourself.

As cliche as it is, time does really heel nearly all wounds. Just be patient, take care of yourself and stay hopeful.

 

[baby]

OH yes, been there as well, I know what you're going through and very sorry for you that you have to.
Many people here gave great advices.
Talking to people who love, understand and support you helps a lot. Pamper yourself, try to have as much fun as possible and as difficult as it is, try not to think too much about things you can't change anyway.
But we all know, there is no easy way out. Nothing will really take away the pain for a while, only time will and it can take a lot of time. But you will get over it eventually, you'll see - hope it will be soon.
Stay strong and take care

 

[unit5610]

I just logged on and saw this...I'm so sorry this has happened to you especially during this time of year. I have been on both sides of this to some extent and felt terrible about it, but managed to come out of it by concentrating on other things that needed my attention and re-dedicating myself to what else was important in my life. You're a wonderful person who has made an important contribution to my life over the past year and my thoughts and prayers are with you.

 

[SlaverTickler]

I gave up on dating all together. Doesn't make the bad feeling go away, but at least I won't take it out on the next person cause there will never be one.

 

[Ticklemmmeeeeee]

classy, I'm really sorry for the pain you are feeling. I'm glad you have been able to attain some sense of peace and hope from the posts in which others have replied so wisely.

Sadly, I can offer nothing novel so I will suffice it to say that as a member of the same club, things honestly do get better. There comes a time, after crying more than you ever believed you were capable of, that you realize things are what they are and you begin to accept it. This is when you enter a new phase of pain. This , I believe is when the healing starts. That isn't to say it doesn't still hurt once in a while,it does. Whenever you are mending from the effects of any kind of painful experience...there will be days when you can cope much better than others. This is quite normal. The best advice I can give you is to reiterate how important it is to take good care of yourself and keep a journal for yourself so that in a month or two you can see your progress. Laughter is incredible medicine, being here is the start of engaging in some of that. 🙂

Take care and best of luck.
~tm

 

[Texas_Tickle]

Have you ever been hurt so bad by a friend, lover, or family member that it twirls in the pit of your stomach and you can't eat or sleep? What did you do to make it go away. I have went from ok this is cool, to OMG I can't deal to bitter. I think I am trying to hate the person so maybe it wont hurt anymore but I can't seem to do that.

Take it from a person who's been betrayed and put down... if you carry that hate inside of you, it will eat you alive.

I'm not saying you have to "forgive and forget", but by releasing the hatred, you are proving you are the bigger person.

 

[Mitchell]

Classy, I'm sorry to hear about you being hurt. The answer to this question for me is yes. As I posted in another thread, it looks like I am headed for another estrangement with my father, this time for good. We have been talking for a year, after one of our long estrangements, nearly two years last time. This week he has conducted himself in a manner, which shows that he doesnt seem to care, if we are estranged for the rest of his life. Last year, after I reconnected with him, he sent me a lying e-mail saying he wanted a "new beginning". Well, he has spent this year acting even more hateful to me than he had in the past. In recent days, I have been unable to sleep. I think about him, us, and our relationship, many hours a day, and it just makes me feel so devastated, and disgusted that he acted like this again.
As others advised you in this thread, I myself have been advised to work through the anger, and try to forget about my dad. In cases like yours, and the one I have, I think there are stages of emotion, such as sadness, anger, resolution, and acceptance. Eventually, the acceptance emotion does take over. Hopefully, in time, while your feelings might never totally go away, it will reach a point of acceptance where it just gets easier. This happened to me at points with my father, when at times we were estranged for as much as nearly 3 years at a time. Hopefully, in time, your emotions will begin to reach such a point, too. Good Luck.

Mitch

 

[storyteller]

In answer to your question, Classy, yes. I've been down that road more than once. It sucks but can be great for weight loss and clearing out the tear ducts. Must look at the positive aspects, no matter how lame they may be. The length of time of betrayal's influence on eating and sleeping tends to be in proportion with how much of ourselves was and is invested in the betrayer. Totally agree with pampering yourself and some other advice given here. You need to do what's best for you to allow your heart to heal. Hearts are much more resilient than most people believe in difficult times. Trust is tougher to reassemble. The scars and memories of this incident, whatever it was, will remain for a while and pop into your head as you meet new people or face circumstances that bring this incident to the forefront of your memory. New people may not deserve that distrust. The betrayer, well, that's for you to decide.

I find SlaveTickler's advice very sad. A temporary hiatus is one thing. Permanent leaves a hole in the person sitting on the sidelines. Love is one of the biggest gambles in life. It's also one of the most meaningful, especially when it's a mutual risk and returned. Unfortunately, we have to risk before we find out.

As I've just found this thread, I should thank Samamigo82 for letting you know that you could PM me if you desired. I reiterate that option.

Take care, classy. I hope you enjoyed those baked goods!

 

[rideashire]

Doc is thinking about you

Classy,

Im sry to hear about this. If you want to talk, IM me

Doc

 

[Iluvtickles]

I understand

Hi
Yes I know exactly what you are describing. I am going through exactly that at the moment, it hurt so much I have been physically ill. The person I trusted most in the world betrayed me and lied to me and made a complete fool out of me. To make it trickier, it has now left me alone on the other side of the world from family and friends. It has been a total nightmare,. Family are doing their best to get me a flight home ASAP but the past few days were just so upsetting, especially the weekend that was in it, everything closed, friends away with family for Easter etc, so I had no choice but to stay at home in my apartment, where I now live alone, and try to seek a positive from the situation. It has been so hard, but I believe that I am gradually finding the strength to pull through. I know that it is not me who is the one with the problem, I know that I have a very complete life to go back home to and that gradually I will begin to reclaim my independance and make a fresh start. But yes, it is hard, very hard. Just so that you know, there is someone else who feels as you feel and if you ever need to talk, feel free to msg me.
Take Care xxx

 

[locker669]

Imagine the person is dead. It sounds cold but it works.