Have you ever converted someone?

[magic fingers]

I hear a lot of complaints from guys on this thread who have wives/gf's who hate being tickled, or just aren't into it. And I've dated more than my share of those women, and it usually doesn't last very long, for that very reason. My question is, has anyone ever converted someone from the "I hate tickling crowd" to one of us? Is this even possible? At best I would think you might switch a "tickle-hater" into someone who can tolerate tickling, but not necessarily enjoy it. I remember reading an awesome true college story on another website(I think it written by Toyou) where a guy finds a beautiful, but snooty stuck-up sorority girl stuck under the stairs in the basement of their sorority house, and the lucky dude takes her down a peg or two by tickling her unmercifully. She's very ticklish, and at first she hates it(especially the feet) but after a while she starts getting into it, and enjoying it. I'm certainly not advocating tickling someone against their will, but this was an incredible story, and I'm just wondering if anyone else has had this kind of success in converting a "tickle-hater." I know I haven't.

 

[ShadowTklr]

Converting a tickle-hater into a tickle-lover is probably more fantasy than reality. Having said that, I will also say that my own experince leads me to believe that there are a number of "potential" tickle lovers who feign hatred because they don't want to lose control of their behavior, or because it is a sexual stimulant and feels like inappropriate or intimate touch.

The other reason for the haters may be that tickling ws used as a weapon, or torture activity by evil siblings, boyfriends, etc., against them. The practice may have been severe enough to create an aversion in the person that causes them to avoid any and all situations that may cause them to be tickled. I think that person has a slightly higher potential for conversion if slowly reconditioned by a loving and trusted partner.

My greatest desire, (and I'm sure I'm not alone here) is tickling a woman who claims to either not be ticklish, or who hates to be tickled, only to find out that she derives incredible excitement from it. 😎

 

[the_Baron]

whats easier - doing that, or converting a chassid to hinduism?

 

[ShadowTklr]

whats easier - doing that, or converting a chassid to hinduism?

Perhaps if you tickle them until they swear conversion? 😀

 

[TummyDragon]

This is actually a very interesting quesiton. I agree with ShadowTklr

I know in my past experience that I've converted a tickle-hater to a tickle-tolerator and somewhat tickle-enjoyer at times, but I wouldn't go as far as saying I've converted a tickle-hater to a fetishist like most of us are.

I dated a girl once who was really into spanking and other aspects of BDSM. While I did enjoy the fact that this was a way to blow her mind with arousal, I never actually became a spanking fetishist. I became very adept with paddles, bare hand, floggers, riding crops, etc because I knew she absolutely *loved* it, but for me it was always a way to please my partner rather than something I enjoyed in and of itself. I enjoyed it to a good degree, but there's no way I could say I loved it other than loving the fact that my partner was receiving an immense pleasure, and thus enjoying the means because of the end. Of course, after being introduced to BDSM community, I was able to have quite a number of ticklish playmates, but again, I don't think any of them converted into "loving" it except for the joy they derived from pleasing me. If that makes any sense. One would have to have an good understanding of the gift of submission for that to make complete sense.


I would surmise that this would be much the same for a tickle-lover "converting". I think it's possible to create an enjoyment for it to some degree, even a large degree, but I doubt anyone who isn't a already a clandestine fetishist could be converted to a fetishist because I believe the internal fetish wiring, if existing, are created and connected during youth and puberty and once it's wired, it's just there. I'm sure there are "converts" out there, but, if it were to be dissected into the lowest common denominators, I'd venture to guess it would be because of a love for and pleasing of one's partner rather than an actual love of the ticklish sensations.

But, I've been wrong before... I think... maybe... but I'll never admit it! 😎

 

[Ayla ny]

Converting a tickle-hater into a tickle-lover is probably more fantasy than reality. Having said that, I will also say that my own experince leads me to believe that there are a number of "potential" tickle lovers who feign hatred because they don't want to lose control of their behavior, or because it is a sexual stimulant and feels like inappropriate or intimate touch.

The other reason for the haters may be that tickling ws used as a weapon, or torture activity by evil siblings, boyfriends, etc., against them. The practice may have been severe enough to create an aversion in the person that causes them to avoid any and all situations that may cause them to be tickled. I think that person has a slightly higher potential for conversion if slowly reconditioned by a loving and trusted partner.

My greatest desire, (and I'm sure I'm not alone here) is tickling a woman who claims to either not be ticklish, or who hates to be tickled, only to find out that she derives incredible excitement from it. 😎

wow… that’s me. all of it. so I guess I have converted someone. me.

 

[gig1965]

Very simple brother,
You didn't really convert her....she just wasn't quite truthful in her denials in the beginning.

You'd have as much real chance at making me like liver as making someone who really hates to be tickled somehow start liking it.

 

[Strider]

Well,I got my girlfriend into it.But she didn't exactly hate it before we met,she just didn't really see it as being sexual.I think in the beginning,she may have just went along because she knew how much I liked it.Now,she's fairly obsessed.

 

[ShadowTklr]

Not so fast...

Very simple brother,
You didn't really convert her....she just wasn't quite truthful in her denials in the beginning.

You'd have as much real chance at making me like liver as making someone who really hates to be tickled somehow start liking it.

Actually, that's not entirely accurate. One of the most common types of reconditioning (aka converting) is called Psychotherapy. Psychologists, and Psychiatrists many times, work with rape victims who find themselves hating men, or hating intimacy, or both as a result of the severe psychological trauma experienced by the rape. After specialized therapy (and lots of it), some women who have been sexually traumatized, CAN learn to trust, share intimacy, and enjoy normal sexual relationships with men.

As for the liver thing, I'm not so sure you're right about that either. Something called Hypnotherapy, under certain circumstances, and with susceptible recipients can actually effect change in perspective, cognitive abilities, and yes, even the preference for taste and habitual behavior.

I guess there's hope for you and liver yet. Hooray! 😎

 

[Jimblast]

I've Done It A Number of Times....

I think if you express how tickling and sexuality go hand in hand under the context of 'sensitivity of touch', you're well on your way. I've done it with pretty much every woman I've dated. I'm very up front about what I like. I am dominant in the bedroom. A lot of women like having a guy whose that way. Express it in ways where for the element of trust is enhanced being tied down, and throw in how blindfolding enhances sensitivity of touch, women I know tend to like that. Tickling can be an erotic art if done the right way. Many women love role play as well. If a woman doesn't like those things, you find out early on. If two people love one another, they are willing to try anything to please the other within reason. I haven't had a problem with it. Ease into it with conversation. Ultimately, if I'm in the beginning of a relationship and we start talking about sex, I tell her what I would do to her. I just mention that I have an ornate wooden antique four poster bed. I mention that I would use 5 silk scarves, four to tie her wrists and ankles to each post and the fifth to blindfold her. Then I tell her I would run soft feathers all over her body, then I would spread whip cream all over her and slowly lick it all off. If she doesn't like that, she's not for you...period. If you don't believe me, try it! See what happens. I oughta charge for this kind of advice! lol! Good luck with it...it's always worked for me!

😀

 

[EvlJester]

I am so glad that when i met smurfy, was into tickling. I guess we are a match made in heaven.

 

[Drago69]

I am so glad that when i met smurfy, was into tickling. I guess we are a match made in heaven.

Or... a match made in jello! I love jello. I really want some jello right now. Can someone give me some jello?

Oh, and to answer the question: No. Never even had a girlfriend before, or been friends with a girl, or whatever.

 

[sugarmouse]

My greatest desire, (and I'm sure I'm not alone here) is tickling a woman who claims to either not be ticklish, or who hates to be tickled, only to find out that she derives incredible excitement from it. 😎 [/B][/QUOTE]

that was mine...well still is but i fulfilled it not so long ago with a girl who always hated been tickled..but i turned her on the way i did it. i still smile at that thought.

 

[TummyDragon]

Re: I've Done It A Number of Times....

I think if you express how tickling and sexuality go hand in hand under the context of 'sensitivity of touch', you're well on your way. I've done it with pretty much every woman I've dated.

Heya Jim,
I agree with you here in as far as seducing a lady to want to try it with you, and possibly even enjoying it and wanting to do it regularly. Very sound advice indeed.

Unless I misread the original post though, I was under the impression he was referring to converting to "one of us", i.e., a fetishist. While your advice is absolutely sound for the seduction process, I don't think it actually has or would convert a tickle-hater into a fetishist.

Maybe I read more into the original post than is actually there. Perhaps a matter of semantics?

 

[daddy]

I truly don't believe there is a way to "convert" anyone to having the same feelings for our pasiion as we do. To me, you either are born with it or had a pleasurable experience with it as a young person which eventually became part of your adulthood. I agree with Tummydragon in the sense that a partner might want to experience the things that make each other happy, therefore "sharing" in each others desires.

A perfect example is my girlfriend. She never thought of tickling as being a fetish or a form of foreplay ever until she met me. Part of what drew us together though was that we each had a "stange and twisted" way of thinking and very simular sexual desires. She likes control, dominance and a sort of discipline type of roleplay...so when I told her about my tickling kink, she basically thought it was no big deal and took a liking to it for the simple fact that she might incorporate it into her already dominant personale. It fit with her...more ammo so to speak...LOL So basically, I don't call this a conversion, but rather she accepted it and now enjoys it. BUT...still, she will never think of it the same way I do or many of us do here at the TMF. Face it, most of us think about it over 100 times a day at one point or a another...it is "part" of us. I don't think of whipping or spanking someone at all during the day, so you have to imagine that someone who just enjoys/tolerates it probably doesn't think very often about it neither.

peace out,
daddy

 

[Ayla ny]

it is possible to be phobic about it and then have a complete turn around once certain connections are made. I know this because I did it. it wasn’t due to an outside influence… so I don’t know if it really counts as a conversion… it was more like an epiphany, or an awakening, really. but at one time, I was truly terrified and would become angry if tickled (for all of the reasons ShadowTkler mentioned, I know now…). all the while knowing that there was something that was missing. some thing that would make it like it was supposed to be… for me. when I found it (being tickled) it all made sense. what was missing and why I had denied it so strongly. and I’m a much happier, more whole, kinky woman because of it. 😀

it would have been a lot easier for me if someone had “converted” me (opened my eyes!) a long time ago… but regardless of when, why, or how... I am SO glad that the connections were made!

I guess it was kind of there all along tho…so… well…I don’t know! I’m thinking myself into circles now and kind of lost the point I was trying to make lol but I’ll post this anyhow and just hope that it makes sense. 🙂

 

[TummyDragon]

it is possible to be phobic about it and then have a complete turn around once certain connections are made. I know this because I did it. it wasn’t due to an outside influence… so I don’t know if it really counts as a conversion… it was more like an epiphany, or an awakening, really. but at one time, I was truly terrified and would become angry if tickled (for all of the reasons ShadowTkler mentioned, I know now…). all the while knowing that there was something that was missing. some thing that would make it like it was supposed to be… for me. when I found it (being tickled) it all made sense. what was missing and why I had denied it so strongly. and I’m a much happier, more whole, kinky woman because of it. 😀

it would have been a lot easier for me if someone had “converted” me (opened my eyes!) a long time ago… but regardless of when, why, or how... I am SO glad that the connections were made!

I guess it was kind of there all along tho…so… well…I don’t know! I’m thinking myself into circles now and kind of lost the point I was trying to make lol but I’ll post this anyhow and just hope that it makes sense. 🙂

Heya Ayla,
I read your post several times, just to make sure I wasn't missing something. You mentioned that although you hated being tickled in those situations, that you also "all the while" knew there was more to it, and finally realized (your epiphany) that you DO love it under the right circumstances, but not "mean" circumstances. So, it does seem as if the wiring was there all along, but just didn't get connected or 'switched on' until later.

I am wondering, during the times you were being tickled (and hated it), did you ever wish the tickler was the cute boy down the street or something like that? Did you ever envision tickling someone or being tickled in a *fun* way? If you saw a friend barefoot, or maybe with an arm raised to get a glass from a cabinet, did you ever have the urge to give a quick tickle?

This topic is extremely interesting to me. Thanks for your "conversion" input. I think it's absolutely cool that you went from hating it to loving it.

David

 

[Ayla ny]

David, I read your post on the subject and I think you are right on the money so far as most cases are concerned. and I think that if your partner’s mind is open from day one, it can work out just fine. but if you feel like you are being humored… then forget it. I was humored. it really feels pretty yucky.

when I made the connection… I was SO excited! I dragged my husband over to the computer and showed him all of things I had found. “look! oh my God… look! isn’t that incredibly beautiful? read this! isn’t that wonderful? look at the look on her face in this picture!” I may as well have shown him pictures of puppy dogs and grandmothers… no connections were made.

it wasn’t our only problem… but it quickly became another thing wrong with our marriage. as time went on… a very important one, we realized.

when I was younger (especially in my teens) I would get so carried away tickling friends and boyfriends. but only if I knew they would not be getting me back. there were lots of times I wanted to tickle… but the fear of being tickled back would stop me. it still scares me to this day (just ask the people who have been to gatherings and stuff with me lol) my hands shake and I stutter. while the fear is still there somewhere… I’ve kind of let the desire take the front seat. I want it more than I fear it.

the only comparison I can make, that even comes close, is how freaked out I get about feeling trapped… but, at certain times, I really want/need to be restrained. this one I came to terms with a long time ago. because bondage is so mainstream, I was able to make sense of that dichotomy. lots of people are into bondage. it just took a lot longer to make sense of the tickling thing… because everyone knows and talks about the excitement that comes with bondage… but no one I knew talked about the stuff that can go along with being tickled.

hope that answered your questions and made sense. 🙂

 

[steph]

Wow~Ayla, your honesty is...just amazing. Thank you for sharing so beautifully.

XOXO

 

[Ghost2004]

Yes and No

I HAVE converted my 4 closest female friends, but they already had "played around" with tickling and bondage and were into a decent amount of kink in their own right( One of them is a former Dominatrix!😱 ). The lot of us have had some VERY interesting play sessions! 😉 and one of them is to become my roommate in a few days!( oh and for the record she's blond and EXTREAMLY ticklish! )

On the "no"part.. I tried to convert my ex husband into tickling.. he SEEMED to be getting into it, but when I found out, as one of the other posters, I THINK twas Ayla said, that he did it to "humor me" I was devistated. Then it more and more became a bone of contention in our dying relationship.

But the fact that I "tickle-verted" my close friends MORE than makes up for that!


Ghostie

 

[TicklishSinner]

I got to somewhat convert jester, he was into tickling before he met me but just not as much as he is now...he is a freaking monster now!!! LOL

 

[Ayla ny]

Wow~Ayla, your honesty is...just amazing. Thank you for sharing so beautifully.

XOXO

thanks, Steph.

it’s funny, once the connections were made, it opened all kinds of mental doors. now I love the playful, affectionate, (sometimes downright silly) tickles right along with… well, the other kind. and I met a wonderful man who is perfect for me. who loves me and loves to tickle me (he is my reward for being good). 🙂 my only regret is that it took so long. it was literally years before I worked up the courage to actually do something about it. better late than never tho. 🙂

 

[TummyDragon]

thanks, Steph.

it’s funny, once the connections were made, it opened all kinds of mental doors. now I love the playful, affectionate, (sometimes downright silly) tickles right along with… well, the other kind. and I met a wonderful man who is perfect for me. who loves me and loves to tickle me (he is my reward for being good). 🙂 my only regret is that it took so long. it was literally years before I worked up the courage to actually do something about it. better late than never tho. 🙂

First, thank you for being so open and honest. What a refreshing, hope inspiring post. Secondly, I'm extremely happy for you that you not only found the perfect mate but also had the courage to take the steps to *change* your life and GO for happiness. I hear so many who aren't in situation like you experienced say idiotic things like "it's selfish", or "you made your bed, now you have to lie in it". My god how ridiculous. There's no way EITHER of you could be happy if one is totally unfulfilled. I'm really proud of you for finding that courage to take the reins of your life and *make* your happiness happen. Good for you.

I doubt you'll remember me, but you and I had a couple of exchanges a few years ago on AMT, (as ticklefan), so I knew a bit of your situation, but I didn't know you had now created such a happy "beginning" for youself. I always thought you had a gorgeous heart and an internal beauty that just spilled from your posts and writing. Again, I'm very happy for you.

 

[AffectionateDan]

Well, whatta ya know... ANOTHER Jello Fan! What ARE the odds?

Or... a match made in jello! I love jello. I really want some jello right now. Can someone give me some jello?

😉 Can't HELP but wonder... if his tastes in Jello run similar to mine? 😉

and I’m a much happier, more whole, kinky woman because of it....

...but regardless of when, why, or how... I am SO glad that the connections were made!

I'll say! 😉

Me too!

I hear so many who aren't in situation like you experienced say idiotic things like "it's selfish", or "you made your bed, now you have to lie in it". My god how ridiculous. There's no way EITHER of you could be happy if one is totally unfulfilled.

This has gotta be one of the most intelligent, mature things I've ever heard anyone say. Excellent point. I wish everyone could think this way... we'd all be a lot happier, I'm sure!

 

[steph]

LOL~You're welcome hon! (I like both too, BTW) and as you know probably I'm in same boat now that you were. I have same regrets. Worst of all is he's otherwise a really good guy~all my friends want him. He's cute, he cooks, he cleans (sighs) What a mess. (Brightens up) But I'm happy for you two though! Couldn't be happening to nicer kidz!

XOXO

thanks, Steph.

it’s funny, once the connections were made, it opened all kinds of mental doors. now I love the playful, affectionate, (sometimes downright silly) tickles right along with… well, the other kind. and I met a wonderful man who is perfect for me. who loves me and loves to tickle me (he is my reward for being good). 🙂 my only regret is that it took so long. it was literally years before I worked up the courage to actually do something about it. better late than never tho. 🙂