Have you noticed that...?

[Amnesiac]

I've said it before and I'll say it again, there's a seemingly inherent trait that permeates the entire TMF and manifests itself so frequently that it even draws the attention of the same topic in multiple threads again and again in the form of "Are Ticklephiles Insecure?" "Is Tickling Fetishism a Sign of Mental Illness" threads.

TICKLEPHILES SEEM TO HAVE PERSECUTION ISSUES.

A lot of the posters that emerge during the active threads are all itching to make their voices heard; it's almost like they have chips on both shoulders waiting for someone to knock them off.

I dunno where it comes from: insecurity, anger management, latent trauma provoking heightened sensitivity, rigorous moral conditioning, whatever, but whatever it is, it makes most of us very wary of the implied meaning behind people's words. It also seems to seems to create a lot of perceived hostile intent in someone else's words, as if a controversial opinion is an attack or assault or insult to their personal values and they rush to defend/attack each other. They seem to fell as if they are constantly being judged or attacked and it makes them very animated and agitated when presenting their arguments.

Even I'm a victim of it, and I dunno why.

Often in those aforementioned threads, someone--like me--will usually make a carefully thought out post with the intent of revealing the mistaken presumptions on both sides and try to repair the damage. These posts are usually ignored or passed right over and the fight continues. How many threads have we seen that keep going on for pages and pages until people get burned out and only a small core of posters stick around to duke it out until the thread is shut down or trails off into nothing?

I think the negative threads "unite" us because it taps into some unresolved issues about being heard or being attacked to which ticklephiles seem to be very sensitive to. These negative threads finally give us a venue to vent and spew but it does little to resolve anything as we continually see the same arguments in different threads over and over again.

Whatever it is, talking about it doesn't seem to help.

 

[Deleted member 66627]

[Amn's post is too epic to quote in pieces.]

Makes sense. Perhaps it's due to constant hesitance or fear of being outed or confronted about our fetish. (Not all of us, obviously.)

So, inturn we lunge for each other's throats in those types of topics to vent some kind of subconcious hostility.

Or, we can stick with the fact that 'taboo' topics are what make's the world go 'round.

 

[RobAce]

At times discretion is greater part of valor.

But again, using people is not the way to go. When people are used to up someone's or their own standing or to be used to knock someone off of a pedestal real or perceived makes things petty.
Those are the people I worry about and wonder why they wish to create drama from nothing, or to continue drama when it could be as easily let go and move on.

Rob

 

[Ticklerguy4u]

I know I haven't just come out of the woodworks. I've been here for several years. I just took a short break from the forum for a while.

 

[huskys]

[Amn's post is too epic to quote in pieces.]

Makes sense. Perhaps it's due to constant hesitance or fear of being outed or confronted about our fetish. (Not all of us, obviously.)

So, inturn we lunge for each other's throats in those types of topics to vent some kind of subconcious hostility.

Or, we can stick with the fact that 'taboo' topics are what make's the world go 'round.

Pretty well said!!!
Do you think if we were more honest about our feelings for our own fetish, that perhaps we wouldn't feel the need to attack each other so much???

 

[Capnmad]

TICKLEPHILES SEEM TO HAVE PERSECUTION ISSUES.

NO WE DO NOT!!! How dare you say such a thing?!?! WAAAHHH!!!! Where's a Mod/Gatherer to become chummy with so I can get you threatened or banned from something or start a whisper campaign against you so I can feel more important relative to you?! WAAAHHH!!!!

But really, that's a pretty broad generalization there, Amn... Here's my take:


The internet's a new advancement that we didn't evolve with. We evolved over millenia communicating face-to-face. Text removes many nonverbal cues and thus a lot of information is lost, hence the famous problem in conveying sarcasm online.

This information loss creates a void which makes our interpretation centers go into overdrive. With interpretation being overworked and no further information emerging from what is simply text, our brains fill in the gap with our own thoughts.

The resulting picture represents what we think of others and offers insights to our own minds more than it represents any reality. Some people look into the void and see enemies, slights and attacks wherever they go, when they may very well be well-meaning, good-natured folks, and so the insecure and suspicious alienate people who could be friends. Alternately, those with an abundance of optimism may well not see subtle slights, and pass them by, projecting their positivity into the void, and neglecting other things. We hear a lot about the former as perceived negativity is met with negativity and creates a lot of drama, but take notice of the latter rarely, because it provokes nothing beyond positivity, neutrality or non-response.

As we look into the void, the void looks also into us, y'know? So be mindful of that, and try to check yourselves when interpreting the remarks of others.

So the mechanisms are in place for a lot of miscommunication as well as the whole "persecution" angle everywhere on the 'net. All that's needed is a catalyst, a provocateur, or something that inspires the negativity just a little more often than elsewhere to explain why it seems that "ticklephiles" have "persecution issues". And it need be just a little more often because as negativity or perceived negativity provokes a negative response, a little dab of unwarranted nonsense or animosity can get things going between folks for days, weeks, even years, with people soon forming "sides" of the conflict to be on.

What could this be? Not tickling. It seems innocent enough.

It comes down to power in one form or another. Who's got it, who wants it, who's lost it. Around any instance of a shift in power, petty little political games emerge to cloud the issues and preserve power for one side while removing it from another.

Power is pretty easy to see here. It's all tied to losing or gaining face, improving or damaging a reputation and trust in the community, and through this, either increasing or decreasing ones access to friends and folks to play with. The grail/bellwether of these are Gatherings.

This site is pretty focused around gatherings. More so, I'd say, than Tickle Theater. Tickle Theater, I've noticed, has, in my estimation, much less drama (or maybe I'm missing it -- HDS, I'd love to hear your opinion). I've heard people in the past attribute our problems to size or activity, but I think it's the focus on gatherings and meeting folks here that is much more downplayed elsewhere.



Anyway, when it comes to the political games here and elsewhere, I've seen more than my share, and have learned a lot about separating gamesmanship and spin from substance, and more often than not, there's a lot more of the former than the latter, and it pays those who have less skill in telling the difference to steer clear.

I've a lot more to say on politics, games, spin, labels and the problems we've got here, but if I write much more, I'm sure I'll just wear out your eyes and lose you all, so that's it for now.

Be well, all.

 

[Johnny Ticklish]

True. And some tend to sneak around behind the scenes like little wet rats, getting others to be confrontational for them...

"Others" as in the senior administration, perhaps? 😉

...in various threads via false screen names...

Riiight...as opposed to the vast majority of "honest" people who only log into the TMF with their real life names. 🙄

 

[ticklebear2]

Crystal Light,

As many of the members know you and I do not usually agree or get along with one another, but I have to agree with you on this point. I have noticed as of late that there does seem to be a lot of negative threads and that those are the ones that get most attention. So as of right now I think I going to try and pay more attention to the positive threads.

I have to also agree with Tomskee

Yes, negativity can bring out spirited conversation, but why can't we have a serious positive conversation. Honestly, when I come home from work I would like to get on the forum and be able to relax and not get involved in a negative debate, but the debate always ends up drawing me in. I guess that I am on that has voice his opinion.