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Help: Telling GF about Fetish or Not

T

ticklee4life

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Apr 13, 2008
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Hello,

I apologize if this has been brought up before, I'm sure it has. But I'm in a unique situation. I've been dating a girl that's a really "good" girl for almost a month now. We hook up, but we haven't done much. She is EXTREMELY ticklish, and I tickle her all the time. She seems to bring it up regularly and she tries to tickle me almost every time I see her. This being said, I know she does not have a tickling fetish. I think she sees it as a fun way of being flirty. I didn't tell my last girlfriend about my fetish, although I came close. But since I'm in college and care less about the potential embarrassment (sorry, not trying to offend anyone--I just don't want it getting out that I have a huge tickling fetish) I'm thinking about telling her. I have NO idea how she would react. The two things holding me back are 1.) Her thinking it's strange/not her thing and 2.)she lives in my hometown and it getting out could still very easily happen.

I'd love nothing more than for her to have me tied up, helplessly and tickle me. As well as for me to return the favor. I just don't know if it's worth the potential consequences. Any insight or help from people that have been in a situation like this before would be greatly appreciated. I should also note I've never told anyone in person about my fetish. Once again, I'm not trying to offend anyone by saying that the fetish is embarrassing.

Thanks in advance.
 
I'd say just tell her. My fiancee was a good girl too. I took my time and eventually just said it. She saw tickling as fun but not a fetish. It was odd at first but she took to it quickly and developed a love of being tickled. Helped bring out her wilder side as well. I'd say just pick the right time and go for it.
 
I've been through something similar myself...

Since then I've learned that most girlfriends will be receptive to your likes. But I've also learned that you can deceive yourself into thinking a purely physical connection is the real thing. So my advice is to tread carefully.
 
Thank you both for your input.

If you don't mind me asking, were both of your girls willing to 'try' tickling/bondage (that's what I'm interested in, not light tickling) or did that take some more time as well?
 
ticklee4life said:
Hello,

I apologize if this has been brought up before, I'm sure it has. But I'm in a unique situation. I've been dating a girl that's a really "good" girl for almost a month now. We hook up, but we haven't done much. She is EXTREMELY ticklish, and I tickle her all the time. She seems to bring it up regularly and she tries to tickle me almost every time I see her. This being said, I know she does not have a tickling fetish. I think she sees it as a fun way of being flirty. I didn't tell my last girlfriend about my fetish, although I came close. But since I'm in college and care less about the potential embarrassment (sorry, not trying to offend anyone--I just don't want it getting out that I have a huge tickling fetish) I'm thinking about telling her. I have NO idea how she would react. The two things holding me back are 1.) Her thinking it's strange/not her thing and 2.)she lives in my hometown and it getting out could still very easily happen.

I'd love nothing more than for her to have me tied up, helplessly and tickle me. As well as for me to return the favor. I just don't know if it's worth the potential consequences. Any insight or help from people that have been in a situation like this before would be greatly appreciated. I should also note I've never told anyone in person about my fetish. Once again, I'm not trying to offend anyone by saying that the fetish is embarrassing.

Thanks in advance.
Click to expand...

Ooh, that is a slippery situation. And no offense taken about not wanting to be embarrassed about your fetish because personally I would not want anyone to know about my fetishes either unless I knew for certain that person also had the same fetish.

If you are going to tell her, I would let it "ease out at an opportune moment" rather than take the "confession" approach. For instance, let her tickle you and while you are playfully resisting, just sometime along the lines "you have no idea what that does to me". If she comes back and says "Oh yeah? Then how about we find out?", you'll know for a fact that she feels the same way and she shares the same fetish (which would be why everytime she sees you, she tries to tickle you everytime she sees you).

However, if she stops and give you a strange look and says something along the lines of "what do you mean by that?", "what was that supposed to mean?" or just says "Oh, I see." and backs away from you, you'll know she thinks it's odd, is creeped out, and is most likely going to talk to all of her girlfriends about it the next time she is with them.

Ultimately, I would go with c7 assassin's approach. You very well could be skating over thin ice. And if that ice happens to break, what you don't know is whether the water is going to be up to your knees or way over your head.
 
ticklee4life said:
Thank you both for your input.

If you don't mind me asking, were both of your girls willing to 'try' tickling/bondage (that's what I'm interested in, not light tickling) or did that take some more time as well?
Click to expand...

Oh yes, and once they'd learned about it, it almost felt like they were more eager than I was. 🙂

On the other hand, I was getting them to lee, not ler...but I can't imagine a woman would mind tying up her boyfriend. :shrug:
 
the way i see it, if you tell her and she goes weird on you over it then shes not your type. You cant really lose 🙂 Tell her, and do it confidently, shel probably think its cute 🙂
 
OK. I appreciate everyone's input. The thought of being with the girl I like so much AND finally being able to enjoy my fetish with another woman is definitely one that makes me happy. I agree with Haribish, but at the same time... as important as tickling and accepting my fetish is, if I knew it was the fetish or the girl, I'd take the girl in a heartbeat.

That said, she would probably be cool with it. I should just grow a pair and tell her how I really feel but this is the one aspect of my life that I have a very hard time being open with.

The thought of her tickling me tied up, or the other way around makes it seem worth it though 🙂
 
Yea, pretty common situation. And every thread I see, it reminds me of how it was for me. It never worked for me when I tried to tickle HER, but when I opened up by saying that I liked for HER to tickle ME, I had much better results. Now, I've only told one other girlfriend about my tickle fetish, an ex- from a few years back and I just blurted it out.

We were fooling around on the couch & in the process lightly tickling the other. She found a very ticklish spot, and I had to stop kissing her. She said, "Oh, sorry! Didn't know you were ticklish." - I told her "No, its OK, its kinda fun" - I don't know why I said it like that, but the next thing I knew, we were exploring each other's tickle spots. When I called her the next day, I started talking to her about tickling: how long I've liked, what it does for me & why I think I like it.

The point is, you just have to be honest with yourself & with her. If you really like her & are comfortable with her, you should want to open up & tell her what you like/want. I would assume she has no idea as to how much you're into it, so just take it easy & say something like "I don't know why exactly, but I just like tickling." If she responds well, go further about how it makes you feel. If she's confused, tell her why you think you like it & get her to think on your level.

Being in a relationship involves sharing what you have in common & discovering new things about each other that you could both enjoy. If you like her & she likes you, you should be fine. She will more than likely enjoy & want to delve deeper than recoil in disgust & run away.
 
In my case. She is all for it. And would not hesistate to tie me down and return the favor. Sometimes you just gotta go for it.
 
Well...she's your girlfriend. If you can't tell her, whom would you tell? I mean...she's supposed to have fun and games and sex with you...it makes no sense not to tell her. If she in any way looks down on you because of it, she's not the right girl anyways.
 
My advice would be that unless she already shows an enthusiasm for the concept of fetish in general, I would avoid the term "fetish" like the plague. If you decide to tell her anything, just tell her you love tickling her.
 
I would avoid the term "fetish" like the plague
Click to expand...

I agree...."Fetish" to a lot of people has a negative connotation...but it shouldn't hurt to tell her that it makes you hot to tickle her.
 
I would bring up to her slowly ...don't weird her out by being aggressive ..feather it out ...if she dose to you ...she might not be weirded out by it...but you should tell her no relationship wrks on a structure of dishonesty ...all be honest and up front.. just my opinion nothing more....good luck and god speed..

From a guy with a huge tickling fetish and foot fetish....
 
If I intend to be in a relationship, I've learned that being open and honest about who you are and what you like is more beneficial. By now I'm sure you two have been together for quite some time, at least in bf/gf years, and I don't see any reason why you should not tell her. Sit her down, explain that this is a difficult subject to talk about, but that you trust her to keep an open mind; then explain what you want and what you wish to try.

If she reacts positively and indulges you, wonderful.

If she reacts negatively and drops your ass, as Hari said, she wasn't the one for you and you just saved yourself a helluva lot heartache and stress later on in life.
 
For those who think that the OP should just come up and tell this girl he's seeing how he feels about tickling. I think what everyone is forgetting is this guy lives in a small town and he's afraid this will end up spreading like wildfire. This is something I can empathize with because in a small town, everybody knows each other and when something happens, everyone know about it within 5 mins. (figurately speaking).

The last thing I would like for anyone on this forum to go through would be getting weird glances, overhearing whispering loud enough for the person to purposely overhear "Is that the perv <insert name here> was talking about?", or a group of people all of the sudden start laughing at he walks pass them or just as he is leaving a public place more often than just the occassional coincidence. I've been through that before, even though it wasn't fetish related.

What advice would you offer for that? Is it a matter of saying "Screw what everyone else thinks"? Become more confident in yourself, therefore not letting what others think bother you?
 
I live in a small town of about 4000 people, and I'm very open about myself .. no one gives a crap.
 
'You know,when you tickle me it kind of turns me on but I don't know if i could sit still for it very long,you would probably. have to ttie me up...." and the door to opportunity opens....
 
For those who think that the OP should just come up and tell this girl he's seeing how he feels about tickling. I think what everyone is forgetting is this guy lives in a small town and he's afraid this will end up spreading like wildfire.
Click to expand...

If he can't trust this girl, why is she his girlfriend?
 
make it a game of writing down a few fantasies in a bowl and both have to be open minded and be quiet about it as in not telling others. Go form there. or loose a bet where it is your punishment,
 
ticklee4life said:
She is EXTREMELY ticklish, and I tickle her all the time. She seems to bring it up regularly and she tries to tickle me almost every time I see her. This being said, I know she does not have a tickling fetish. I think she sees it as a fun way of being flirty.
Click to expand...
How do you know she doesn't have a tickling fetish? At the very least, she seems to enjoy it a great deal.

ticklee4life said:
I'd love nothing more than for her to have me tied up, helplessly and tickle me. As well as for me to return the favor. I just don't know if it's worth the potential consequences.
Click to expand...

Nothing ventured, nothing gained. If that's what you want, there's no way to get it without taking some risk.
 
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