Some of my ex's have tried this with me and there was instant resentment. While your intent is good, he is well aware of the danger he is putting himself in. My reason for continuing is probably different from his, but if he doesn't want to stop, leave it alone because you WILL be the naggy-ass girlfriend.
However, if he does want to stop, try nicotine patches, gum, or a perhaps a visit to the doctor that may suggest some helpful things.
First he has to want to stop for himself, if not forget it, its not going to happen . If to he does decide to stop then I personally recommend "The easy way to stop smoking " By Alan Carr. It worked for me . The basic premise of this book is that nicotine is not nearly as strong a drug as we think it is and that most of the withdrawal symptons we feel are actually only anxiety about quiting rather than a physical effect. The book shows you how to deal with this anxiety first, and once youve done that. quiting is virtuaully withdrawal symptom free.
If you think he's ready (and it really has to be his idea), you might want to talk about "cutting down" rather than quitting cold turkey. As stroker very aptly pointed out, the anxiety of quitting is pretty powerful. My wife used to smoke a pack a day, now, she's down to a total of 2 or 3 cigarettes over the course of an entire day. She'll quit eventually, but for now, it's a huge improvement.
^This is all good information. It has to be his idea, and he has to WANT to.
This is pretty much it as I see things. I smoked for over thirty years and it was tough to try and just quit. I had my moment of truth sitting right here and lighting one up. I took the day off because I thought I had a bad cold. The first drag of that cigarette felt like my lungs were on fire and no matter what I did I couldn't draw a breath of air. That feeling was new to me, very painful and frightening. I finally got enough air to drag myself to my doctor's office at the hospital. What got me was borderline pneumonia along with borderline broncitis....I never had these before. So now instead of some half asses stab at quitting I had a real reason. Every time I craved a smoke I remembered the pain and what it was like laying on the floor in my den, unable to breathe. That was what got me to quit.
Emily, your friend has to truly have the desire to quit. Everyone's reasons are different. If he ever has the circumstance, his own deep personal reason, or just plain scare like I had then he will tough it out and give them up. If he can weather that first giant craving then he can remember what it felt like and they will start getting milder and there will be more time between the craving until they go away. But He has to want to quit. You can't do it for him. And he may have a short fuse for a month or so, depending upon his personality.
Another incentive......I smoked two packs a day....5 bucks a pack for a long time. The math is I am now saving about 250 to 280 dollars a month. Multiply that by 12. I hope your friend beats smoking, Emily.
^This is also good information. There needs to be some sort of reason for him to WANT to quit, whether fear of not being able to breathe, or getting too pissed off about the cost, or even if it DID happen to irritate you with it making it difficult for YOU to breathe (Granted, the way around that is to go outside, but one can always display irritation about lingering odors and bad breath--NOT THAT I'M ENCOURAGING you to be the "pain in the butt" girlfriend. That can work, but also backfire!
😉 😛 ).
Basically, before you can get to helping him in any way, he has to want to help himself, first. That's going to be the hard part, because something like this... people tend to take the health risks for granted, like small, miniature transactions being drained from one's 'bank account of life', until Death passes by, casually grazing one's lungs or throat in passing, giving them that friendly reminder, "You're approaching your limit. Soon, it's going to be time to pay up." I don't know how old either of you are, but I'm speculating that he's a younger guy, and that horrible day of agonizing, deathly coughing fits are a long way off. It's kinda like life insurance, or purchasing cemetery real estate, something younger people simply don't worry about, because it's not gonna happen anytime soon.
If I were in your shoes, I think I'd simply BE the "pain in the butt" significant other who simply doesn't want to put up with the annoying aspects, because at a younger age, that's more likely to be effective. Granted, that sounds a little 'ultimatum-ish', and it CAN completely backfire, but if you're truly concerned about the health risks down the road, why should you have to suffer watching somebody you care deeply for slowly kill themselves? You're still young, and you've got a whole life of opportunities and experiences down the road that you shouldn't be bogged down worrying about the repercussions of someone's bad personal health choice? To me, if you don't try to put your hands directly in making him quit, but... I dunno, maybe avoid kissing him, or standing too close when he lights up, or giving other passive hints that it's not something you want to deal with, but you're not going to try to stop him, it has the potential to plant the idea in his head to try to quit, because how often is he gonna wanna swig mouthwash, pop gum or breath-mints, and Febreeze his clothes before he decides it's too much work? If it's his idea, he'll be more inclined to try harder, and he can't really resent you for it, because you're not TELLING him or MAKING him quit. You're just not putting up with nasty things you shouldn't have to deal with. It's not like something he CAN'T do anything about that a supportive girlfriend should 'have to accept'. He'd be wrong to tell you so. I understand if you don't wanna go this route, because I know it sounds 'dickish', but it's gonna be hard otherwise, because people aren't emotionally affected by health risks until they're physically affected.
