Hotel..

[Mitchell]

I'm back at the hotel, after a 12 day hospital stay for my mom.

She almost died from a antibiotic resistant infection. I almost got arrested, I yelled at a hospital evaluator, who was verbally abusing my mom and me, and the bitch called security. We made it through. Now, we are hopefully back at the hotel, until Monday at latest, when we can hopefully go home to Lancaster.

Others are waiting to use the computer. I hope to get back on later tonight. Just wanted to let everyone know I was back with some computer access.

Mitch

 

[Mitchell]

Okay, I'm back on. Now I hopefully dont have to rush off.

Heres the situation. A "hospital case management evaluator", who my mom had trouble with in the past, came to our room on Tuesday, and began talking to my mom in a cold, condescending tone of voice. My mom got upset. All I said to the woman was: "How can you be in the field you are in, and talk to an old woman with cancer like this?!". In a very condescending tone, she said: "Mitchell, I'm not talking to you, I'm talkiing to your mother. This is none of your business". None of my business? This is my mother's life, you bitch! I raised my voice, and said something like : "I'm her son, her next of kin, and her legal decision maker if shes impaired. How the hell is it none of my business". Next thing I knew, the bitch said "I'm calling security". She left, and a security guard came in. She finished her speech, and left. I was ready to smack the bitch, because of how she was upsetting my mom, but I never told her that.

When Dr B came, and I told him the story, he thought she had crossed the line. He knows that I have NEVER raised my voice or spoken disrespectfully to Dr C or him. Finally, we talked to a social worker, and straighened our issues out with the bitch, with the social worker in the room. I swear, if she had called security to remove me, I would have called the hospital president, and told him if he didnt fire her, I was going to find a lawyer and sue her for harassment. Luckily, the whole thing got ironed out.

It was a very, very upsetting week. Thankfully, Dr C had a very productive conversation with my mom and me today. He told us to go home, and rest. The next appt with him is not for a month, with the scan in two months.

Hopefully, we can have a quiet few days at the hotel, and go back to Lancaster by Monday. I hope and pray that this odyessy will end up being productive for my mom's cancer treatment.

Mitch

 

[kurchatovium]

Okay, I'm back on. Now I hopefully dont have to rush off.

Heres the situation. A "hospital case management evaluator", who my mom had trouble with in the past, came to our room on Tuesday, and began talking to my mom in a cold, condescending tone of voice. My mom got upset. All I said to the woman was: "How can you be in the field you are in, and talk to an old woman with cancer like this?!". In a very condescending tone, she said: "Mitchell, I'm not talking to you, I'm talkiing to your mother. This is none of your business". None of my business? This is my mother's life, you bitch! I raised my voice, and said something like : "I'm her son, her next of kin, and her legal decision maker if shes impaired. How the hell is it none of my business". Next thing I knew, the bitch said "I'm calling security". She left, and a security guard came in. She finished her speech, and left. I was ready to smack the bitch, because of how she was upsetting my mom, but I never told her that.

When Dr B came, and I told him the story, he thought she had crossed the line. He knows that I have NEVER raised my voice or spoken disrespectfully to Dr C or him. Finally, we talked to a social worker, and straighened our issues out with the bitch, with the social worker in the room. I swear, if she had called security to remove me, I would have called the hospital president, and told him if he didnt fire her, I was going to find a lawyer and sue her for harassment. Luckily, the whole thing got ironed out.

It was a very, very upsetting week. Thankfully, Dr C had a very productive conversation with my mom and me today. He told us to go home, and rest. The next appt with him is not for a month, with the scan in two months.

Hopefully, we can have a quiet few days at the hotel, and go back to Lancaster by Monday. I hope and pray that this odyessy will end up being productive for my mom's cancer treatment.

Mitch

Sorry you had to go through that my friend. 🙁 Sheesh its amazing sometimes to me how some people get the jobs they do. I mean really the hospital should fire her with an attitude like that she is a lawsuit waiting to happen.

Hopefully things get better for you and your mom. You are always in my thoughts and prayers my good friend. 🙂

 

[Ishaanshah]

Sorry to hear that my friend. I think, they should fire her as soon as possible.

 

[love feet]

🙁!!!!!!!

 

[Mitchell]

Thanks, kurch. We did go through a lot the past two weeks. Just so you know, my mom went ballistic at Dr B for what this woman did to me. My mom claims that if the woman had actually thrown me out, that my mom would have gone with me, and then my mom would have sued the woman on a claim of maklng my mom's condition worse.

If God Forbid my mom has to return to the hospital, we are going to refuse to talk to this woman except through a third party. There was another woman there who has a similar job to the bitch who I had the problem with, , who also talked to my mom in a tone, where the woman was playing with our minds. That woman should also lose her job.

Thanks, Ish. I wish they would fire her too.

Thanks love feet. I appreciate it my friend.

I'm just happy to be back with at least some access to my friends. I sincerely hope that by Monday, or Tuesday at latest, we are home in Lancaster, barring God Forbid any setbacks. We have not been home since June 19th, and have been home six days since May 26rh. I've missed almost all of baseball season, even though I know my mom's treatment is far more important than that. Hopefully, we can get back to some normal routine.

Mitch

 

[Mitchell]

As if my stay here hasnt been long enough, I just found out it may be even a few days longer.

Dr B has to see my mom to take blood, and examine her, and the only appointment he had was late Monday afternoon. We need to see the results of the tests first, before we go home. This means we will be here at least another 24 hours longer than we thought, and perhaps even more than that. The earliest we will be home is Tuesday night, and maybe even later in the week.

We had one nurse in the hospital, Jenny, who we are especially fond of, who helped my mom the night I had my seizure. She worked several nights when we were in the hospital this past visit, and I had long talks with her. She's a great person, but married, unfortunately. Jenny told me that she thinks my mom is afraid to go home, because of being so far away from the Drs. While I certainly understand that, the reality is, we have to go home sometime.

I hope we get out of here Tuesday. As my mom's treatment is over for now, it would be nice to get back to regular TMF time, baseball, work, regular life, etc. Everyone knows that I'm always Mr supportive son, and that I love my mom to the ends of the earth. I just hope that we can get back to some normalcy, both for her sake, and so I can have a bit of a break as well.

Mitch

 

[Leo tickles]

People will be people. I'm glad the situation blew over and everything is returning to normal with her health.

I hope you two get to go home soon and resume life the way you knew it before any of this happened.

 

[Mitchell]

Thanks, Leo. I appreciate the support, my friend.

Mitch

 

[Mitchell]

I'm beginning to think the simple fact is that my mom just doesnt want to go home. To be honest, I'm at my wits end, a bit.

Her Dr appt is tomorrow. Logically, there is no reason we couldnt go home tomorrow evening, or at latest, Tuesday morning. I asked her to please call the guy that drives us, to tell him we're going home, to give him notice, because often he will interject his own personal plans, over what we need, even though he hasnt worked much the last two months.

Her reply was that she will not even discuss going home, until after we see the Dr tomorrow. Fine. We will be finished with him by 4pm, so there is no reason she cant call the guy, and we can get home Tuesday.. but no.

She went off on me, for no reason, even though she knows that at the hotel, I have no baseball games, no TMF, no movies, etc, and am going crazy. She says: "We wont be going home until at least Wednesday, or even longer, we will go home whenever I say, and maybe you would be better off if I was dead!"

That is melodramatic, and cruel. NO DOCTOR told us she is going to die. It isnt even in the picture. Everyone knows I am Mr supportive son, and that I have been with her every step of the way. I just think that with treatment, and Dr visits over, for as long as we would have been here, I have a right to do a few things I want to as well.

Bottom line: She doesnt want to confront her fear of going home. This trip has already lasted 3-4 weeks longer than we planned, due to a week being added for radiation, and the two week hospitalization. Fine. I get that. I know medical things cant be controlled. I think that when
treatment is over, its time to go home.

I have no reason to believe she is leaving here, with the way she is acting. I can understand her not wanting to go back to being 150 miles from her Drs. However, she knows if God Forbid there is a problem, we can always come back up here, and they can readmit her to the hospital.

I'm beginning to think that all is fine, as long as my mom has control of how things are done.

The other problem is, that I have had to deal with this all by myself. My aunts are incapable of dealing with this. I have no siblings, no father, etc.

I'm sorry to rant. Everyone knows that I am willing to do whatever it takes to extend my mom's life. I'm committed to this. However, I just feel that when there is no more treatment involved, that I have some rights as well.

Oh, this is not to mention that the Dr offered her an appt on Friday, which meant we could have left yesterday, but she declined. "I'll do it Monday". She said.

Wednesday.. Yeah.. Right. Maybe Wednesday.. in a month from now.

As I said again, sorry to rant, but my mom is really behaving impossibly. I've had to share a hotel room or hospital room with her, every minute, of every day, except for when I've walked down the hall, since June 19th. I just want some privacy, and some distraction for myself. After as much as I've supported her, and will always continue to, I think I am entitled to that.

Mitch

 

[maniactickler]

These are indeed very stressful times. keep your chin up and keep fighting.

 

[Mitchell]

Thanks, maniac.

bill, thanks for your insight. I know that you arent saying it to be disrespectful. There are two problems.

One, her actual treatment is over. It has been for three weeks. We stayed up here longer than planned, because of her long hospitalization, and now because of a Dr appt. As I said, I understand that she wants to stay for the Dr appt tomorrow, but its how shes handling it thats bothering me.'

Two, going home seperately is not an option, as we dont drive. It would cost $200 extra if we did it that way. Not wise considering all the money we've already spent here. I have to grit it out, difficult as it is.
'
Yes, we have been couped up here seemingly forever. Nearly two months, with no break. We were originally going to go home every 2-3 weeks on the weekend, for a break, until the Dr told her he didnt want her to travel. The treatment would have been over in mid July, but the two hospitalizations pushed things back.

I'm just frustrated. I know my mom is going through a hard time, and I always will be there to support her. I'm hopeful that she lives up to her promise of going home after the Dr appt tomorrow, unless something God Forbid bad happens. If all is okay, and she still refuses, then I'm going to have a serious discussion with her.

Mitch

 

[Angel_2]

maybe at the dr appt tomorrow if your mother is medically cleared you can have the doctor speak to her and tell her that there is no reason to stay anymore. Its ok to go home and just take it easy. you fighting with your mom won't help anything but I understand your want to go home and get back to a normal life. Best of luck, friend.

 

[Mitchell]

Thanks for your support, and your suggestion, Angel. I think you have a good idea. If all goes well, I will ask the Dr to tell her its okay to go home.

Yes, I know fighting doesnt help. Things have calmed down. I'm trying to think of it that if I can survive seven weeks here, I can survive another 3 days.

Mitch

 

[Angel77]

Just remember, caretakers need to be taken care of sometimes too. 🙂

Believe me.

 

[Mitchell]

Trust me, I know. No one is there to take care of me. I have to take care of myself.

Mitch

 

[Leo tickles]

The way it was explained to me was that no human has any realm of experience in dealing with death or a terminal illness. Because of this, and everything that's happened since this all started, your mom is acting irrationally because she is afraid. With the doctors close, she feels more secure that should something happen, they can take care of it right away.

I'm with Bill here. Spend the extra money and go home. You can't fight her on it, but you also can't sit there for weeks on end. It'll end in an explosion which won't be beneficial to anybody. You can support her all you want, and I probably would, too, if it was somebody I cared about. But the imminent danger is over. Her fear is something she'll get through and if it's affecting you this negatively, she may have to do it without you. That won't cancel out everything you've done for her up until this point, it'll just propel you to move forward with YOUR life. I think she'd want that.

 

[giggle-maker]

I think Angel_2 has the best advice so far with having the doctor give your mom his approval to go home. This will be beneficial for two reasons. One, he will act as the necessary go-between so your mom won't feel ambushed by you to go home. Two, based on what you've described so far, she puts a lot of trust in her doctors and having him tell her it's ok to go home might ease her concern about having to be there at the hospital.

 

[Mitchell]

Leo, while I appreciate your advice, and know it is sincere. I cant go home. To be honest, I'm afraid to leave her, and she really cant take care of herself here without me..

giggle-maker. as I told Angel, I agree with the advice you mentioned.

We are supposed to see the Dr this afternoon. After her examination, when we all meet, I'm going to discuss this with him. He knows how much money we've spent to be here these past two months. I'm going to ask the Dr to give my mom approval to go home. God willing, he will, and God willing, my mom will listen.

Mitch