How Blonde Was She?.......

[venray]

She was Soooooooo Blonde that...


* At the bottom of an application where it says “Sign here” she wrote “Sagittarius.”

* She had a shirt that said “TGIF,” which she thought stood for “This Goes In Front.”

* She sent a fax with a stamp on it.

* She sold the car for gas money.

* She spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice can because it said “Concentrate.”

* She studied for a blood test.

* She thinks Taco Bell is the Mexican phone company.

* She thought a quarterback was a refund.

* She thought Boyz II Men was a day care center.

* She thought General Motors was in the army.

* She thought if she spoke her mind, she'd be speechless.

* She thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats.

* She thought that she could not use her AM radio in the evening.

* She told me to meet her at the corner of “WALK” and “DON'T WALK.”

* She took the ruler to bed to see how long she slept.

* She tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.

* She tripped over a cordless phone.

* Under “education” on her job application, she put “Hooked On Phonics.”

* When she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.

* When she missed bus #44 she took bus #22 twice instead.

* When she went to the airport and saw a sign that said, “Airport Left” - she turned around and went home.


😛 😛 😛 😛 😛 😛

 

[isabeau]

isabeau

 

[milagros317]

LMAO 😛
Very funny, Venray. 😀

 

[venray]

Blonde Astronauts

At a press conference the Brunettes announce they are going to make a trip to the Moon.

The Redheads speak up "That's been done before, we're going to go to Mars".

The Blondes speak up "That's nothing, we're going to be the first people to go to the Sun".

One of the reporters says "Don't you know that you'll burn up?"

The Blondes say "NO WE WON'T; WE'RE GOING TO GO AT NIGHT!"

 

[tulipangel]

LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[isabeau]

ok venray.. this means war... all out war... how could you???? what have us sexy blondes ever done to you???? hmmm


isabeau

tsk tsk mils and tulip for laughing...

 

[unclebill]

I believe Isabeau recently purchased some TGIF brand shoes.(toes go in first) 😱

 

[venray]

ok venray.. this means war... all out war... how could you???? what have us sexy blondes ever done to you???? hmmm

Obviously not enough.................

 

[isabeau]

Obviously not enough.................

um huh????

isabeau

ps unclebill... go adopt a puppy ok??/ and make it a blonde puppy hehehe

 

[venray]

A blonde goes for a job interview in an office. The interviewer starts with the basics. "So, Miss, can you tell us your age, please?"

The blonde counts carefully on her fingers for half a minute before replying. "Um ... 22."

The interviewer tries another straightforward one to break the ice. "And can you tell us your height, please?"

The young lady stands up and produces a measuring tape from her handbag. She then traps one end under her foot and extends the tape to the top of her head. She checks the measurement and announces, "Five foot two!"

This isn't looking good so the interviewer goes for the real basics; something the she won't have to count, measure, or lookup. "Just to confirm for our records, your name please?"

The blonde bobs her head from side to side for about fifteen seconds, mouthing something silently to herself, before replying, "Melanie!"

The interviewer is completely baffled at this stage, so he asks, "What were you doing when I asked you your name?"

"Oh, that!" replies the blonde," I was just running through that song, 'Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear...'"

 

[isabeau]

ok now you have gone too far..... why didn't you just have her say her name was melanie???/ grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

isabeau

 

[isabeau]

omg you did........ grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

 

[venray]

Blonde's Dogs

A girl was visiting her blonde friend who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were.

The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.

Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?"

"Helloooooo," answered the blonde. "They're watch dogs!"

 

[isabeau]

Blonde's Dogs

A girl was visiting her blonde friend who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were.

The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.

Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?"

"Helloooooo," answered the blonde. "They're watch dogs!"

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

 

[venray]

A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, "PULLOVER! - NO," the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"




A State Trooper pulls a car over on a lonely back road and approaches the blonde lady driver. "Ma'am, is there a reason that you're weaving all over the road?"

The woman replied, "Oh officer, thank goodness you're here! I almost had an accident! I looked up and there was a tree right in front of me. I swerved to the left and there was another tree in front of me. I swerved to the right and there was another tree in front of me!"

Reaching through the side window to the rear view mirror, the officer replied, "Ma'am... that's your air freshener."

 

[isabeau]

grrrrrrrrrrrr in the name of all smart blondes.... i am declaring war... war i say war against all those that think we are dumb...... grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr i uh o venray you know i wuv you...

isabeau

 

[venray]

A blonde was having financial troubles so she decided to kidnap a child and demand a ransom. She went to a local park, grabbed a little boy, took him behind a tree and wrote this note: "I have kidnapped your child. Leave $10,000 in a plain brown bag behind the big oak tree in the park tomorrow at 7 AM. Signed, The Blonde"
She pinned the note inside the boy's jacket and told him to go straight home. The next morning, she returned to the park to find the $10,000 in a brown bag, behind the big oak tree, just as she had instructed. Also inside the bag was the following note... "Here is your money. I cannot believe that one blonde would do this to another!"



(LoL.....ditto hon.... )

 

[isabeau]

A blonde was having financial troubles so she decided to kidnap a child and demand a ransom. She went to a local park, grabbed a little boy, took him behind a tree and wrote this note: "I have kidnapped your child. Leave $10,000 in a plain brown bag behind the big oak tree in the park tomorrow at 7 AM. Signed, The Blonde"
She pinned the note inside the boy's jacket and told him to go straight home. The next morning, she returned to the park to find the $10,000 in a brown bag, behind the big oak tree, just as she had instructed. Also inside the bag was the following note... "Here is your money. I cannot believe that one blonde would do this to another!"



(LoL.....ditto hon.... )

um venray.... as in the pm... i don't get this one.... and don't laugh grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

 

[venray]

😛 😛 😛 😛 😛

 

[HeavenlyTickle]

grrrrrrrrrrrr in the name of all smart blondes.... i am declaring war... war i say war against all those that think we are dumb......

I'm with you on this!

 

[Mz Chaos]

ROFFLMFAO! Bravo Venray!!! I loved them all!!!

 

[venray]

A blonde girl enters a store that sells curtains. She tells the salesman, “I would like to buy a pink curtain in the size of my computer screen.”

The surprised salesman replies, “But, madam, computers do not have curtains.”

And the blonde said, “Helloooo… I've got Windows!”

 

[unit5610]

I like them all but the car freshener one on the previous page is a classic!!

 

[ticklishscribe]

Where Do You Find These!!!

I can't breath I'm laughing so hard. you're a pipster my friend, a real pipster.

 

[isabeau]

sighs.. i re read the joke i didn't get last night. and in the sobering daylight i got it.. wow what a silly i am. a blonde indeed, and when uh indulging, a blonder blonde than usual..

isabeau