MetaCortex719
Registered User
- Joined
- Aug 29, 2005
- Messages
- 27
- Points
- 0
Hello, folks.
My name is Drew, I'm 21/m from Orlando, FL. Some of you may know me from the chatroom, most of you probably won't. What will probably cross you as 'freaky' is that though you most likely don't know who I am, I've pretty good knowledge of a lot of you. I'm what you would call a 'lurker'. I've been stumbling around this forum since its inception, on various screen names, but hardly ever posting. In some ways, it almost seems greedy to reap the benefits of the discussions of others without really contributing to them. I suppose that's part of the dilemma. If you have the time, I have a bit of a story that I'd like to tell. I'm writing this to unleash some things that have been on my chest for the majority of my life, and because I know that at least most of you will understand.
I'm a pretty normal kid/young adult/adolescent/geek/fetishist/person that leads a somewhat normal and meaningful life. I have a steady and well-paying job, a supportive family, an '03 model car, a nice apartment. However, it seems I have a couple of problems.
The first is that when I was very young (infancy), I developed a rare form of cancer under my right eye. It was cured, but only with heavy doses of radiation and chemotherapy, leaving me blind on that side, and my eye to look a bit... different. Not bad, but different. I'm not, by any means, including this detail so that I can receive sympathy in any form, it is only described here to provide further understanding by those (if any) reading this.
The other issue is that I have a tickle fetish. Along with this, I have the seemingly inevitable foot fetish.
I'm not a convert, I've had these things since I could remember. Most of you veterans probably know of the infamous nickelodeon commercial in which they got a group of kids with (at the time) similair ages to mine and told them to tickle each others' feet. First seeing this in my parents' living room, I dazedly turned off the tv and layed there in silence, stunned.
Since then, it's been the same basic story as each and every one of you tell - trying to find and exploit every possible opportunity to either tickle someone, get tickled, or both (for me, the latter). Then I found a search engine, and my social life seemingly stopped.
This site, MTP, realtickling, and even ropejock sucked in every free moment that I could spare, with only decent success in managing to have privacy. Every site, picture, and peice of tickle art that I came across created a new amazement - that there was someone, male or female, probably halfway across the country, actually shared this weird thing for tickling. Sometimes, this spare time was interrupted by a walk-in by my parents, who reacted with confusion, combing through the history of my web browser, and most often, rage.
Elementary, middle, and high school was filled to the brim with those who would stare at my facial abnormality and would react in the way natural to all humans - to avoid what they don't understand. I had very sparse friends (the people in the cafeteria that no one else would sit with) at school, and even fewer now. As is normal with kids, this drained my self-confidence levels into the single digits and caused me to become extremely intro-verted. I developed an inability to understand and relate to other kids of my age group, and my pasttimes became playing the piano and reading. I would see and hear other kids brag about how drunk they had gotten, or how much fun it was to steal someone's dirty underwear at a scavenger hunt the weekend prior. I was never vocal about this, but I didn't understand it... and it made my unacceptance by them that much easier to deal with.
But the lonliness didn't get any easier.
I turned more and more to the computer - surely it'll be easier to meet someone without the obstacle of physical differences getting in the way of a real first impression. This site and others like it became a bit of a haven. Here were other people (though most were older) that I could at least connect with on something. The lack of a social life promoted the fantasies, the thoughts, the daydreaming of tickling and feathers and giggles and squirming... all of this combined with a very high level of the affection and closeness that I wasn't getting from my peers. My parents' inability to understand made matters worse, and only solidified the idea that my 'perversions' were weird and should be ignored by me.
However, as time passed, I slowly realized that this wasn't getting me anywhere. I watched threads, sat in the chatroom, saw gatherings being formed, and people that were connected here get married.
Things haven't gotten much better. I watch threads. I sit in the chatoom. I watch people talking about gatherings (why does everyone here seem to live up north!?).
I'm here because I'm looking for people to connect to. I'm here because the people here, though I know not most of them, have something in common with me that doesn't have anything to do with slight physical abnormalities or what their definition of a good time is.
This isn't a sympathy request, meaningless ramble, or personals ad. I guess this is me opening up to all of you as a formal introduction. I don't know why I've decided to expose this much, perhaps it's to let you know where I'm coming from, and perhaps it's to let everyone else on this site that's like me that they're not alone in feeling a sense of slight dispair.
I'd like to get to know each and every one of you. I'd be ecstatic to share a beer with any of you. I'd like to develop friendships, and most of all I'd like to be connected with people that aren't immediatly judgemental, decently intelligent, share a common interest, and are open to discovering more. My AIM, Yahoo, and MSN are given out freely, along with a listening ear and a friendly desire to see a smile.
I hope this works....
My name is Drew, I'm 21/m from Orlando, FL. Some of you may know me from the chatroom, most of you probably won't. What will probably cross you as 'freaky' is that though you most likely don't know who I am, I've pretty good knowledge of a lot of you. I'm what you would call a 'lurker'. I've been stumbling around this forum since its inception, on various screen names, but hardly ever posting. In some ways, it almost seems greedy to reap the benefits of the discussions of others without really contributing to them. I suppose that's part of the dilemma. If you have the time, I have a bit of a story that I'd like to tell. I'm writing this to unleash some things that have been on my chest for the majority of my life, and because I know that at least most of you will understand.
I'm a pretty normal kid/young adult/adolescent/geek/fetishist/person that leads a somewhat normal and meaningful life. I have a steady and well-paying job, a supportive family, an '03 model car, a nice apartment. However, it seems I have a couple of problems.
The first is that when I was very young (infancy), I developed a rare form of cancer under my right eye. It was cured, but only with heavy doses of radiation and chemotherapy, leaving me blind on that side, and my eye to look a bit... different. Not bad, but different. I'm not, by any means, including this detail so that I can receive sympathy in any form, it is only described here to provide further understanding by those (if any) reading this.
The other issue is that I have a tickle fetish. Along with this, I have the seemingly inevitable foot fetish.
I'm not a convert, I've had these things since I could remember. Most of you veterans probably know of the infamous nickelodeon commercial in which they got a group of kids with (at the time) similair ages to mine and told them to tickle each others' feet. First seeing this in my parents' living room, I dazedly turned off the tv and layed there in silence, stunned.
Since then, it's been the same basic story as each and every one of you tell - trying to find and exploit every possible opportunity to either tickle someone, get tickled, or both (for me, the latter). Then I found a search engine, and my social life seemingly stopped.
This site, MTP, realtickling, and even ropejock sucked in every free moment that I could spare, with only decent success in managing to have privacy. Every site, picture, and peice of tickle art that I came across created a new amazement - that there was someone, male or female, probably halfway across the country, actually shared this weird thing for tickling. Sometimes, this spare time was interrupted by a walk-in by my parents, who reacted with confusion, combing through the history of my web browser, and most often, rage.
Elementary, middle, and high school was filled to the brim with those who would stare at my facial abnormality and would react in the way natural to all humans - to avoid what they don't understand. I had very sparse friends (the people in the cafeteria that no one else would sit with) at school, and even fewer now. As is normal with kids, this drained my self-confidence levels into the single digits and caused me to become extremely intro-verted. I developed an inability to understand and relate to other kids of my age group, and my pasttimes became playing the piano and reading. I would see and hear other kids brag about how drunk they had gotten, or how much fun it was to steal someone's dirty underwear at a scavenger hunt the weekend prior. I was never vocal about this, but I didn't understand it... and it made my unacceptance by them that much easier to deal with.
But the lonliness didn't get any easier.
I turned more and more to the computer - surely it'll be easier to meet someone without the obstacle of physical differences getting in the way of a real first impression. This site and others like it became a bit of a haven. Here were other people (though most were older) that I could at least connect with on something. The lack of a social life promoted the fantasies, the thoughts, the daydreaming of tickling and feathers and giggles and squirming... all of this combined with a very high level of the affection and closeness that I wasn't getting from my peers. My parents' inability to understand made matters worse, and only solidified the idea that my 'perversions' were weird and should be ignored by me.
However, as time passed, I slowly realized that this wasn't getting me anywhere. I watched threads, sat in the chatroom, saw gatherings being formed, and people that were connected here get married.
Things haven't gotten much better. I watch threads. I sit in the chatoom. I watch people talking about gatherings (why does everyone here seem to live up north!?).
I'm here because I'm looking for people to connect to. I'm here because the people here, though I know not most of them, have something in common with me that doesn't have anything to do with slight physical abnormalities or what their definition of a good time is.
This isn't a sympathy request, meaningless ramble, or personals ad. I guess this is me opening up to all of you as a formal introduction. I don't know why I've decided to expose this much, perhaps it's to let you know where I'm coming from, and perhaps it's to let everyone else on this site that's like me that they're not alone in feeling a sense of slight dispair.
I'd like to get to know each and every one of you. I'd be ecstatic to share a beer with any of you. I'd like to develop friendships, and most of all I'd like to be connected with people that aren't immediatly judgemental, decently intelligent, share a common interest, and are open to discovering more. My AIM, Yahoo, and MSN are given out freely, along with a listening ear and a friendly desire to see a smile.
I hope this works....
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Not to worry~we'll find you someone~having the guts to come out is step one. 
