How much do you tell...

[TickleMyFancy]

I don't tell anyone who I'm not either A) Pretty sure they'll find it more interesting than awkward AND I would like to tickle them or B)Dating.

Otherwise, I just don't feel like anyone else needs to know. I keep a lot of personal details just that- personal. My friends don't need to know, nor would they want to know, any of my kinks. That knowledge is just for the 'special' people in my life.

And, well, all you fellow TMF-ers 🙂

 

[MaleTickleeDC]

The condescension isn't really necessary, is it? ...I think to most people it's fairly benign, especially if they are truly good friends/girlfriend/boyfriend, whatever. You've quite obviously had some bad experiences.

I was in a cranky mood last night, and I admit that I did come off sounding like a d-bag. So I apologize to anyone who was offended by the condescension and general d-baggery 🙂

As to whether most people will find tickling a benign subject, I think that the best analogy is for us to imagine a fetish that we've never even considered to be a fetish and then envision how we'd react. So if a friend came out to us that he or she was into, say, oatmeal, and nothing was more sexual than oatmeal to him or her, well, even we would probably find that to be a bit different. And we're fetishists, so we can sort of relate. But to a vanilla person, who never thinks about fetishes, they experience both the shock of oatmeal being a fetish, and the shock that their friend actually has a fetish. They could accept it right away or they could run away screaming, but I would say at the very least, most vanilla people would probably find the whole thing surprising and different, and that could end up being good or bad for the relationship that the fetishist has with that person.

 

[MaleTickleeDC]

I think a lot of people who have such horrible 'coming out' stories have very poor judgement about who they should be coming out to. No, announcing your tickle fetish in the middle of your weekly Magic: the Gathering tournament hoping the cute girls in the room will throw themselves at you barefoot is probably not a good idea.

The bad experiences I had involved people finding out about the fetish via a poorly cleared Internet history, or a laptop that wasn't password protected. Both of those cases ended badly. I would have never come out to those people voluntarily.

 

[stockytickler]

Yeah, that's pretty bad, MTDC. A coworker helping me with my computer saw a bookmarked link to a (thank God) general interest (read: orientation unspecified) story-sharing tickling site in the late '90s. I said I must have hit the bookmarker by mistake when clicking around (I was as newbie as you'd ever find in nature). I had to put up with a couple of odd e-mails from him, but my lack of response was part of it going no further, but /wow/ are there ways it could have been worse.

Now I'd probably have grabbed his sides and tickled him silly. But no ... not then. 😉

 

[Sharkiegirl]

I got outed by my friend Nate on purpose at a party because he knew all the guys that I hang with happen to be pretty kinky themselves, and since I'm the girl of the group they wouldn't mind. At first I was embarrassed but then it ended up with them thinking it was cute and talking about their kinks and stuff. It's just about environment and who is in your group of friends really.

 

[Phineas]

Look, I don't doubt that there are plenty of success stories out there of people who have told all of their friends about their tickling fetish and who have not only had positive results, but now have friends who have joined in on the fetish! My problem with this topic, and the reason I'm deliberately taking such a strong anti-coming-out position, is that I feel that some folks here NEED the validation that they receive by coming out. That is, they feel that ONLY by coming out and by being accepted by everyone will they feel normal. My point is that, because this is a big world filled with all kinds of people, you're never going to be accepted by everyone. At best, telling your friends is going to be a crapshoot. You could be pleasantly surprised or find yourself looking for a new group of friends.

But back to my beef with this topic: no one needs anyone else to accept them. All one needs to do is accept themselves for who they are. Once you accept yourself, you no longer have the desire to seek the world's approval for your fetish.

Oh, well in that case, I agree with you. I didn't get that from your original message, so my apologies if I misread.

So if a friend came out to us that he or she was into, say, oatmeal, and nothing was more sexual than oatmeal to him or her, well, even we would probably find that to be a bit different.

Here's what I don't get, though, and I don't know if it's unique to us tickle folks or not... but I can't imagine any scenario where a friend of mine would "come out" to me about oatmeal or anything else, unless the topic came up in conversation naturally, which is rare, or they were hoping I'd share it with them, or if I was with a group of already-known-to-be-kinky friends and we could speak freely of our turn-ons without judgement.

The bad experiences I had involved people finding out about the fetish via a poorly cleared Internet history, or a laptop that wasn't password protected. Both of those cases ended badly. I would have never come out to those people voluntarily.

I don't really consider that a "coming out" story, I consider it a "being outed" story. And I have a few of those myself. I think we all do.

 

[Rusty Shackleford]

I honestly cannot envision a scenario in which a vanilla person hears about a tickling fetish and is genuinely curious to try it out.

I always use the "sneezing fetish analogy" whenever discussions such as this one crop up, as they do from time to time: people in this world are sexually attracted to sneezes. There are "sneezing models" and "sneezing porn" and sneezing fetishists that email celebrities and ask them if they're allergic or how many times they sneeze a day.

They masturbate to people sneezing.

I'm sure all of us find this fucking weird... and tickling has got to be right up there with it.

As I said earlier, I'm not ashamed of my fetish and I'm truly grateful I have this added twist to my sexuality; I'm just not blind to how weird it truly is.

 

[anonymiss86]

I honestly cannot envision a scenario in which a vanilla person hears about a tickling fetish and is genuinely curious to try it out.

I always use the "sneezing fetish analogy" whenever discussions such as this one crop up, as they do from time to time: people in this world are sexually attracted to sneezes. There are "sneezing models" and "sneezing porn" and sneezing fetishists that email celebrities and ask them if they're allergic or how many times they sneeze a day.

They masturbate to people sneezing.

I'm sure all of us find this fucking weird... and tickling has got to be right up there with it.

As I said earlier, I'm not ashamed of my fetish and I'm truly grateful I have this added twist to my sexuality; I'm just not blind to how weird it truly is.

I can definitely see the point that you are trying to make.
However, I think sneezing is a bad comparison to make with tickling because even couples who don't have our fetish DO tickle each other at times flirtatiously and it sometimes turns into something sexual because tickling in itself is well..... titillating! And I've had that confirmed through friends that are not tickle fetishists through just plain "girl talk" and also just observation of couples together.

I mean take look at the word clitoris:

Word Origin & History
clitoris
1615, coined in Mod.L., from Gk. kleitoris, a diminutive, but the exact sense is uncertain. Probably from Gk. kleiein "to sheathe," also "to shut," in reference to its being covered by the labia minora. The related noun form kleis has a second meaning of "a key, a latch or hook (to close a door)." Wooden pegs were the original keys; a connection also revealed in L. clovis "nail" and claudere "to shut" (see close (v.)). Some medical sources give a supposed Gk. verb kleitoriazein "to touch or titillate lasciviously, to tickle," lit. "to be inclined (toward pleasure)" (cf. Ger. slang der Kitzler "clitoris," lit. "the tickler"), related to Gk. kleitys, a variant of klitys "side of a hill," related to klinein "to slope," from the same root as climax. But many sources take kleitoris literally as Gk. "little hill." The It. anatomist Mateo Renaldo Colombo (1516-1559), professor at Padua, claimed to have discovered it (De re anatomica, 1559, p. 243). He called it amor Veneris, vel dulcedo "the love or sweetness of Venus." It had been known to women since much earlier, of course.

A lot of times our private parts will be ticklish before and/or after intercourse so really tickling is very naturally associated with sexuality. A lot of people experience tickling in the bedroom whether they like it or not!
So, its not as far out of an idea as sneezing or that smoke and balloons website.
I personally have gotten this response from non-tickle fetish friends as well.
When I first told my boyfriend I had a fetish he said he was scared stiff... until I told him what it was and he was relieved because it's not as far fetched or crazy of an idea as you'd think.

That being said there are people who are close minded and would criticize so u do need to analyze whether or not certain ppl would be open minded enough for that kind of thing.
But even they can't deny that it has more of a connection than sneezing...

K.... thats all I wanted to say... 🙂

 

[cue]

Tickling for me is very sexual. I don't want to hear what gets my friends into the mood, and I'm quite positive that none of them want to know that tickling me gets me turned on sexually.

It has nothing to do with my friendship with them, but just that I don't want to hear what gets them going. I wouldn't even be sure how to begin that conversation. "Guess what? Whenever Scott tickles me, I get so turned on." It's none of their business what Scott does to put me in the mood, and it's none of my business what turns them on. I'm not going to have to sex with them anyways, so what do I need that information for? Now if someone I'm involved with, man or woman, I would tell them.

Or maybe it depends on how you respond to it. Since it's so sexual for me, that's why my friends don't know.

 

[Mephistopheles]

I stick to the fight club approach. Do NOT talk about it. Never.

The only reason my current gf knows is because it's listed on my FL, and when we met I was knee-deep in the local BDSM community.

 

[love feet]

i have not dune this yet!

 

[rhiannon]

If I talk to a close friend about sex and preferences, I usually tell them about my tickling fetish, too. They don't really care, just as I don't care about what they like. But in general I don't tell people. They don't have any business to know.

 

[PinoyRomeo]

No two relationships are exactly the same. You have had different experiences with different people with different personalities so you should have a general idea who is more open minded or who is close enough to you that you can trust them with your secrets. Or well, who just has a big mouth if you arent quite ready for everyone and their grandma to know.

It also comes down to your comfort level. Sometimes letting someone in on your secret (any secret) is less about validation and more about getting the pressure of keeping that secret off of your chest. Keeping a part of you locked away from everyone can build up and make you feel like you are isolating yourself. Especially to a personality type who in all other aspects likes people to know where they stand on issues.

 

[obama666]

WHY?

 

[FFT32]

I have told people in the past, I have been outed in the past and I have had one person just flat out ask me privetly if I had foot/tickling thing.

Thus far, I have received nor herd zero negitive reactions or comments even though I was concerned they would come. The only negitive thing is that the person who asked me about my fetish has yet to let me touch her feet even though she says she is totally cool with it and even admited to having her toes played with and sucked in the past. She has a kind of on again off again boyfriend and I have never directly asked or tried to get her to let me tickler her. We have dropped a few comments here and there, but nothing has developed.... Yet!

Reactions to anything different are like snow flakes and leaves falling from trees, good luck on finding two the same.

For me, I have been lucky and I know it.

Peace

 

[LeatherTrap]

I've only disclosed my tickling fetish with those I've gotten into a serious relationship with, before we might become intimate. My circle of friends are quite open about their sex lives, but they're all rather vanilla or at least enjoy only those fetishes that are very mainstream. (At least, that's all they've confessed to.) Nevertheless, I'm a private person, and I don't care to discuss such matters with anyone other than I intend to engage such activities with.

 

[Rusty Shackleford]

I told my first girlfriend at fifteen; she was accommodating and even let me indulge and tickle her (she was a freak, too, and loved golden showers.. it was a pretty kinky relationship for a pair of fifteen year olds) but she told a few people, I found out years later. They kept their mouths shut, but knowing that these few people knew for years without my knowledge really fucked me up for a little bit.

My second girlfriend (the last one I told) was "accepting" but I could tell she thought it was super weird. She never let me tickle her (she hated it) and the few times she tied and tickled me it practically killed the mood for her.

I understand that tickling in of itself is flirtatious, but that doesn't mean being sexually excited by tickling would be widely accepted... I have a very kinky female friend. She loves to be tied very tightly, dominated, spat on, etc... we commonly swap sexy stories (she's one of the only friends of mine that actually has sex interesting enough to discuss) but I still haven't disclosed my tickling fetish to her.



I really like this exchange of experiences from people scattered across the globe... one of the reasons this place is so special to me.

 

[metalheadgirl]

I don't tell my friends. No matter how much I trust my friends I don't trust them enough to let them know.
If I told friends, they'd probably end up thinking of me as 'that girl with the fetish' -_-



My sister is the only person that knows: I didn't tell her... but she figured it out anyways.

One day we were watchin tv together, and she just asked me ''tickling is like, 'a thing' for you, isn't it.''
I said ''Yes it is'', because I just can't lie to her. 😛
(Apparently she could tell that I was tryin' to get boyfriends to tickle me a lot...)

I assured her that if she tickles me, I do not find it sexual.
Because like, Tickles from a friend or family member are friendly ; but tickles from a lover are sexy, in the same way that a hug from a friend or family member is friendly ; but hug from a lover is sexy