How to get into this...

[BrownEyes5]

Hello everyone 🙂 I'm a 20 year old college student from the Midwest and I am really into tickling. I am still new to this and I haven't ever done any kind of "tickle session" or anything but I am very curious about it....but also scared. I am definitely more of a lee and the idea of letting someone really tickle me for more than a few seconds is very appealing to me, I am just nervous about finding someone to do it. I have seen and heard about a lot of lers kind of taking advantage of lees in a way and that is what worries me. I want someone who won't ignore my wishes once they get me strapped down and vulnerable. I guess it is all about just finding someone that I trust, but being a young woman and trusting stangers is hard lol. Anyway, I guess I'm just wondering how I can insure and be certain that the person I let tickle me, (I have yet to find one), is someone trustworthy and such. Sorry if this is boring and stupid it is just something that has been on my mind for a long time.

 

[to_tikle]

You are right, takes trust and the right chemistry...sent you a PM and on yahoo. 🙂 Look forward to chatting more.

 

[aonix]

maybe go to a dungeon? they have different degrees of safewords there (yellow = slow down/i don't like that etc., red = stop and let me out right now) and are extremely professional.

 

[Wally West]

Maybe bring a friend with you the first time. Nice to have someone you know and trust there.

 

[peter]

Hmm What Wally West says. Maybe ask a friend in real life first. a Guy on the internet can seem Nice on chat, but you never know how he is in real life. Or if you;re going to meet up with a stranger, bring a friend along or something like that!

Good luck with finding your tickler!!

 

[rhiannon]

First of all: DON'T TRUST STRANGERS! 🙂

Take your time to learn to know the person. Don't meet someone you don't feel absolutely 100% comfortable with. Make sure your first meeting is in a public place, do not go home with the person or take the person home. Don't get tied down the first time you meet. It's also a good idea to let someone know where you are and who you are with.

And even with doing all that, you can never be 100% sure, but that goes for everything in life. If I get tied down, I just make sure it is with someone I would have sex with if it came down to it. Because once you're tied, you never know.

 

[maniactickler]

Browneyes, if your willing to travel to Mass, ill teach you the proper way to get a good tickling. i will even donate $20 towards your traveling expenses.

 

[BrownEyes5]

That could be an option but I would be insanely nervous. I have no idea how any of that works lol. I would have to work up the nerve to even go....dungeons seem kind of intimidating and scary! I'm sure it would be an okay experience if I actually did go though

maybe go to a dungeon? they have different degrees of safewords there (yellow = slow down/i don't like that etc., red = stop and let me out right now) and are extremely professional.

 

[johnnytick]

I would agree with a lot of the above people. The best way to approach this (especially given that your extremely uncomfortable with it) would be to slowly work up to actually having the experience to build up trust. As Rhiannon said it's probably a good idea to have meetings with the person in a public place to allow you to get to know them a lot more before you allow them to tie you down.

 

[BrownEyes5]

Thanks everyone 🙂 Your comments have been really reassuring and helpful

 

[to_tikle]

Brown,

I agree with Rihannon....and the beauty of a forum like this is that you have lots of support from those of us with experience and advice to ease into this...it can be intimidating...just take your time, do what you are comfortable with as far as discussing and keep an open mind...we are if you want to chat/bounce ideas off of...

 

[chicago]

Get to know some people here, see if there's anyone in your area, go to a gathering, open up about it to a friend or s/o, pay a domme. Come up rules for yourself to keep you safe. No bondage on the first meeting if you are deciding to play with someone from the internet you haven't met before, or no play upon the first meeting. Communicate clearly that it's your first time and you may be unsure of your reactions. Set up a safeword.

 

[laughingisgood]

I can only imagine that scare as a girl, especially a young one! The thought that someone would take advantage of any lee in a way they don't want to be is just disgusting... gah. Well best of luck, hope you find someone right for it. I'd say chemistry is important for trust. I wish I could help you out seeing as I'm a 'ler around the same age as you but unfortunately I live in Mass, pretty damn far away 😛. Send me a PM if you wish to chat, I do love doing that as well 🙂

 

[robmic]

Poor kid, I feel for you. What you're looking for is the kind of thing you should get to experience with someone you're close to like a close friend or boyfriend. Someone that you've known for a while that you could trust to obey your limits. But sometimes even with them it might not work out the way you would like it to. It's really a crap shoot. But there are some ways to help make it a better first time experience. Many of the suggestions that the folks that responded here gave are good. But human nature doesn't always cooperate. If you ever meet up with someone that you really feel comfortable with, just take things slowly and don't get impatient. Take your time and try some simple things before you "go all the way" with the tied down and tickled to death playing. If I were younger and closer, I would love to get to know you better and maybe give you the experience you're looking for. But I'm not on both counts, so happy hunting. 😉

 

[piyr]

You have to trust them enough to hold your wallet but less than trusting them with your social security number. Honestly though, it's no guarantee but it's probably right when you feel that you can trust them with your dignity.

 

[L_o_s_e_r]

Does the tickler have to be male? If not, try a professional dungeon or see if you can find a local dominatrix on Backpage or Craigslist.

If you prefer a guy but worry about him having you tied down until you know he's cool, the idea of having a trusted female friend chaperone is a good idea. Assuming you have such a friend, place a personal ad seeking m/f bondage and tickling here.

Last thought: If you have a boyfriend or date regularly, make it a habit to start tickle fights and see where it goes. You might find yourself with a fellow tickling enthusiast or at least a guy who picks up on your turn-ons. Then, a hint or two about how you'd like being tied and tickled might be all that's necessary.

 

[DontAskJusTckle]

There's no easy answer. I noticed earlier in the thread somebody shouted at you, "DON'T TRUST STRANGERS!" Ignoring for the moment the disturbing psychological profile that such a panicked plea suggests, I would point out that everybody on the TMF is a stranger to you. There's no way to tell who will be a gentleman and who will be a cad.

My recommendation is to find somebody who is only interested in tickling and not into the whole master/slave trip.

 

[duderino84]

.....and this is why I've never brought bondage up unless in a joking manner (after like I'm actually DATING someone and I've been with them like 6 times, where I'll joke "oh, this spot you always manage to cover up .....we should tie you down and open it up" lol).

My advice? If a "ler" can't tickle with you untied, what makes you think he'll be any better with you tied? Meet a playful guy.....someone like, THE DUDE! 😀 lol jk

 

[AceOfTickles]

Well, most of the tickling community is very respectful. If you ask them to stop, they will. Most 'lers want the people they're tickling to enjoy it as well. However, unfortunately it is not unheard of for ticklers to take advantage of the person they're tickling. Maybe get to know them a little before jumping right in to tickling. That way you will know for yourself if you can trust them. From the viewpoint of a tickler, I would stop tickling if the person I'm tickling really wanted me to. Sometimes being a good tickler is knowing the difference between playful begging and honest pleads for the tickling to cease.

 

[ChicagoDavid]

I’d either summon the courage to rent a room at a dungeon for an hour with the guy you want to play with (don’t worry, he’ll pay for the rental or have it be a no-restraints session. A guy can hold you down with one hand free 🙂 Inviting a guy to your room to hold you down and tickle you is no riskier than inviting a guy home after a vanilla date.

 

[BrownEyes5]

That is really reassuring to hear. I know that most people in this community are probably nice and respectful, it is just still so nerve racking. I'm afraid that my tickler wouldn't care/know the difference if I was begging for the tickling to stop. I mean I'm sure most people can tell when a person is having fun and when they are in agony or done and wanting things to stop or move on, but I know some people like to really push beyond that and not stop until they want to. I guess I wont know that about someone until I really get to know them. Thanks for the advice 🙂

 

[Jhitman112]

I would say just start talking to people on here!! Trust is a huge part of it or at least it is for me when it comes to tickling 😉!

 

[Jhitman112]

Trust and respect are key, you have to have that!!

 

[duderino84]

It's more fun stop and start with girls for me; them not being able to predict when it'll come get them next, and then getting so skiddish about tickling that every move I make tickles them before I even touch them.....such as reaching for a glass of water for myself....or feeling sides.

I still can't forget the girl with the ticklish palms tho....

 

[Em Es]

BrownEyes5

As with all other human interaction, how well a tickle play date goes depends on communication. Maybe you've known people where you were so tuned in to one another it was as if words were not necessary. With others, it's as if when you say black they hear white, and when they say up you hear down. Welcome to life.

I've tied and tickled two fine girls I met through this web site. With the first, she did not invite me for a second tickle date. The second girl had me to her place to tickle her six or seven times, then stopped returing my messages. Eventually that second girl had me back one more time before I moved, making the logistics of continuing a lot less convenient. Finally, once again she stopped replying to me.

The first girl said she would not have me over again because during the session, so I could run my fingers up her back as I tickled her when she was face down, I had unsnapped her bikini top. She said nothing at that moment; in fact the session went on (I refastened her top!) and after we finished she even made me something to eat. But the next day she wrote to me saying she did not want me to tickle her again because of that.

The second girl took offense because, playing a game where I'd ask her/make he say things in order to get a break from the tickling, I asked her about the age where she lost her virginity. As with the first girl, she said nothing at that moment and the tickling session went on; when time was up she didn't say my question made her uncomfortable. Several unanswered messages later, she finally told me the problem. (By the way, it wasn't as though she was 20 years old and still hung up about sex. We were both in our 40s.) Unlike the first girl, at least she got over it and had me back for a reunion tickling session. We were supposed to meet again but she had to cancel last minute and ever since, she stopped responding.

With some people, you can do no wrong . With others, trouble's waiting to happen no matter how hard you try. Being female, BrownEyes5, you will have no shortage of available ticklers, so you won't have to take what you can get, I imagine. You'll just have to find the ticklers whose wavelength matches yours.