I just want to tell you....

[giantfan121262]

Woo hooo Kis!

Yes it does giant~S'why I'm so grateful for my job. On my worst day, the hell I go thru is nothing like what some of my patients have to deal with!

XOXO

I have it pretty good to, fortunetely (very fortunetely). My "patients" are the property managers that have to constantly answer to us as well as deal with less than desirable tenants who don't pay rent and vandalize the units they live in when things don't go thier way.

 

[kis123]

All right people!!!!!!!!!.........

I've decided to spend my 1000th post with all of you on this thread!!! Let's review today's events (which were uneventful at best):

Went to the rec center and someone was hogging the recumbent bike (that I need to move to my house for personal use!🙂 ). He took forever to get off that machine. So, what's a girl to do? I got on another bike that looked as old as me (not telling), and did the best I could until he finally decided the bike wasn't real estate and let someone else use it! I think I'm up to a whopping 30 minutes of biking and I'm still light on the weights.

I went to a job interview that lasted over 3 hours. What was worse, there were ten people there gunning for the same job too. Know what I could've been doing with the time I was wasting there? I have two papers, one major project, and two accounting assignments I have to complete by Tuesday. It's going to be a very looooong weekend!

The good news is I have two more weeks left in one class, four weeks in the other class from hell, and a DANTES test to complete in the near future and I'll be done!!!

The scale made me mad today, and so did the 3/4 piece of cheesecake I ate too. It really wasn't even that good and I will be paying for that one tonight, if you know what I mean!!

Well, that was my less than interesting day. Hope I haven't bored anyone to tears yet! You guys are the only grownups I get to talk to sometimes, so I tend to ramble. I hope all had a good day today, and an even better one tomorrow! See you soon.

 

[giantfan121262]

Keep us posted on how you fared on the interview

 

[steph]

For kis...

(does her best dumb Rob Schneider in "Waterboy" imitation)
YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!😉
xoxo

 

[featherfingers]

Hi, Kis, Steph & Giantfan! Sorry I missed you last night but I was out doing foot massages for a couple of ladies... I love my job! What makes a job great is when it's something you love to do. So, keep reaching for the stars, Kis, you're almost there. By the way, what does DANTES stand for?

 

[giantfan121262]

what does DANTES stand for? [/B]

I was wondering the same thing 😕

 

[kis123]

Hi everyone!

DANTES and CLEP are two ways to gain college credit without actually taking classes. DANTES is used more by military personnel attempting degrees, but has spread into traditional studies as well.

I'll be taking my DANTES test in either ethics or religion (fun, huh?). I have to sign up for it soon so It'll count this calendar year. My dean seemed to have forgotten to tell me it was an option. But why help me graduate when you can get me to take 850.00 worth of classes I could've tested out of for 275.00? So much for it being a Christian school! I've had problems with him and a few other folks since the beginning of my program. I won't have them to thank for helping me graduate.

Well, I'm off to the rec center for fun and frolic. I actually made it to 30 minutes of biking yesterday. Might have had something to do with the guy who thought he owned the recumbent bike and took his sweet time getting off of it! Maybe a nicer crowd will be there. Then, it's to the library, running errands, and a meeting with my new accounting tutor (happy happy joy joy!).

I hope I can keep this up this time. It feels like I've accomplished so much in such a short period of time and I hope it's not like a lot of things in my life--great start, but no finish! I want to get up to 45 minutes of cardio and heavier weights eventually. I hate diets and diet foods (except drinks) so there will be no strict dieting. Besides, it's supposed to be a lifestyle change, right? I want to eat normal food, just make some better choices in what I eat.

Well, enough of that for now. How's everyone else on this thread been doing? I get tired of talking about me!🙂

 

[featherfingers]

I never get tired of talking about you! (Hey, Steph... I heard Kis did...) I notice you're from Ohio. Do you live anywhere near Springfield? A couple of my clients call that home.

 

[giantfan121262]

Thanks for the info. I never heard of them before (at the risk of sounding naive). Good luck, Kis. If you can save some $$ and expedite your education process, more power to you. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you.

I applaud your efforts and want to tell you that you are off to a good start. Additionally, the goals you are setting are definitely reachable and realistic. It is going to take some discipline though and that is something I, nor anybody else, can give you. One thing I read once in a health magazine, if there is ever a day you don't feel like excercising, just put on your excercise attire and , like Nike, just do it. Once you get started, you will get into it and you will feel alot better. The hardest part sometimes is getting started.

Do yourself a favor, strike the word "diet" out of your vocabulary. Diet is a four letter word. Those Atkins, South Beach Diets, fad diets are a crock of shit. They will help you in the short term granted, but once you go back to eating normal food again, you gain all the weight back and then some. Personally, if you need to worry about carb intakes, then you are not getting enough excercise IMHO. It is my understanding that the starch you take in is turned to sugar and fat if you don't burn it off with excercise. Anyone, please feel free to correct me if I'm wrong

Well, today, I took off of work and had the family over for Rosh Hashanah. Went to services in the afternoon with my oldest then pigged out. I had my cheat day today thats for sure, but I plan to burn it off tomorrow by doing some work in the yard and moving some boxes into my in laws new apartment. Additionally, my 18 year old nephew is coming for a visit and I plan to play some racquetball with him

How was everybody elses day?

 

[kis123]

Well, since you asked:

I went to the rec center like a good girl and did the good deed. It got kinda' ugly from there. My accounting tutor called me from the airport in WA and told me he couldn't make it.

Then, I drove through a storm to get to the best corned beef place in the county and spent more money than I'm willing to admit to. You know you spent too much money when they throw in the free pop! Then I went for the dreaded beer! I was a bad girl today and I don't look forward to the scale, but I know I must so I learn to make intelligent decisions for myself.

Did I mention the part of my day where I have a heart-to-heart with my son about internet porn sites? My ex called me today about evidence that my son's been messing around with the cable nasty sites. Gee, that was a fun conversation. He's autistic, but he's darn sure not dead!!!! We'll be working with the group home and his social worker about some sex-ed so he'll realize the hoochie mamas on the porn sites wouldn't exactly make good girlfriend or wife material. This is really tough for my ex to go through--he still sees our son as disabled. He may be disabled in some areas, but obviously abled in others! Guys, you're free to help me out with this one (I'm one of 6 girls and three nieces, not much male experience here). I'm all ears and am ready for some realistic and compassionate advice. My son's nineteen, but is about emotionally aged 12-13. I'm trying to be calm, but this is really rough for me to go through. It's hard to see him as grown up and childlike at the same time. I don't want anyone to hurt him.

It's been a rough night and I'm ready for a long nap. I hope all is well with you and yours. Have a good night!🙂

 

[featherfingers]

Kis, have a good night's sleep. I don't know much about people with your son's disability. I have a client whose son is in a home for the mentally handicapped, and another with a son who has Down Syndrome. Perhaps someone may log on who has a helpful suggestion. Please have a wonderful night of sleep. XOXOXO Frankie

 

[giantfan121262]

Hi Guys:

Been a little out of touch today. Did some yard work and other house projects and went to pick up my nephew at the airport. I may not be around as much over the next few days cuz I have to "share" my computer.

Anyway, reading the latest. Kis, At the moment, I can't add anything that may be helpful in coping with your situation generally because of my lack of back ground in dealing with it. Hopefully, your heart to heart with him struck home a little. I would imagine that this is something that would require a little more reinforcement from time to time. Your concern about him getting hurt is what every GREAT mother fears for her kids. I'm 41 years old and my mother still looks out for me and offers motherly advice (whether I want to hear it or not.

Kis, you're a great person and mother and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. We'll be thee for you.

 

[kis123]

Yeah, the last couple of days have been pretty rough, but I'm managing to survive. It's going to be a long weekend--two papers and accounting homework, and that's just the beginning. I can't find the testing manual for the upcoming DANTES test even after I went to the library and the bookstore. I think I found the right one on a website, but won't be sure until I see the material. This just seems like way too much work.

To the rec center then to get my hair done. I'm starting to look like someone found me on the street!! I just don't have time for the primp and proper stuff right now.

Anyone have a job??? All my attempts to find work this week were pretty much in vain. I still think weight is the last permitted discrimination in this country. I could be wrong, but if I have the required skill set, and everything goes great on the phone, but after meeting me I can't pay you to return a phone call. No market for obese African-american females over thirty-five?

Anyway, that's my relatively unproductive week. I'd like to hear from someone else now, talking about me is getting kinda' tired. Any good news on the horizon?

 

[steph]

Hi Kis!

I dunno if this is helpful to you or not but I just wanted to share my limited exp. w/this. Our hospital employs a good number of highly functional disabled guys on the janitorial crew. One of them, Robbie, has Down's Syndrome (and a crush). He literally interrogates my friends when he sees them as to my whereabouts. When he sees me, he runs down the hall, calls me his wife, tells me he loves me, hugs me and asks for a kiss on the cheek. I humor him. He's a sweet kid and it makes bystanders smile.
My two cents? In some ways these guys are just as normal as any other non-disabled male. Treat him as such. Speak to him just like you would if he weren't challenged. Good luck.
XOXO

Well, since you asked:

I went to the rec center like a good girl and did the good deed. It got kinda' ugly from there. My accounting tutor called me from the airport in WA and told me he couldn't make it.

Then, I drove through a storm to get to the best corned beef place in the county and spent more money than I'm willing to admit to. You know you spent too much money when they throw in the free pop! Then I went for the dreaded beer! I was a bad girl today and I don't look forward to the scale, but I know I must so I learn to make intelligent decisions for myself.

Did I mention the part of my day where I have a heart-to-heart with my son about internet porn sites? My ex called me today about evidence that my son's been messing around with the cable nasty sites. Gee, that was a fun conversation. He's autistic, but he's darn sure not dead!!!! We'll be working with the group home and his social worker about some sex-ed so he'll realize the hoochie mamas on the porn sites wouldn't exactly make good girlfriend or wife material. This is really tough for my ex to go through--he still sees our son as disabled. He may be disabled in some areas, but obviously abled in others! Guys, you're free to help me out with this one (I'm one of 6 girls and three nieces, not much male experience here). I'm all ears and am ready for some realistic and compassionate advice. My son's nineteen, but is about emotionally aged 12-13. I'm trying to be calm, but this is really rough for me to go through. It's hard to see him as grown up and childlike at the same time. I don't want anyone to hurt him.

It's been a rough night and I'm ready for a long nap. I hope all is well with you and yours. Have a good night!🙂

 

[giantfan121262]

Hi Kis!

My two cents? In some ways these guys are just as normal as any other non-disabled male. Treat him as such. Speak to him just like you would if he weren't challenged. Good luck.
XOXO

Excellent advice! If I do say so myself

 

[giantfan121262]

Any good news on the horizon? [/B]

Well, I mentioned my nephew is in for a visit. Ironically, that is whay I haven't been around. He doesn't know I frequent this site, and I want to kind of keep it that way. I have been spending alot of time with him and plan to do more of the same during the week he is staying with me. His mother looks to me like a father to him and he is almost like a son to me eventhough he lives 2,000 miles from me. I am just now sitting down to relax.

The boyz (my son and nephew) and I went out to play lazer tag this PM then moved some boxes for my in laws in my truck to their new pad. After that we all went out to dinner (I was pretty good in case you are wondering). I just returned from a night of moon light bowling, and here I am.

Well some good news is that my son officially becomes a blue belt in Tae Kwon Do tomorrow (Sunday) afternoon. Not bad for a boy who won't be six for another month. The promotion board is tomorrow and we plan to celebrate afterwards. Now he is about 1/2 way towards his black belt. I am very proud of him. WHEN he gets his black belt, I will start a thread (just a warning LOL)

Kis, I can tell you that the job market is very tight right now so if you didn't get any job offers, it's nothing to be ashamed of. If some jerk doesn't want to hire you b/c you are obese, as you suggest, then eff *flipping the bird* him. A person like that is too superficial to see through the fact that you are an intelligent person, with a good head on her shoulders, who has alot to offer I might add. Kis, just hang in there. I have been there before and it took me a while to find something. I was also employed at the time as well.

Well, I am probably going to browse for a few more minutes and call it a night. It's my turn to get up with the kids tomorrow.

 

[kis123]

Everyone's advice is comforting, reassuring, and encouraging as usual. My son is going through his teen rebellious stage (again) and it's getting real close to the time to put the parental foot in the appropriate anatomical place. I allow him to go out on his own on Saturdays and the conditions are miminal. That's why when he breaks the deal, I give him the appropriate warnings, then I lay down the law! He blew it this weekend for the third time in a row, so guess what happens next weekend? You guessed, it if you said "He gets to stay around his mom on Saturday."

We are still setting some new rules about the computer, so he hasn't used it this weekend. I tried using parental control software, but that stuff doesn't work very well. He knows that if I EVER catch that mess on my computer again, he loses the priveledge to use it, period! He can go to the library from that point on.

As far as the job situation goes, it's all about image and what people think is pleasing to the eye to look at. There are a lot of people who believe that an overweight person is not as intelligent or capable as others (which we know is a crock of crap!, but folks believe it). Add that to the racial and gender factors, and it gets rough on the job hunt. I personally think it's pretty stupid for reasons too obvious to type and put in print.

Well, gotta run and "feed the need". I'm ready for breakfast of low carb cereal and fruit (sounds yummy, huh?), then off to the rec center. I think I over-did it a bit yesterday because I've been feeling better. I'll have to be careful since this is a marathon, not a sprint! After that, it's lots of hours at the library. Have a really fun day folks, and maybe we'll meet again tonight.

 

[featherfingers]

Hey, Kis! Sorry I couldn't join in yesterday (verrrry busy). I hope you're keeping a journal of all of these things happening to you (as if you have time to do that). Journaling is very good therapy. Helps you focus and helps you manage your feelings. It's sad that in the year 2004 prejudice is still running rampant. I've been ridiculed simply for the way I dress... I was dressed in a dashiki and shorts, wearing sandals and a splash of patchouli one day in a Borders Bookstore. I was minding my own business when I heard a voice say, "I used to hang out with people like that." I thought he couldn't be talking about me. He and his friends walk by me, smell the patchouli and he says, "He even smells like they did." Yep, he meant me. I just ignored them but I thought, "Martin Luther King,Jr. would have tears in his eyes if he saw what just happened."
Well, keep us posted on your progress. You'll find something, believe me. If you'd like, I could always use a person to handle promoting and marketing my business... I'd have to pay you with tickle sessions until business picks up, though.

 

[giantfan121262]

Kis, I am glad to hear that you are feeling better. Keep up the good work and good for you for taking a stand in regard to your son. Sometimes you have to "lay down the law" otherwise they will run rampant. I don't have teenage kids (yet) but I know my time will come.

My afternoon was spent at my soms promotion board. Actually, I enjoy them. The kids testing for 2nd degree and 1st degree really amaze me. I get such a kick out of watching them break boards. you are talking some kids who weigh like 60 pounds break a stack of four boards like it's styrofoam (sp?). My 50 pound son broke two boards at once. More power to him. At this point he is closer to black belt than white belt. I missed my Giants today, but it was worth it.

 

[steph]

Congrats to your kiddo giant!

Kis~I don't have kids but all my friends do and my best friend has SEVEN (yikes) so I'm kind of a pseudo parent I guess, since they all end up at our place anyway. You, IMHO, are the perfect parent~Kind enough to give him freedom yet firm. I cannot believe the mistakes I see my friends make trying too hard to be their kids friends instead of their parent. God. 🙄
I have a saying, "Being a parent means having the balls to kick your kids in the ass when they need it." Look, if he's old enough to be viewing this stuff, he's old enough to understand your concerns about it. You're doing the right thing holding him accountable. Stand your ground hon~he'll respect you for it in the long run.

XOXO

 

[giantfan121262]

I totally agree with Steph. As a parent I have learned that if you make a threat, you have to go through with it, even if you realize that you may have over reacted later on. When that happens to me, I try to compensate in another way that doesn't make it seen inconsistent to my guidelines. There are times I feel like planting my size 13 feet in his rump hence I make a threat I regret later on, but nonetheless I still go through with it. I have definitely made my share of mistakes, and that is what I am seeing as being the hardest in dealing with kids in my short time as a parent.

 

[featherfingers]

I remain quiet because I am not a parent, but you could learn alot from these guys, Kis, and they can learn alot from you, as well. I just want you to know that I care.

 

[giantfan121262]

I remain quiet because I am not a parent, but you could learn alot from these guys, Kis, and they can learn alot from you

Speaking for myself, I think I can stand to learn more from her in this dept. Kis has been around the block. I can learn alot when my kids get into those "turbulent teens". I will be happy if they do HALF the stuff I did during that time. God, what I put MY parents through!!

 

[steph]

After my folks divorced I went to live with my father and his wife. They gave us no freedom but still assumed the worst. They were abusive physically and emotionally. While my friends these days let their kids get away with murder, we weren't allowed to get away with anything and while I grew up respecting the rules~because I knew it meant they kept the hell of my back (sort of) to this day I rarely speak to them. I didn't drink, have sex or do drugs until college and yet they still assumed I was this child from hell, because all my friends were doing things like that. They never apologized for being such lousy parents and I think it's probably the one thing that might have won back my respect.

Kids don't come with instruction manuals and you're gonna make some mistakes but if you can say to your kids, "You know what? I messed up" and then make amends, I think you teach them by example and that you're being human, always learning, changing, growing...
XOXO

I totally agree with Steph. As a parent I have learned that if you make a threat, you have to go through with it, even if you realize that you may have over reacted later on. When that happens to me, I try to compensate in another way that doesn't make it seen inconsistent to my guidelines. There are times I feel like planting my size 13 feet in his rump hence I make a threat I regret later on, but nonetheless I still go through with it. I have definitely made my share of mistakes, and that is what I am seeing as being the hardest in dealing with kids in my short time as a parent.

 

[giantfan121262]

I didn't drink, have sex or do drugs until college and yet they still assumed I was this child from hell, because all my friends were doing things like that. They never apologized for being such lousy parents and I think it's probably the one thing that might have won back my respect.

XOXO [/B]

How ironic! That shows some growth on your part though for realizing that they were sticking to their guns eventhough it was done in a less than loving way, unfortunetely. AFA your friends, they appear to be REAL friends b/c eventhough you didn't take part in their "fun", they still accepted you. Some of my friends got into shit I didn't want to touch with a ten foot pole and I always fell on the excuse of sports, and it was cool from that point on.