I just want to tell you....

[steph]

LOL!

Oh, well, I dunno about ironic. It took years of therapy, anti-depressants and me having the world's most amazing friends to get me to a place where I could see things for what they really were. Took me even longer to get to like the person I saw in the mirror.

And the friends...wow, you have no idea. the folks pulled me from my beloved public school and forced me to attend a very ritzy Catholic school where, shockingly enough 🙄 the kids there were into even heavier stuff. I remember these twins, Mary and Beth that I would surf with. they, like all the rest of the group never made a big deal of me being "straight." I simply told them, "Sorry, not my scene." They accepted me completely. One night, my father's wife was going thru my pockets (I had no privacy) and she found a note one of them had written about the weekend's plans. She promptly called their parents and busted them. It was over the weekend and I remember dreading that Monday's long corridor walk and the way they would certainly beat the crap out of me. guess what they did? They ran up and HUGGED me! (Now THAT's a friend!)
They kept asking me over and over, was I ok? (I'd been grounded) Their parents were too busy jetsetting off for a ski weekend in Switzerland to be bothered with such trivial things as a pot party. So basically my stepmother humiliated me for nothing. 🙄
Now THAT'S ironic.
And they wonder why I don't return their calls...

XOXO

 

[featherfingers]

Kis, Steph & Giantfan...
Love everyone in your life... now and always... I just had a close call this morning. I was at a stop light. I saw this big ol' truck in my rear view mirror. I wondered why he isn't slowing down? Long story short, he missed my rear end by inches as he swerved into the next lane and ran the red light. This was no small vehicle either. If he had hit me, I'd most likely be in the hospital right now or in the morgue. Yes, we all have problems we must face... but be glad you're alive and well and able to think things through... plus, having good friends like we do is always a blessing. Glad to be with you. I love you all! Frankie

 

[steph]

EEK!

I'm so glad you're okay Frankie!

I didn't mean to sound like I was whining back there. I do love and appreciate everyone in my life every minute of everyday. I'm happier now than I've ever been, which I love! (Partly because of the friends I've made here!)
We're glad you're here with us too.
XOXO

 

[featherfingers]

Hey, Steph and everybody! Well, after that close call I did a trade with an acupuncturist and then I spent time with my Tickle LadyFriend. Steph, she actually tickled MY feet for a change! I fell asleep and she tickled my feet to wake me up. It was fun while it lasted. What I meant by "love those in your life" came about because of that close call I had this morning. I consider you all friends and when something like that happens, you really count your blessings. You never know when your number's up. So, how's Kis and Giantfan doing? And Steph, I know exactly what it feels like not to like the person you see in the mirror. I thought about that a few weeks ago and broke down crying because I was so abusive to myself for so long! When you love yourself, it's easier to love others, and it's easier for them to love you in return.

 

[giantfan121262]

Hi Guys:

Sorry I was a little out of touch today.

My nephew was hogging the computer and...well... you know. This site is hush hush so I had to wait for him to go to bed be4 posting and he outlasted me tonite. Fell asleep watching MNF.

Steph, count your belssings. Your friends sounded like the best things in your life and the therapy paid huge dividends. I, myself, went through years of therapy during my tweens (preteen) years. I used to be teased unmercifully as a kid b/c I was fat. The fat part worked itself out. One year I grew 6". AFA the therapy, basically it gave me the strength to ditch a guy I called "friend" the guy was trying to control my life and prevented me from making other friends. It also gave me the courage to stand up to my "taunters". MY HS years, next to college, were the best years of my life. Hooked up with a good group of "real' friends, lettered in football and starred in baseball, and was voted "most changed since 9th grade" by my senior class.

You want to hear a goof. One time I had a bowl (pot pipe) in my jacket. Kept it there for a couple of days. One night my mom must have gone through my pockets w/o me knowing. When I pulled it out of my pocket to smoke with my friends, I saw I was lighting air. I look in and it was empty. I was fucking humilated (and livid with my folks). Instead of laughing at me from here to California, they empatized my pain. The next morning,I went to my mom and asked her if she knew anything about it. She jusy coyly dodged the subject. By that time, I sarcastically said to her "I bet you smoked the stuff" and she just smiled at me. A response I wasn't expecting. To this day, she won't admit to smoking the grass, but I still have my doubts.

In short, you guys are right. you have to like yourself first before others can like you in return. I am even seeing that today with the original subject of this thread. I am definitely happier with what I see in the mirror, and it passes on to people in my life, my family, friends, even strangers respond better to me.

Well, hitting the sack now. I'm sure you are all sleeping by now. I say again, I'm glad this thread has taken the way it did I am definitely thankful for the friends I have made here as well

Wonder how Kis is doing

 

[giantfan121262]

Re: EEK!

I didn't mean to sound like I was whining back there. XOXO [/B]

Whining?? NFW. From your posts, it looks like you came a long way, and there is something to be said about that. Congratulations 😎

 

[steph]

LOL!

Thanx. People who get to know me are always calling me things like "amazing" (I never get tired of hearing it) but I always kind of smile secretly. I don't know what they're talking about but if I am, I figure all that must have played some part in it.
(hugs all her friends here)

XOXO

 

[BigJim]

I tried smoking grass once and dad chewed me out for about two hours. He said I ruined his lawn.

 

[Limeoutsider]

I tried smoking grass once and dad chewed me out for about two hours. He said I ruined his lawn.

I tried smoking mushrooms once, but I couldnt keep the pizza lit




😀

 

[giantfan121262]

I tried smoking grass once and dad chewed me out for about two hours. He said I ruined his lawn.

ROTFLMAO!!!

I "dropped acid" on my lawn and ruined the "grass"

 

[giantfan121262]

Re: LOL!

if I am, I figure all that must have played some part in it.
(hugs all her friends here)

XOXO [/B]

Aw thanx. I, for one, would like to think so 🙂😉

 

[steph]

I dunno

 

[kis123]

I see everyone has been amusing themselves in my absence!

I have been thrown into the mouth of academic hell, and I don't know how I'll survive the next two weeks. That only means after two weeks one of my classes is over. I still have another class to finish plus my DANTES test, where I can't even get someone to send me a book! Even their own website is out of books. I have no idea what to do with that one. God will just have to step in on this one because I've ran out of ideas!

I can't hang out long, I just got in from class and I still have to complete my accounting assignment tonight and have the other one ready to transmit by tomorrow midnight. Did I mention the one paper I still have to write and the major project due next Tues that I haven't done one iota of research? Oh did I mention my accounting tutor flaked out on me so I'm on my own for the course? If I have any more good news at this level, I may just jump out of a window!!

I couldn't get to the gym today, so I had this great idea--I'll use a workout video! Familiar with Leslie Sansome's walk away the pounds video? Seems simple doesn't it? That lady has been trained by Satan!!! She seems so sweet but her workout (level 1) was pretty brutal for me!! I had to sit down three times within only 15 minutes. I felt like a major wimp! I ride the recumbent bike for 35 minutes and even lift a few weights and I couldn't do her lousy one-mile walk video!

Other than that, all has been simply peachy. Please excuse why I go find a reason not to throw myself over my second floor porch🙁 .

Well I have to go and administer myself some more torture. I'll catch you when I can.

 

[featherfingers]

Hey, Kis! Do what I'm doing... listening to Earth, Wind & Fire! Man, I feel great!!! Don't fret, though. We've been with you through these tough times and we'll be here when you tell us you've passed your exams and are meeting your goals health wise. Accounting tutor bailed on you? Don't they have an alternative? I oughta go back to college just to make you feel better. Me, in an accounting class? It'd be like a Jerry Lewis movie. Don't let things overwhelm you, okay. Take deep breaths and then press on. We're on your side. You'll do fine.

 

[giantfan121262]

Frankie is right. I wish I lived a little closer b/c I have an accounting degree myself eventhough I am in finance presently for the past 7+ years. Even sat for the CPA exam, passed parts but never the whole ball of wax. Judging by how close you are to graduating, you must be in, like, advanced accounting.

 

[kis123]

Frankie is right. I wish I lived a little closer b/c I have an accounting degree myself eventhough I am in finance presently for the past 7+ years. Even sat for the CPA exam, passed parts but never the whole ball of wax. Judging by how close you are to graduating, you must be in, like, advanced accounting.

Actually I'm in managerial accounting, more like financial than cost accounting. I'm trying to work on the assignment now and it's just horrible. I wish I could just pull the covers over my head and this nightmare be over. I guess I'd be happy with a "c" but it may pull me out of honors if I get lower than a "b". I'm incredibly stressed about this and nothing is going to make it stop until the last day of class.

No I don't have any help available through the school. They're more concerned about the money than helping me. It's core curriculum so I have to take it through them or I don't graduate. I'm so sick of this and I hate this class. I'm never going to use it, why do I have to take it and why does it have to be so hard?🙁 🙁

 

[giantfan121262]

Ah! I remember that class well. Kis, I'm sorry to hear about you limited resources. Have you thought about talking to the professor during his office hours. Seeing that your tutor bailed on you, I was just trying to offer a suggestion.

I share your pain about the classes. when I was in college, I had to take that advanced accounting class. Included in the course was government accounting. I asked myself the same question and the only logical answer I could thing of was that subjuct was 30% of the material covered on the CPA exam. I never thought I was ever going to use it and I haven't in the 17 years I have been in the workforce. If you are in private industry , like I was (after starting in public), some of the stuff covered in managerial accounting actually comes into play. There were alot of cost/benefit analyses

Kis, you are so close and we WILL be in your corner, like Frankie said. Just hang in there.

 

[featherfingers]

Anything I say in answer to that will sound condescending or insincere, at best. We can all say, "Cheer up, you'll do fine!", but that doesn't change how you really feel. The reality of the situation is that you are very nervous and anxious about this class, right? I'm nervous right along with you. In my experience, nothing ever turned out as bad as I thought it would, and I've had a lot of nervous thoughts. Kis, your friends (us) are here for you. Maybe we don't know the right thing to say, but we're listening and hoping, praying for the best.

 

[kis123]

Well, I've struggled through the first half, now to the second half which will take me a good three hours to do. I don't know if the answers are right or not, and I don't care. I get so many points for homework turned in. I personally could care less about this class except it could bounce me out of honorss if I grade too low. Did I mention this is an online class? Did I also mention that the instructor is as useful as a two-dollar bill in a windstorm?😡 I get no guidance from him, he's too busy taking my money to care if I pass the course or not. We have a survey to complete at the end of class. I can't wait to give my "opinion" of this loser!!

I appreciate everyone's encouragement, I'm really just very unhappy right now. It doesn't help that I ate about 10 of my son's fig newtons. Did I mention the half of a chicken chipotle burrito I ate today? I just don't have any time to cook. By the time life let me out of the house today, that's all I wanted. Salads get old after awhile. I hope my eating gets better soon--it makes me feel like the pain of exercise is worthless when I eat the wrong things like steak and mashed potatoes yesterday and lasagna for lunch today.😡 😡 Just not happy with myself these days. Someone please shoot me and stop the madness!!!

 

[featherfingers]

Giantfan, you've graduated from college... you know what it's like to work hard to earn a degree. Please provide some words of encouragement to our friend Kis. I feel underqualified to give that kind of advice since I never earned a degree.

 

[giantfan121262]

hmmmmm....

One suggestion I can think of maybe is that Kis can modify her approach.

Seeing the predicament from some 500 miles away, it appears to me that she is looking at these obstacles at once which appears to be this huge mountain.

Perhaps if you tackle one thing at a time that mountain will look more like a molehill. Look at each issue individually and evelaute which is most important. Get that out of the way and take it from there. I will tell you that when I was in college, I didn't have to deal with some of the extraneous variables that she has (kids, let alone one with special needs) hence, I feel a bit unqualified myself.

Frank, you made an excellent point when you said that things won't turn out as bad as they appear. Things DO have a way of working out for themselves, and if Kis WANTS that degree (not if, she DOES!), she will get that piece of paper.

I hope that this is helpful. Another thing we can do, which we are already doing is just to be here for her, and listen.

BTW, Frank. congrats on your 1,000 th post.

 

[kis123]

Let's talk about that mountain. You know the one I've been tackling for over three hours and just lost all the information? That one? Do you know what I could've been doing in the time I just wasted? Maybe my paper. Maybe my team project that's due in a week. Maybe sleep or talk to my daughter who I barely see and speak to.

The way the site is set up, the only thing you can save is online postings. So why in the hell does this man set up excel templates in this site? Why didn't he just email the templates so we can open them in excel. Why is he such a narcisistic jackass who obviously gains pleasure in my pain?

Please excuse me while I hurl myself from a window............

 

[featherfingers]

Giantfan, thanks for noticing my new red feather!
Kis, (you've really got me nervous) I had a job a few years back working for INS. The boss(a lady who was both an ex-Marine and ex-prison guard)made my life a living hell. I hated each day that I had to go there. One day, I gave my two weeks notice. A couple of days after I left that job, I met the person who would be responsible for my business becoming a success! I've been in business for 5 years since then! So, you see, you never know what's coming up just around the corner.

 

[steph]

(phones the fire dept and orders the boys to bring a net to post outside kis's window, just in case she jumps.)😛

Hang in there honey~"this too shall pass..."

XOXO

Let's talk about that mountain. You know the one I've been tackling for over three hours and just lost all the information? That one? Do you know what I could've been doing in the time I just wasted? Maybe my paper. Maybe my team project that's due in a week. Maybe sleep or talk to my daughter who I barely see and speak to.

The way the site is set up, the only thing you can save is online postings. So why in the hell does this man set up excel templates in this site? Why didn't he just email the templates so we can open them in excel. Why is he such a narcisistic jackass who obviously gains pleasure in my pain?

Please excuse me while I hurl myself from a window............

 

[giantfan121262]

I am like totally maxxed out on what to say at this point. Between everything that has been said by everybody, I think the best now is just to listen. Will try to get back tonight.

Got a painting project to tackle.

I hope you have a better day today, Kis.