Im finding myself going through something of a confidence crisis at the moment which is proving difficult to shake. Ive tried trawling the web for advice but Im finding either a lot of Blah along the lines of .."the secret of confidence is to be confident "(gee thanks) ,Or "Expert" 1 says do technique A...And "Expert" 2 says whatever you do dont do technique A .So my question is this; have any of you found a technique or system which has personally lifted your self confidence levels without needing an improvement in personal circumstances or required taking meds. Thanks.
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I need advice
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Good question. Deep. I've been where you are and asked the same question. Here's my take:
Every man needs a purpose. A "raison de être"( reason for being). The most confident and fullfilled men know this. Those lacking confidence lack this. This purpose can be simple " I want to party as much as I can" or it can be ambitious " I want to be the best politician I can be" hell it can be silly, I want to be the best tickler I can be. Doesn't matter what you choose but choose one.
Ok you've chosen one....feel more confident yet? Prob not. Now everything you do must support that purpose. I want to be a great leader. How does the tmf come into play? It helps me to relax. Everything you do must aid in making your purpose a reality. I'm a pilot in training and the leaders in my service are all pilots. See how I'm on my track? I work out, I fly, I know who I am who I need and what I want. This is the epitome of confidence. No one can shake me because I'm still on my track.
I suggest you sit down and really think about who you are. Be kind to yourself in this evaluation. Start from your earliest memory to where you are now, then figure out where you want to be. Then go for it. Everyday you should purposefully do something that puts you on track. Ideally your whole day will be devoted to your purpose.
Good luck
GQ
Every man needs a purpose. A "raison de être"( reason for being). The most confident and fullfilled men know this. Those lacking confidence lack this. This purpose can be simple " I want to party as much as I can" or it can be ambitious " I want to be the best politician I can be" hell it can be silly, I want to be the best tickler I can be. Doesn't matter what you choose but choose one.
Ok you've chosen one....feel more confident yet? Prob not. Now everything you do must support that purpose. I want to be a great leader. How does the tmf come into play? It helps me to relax. Everything you do must aid in making your purpose a reality. I'm a pilot in training and the leaders in my service are all pilots. See how I'm on my track? I work out, I fly, I know who I am who I need and what I want. This is the epitome of confidence. No one can shake me because I'm still on my track.
I suggest you sit down and really think about who you are. Be kind to yourself in this evaluation. Start from your earliest memory to where you are now, then figure out where you want to be. Then go for it. Everyday you should purposefully do something that puts you on track. Ideally your whole day will be devoted to your purpose.
Good luck
GQ
socktickler86
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Self confidence has to come from the fact that you've done something with your life, failure or success. Whatever you want to do in life right now, do it. If you fail, oh well, everyone fails most of the time. If you succeed, whoopie.
What do you want to do in life? short term and long term
What do you want to do in life? short term and long term
Bothersome
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Low self-esteem and confidence is tricky to get rid of.
Typically, one generates confidence through success in one way or another. However, success often requires that you have confidence in yourself. It's a nasty catch-22. I always try and set a goal when I do something. It helps me concentrate, and gives me something to focus on, rather than just blundering about, thinking about how unlikely it is that you'll succeed.
The best way to shake low confidence is to not give a crap about what other people think, in my opinion.
Typically, one generates confidence through success in one way or another. However, success often requires that you have confidence in yourself. It's a nasty catch-22. I always try and set a goal when I do something. It helps me concentrate, and gives me something to focus on, rather than just blundering about, thinking about how unlikely it is that you'll succeed.
The best way to shake low confidence is to not give a crap about what other people think, in my opinion.
Leo tickles
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Believe in what you stand for, or stand for something that you can fully believe in. When you believe, they believe.
Yes, I think youve all pretty much hit the nail on the head .Their is definitely a lack of purpose in my life right now .Okay, I have work to do, I cant keep trying to think my way out of my comfort zone. Thanks for your help.
I've been there. The missing link that most of these help sites forget or leave out is that you have to have something you can be confident about. It can be anything. Realistically, know what you have, know what you can do with it and be satisfied with that level of self awareness. If you don't have that kinda of result, then you have to improve on yourself until you are able to do the things YOU like and that matter to YOU.
Let me put it in another way, and as a question - Why do you care what other people think about you?
Most people care what others think about them, and this is one of the biggest confidence destroyers around - "If I mess up people will laugh at me, look down on me."
I say go for it, whatever it is you're trying to accomplish. If you fuck up, try again. And again.
The people who have something to say to you - they're not trying to accomplish anything in their life, so they don't count. The ones who support you, they count.
Also, tell yourself in the beginning, "Whatever I'm trying to do will usually be hard, but I'll do it anyway."
Going to a job interview is hard. It is nerve racking. But the rewards are worth the hardsip if you succeed - you've got the job you wanted. Losing weight is hard - it's months of sweat and eating right. But the rewards are a healthier, happier you. Paying off your debts is hard, but the rewards is more money in your pocket.
Those last two things are huge confidence builders. Exercising will boost natural happy endorphines, and will physicaly make you a bit more confident as you feel stronger physically.
Hope this helps, and good luck!
Most people care what others think about them, and this is one of the biggest confidence destroyers around - "If I mess up people will laugh at me, look down on me."
I say go for it, whatever it is you're trying to accomplish. If you fuck up, try again. And again.
The people who have something to say to you - they're not trying to accomplish anything in their life, so they don't count. The ones who support you, they count.
Also, tell yourself in the beginning, "Whatever I'm trying to do will usually be hard, but I'll do it anyway."
Going to a job interview is hard. It is nerve racking. But the rewards are worth the hardsip if you succeed - you've got the job you wanted. Losing weight is hard - it's months of sweat and eating right. But the rewards are a healthier, happier you. Paying off your debts is hard, but the rewards is more money in your pocket.
Those last two things are huge confidence builders. Exercising will boost natural happy endorphines, and will physicaly make you a bit more confident as you feel stronger physically.
Hope this helps, and good luck!
I don't think there is one person on here that doesn't struggle with self esteem. For those that say they don't, they're lying.
I struggle with the same thing. I don't make tons of money or date models, but I've found if you find one thing your good at then start with that. I enjoy martial arts. I've recently recieved my 4th degree brown and now working towards my black belt. That is something that helps with mine. It's really all a mental thing. The question is how do you change your way of thinking? If I only knew. I'd be rich.
I've met lots of guys that workout alot that have low self esteem too. The only thing I can recommend is to find something that makes you feel good about yourself and let nobody or nothing stop you from doing that.
I struggle with the same thing. I don't make tons of money or date models, but I've found if you find one thing your good at then start with that. I enjoy martial arts. I've recently recieved my 4th degree brown and now working towards my black belt. That is something that helps with mine. It's really all a mental thing. The question is how do you change your way of thinking? If I only knew. I'd be rich.
I've met lots of guys that workout alot that have low self esteem too. The only thing I can recommend is to find something that makes you feel good about yourself and let nobody or nothing stop you from doing that.
Marquis De Sade
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All good advice so far.
I don't think there's any specific technique since each person is unique and different. And certainly DON'T trawl the WEB of all places...
My suggestion would be to find one thing, it doesn't have to be what you want to spend the rest of your life doing necessarily, but find at least one small thing that you can learn, be good at and most importantly, is fun for you, but still a little challenging. Could be anything - cooking, a video game, a musical instrument, some other form of art or a sport. Then learn the living shit out of it until you're the best. Or at least until you can hold your own against others who have solid reputations in that field or get to the point where at least you can walk into the field of____and know for a fact you'll impress and do well.
Along the way you'll probably slowly realize that you can be epic at something and it'll boost your focus and self-esteem. Then you can start applying that confidence to other areas of your life.
If you can accomplish one thing you weren't good at before, there should be no reason why you can't start over with something new and be just as good at it. 🙂
I don't think there's any specific technique since each person is unique and different. And certainly DON'T trawl the WEB of all places...
My suggestion would be to find one thing, it doesn't have to be what you want to spend the rest of your life doing necessarily, but find at least one small thing that you can learn, be good at and most importantly, is fun for you, but still a little challenging. Could be anything - cooking, a video game, a musical instrument, some other form of art or a sport. Then learn the living shit out of it until you're the best. Or at least until you can hold your own against others who have solid reputations in that field or get to the point where at least you can walk into the field of____and know for a fact you'll impress and do well.
Along the way you'll probably slowly realize that you can be epic at something and it'll boost your focus and self-esteem. Then you can start applying that confidence to other areas of your life.
If you can accomplish one thing you weren't good at before, there should be no reason why you can't start over with something new and be just as good at it. 🙂
Backstep
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In addition to what's already been said, I get fulfillment out of helping others as well. When I feel lost and like I don't know what to do with myself, I do some volunteer stuff.
Nothing makes you appreciate what you have in your life like helping someone that's missing it, whether that's their health, family, home or mobility.
Nothing makes you appreciate what you have in your life like helping someone that's missing it, whether that's their health, family, home or mobility.
