I need all my TMF friends to be here for me

[tickleshotel]

I'm with wise NT~although in some ways, I can relate to your situation, you have my sympathy. I'm a firm believer that NO ONE is sent into our lives for no reason at all--think of it like a journey, all the people you meet are little stops along the way to your final destination.

On a brighter note, you get to start fresh now. (My situation is a lot like KingP in that "the interest" only became REALLY important to me fairly recently.) One of those bizarre things that happens in life is the way I see it~no one's fault really, it just turned out that way. Laurie~our little friend in SD knows how to reach me if you need to talk. Hang in there, girlie!

XOXO

Thanks HON!!😀 I agree with you saying things happen for a reason meeting people along the way on our journey..Spending the weekend in SD opened my eyes of just all what I was missing and if you can believe it,I thought my love for tickling,being tickled couldn;t be more passionate before the trip but OMG it;s so much more passionate than I could imagine !!.
Yes steph and trust me I am happy to know that soon I will have my maiden name back 😉,and I will start fresh 🙂.Thanks hon,I will contact our little friend 🙂.I would love to chat with you because talking does help 🙂. Also,seeing how much fun the west coast gatherings are having now(love that post about the glove 🙂] and maybe having monthly events will have me visiting that area again as well 🙂wink..

 

[MsDivaNYC]

Amazing book to read

Hey, TicklesHotel!

I'm saddened by your post. Hmmm...
My very best advice is to invest $14.00 in the book "Getting the Love You Want", by Harville Hendrix, Ph.D. This book was recommended by a friend's Mom who swears by it and credits her own marriage's success to it. She has been giving it out to friends and family for the Holidays for close to 10 yrs.

The book explains SO many things about relationships and love that wouldn't ordinarily cross your mind. For years I was reticent to advice from therapists, but this book has certainly changed My life. It's helped Me a lot lately in coping with and nurturing My long-distance engagement/relationship. I hope you'll consider My suggestion. Let Me know how it goes--best of Luck!

 

[crydun]

my heart goes out to you Laurie. This is why I'm hellbent on finding a fellow ticklephile or not getting married at all. I'm here for you if you need me. I'm just a pm away.

 

[tickleshotel]

my heart goes out to you Laurie. This is why I'm hellbent on finding a fellow ticklephile or not getting married at all. I'm here for you if you need me. I'm just a pm away.

Thank you hon!!!!!! I 2nd your sentiments above,I am not going to get involved with another guy unless I *know* he is just or More passionate about my love for tickling ,I now know tickling is a need,hunger in my life needing to be fulfilled for my true happiness

 

[featherfingers]

Hey, Laurie, I've never been married so I can't say I know exactly how you feel. One of my good friends got divorced and that affected me as well... I was good friends to both he and his wife.

You've been given a lot of good advice here. You've got good friends, you've certainly got me... only an hour and a half away from you. You'll make it through this ordeal. Keep in touch and please keep us updated.

 

[tickleshotel]

Hey, Laurie, I've never been married so I can't say I know exactly how you feel. One of my good friends got divorced and that affected me as well... I was good friends to both he and his wife.

You've been given a lot of good advice here. You've got good friends, you've certainly got me... only an hour and a half away from you. You'll make it through this ordeal. Keep in touch and please keep us updated.

Thanks featherfingers for your wonderful words ! Yes my soon to be ex are going to be starting the paperwork on saturday getting process going,and I am glad that I know my soon to be ex agree on everything,so this will not be a nasty drawn out divorce..Just going our own ways ,and knowing there is friendship between us ,wishing the best for each other..
Yes you are right,I have had excellent advice from my good friends here and I want to let each and every one know now that you all have a special place in my heart even though honestly some of you I know better than others 🙂.
Featherfingers thank you so much for your friendship,I hope to become better friends ..WEll..for now I am only a hour and a half from you,that will be changing as I have decided to head back to west coast ..

 

[natural tickler]

I know you'll be alright, it just takes time. Use it well😛

are online in messenger? let's chat😀

 

[tickleshotel]

I know you'll be alright, it just takes time. Use it well😛

are online in messenger? let's chat😀

AWWWWW thank you NT😀 ON my way😀 😉

 

[Knox The Hatter]

There used to be this maxim, "today's the first day of the rest of your life." I think this applies...
All of my best wishes for the future, my friend. Bleep him anyway if he doesn't appreciate you.

 

[tickleshotel]

Thank you Knox the hatter😀 Your right,that maxim definitely does apply in this situation 😀 Thank you for being a dear friend😀

 

[Iggy pop]

While divorce is never easy, it is at least made easier by the fact that you do not have kids. I wish you the best.

 

[chrisheaven]

Laurie, you will both be in my thoughts and prayers- It WILL be fine after a little time.Everything does work out for the best in the end....just takes us a while to realise it.
Chris.🙂

 

[kis123]

Hey TH,

I'm very sorry to hear you're getting divorced. I've been separated for a long time now and have reasons for not pursuing divorce that are personal. But, eventually, we'll part ways and go on with our lives even though he claims to love me and want me back-blah, blah, blah!!!

Well, this is about you right now, so....
I just want to let you know that although you feel terrible right now, you're going to feel a lot better down the road of life. I understand about him having selective memory disorder about your telling him about your tickling fetish and what it meant to you. A lot of people get married thinking they can change their spouse to who they want him/her to be without realizing that change comes from within and cannot be negotiated, cohersed, or forced. That's one of the main reasons why I left my husband. He comes from a culture that molds and shapes their women into something one rung above domesticated animals who cook, clean, make babies, and give them sex on demand whether she wants it or not-you never tell him "no". Everything is supposed to be about the man and she only gets to live the way he says she can. He really thought I was going to change just because we were married. He never showed those signs to me prior to getting married. It took ten years for this to come out. He didn't want to marry a woman in his culture-he just wanted to take me and make me one of them.

Once again, this is not about me, it's about you! It hurts right now, but once the sting comes out, you'll be better for it. You'll make that tickling passion a deal-maker or deal-breaker in your relationship from now on and don't waver with it! I call it the IF ONLY factor. Everything else about the guy is great, if only........When that happens, run! It's a disaster waiting to happen. Make no exceptions and make that tickling passion #1 or somewhere high on your list and you'll be better off over time. Rather to be lonely on the front end waiting for Mr. Tickle Right than to compromise and end up posting this same thread down the road wondering what went wrong.

 

[oldtimer]

Laurie, I to am very sorry to hear your news. I'am new to this forum somewhat. I been a member now for about 8 months and just kinda scan over the forums. I can tell ya That I know how you feel and back it up cause I been there. After 7 years and two kids me and my first wife divorced back in 1986. It hurt but with time it got better and in no time I met and married the love of my life of now almost 17 yrs. Now the funny thing is she hate to get tickled and I have a foot fetish that just won't quit. She pretty much lets me do with her feet but not like i would like for her too. But we love each other so much that our gond is stronger than our desires are. Now go out and find you a young whipper snapper that will tie you up and tickle those cute little feet of yours until you pee in your pants. and keep your chin up and reach for the stars.

Heys guys N gals maybe we should get togather and go out to me Laurie and tickle her back to high spirits??? I GET DIBS ON THE FEET


Johnny

 

[tickleshotel]

Hey TH,

I'm very sorry to hear you're getting divorced. I've been separated for a long time now and have reasons for not pursuing divorce that are personal. But, eventually, we'll part ways and go on with our lives even though he claims to love me and want me back-blah, blah, blah!!!

Well, this is about you right now, so....
I just want to let you know that although you feel terrible right now, you're going to feel a lot better down the road of life. I understand about him having selective memory disorder about your telling him about your tickling fetish and what it meant to you. A lot of people get married thinking they can change their spouse to who they want him/her to be without realizing that change comes from within and cannot be negotiated, cohersed, or forced. That's one of the main reasons why I left my husband. He comes from a culture that molds and shapes their women into something one rung above domesticated animals who cook, clean, make babies, and give them sex on demand whether she wants it or not-you never tell him "no". Everything is supposed to be about the man and she only gets to live the way he says she can. He really thought I was going to change just because we were married. He never showed those signs to me prior to getting married. It took ten years for this to come out. He didn't want to marry a woman in his culture-he just wanted to take me and make me one of them.

Once again, this is not about me, it's about you! It hurts right now, but once the sting comes out, you'll be better for it. You'll make that tickling passion a deal-maker or deal-breaker in your relationship from now on and don't waver with it! I call it the IF ONLY factor. Everything else about the guy is great, if only........When that happens, run! It's a disaster waiting to happen. Make no exceptions and make that tickling passion #1 or somewhere high on your list and you'll be better off over time. Rather to be lonely on the front end waiting for Mr. Tickle Right than to compromise and end up posting this same thread down the road wondering what went wrong.

Hi kis!!thank you so much sweetie for contributing to this post and giving me such good advice😀 Like I said,this passion of tickling,being tickled has is and has created a divide similar to a river that one can;t cross,it just gets wider and wider.I take comfort in at least we do have a good friendship,and want happiness for each other even though we know we can;t,don;t find true happiness together. Actually I am taking the perspective like a few others that this is a learning experience and that it was meant for me to grow from this lesson and move on and know what to avoid in future which I feel I know how it feels right now which I never want to feel again.. I know in my soul that my soon to be ex does care for me,love me in his own way but he doesn;t love my tickling passion which to me is a thorn in my side because I would so love to have him accept it,get into tickling himself but I know that won;t happen...because as I have this motto I could use as a concept which is " your not just *kinda* pregnant,either you Are or you Arent..." When I use this concept trying to applying it to what I am going through now with my tickling passion being so captivating and I can;t get enough and not seeing the enjoyment on my soon to be ex;s face and knowing that his heart is entralled with other interests I couldn;t just stand to be unhappy,🙁.
Thanks hon!!

 

[jersey_tickler]

I know we haven't spoken in a while, but I am truly sorry about your marriage. My parents have been divorced since I was seven, and I can absolutely sympathize with your situation. It still is painful when you look at the photo albums and you know that you don't have what you once had anymore. I am getting moved to tears just thinking about it.

Of course I'm not married, so it is different. But I have been very scared to committe because I am afraid of failing at marriage like my folks. My heart goes out to you and you will be in my prayers. I hope you get through this alright, and please keep us all updated so we know how you are doing. I know you will find a special person out there who will appreciate who you are, and I have no doubt you will find him.

 

[chickles_:)]

Empathy from a friend

Ohh, TicklesHotel,
I really feel for you in the midst of the decision you and your partner have taken. 🙁
Like everyone else who has posted, I just want to reach out with hugs-of-support, Zen-hugs a friend used to call it. (hugs that stretch across the miles when you can't be there in person 🙂 )

I know you will get through this, and that it will work out, and, certainly with this board, you'll have more than enough decent solid guys who share your passion, who will be willing to get to know you better.

I'm glad for you and for your soon-to-be ex, that you have decided to try to remain friends. I know some ex-couples who really make this happen. I say that because, well, it's not easy. Divorce is a ticklish business,[😛] speaking from experience. Even though no one wants it to, it can get pretty confrontational. With the will to make-it-work no longer there to keep us civil, all those long and deep resentments can bubble up pretty easily.

I guess i just want to say, if you really do want to stay friends, that's great, but hon, it takes a even more work than a regular friendship - especially as you both go through the process of dismantling an intimate relationship.

Just remember, what gets said in the process of divorce will affect any longterm prospects of rebuilding a friendship in the future. Try to resist the urge to feel good by attacking the other's weakpoints.
Does that make sense?
I do hope this helps.

As with all the other friends who've responded in your time of need, you're in my heart and prayers.

P.S. I know i've been away recently - it's been the mega-job-move. 🙄
But i'm back. So if, along with your many other friends, you want to talk, feel free to PM me too. 🙂

Many blessings, TH, you're a beautiful person!
Chickles_🙂

 

[Tickling_bully]

chin up lauri

Although we have never IMd I have been reading your posts for years. I echo what everyone else has been saying, the affection, sympathy, shared sense of loss, perhaps regret. But also the optimism that you are clearing a space in your life for something wonderful to happen. And it will. And you are not alone on the path you are on now. Thousands if not tens of thousands of couples sepereate each year because of incompatibilities in sexual kink. Not something you will read in Cosmo but sadly true. Fortunately Laurie the best is yet to come. You have soooooo many wonderful experiences to look forward to. If you ever find yourself near or around DC I would be delighted to show you the wonderful National gallery (DCs a great town for art) and take you out for a celebratory toast.

big cyber hug,

Chris M

 

[Knox The Hatter]

"It still is painful when you look at the photo albums and you know that you don't have what you once had anymore"...

I know that this statement, in my case, refers to my hair 😛

 

[tickleshotel]

Re: Empathy from a friend

Ohh, TicklesHotel,
I really feel for you in the midst of the decision you and your partner have taken. 🙁
Like everyone else who has posted, I just want to reach out with hugs-of-support, Zen-hugs a friend used to call it. (hugs that stretch across the miles when you can't be there in person 🙂 )

I know you will get through this, and that it will work out, and, certainly with this board, you'll have more than enough decent solid guys who share your passion, who will be willing to get to know you better.

I'm glad for you and for your soon-to-be ex, that you have decided to try to remain friends. I know some ex-couples who really make this happen. I say that because, well, it's not easy. Divorce is a ticklish business,[😛] speaking from experience. Even though no one wants it to, it can get pretty confrontational. With the will to make-it-work no longer there to keep us civil, all those long and deep resentments can bubble up pretty easily.

I guess i just want to say, if you really do want to stay friends, that's great, but hon, it takes a even more work than a regular friendship - especially as you both go through the process of dismantling an intimate relationship.

Just remember, what gets said in the process of divorce will affect any longterm prospects of rebuilding a friendship in the future. Try to resist the urge to feel good by attacking the other's weakpoints.
Does that make sense?
I do hope this helps.

As with all the other friends who've responded in your time of need, you're in my heart and prayers.

P.S. I know i've been away recently - it's been the mega-job-move. 🙄
But i'm back. So if, along with your many other friends, you want to talk, feel free to PM me too. 🙂

Many blessings, TH, you're a beautiful person!
Chickles_🙂

AWWWW 😀 Thank you so much Chickles_ for your words of friendship,showing me that you care too !! Your so sweet for all the wonderful things you say about me I am just taking it day by day ,sometimes feeling sad,helpless and other days feeling confident,seize the day mood..IT helps to truly know I have good friends here on TMF that wish all the best for me and 😀