I want to like the chat room, really I do!

[piyr]

It's not that I dislike it. I've tried it a couple times but it doesn't feel like a natural place for me to strike up conversations.

It's funny because I often find myself engaging with strangers out in public. I'll throw out an inconsequential comment and it goes from there with no real goal other than to pass time and be friendly.

But for some reason I can't get comfortable with starting or responding to initial chats. It just seems weird to get a message that starts off "do you tickle often?" Or, "do you want to talk about hot chicks that we'd want to tickle"? No, I don't. To be fair though, what else are they supposed to ask me? This is the tickling forum afterall.

I've made comments in the forums that resonate with people and turn into fun exchanges but those aren't conversations and tend to fade quickly even though we would probably click.

A random exchange in public is easier. Smiles, eye contact, comments, receptiveness, small talk and done. Maybe you connect later if there's personal or business interest but usually not.

Sometimes I wonder if most of the people that seem to know each other in the chat room met at an event rather than on a chat.

I want to like it, really I do, but It just hasn't clicked.

Thoughts?

 

[yinzer]

I haven't really used chat rooms since I first got online before social media was even really a thing. That was what people used back then. I liked it because I was extremely shy and introverted and I saw it as easier for me to meet new people that way, connect but at a distance, people I would be highly unlikely to ever have the opportunity to meet any other way.

I've actually been thinking I should maybe use chat here, particularly since the forums are often slow and I'm bored 😆 but I always end up feeling like I'd just be wasting my time. I think most, if not all, of the attractive women here get chased away by the creeps, harassed, overwhelmed and inundated with crass messages they don't' want to bother to sort thru to get to people who are genuine. I've seen multiple women on here complaining about this, which is how I know it's clearly a huge problem here.

Even now that I'm older, I'm still terrible at just striking up conversations with random strangers, so that's great you're comfortable with that. I've also always hated small talk, especially things like checking out at the stores (I always use self-checkout when it's available), haircuts, etc. I notice even at the gym talking to women is almost taboo and people don't seem to want to be bothered with it in general.

So yeah, I wish chat was a good place to meet and connect with genuine people, but I remain skeptical I wouldn't just end up wasting more time on this site than I already do!

 

[piyr]

You're right. Most public situations aren't condusive to random conversations with strangers. The gym is especially hard in my opinion.

When I chat with someone, it's usually because we're in proximity to each other and neither of us are going anywhere, ie waiting in line, dr office waiting room, waiting for a restaurant table. It's also easier because I'm not trying to meet the opposite sex. I'm literally just talking to whoever is there and wants to strike up a convo. In fact, I'm often with my wife. It drives her crazy. 😂 I think in the chat, defenses are up and it's automatically awkward by nature because of the type of forum.

 

[yinzer]

You're right. Most public situations aren't condusive to random conversations with strangers. The gym is especially hard in my opinion.

When I chat with someone, it's usually because we're in proximity to each other and neither of us are going anywhere, ie waiting in line, dr office waiting room, waiting for a restaurant table. It's also easier because I'm not trying to meet the opposite sex. I'm literally just talking to whoever is there and wants to strike up a convo. In fact, I'm often with my wife. It drives her crazy. 😂 I think in the chat, defenses are up and it's automatically awkward by nature of the type of forum.

I guess to clarify I should've really said 'especially' rather than 'even' at the gym haha. I'm usually just trying to focus on what I'm doing at the gym anyways, so not a great place to strike up conversation with random strangers, and like you say, most public places don't work well for that. On the other hand, I also know what you mean about situations where conversation can feel more natural, those times when you're both just maybe waiting for something like you mentioned.

 

[Ghostwriter727]

It's not that I dislike it. I've tried it a couple times but it doesn't feel like a natural place for me to strike up conversations.

It's funny because I often find myself engaging with strangers out in public. I'll throw out an inconsequential comment and it goes from there with no real goal other than to pass time and be friendly.

But for some reason I can't get comfortable with starting or responding to initial chats. It just seems weird to get a message that starts off "do you tickle often?" Or, "do you want to talk about hot chicks that we'd want to tickle"? No, I don't. To be fair though, what else are they supposed to ask me? This is the tickling forum afterall.

I've made comments in the forums that resonate with people and turn into fun exchanges but those aren't conversations and tend to fade quickly even though we would probably click.

A random exchange in public is easier. Smiles, eye contact, comments, receptiveness, small talk and done. Maybe you connect later if there's personal or business interest but usually not.

Sometimes I wonder if most of the people that seem to know each other in the chat room met at an event rather than on a chat.

I want to like it, really I do, but It just hasn't clicked.

Thoughts?

Timing plays a pretty big role in the chat community. When I get on the chat its usually because I have time to kill or just have a specific topic to fire off at the willing responders. (And sometimes it falls flat anyway)😂

It can feel frustrating at times, but again some people are already "private chatting" or some groups are just engaged in a topic that has been trending for a while.

Its a tricky task to get an fun, and responsive group of TMFers at times, but when you find the right tribe it can get pretty addicting as well.

Keep tryjng, and I'm sure you'll find a few diamonds in the coal. Hope this helps a little.🤙

 

[Deepsea0808]

I've recently joined TMF and have tried to engage in the chat room. 1st Day, I was accused that my profile pic was stolen ( its my friends feet ) and accused of being a catfish despite me introducing myself correctly. Age Gender etc I find it very toxic at times, and now barely check in. When I see certain names in the chat, I bail.

 

[SugarSoaker]

I’m in the chat room all the time. I’ve accepted it as what it is. A potpourri of catfish, thirsty people jerking off, and people just trying to shoot the shit with strangers. I’ve just tried to find which niche I belong in and have fun 🤪

 

[BlueLine7045]

So there are members on here that have been active on the community for decades. Go into the chat room every day to talk and hang out. I've always kinda felt like if youre not one of them, its hard to hang with them. Despite this account, I have been on this forum for a LONG time. Id say close to 15+ years. But I am more of a lurker than a chatter or event attender. So I dont really know anyone. As such, trying to chat with people when theyre all chatting kinda gives me 3rd wheel vibes if you know what I mean. It really depends on what you want. A lot of people just rush in and start talking heavily about tickling but not everyone wants that. I try to just chill and talk about whatever and mix a little tickling in, but every time I log in the room is pretty dead.

Tried getting a convo going about the football game last night and only 1 or 2 people responded. Everyone else must have been private chatting or something.

 

[Lee Lerish]

I admit the chatroom can be weird, and the "do you want to talk about hot chicks that we'd want to tickle"?, I get asked all the time, and I find it pretty stupid. You'd think if they were really interested in "hot chicks," they'd try to talk to one, instead of bothering another guy, so go figure. I learned you just have to ignore all those ignorant PM's, and stay out in the main room and try and get to know everyone...it can be frustrating and take a lot of time, especially when there's 50 people in there and they are all in PM's and no one's chatting out in the main room, but then that's when you need to try again later, because it can be active at times. It's takes a lot of patience, that's for sure.

 

[Lee Lerish]

I've recently joined TMF and have tried to engage in the chat room. 1st Day, I was accused that my profile pic was stolen ( its my friends feet ) and accused of being a catfish despite me introducing myself correctly. Age Gender etc I find it very toxic at times, and now barely check in. When I see certain names in the chat, I bail.

I know what you mean...someone in chat recently accused me of trying to manipulate people there...WHAT? No, that certainly wasn't me, but yeah, there's definitely a lot of that going on in the chat, but it's not cool to get accused of something you didn't do, so obviously this person got me confused with someone else. Or maybe they made it up, who knows? There's weird people in the chat, but there's also some nice ones, it just takes time to get to know them, but I think it's still worth it. As for all the PM's I get from other guys asking about what girls I'd like to tickle, or showing me their "wife's" feet, just ignore or block them, that's all you can do, I think eventually they'll get the message.

 

[Deepsea0808]

I know what you mean...someone in chat recently accused me of trying to manipulate people there...WHAT? No, that certainly wasn't me, but yeah, there's definitely a lot of that going on in the chat, but it's not cool to get accused of something you didn't do, so obviously this person got me confused with someone else. Or maybe they made it up, who knows? There's weird people in the chat, but there's also some nice ones, it just takes time to get to know them, but I think it's still worth it. As for all the PM's I get from other guys asking about what girls I'd like to tickle, or showing me their "wife's" feet, just ignore or block them, that's all you can do, I think eventually they'll get the message.

Case in point, I haven't been on for some time, and went in and said hey, morning everyone, and instantly many people jumped on and said the fish is back, so wont ever be back. its toxic

 

[Lee Lerish]

Case in point, I haven't been on for some time, and went in and said hey, morning everyone, and instantly many people jumped on and said the fish is back, so wont ever be back. its toxic

It can be toxic, but why did they think you were a catfish, anyway? There must be a reason. Maybe you could just try explaining why you're not? What's a catfish anyway? I've heard of it. Is that when someone tries to pretend they're someone they're not? Well there are dozens in that room who do that, so maybe that's why they thought you were one of them, like I said, a guy in there accused me of trying to manipulate people, and I did no such thing, so there you go. So yeah, it definitely can be toxic, and it's a major reason why I've left this site several times. So I don't blame you for not wanting to go back. I would think that room should be moderated, and by more than one moderator, but then that's up to whoever runs the TMF, so I'm not sure why it isn't. There's a TMF member who's been in the chat for years, who has a picture of a girl on his avatar, but everyone knows he's a guy. So I'm not sure why he doesn't get kicked out.

So you definitely have a point. If it were up to me, I'd ask TMF members to volunteer to be moderators, and clean up that place.

 

[Deepsea0808]

It can be toxic, but why did they think you were a catfish, anyway? There must be a reason. Maybe you could just try explaining why you're not? What's a catfish anyway? I've heard of it. Is that when someone tries to pretend they're someone they're not? Well there are dozens in that room who do that, so maybe that's why they thought you were one of them, like I said, a guy in there accused me of trying to manipulate people, and I did no such thing, so there you go. So yeah, it definitely can be toxic, and it's a major reason why I've left this site several times. So I don't blame you for not wanting to go back. I would think that room should be moderated, and by more than one moderator, but then that's up to whoever runs the TMF, so I'm not sure why it isn't. There's a TMF member who's been in the chat for years, who has a picture of a girl on his avatar, but everyone knows he's a guy. So I'm not sure why he doesn't get kicked out.

So you definitely have a point. If it were up to me, I'd ask TMF members to volunteer to be moderators, and clean up that place.

I'm not a catfish you are missing the point, im accused straight away! the room is full of awful people how does hey good morning mark me as a catfish?

 

[Deepsea0808]

I'm not a catfish you are missing the point, im accused straight away! the room is full of awful people how does hey good morning mark me as a catfish?

i ahve done nothing but say my gender and age and name so the chat is inherently toxic

 

[Deepsea0808]

It can be toxic, but why did they think you were a catfish, anyway? There must be a reason. Maybe you could just try explaining why you're not? What's a catfish anyway? I've heard of it. Is that when someone tries to pretend they're someone they're not? Well there are dozens in that room who do that, so maybe that's why they thought you were one of them, like I said, a guy in there accused me of trying to manipulate people, and I did no such thing, so there you go. So yeah, it definitely can be toxic, and it's a major reason why I've left this site several times. So I don't blame you for not wanting to go back. I would think that room should be moderated, and by more than one moderator, but then that's up to whoever runs the TMF, so I'm not sure why it isn't. There's a TMF member who's been in the chat for years, who has a picture of a girl on his avatar, but everyone knows he's a guy. So I'm not sure why he doesn't get kicked out.

So you definitely have a point. If it were up to me, I'd ask TMF members to volunteer to be moderators, and clean up that place.

you agree its toxic? case closed

 

[Lee Lerish]

I'm not a catfish you are missing the point, im accused straight away! the room is full of awful people how does hey good morning mark me as a catfish?

I believe you're not, which is precisely MY point, in that the chatroom here is definitely toxic and should be cleaned up, moderated. There's so many damn catfish in there that everyone is suspected of being one. So you get accused of something you're not, the same as I was.