Identity/Scene Names

[Audiac]

Hi! I'm not a frequent contributor to the forum, but I have a question I would like to pose to anyone who might be willing to help. I have only been to a couple of gatherings, but one thing that has always made me somewhat apprehensive when attending (and has prevented me from attending a couple) is the issue of confidentiality. I have a very uncommon name, and in past gatherings have identified myself by this name (though only my first). I am thinking that it might be better/safer to use a pseudonym--not that I think that anyone would maliciously divulge my identity, but I think I might be more comfortable. Not my TMF handle, but an alternate first name for gatherings. Does anyone else do this? I know it occurs a fair amount in the BDSM community, but I was wondering how widely accepted it is in the tickling community, especially since there is some overlap between the two. For those that do use an psuedonym, is it weird/awkward if you become good friends with those that you meet at gatherings and find yourself in a situation where you reveal that the name you have been using is not your actual name? Am I overthinking this whole thing? Any suggestions would be most helpful. Thanks.

 

[Snail Shell]

If you go to a gathering saying your name is John Smith, no reasonable human being would claim that you're using a pseudonym. If you want to be called John, introduce yourself as John and everyone will call you John. Nobody will know the difference. If you don't want to connect "John" to a screen name, tell them you don't want to use your screen name or use a fake one.

Nobody will know the difference unless you tell them.

Snail Shell

 

[BlackestLily]

If it makes you feel safer, do it! Just have it as a "nickname". Sometimes at gatherings people will post on here later giving props to people, and they use people's names. So if you're not cool with that even accidentally happening, pick something like a middle name. I think people are fairly forgiving (if they were to find out) because it's an understandable fear.

 

[sasaxrah]

Sure, use a fake name. Some people do it, and I don't think it's a big deal.

You usually need an ID (like at NEST) so understand that the gathering organizers will know your real name. But these are trustworthy people, I wouldn't worry.

 

[desdemona]

I dated someone who used a pseudo at gatherings. It was sometimes hard for him to remember to respond to the name (let alone me!), so just make sure it's something easy that you can adjust to.

 

[KrazieDog]

You are also free to use just your screen name if you so choose. On your name tag for NEST, you decide when filling out the form what you want it to say, so if Audiac is what you want to go by, so be it. Whatever you tell people is what they will go by. Like sasaxrah said above you, people are pretty cool.

I usually ask someone on the forum before using their name even in a tribute thread. I know all three of the posters above me pretty well and met them multiple times and while two don't care if their name is posted here, another is not. Two have their pics here on the forum, one does not (different combo from the names). Point is, people are pretty respectful and will go with what you want.

 

[TklDuo-Ann]

You usually need an ID (like at NEST) so understand that the gathering organizers will know your real name. But these are trustworthy people, I wouldn't worry.

I can confirm this. Having helped with registration, etc. for NEST three years back, Lee & I were the only ones who had access to the names. Well, other than of those who signed up for the kidnapping. Those folks names were known by the person organizing the kidnappings and then only because of the release form they needed to sign. We very closely guarded the confidentiality of all who applied (including those who didn't even end up coming)...to the point of considerable personal strife. The information isn't going anywhere! You're safe. While I can't speak for Lee or any other host, I don't know of any who would take issue with you using a pseudonym as long as you were up front with them about it in registration.

As for other folks responses... I've met a number of folks in the community who do this. The only reason I find out is that trust grows once we get to know one another and they end up knowing that they're safe in telling us their real names. I think the concern about being found out/outed is one that most share. So, I can't imagine anyone NOT understanding.