If you don't smoke, would you date a smoker?

[unclebill]

Agreed - I hate kissing people with cigarette breath, so it's a deal breaker for me. Eating something unhealthy or driving over the speed limit in a car are also unhealthy and risky. It doesn't seem fair to target this one activity, smoking, and making it the biggest deal breaker out there.

Agreed.....cigarette breath is the worst. I won`t date a smoker. Nuff said.

 

[Mirage]

I've always believed that one should not judge another person, unless that person's actions directly affect their emotional or physical health, or the quality of their lives.

Quality of life is very subjective concept....just being a devil's advocate here...For some people smoking brings a high utility (happiness). Most smokers do understand the concequences of prolonged smoking, and if they choose to smoke they do it because having a smoke gives them greater utility than potential costs (i.e not just straight dollar amount they pay for it, but also the long-term health effect it may have on them). Whether their preferences (and hence the amount of utility they get) change over time is another question. So in this light: should we be judgemental of people who smoke to get sattisfaction/happiness from it?....

Now you can say people get addicted ....Not really...If one wants to quit, that person will quite. Idea that people cannot quit smoking because of being addicted is a big fallacy. My only conclusion that if a person continues to smoke, smoking still brings them higher utility then being non-smoket.

Now to the actual question...I am non-smoker, and I hate to be around when people smoke. However, if I really liked the person-smoker who could be a potential boyfriend, I would have not pushed him away because of it.
If the relationship with smoker would get serious, there can be two outcomes: first, you might eventionally be able to convince that person to quite; or second, you would just get used to it.

 

[falcon]

nope. couldn't date a smoker.

 

[ticklemepls]

my dad was a smoker... so i was kinda used to it growing up =/ I am however, allergic to cigg smoke so no, i cant say that i'd be able to....

 

[Flatfoot]

I lived with my mother's chain-smoking for 18 years, and though I've always hated it, I didn't know what it was like to breathe cleanly in a car or living space until after I moved out. My first wife picked up smoking, which (among a number of things) was a huge turn-off. Eventually, I picked up smoking while I was deployed, but subject to the government's rules about smoking in designated areas, as well as a boss who kept an eye on people wasting the workday on cigarettes, I was only a casual smoker, and still hated the smell. I refused to smoke anywhere indoors, and a pack lasted me about three days at a time. I used to fight with my first wife, because she smoked indoors, at the computer, ashing all over the desk. Oh yeah, it also bugs me when smokers aren't "ash-conscious", like when you're standing around talking in a circle, and one flicks their ash, not realizing that it just blew and landed on your clothing.

Anyway, I quit after a year, never experiencing the nasty mood swings and irritation that everyone always talks about (much to my disappointment!). It didn't feel like I really "lost" anything. It was more like I stopped buying Dr. Pepper, or something.

Okay, long tangent aside, whenever I've see a woman who is smokin' hot, I don't care how hot she is, when I see her put that cigarette up to her lips, it's a total buzz-kill. No matter how gorgeous she looks, I can't help but think her fingers smell like "burn" and so do her clothes. Over time, her voice will get raspy. When I see women (or anyone, really!) driving down the road with a cigarette between their fingers, I'm not thinking they're hot. It actually irritates me that they're depreciating the value of their car (ESPECIALLY if they've got their window rolled up!). Also, here in Ohio, cigarettes are mad-expensive, roughly 50 bucks a carton (That's about what my water bill costs.)! Many smokers I know go to Kentucky to buy their smokes, since they're cheaper there, but I still see it as too much money to be burning up, literally.

 

[Deuce]

Wow all these years I though it was cause I was ugly or an ass but all along it's been the smoking LOL

 

[Deadsea7777]

I'm just kind of curious about this because a few nights ago I met a very nice girl at a bar and we hit it off right away. She is really into me and I like talking to her, but I found out that she smokes and I don't. I don't like smoke or even being around smokers because of the smell. Is it worth not pursuing things further because of that, or am I being pretty shallow in considering cutting her off before anything even gets started?

I almost feel like I should just see where things lead before worrying about the smoking thing. Maybe she's gonna try to quit at some point or maybe she isn't a super heavy smoker. I don't know, but I'm thinking it may be really shallow of me to ruin something if she is into me. For all I know she is super nice and it could lead to good things if I just overlook it.

What are your opinions about dating a smoker if you don't smoke?

Both or my parents smoke. I do not. I grow up reading the Reader's Digest and its campaign against tobacco. It was the first popular magazine,in 1942, in the world to state that based on research tobacco was bad for health. In 1962 it stated that the evidence was irrefutable and in consequence it will honor the publicity contracts already signed and paid, but from there on it was not to accept more tobacco ads. It has a chain of articles and notes, like "Anatomy of a murder", "The clues of an homicide", "I am John's lung" and many more which persuade me drop by drop not to smoke ever.
Persuasion is the key. Not verbal violence or intolerance.

Back to your question, I prefer a smoker who is a great person, the best mother/father, the lovely husband/wife, a wonderful lover, a true exceptional person to live with to a non smoker who is a racist, or some other evil.

Gambling, drinking, smoking, drugs are all vices. The interesting thing is that gambling does not involve an external substance. The least damaging for the family structure is smoking.

Hitler was a vegetarian and no smoker because it considered that eating animal meat was cruel. I do prefer a beef eater in that case.
Or I do prefer a democratic smoker and drinker like Churchill than a tyrant like Hitler.

My point is do not reject a good person because he/she smokes. Nobody is perfect. Take a time to see if she is worth of your love or friendships.

Ask her what she think about the tickling fetish. Maybe she thinks that is a disgusting deviant practice, and she would not have anything to do with you. Or maybe she tell you that all forms of sexuality between consenting adults are an expression of love and she loves to participate. In the second case for me at least I would put my hate of smoking in the freezer.

And at last, if my beloved dies out of smoking I would not love her less, in fact I would cry on her grave, no matter what. I would regret my lack of ability to persuade her.

 

[milagros317]

I don't smoke and never have. I would date a smoker if she had other fine qualities. 😀

 

[pfromptown]

Maybe I'm just speaking as an ex-smoker and don't want to be a hypocrite, but my girly smokes and I think that's up to her, just as long as, for health reasons, she quits sooner rather than later, and makes the effort to cover up the smell, which I did when I smoked and which I think all smokers should.

 

[Mitchell]

I also look at it this way: I don't want to go through with a wife, what I went through with my grandfather, and what I'm going through with my mom. I'm aware that non smokers get cancer too, but, smoking greatly increases the risk. Every doctor who my mom has seen this year has said to us "Yes, she quit, seven years ago, but she smoked for.. if not 50 years, close to it. Smoking does it's damage".

I smoked a pipe, and a few.. joints.. for a year, when I was in college. Two friends thought it would be cool to get pipes, so we all did. We had one other friend, who would go ballistic if we smoked around him, because one of the friends with the pipes, was the ballistic guy's roommate.

So, one Monday, I come back to school, and the guy who had gone ballistic about our smoking, opens his room door, with a pipe in his mouth! The four of us then smoked pipes for the rest of that year.

When I came home that summer, I threw the pipe away, and just went off it cold turkey. I haven't had a puff of a pipe, or a joint, since.

Dating a smoker wouldn't cause me to want to go back to smoking, however, the thought of it smelling up my house, not to mention the health damage it could do to her, me, or our children, from secondary smoke. No thank you, no way. 33 years of secondary smoke was enough for me, tyvm.

Mitch

 

[Skipadeedoodah]

I'm not a huge fan of smoking in general. I don't enjoy the way smokers tend to smell, or the way I smell when I've been around them. I don't enjoy being around people who are smoking indoors. It burns my throat and I can't breathe. But more than anything, I can't kiss a smoker. I've done it before and it's just super disgusting to me. Kissing is so much fun - I can't see letting it be ruined for me because I'm dating a smoker. So yeah - it's a dealbreaker for me.

That having been said, you mentioned that you saw her smoking at the bar. That might not mean she's a "smoker" I have a cigarette or two when I drink sometimes (don't ask - it doesn't make sense - it just feels good at the time) and I'm certainly not a smoker. I also know people who smoke literally one or two cigarettes or cigars a month, just because they enjoy it. If it's that important to you, find out how often she smokes before you write her off as an option.

Good luck!