I'm giving up.

[ZeroLuckGuy]

I don't post here often, but I see, read, and watch as much as I can what the TMF has to offer. But I feel a forum cannot give me all the answers.

Not only do I still have numerous questions, some of the answers I receive only confuse me more.

Previously I started a thread here. Thank you to those who did respond and try to help.

For over 10 years I've been trying to find someone (a female) interested, and more importantly, enthusiastic about the concept of tickling a guy. I've realized this is an impossible task for me.

What I have learned is that in order to find someone like this, they MUST have a fetish for it. The whole "converting-vanilla's theory" does not work at all. If you want to restrain/tie up a person and tickle them, they MUST have a fetish for it, ordinary friends will NEVER do something like that. I'll admit, I completely fail in understanding how one goes about bringing something like this up to a "vanilla" friend with success.

Many people suggested go the gathering or NEST. I can't afford to do anything like that. Yes I live near the NYC metro area. But I cannot travel or have the money to go anywhere (unless someone is willing to drive and pick me up and such). So that option is not available. As well as asking a friend - impossible. Others have suggested I join fetlife or something similar, which is fine but I'm well past the point of reading about this, and wondering, and dreaming, and watching videos, and looks at pictures, and fantasizing about it. So what other option do I have if anything involving money is not-doable?

Recently I brought this concept of tickling up to someone I knew. Not only was she not interested, which I was already fully expecting, but she said she doesn't see where the fun would be as the tickler. For some reason I don't think it gets any lower than that. Most of the people I discuss this with can see the fun in it IF they were interested. But that made think if I'm after something I don't even fully understand.

Like I said it's been over 10 years of failure, and if you were to ask me why I want to be tickled, I could't tell you. It's been so long I don't know what the original reason was anymore. I'm at the point where I just want to meet one person in life interested in this, give them a big hug, thank them for being in the same room as me, and then be done with it. I'm not even sure if I want to go through with this anymore even if I do find someone (or a group).

I've also realized because I've been disappointed so many times my interest in tickling is decreasing. Been trying to figure out what that means, and what I've discovered has been more than a revelation to me.

Certain things are not meant to happen to certain people.
As I said in my other post, I've never had a girlfriend, and I've never even been on a date. I believe some people are meant to be alone, and some people are better off alone. I think I am one of those people. I am not meant to become famous, or cure any diseases, or win the lottery. And all that is fine because I understand why.
As well as, I am not meant to have any type of tickling experience as seen on the TMF, and in all this time I've been trying to figure out why I am striking out whenever I try to make it happen. Now I realize, it's not supposed to happen to me. Someone else is supposed to become famous. Someone else is supposed to win the lottery. And somebody else is supposed have their interest in tickling fulfilled.

So I've decided to just stop. I'm done visiting the TMF and reading the True Tickling stories and wishes something like that could happen to me. I'm done watching videos and looking at pictures and wishing I was the ticklee. I'm done searching threads for answers to questions I wonder about. (I'll check this post for a little while incase anybody has a question for me). I'm done looking at these models in videos and seeing such passion and excitement in their faces and wonder if these people actually exist.

I don't know if tickling is that important anyway, or if it was ever that important to me. You can only fail so many times. In fact it has made me physically tired being disappointed again and again and again. Are their greater tragedies in life, yes. But I understand those (well, mostly anyway). But why I can't have a tickling experience apart from that family member poking you in the side just to be annoying, I will never know. I will spend the rest of my life wondering why. Why me.

In life, some things you are just certain of. And I know having any tickling experience just won't happen.

Part of me wishes I made this decision years ago so I could avoid all the disappoint and frustration that occurred throughout this span in my life.

So I know there are good people here, and thank you all in advance whether we spoke earlier or not.

If I can think of anything else to say, I'll add it in a reply. Like I said, I'm pretty tired.

 

[Comfort Eagle]

Sorry that it didn't work out for ya.

 

[nosforatiop]

Hey man,
First of all, I understand your frustration. It's not easy having this fetish and having to explain it to vanilla people. Personally I think the concept of destiny is bullshit, which gives us the ability to work with what we have. If I may: I think your trying to sprint before you've even learned to crawl. Let me clarify: If you've never been on a date or hooked up with a girl in the traditional fashion, you will not get them to indulge your fetish. Truth is you have to get them to like you first. Every person I've played with (besides the ladies at the Dominion ahem!) has been vanilla. Why? I don't hit them over the head with my fetish. I courted them, kissed, usually sex came first. And once I was confident they liked me I let them in on my secret in a tactful manner. Guess what? They we're willing to indulge me because they liked me, and I'm mostly a ler. If getting a date is the problem, you have to examine what it is about yourself you need to work on. Normally it comes down to two things: hygiene and confidence my friend; women are attracted to both. And secondly my brother, I recommend you face one harsh reality; this shit does not go away! It's hardwired into you. But that doesn't mean you aren't too focused on it. IMHO, you just need to start at ground zero and work on you for a bit. Best of luck to you either way bro.

 

[Sunriseticklee]

Hmmm... I don't know. Maybe instead of posting 43 posts like this, when you were lurking on all the forums, you should have been connecting. Posting positive messages and funny reactions to what others are posting.

I sympathize with you, but I don't see how a woman would find your sadness appealing. It's just sad and you may get a pat on the back, but not a date.

I think that even the most hideous of guys could find a date if they had personality and charm. Even the dumbest of guys seem to attract females if they have confidence and like one poster stated, good hygiene.

I don't think I am the hottest girl in the world, but when I started opening up, guys kinda started falling for me. It would have been very easy for me to stay in the shadows. I used to be pretty shy and quiet. Ultimately, some people found me fun to be around, and eventually, I had a couple of good loves in my life. Finally I had ONE GREAT love in my life. I do agree that I am very lucky in love and I am one of the minority, someone who found someone and married someone from TMF.

If you are tired of being alone, start connecting with people. Get involved. You keep saying you don't have any money, and you can't travel. How are you gonna pay for a date? There are plenty of girls in your area who would go out for a cup of coffee with you if you could make intelligent, meaningful, and fun conversation. But I don't know how many girls find it sexy to have to pick you up, cart you around, pay for everything and drop you back home.

DIVE IN... and I'm not talking about tickling. I'm talking about life. Stop living it in the shadows and in the background. Tell jokes, laugh, get a hobby, get off the computer and LIVE! Maybe getting off of TMF and FetLife is the best thing for you.

I hope I didn't come across harshly. I do wish you the best, but it takes a bunch of action on your part way beyond what you are doing.

 

[TJDoom]

Sunriseticklee is right on the money.

I've had rough events in my life. Rough childhood, son of two young addicts, born with mental quirks (heavy anxiety, panic, depression). It took me years to develop control of my introversion and demons. Thus, I spent too much time lurking on here and my regular life, but take it from me that things happen out of the blue. If you have good qualities, open up and truly give it a go, there are women that indulge without having a fetish themselves. I've had it happen to me completely outside the forum and I see it happen with others all the time. Not every time, of course. Some people have phobias. Some people aren't very understanding.

But those are all reasons why you put yourself "on blast", so to speak. Those compatible women floating about aren't getting the opportunity to surprise you because they need to know you exist. You really have to share yourself with all worlds and not one or the other. You have to have the guts to take setbacks in stride. Embrace failure. Learn about yourself through others.

Good luck.

 

[SoleMates]

What I have learned is that in order to find someone like this, they MUST have a fetish for it. The whole "converting-vanilla's theory" does not work at all. If you want to restrain/tie up a person and tickle them, they MUST have a fetish for it, ordinary friends will NEVER do something like that.

You're wrong.

I'll admit, I completely fail in understanding how one goes about bringing something like this up to a "vanilla" friend with success.

...and this is why.

That said...

I think that even the most hideous of guys could find a date if they had personality and charm. Even the dumbest of guys seem to attract females if they have confidence and like one poster stated, good hygiene.

...is also wrong. It implies the "just world" fallacy. Fact is, I know plenty of people of both genders, across the entire attractiveness spectrum, who are great people that can't find a date. Dates are not something you're awarded simply by virtue of being a good person, and assuming that just because some jackasses can pull damaged women means that any idiot can get laid if he just bathes once in a while is a really poisonous and insulting mindset on all sorts of levels.

 

[GQguy]

I agree with the OP 100%.

There's no convincing guys like that. How can one convince someone to make the appropriate steps to make their dream come true? You can't. Good for him. If he comes back wanting to learn how to turn his life around I'd be more than happy to oblige...going as far as befriending him. But with this attitude...go riddance.

 

[Sodahead]

Well I disagree with your premise of it being impossible to convert someone and my approach would be to meet a woman you like and enjoy dating, and then try to work tickling into the equation. What if you meet a person who is into tickling but makes you miserable in every other way? But I get it dude. I used to feel the same way about dating (I've never actively sought out lees.) I used to sit around and wonder why I had a hard time meeting people, and why it was impossible to get more than a second or third date. I blamed my social anxiety disorder and my general awkwardness. I used to sing "the nice guys blues" (I just made that up off the top of my head) complaining that girls only like jerks, etc. Eventually I quit feeling sorry for myself and accepted that maybe there was something about me that women rejected and maybe I should take the initiative to be more open and proactive in my pursuit. Sure enough, not long after I began opening up to girls I met, acting more confident, just being myself, etc. I began having success. In my experience, most women are very perceptive and can tell the difference between a guy who is hitting on them and who has a genuine interest. So your approach of hoping to meet someone and just begin a tickling situation is not exactly full proof. I mean, even if she does have a tickle fetish why would she just take a stranger home to tickle him?

I guess my point is yes, it sucks feeling lonely. Yes, it's hard to even meet someone you find interesting, much less who is into tickling or whatever fetish floats your boat. But it's not like you're the only person out there looking for companionship. Who knows, maybe there is some woman bar you who is wondering "geez, why can't I just meet a guy who wants to be tickled by me." But once you give up on yourself, you're screwed. If you give up on yourself, why should anyone else take a chance on you? Just try to learn about yourself and the type of people you are compatible with. One thing about women of our generation (I'm 23, I'm sure it's true of older women too, I've only dated people my age and a little older so it's the only reference point I have) is that they seem to be very open minded about sex and very accepting of people they are comfortable with. Just because your friend seemed turned off by it doesn't mean that if you date someone who is very comfortable with you that they wouldn't be willing to try it. Every woman I've ever been involved with has been understanding of my social anxiety situation, sexual preferences, etc. because I was straightforward about it. Trust me, generally speaking, the longer you are with a person the more willing they will be to try stuff.

 

[ISUmark]

After reading OPs post two things immediately jumped into my head. First, the fact that you've never been in a relationship before shows me that youre either a shut-in or socially awkward. If youre a shut-in its very difficult to find a partner. Surpringly its much easier now that we are in a "digital age." Going out to clubs and social settings is NOT my cup of tea. After fighting in Iraq for two different one year terms, public places with a lot of people make me nervous. Luckily with the internet its so damn easy to connect with someone. Hell Ive made good friends just by playing online MMOS(Aion, Rift, Tera etc.) The fact of the matter is that you have to find a relationship before you find a tickle partner. If you have absolutely zero social skills then it would be hard for a women to decide she wants to play with you. Finding a tickle partner is the same as finding a relationship or finding ANYTHING in life that you desire. You will be rewarded the more work you put into it. A tickle partner or a GF isn't going to fall in your lap while you sit at the computer doing nothing to improve your situation.
Life is short my friend. Think about that to help you get over some of your social fears. Im not saying go hit the bars and become a social butterfly, but put yourself out in public more. Are you the type that look people in the face when you walk by or the type that stares down at the ground? Im guessing the second one. Just getting over something as small as that will help you make the leaps and bounds you need to get yourself out there to find someone. Believe it or not there are women out there that are exactly like you are. But if you never leave the house then youll never find anyone. Do you have a job?? Become friends with coworkers. Im not saying go out and start stalking all the women coworkers you have...but if you befriend a guy or two at work, chances are they know a few girls who know a few girls etc etc. Most of my girlfriends I have met through a friend. Don't pay attention to what happens in movies or don't read any of the "pickup artists" literature because 90% of that is bullshit. Just be real, be yourself. It sounds like you are in a state of depression right now, but the truth of the matter is that I guarantee that you have one or two qualities in you that a woman would appreciate.
All of this doesn't happen overnight my friend. Converting a "vanilla" once you are in a relationship is fairly easy. All of the women Ive ever tickled in my entire life have been vanillas. The fact of the matter is that once you've made an emotional or lustful connection with someone, women will be much more open to your fetish because they want to make their man happy. You cant just jump into it right away, it takes time. Hang in there bud, PM me if you ever need to talk about any of this. I cant say that Ive been in your position before, but I consider myself fairly anti-social. Bars and clubs are the last place on earth that I want to be, but that does not mean you cant connect with people anywhere else in any other way.

 

[Stocks Quillman]

The only thing keeping you from your dreams is...YOU. Don't give up! I have met tons of girls willing to tickle or be tickled. Pay a model! They'll do it, no prob. Don't have the money you say? Get a part time job, you wimp! Woe is me...screw that. Suck it up, and go out there and stake your claim, man! I can't believe I read your whole depressing post. So here's some tough love!

 

[JazzBouchard]

Hey, life's like a monkey wrench. I tell you this, cause I have gone through tough times, and at the end, it always end up like it had to be. Life has its times, and maybe we are not there when we wish to be, but that doesn't mean this moments occur. I am sure your time will come someday. I know its not easy to share this taste, but there's always a piece to fit your puzzle. Just don't worry, enjoy your life and the things that make you happy (not just tickling) and so, you will spread your good vibes and eventually that special person will come next to you. 😉

 

[helplessandhappy]

I'm glad I joined this forum. A lot of you guys give good advice. I just hope the OP takes some of it and puts it to good use. As ISUmark said, life is short. Too short to sit there upset about not getting something you want. Whatever you want, whether it be a certain job, a house, to travel somewhere, to have a certain type of physical/sexual interaction... you have to go get it and KNOW that you deserve it. Otherwise, it will slip past you.

 

[Druidici]

I will nor judge you whatever decision you make. These folks have said it all and there's nothing more I can add. The heart wants what the heart wants. Good luck my friend but you don't have to leave.

 

[c7_assassin]

I don't know what '10 years of failure' could mean if you've never tried connecting with a woman in a romantic way. Unless you're honestly happy about being alone (and a few people are; hell, Isaac Newton died a virgin), I would try fixing that. No one has an edge on anyone else. Find someone who loves you, or at least tolerates you enough to pass some of this fragile, terrifying existence of ours in your company. Then play out all your perverted fantasies on each other.

That's what the rest of us do.

 

[Leo tickles]

I've only met one person with a tickling fetish... a female person I mean, in person. However, most if not all of my previous girl friends have let me tickle them and restrain them. It's all about how you sell it.

 

[stockytickler]

I spent years thinking I wasn't finding anyone who'd date me because I wasn't good enough or handsome enough or lucky enough or that I was just too shy. I'd got involved with community groups and took part in events and met all sorts of people, and I'd go home alone. I'd been pursuing a range of women, generally women I thought were a little insecure and who I thought might go for me, and went out a few times, but in most of my dating years, I was only hit on like twice -- once by a woman, once by a dude.

Flattering, but I wasn't really "out," even to myself, for years -- I knew I was attracted to some guys, but I didn't feel comfortable with that part of myself, so I dated women exclusively.

And rarely. And without much success.

One day I decided I'd spent 40 years mostly being sad and alone. And I wasn't having any luck meeting women, so I may as well explore this other side of myself.

I opened an online profile. But if meeting women seemed hopeless, meeting guys in my isolated, backwater state was going to be even harder, right? Well, within a couple months I met and started chatting with someone who was everything I was looking for in a mate, and it killed me we lived so far away.

As it turns out, I was everything he was looking for too. We chatted for weeks, online and on the phone. One week he drove 12 hours to meet me. We took each others' breath away. Within a few months we were living together. We've had so many adventures together and connected on so many levels. We tickle the crap outta each other. We couldn't be happier.

Thing is, I started a couple of online profiles at the same time -- one to meet men, one to meet women. The dude site paid off first. I like to think that I'd eventually have met someone either way -- if I'd only posted the m seeks f profile -- but the main thing is, I got really honest with myself about what I needed in my life, I dug in and I went for it.

And things could've gone in a thousand different ways, but as it is right now? I couldn't be happier with how everything turned out.

Best of luck to you, man.

 

[helplessandhappy]

I opened an online profile. But if meeting women seemed hopeless, meeting guys in my isolated, backwater state was going to be even harder, right? Well, within a couple months I met and started chatting with someone who was everything I was looking for in a mate, and it killed me we lived so far away.

As it turns out, I was everything he was looking for too. We chatted for weeks, online and on the phone. One week he drove 12 hours to meet me. We took each others' breath away. Within a few months we were living together. We've had so many adventures together and connected on so many levels. We tickle the crap outta each other. We couldn't be happier.

Aw. 🙂 That was a cute little story. Happy for you! <3

 

[Aimee]

For the record: I love tickling guys!

 

[porcelaindoll2]

For the record: I love tickling guys!

Me too! I just cotopped a cute young bi guy with my boyfriend tonight. He literally just left and I tickle guys solo as well. Are you under 40 and can make it to Philly? If your answer is yes by all means shoot me a message. Although I'll have to be honest and say I'm just looking for friends to play and maybe have sexual fun with.

 

[Bator]

Well, you're not going to accomplish anything by sitting on your butt and worrying about what might or might not happen. You need to stop being so negative and get out of the house and start socializing. A girl isn't going to drop out of the sky and land in your lap. You won't conquer the world in a day, but you could start to change your life by dropping that "Zero" from the beginning of your username and keeping the Lucky Guy part. You're advertising failure and that's a total turnoff to most girls. They might feel sorry for you but that's the best you're going to get until you gain some confidence in yourself. Hold your head up and get out there. It couldn't get any worse when it comes to your love life or lack thereof than it is right now, could it? What have you got to lose?

 

[knicks255]

It kind of sounds like it's your own defeatist attitude that's holding you back more than anything. I mean, you named yourself "ZeroLuckGuy" on the day you signed up for the forums! Just try not to kick yourself and go forward to meet people. You don't even have to talk about tickling stuff first, and you probably shouldn't. Just make friends with someone before you get into it.

 

[rhiannon]

I really don't think that tickling is your problem. It's your self-esteem. If you weren't running around with this big cloud of despair over your head, you would probably be dating, and if you were dating, the chances of getting the person into tickling you would probably not be that big of a problem. Work on your self-esteem and everything else should fall into place.

 

[ZeroLuckGuy]

To those who responded:

helplessandhappy

- No those were two different people.
What I would like is to mention the idea of tickling the shot out of someone to a friend and they be enthusiastic about it.
You mention two things could be the problem, hygiene and confidence. Well I shower everyday, so I doubt that is the problem. Confidence? Maybe. Being rejected and disappointed for so long has its effects.
And this did go away for a bit. I just stopped thinking about it. It was not worth the frustration.

Sunriseticklee

I am not walking around sad and gloomy all the time, but whenever I tried to go after this, I knew it was going to fail.
I'm not alone in the slightest way. I saw another topic before titled "Do you ever feel alone with your fetish" or something similar. That sums it up really.

SoleMates

I do not understand. I'll write more about what soon.

GQguy

Thanks.

NCten

Thanks. I am only and ever being myself. Why would I lie abouy any of this. It would only makes things worse.

ISUmark

Socially akward? Maybe. A shut in? No. Yes I have a job.

Stocks Quillman

Probably my only option at this point, if I had the money.
I mean, everyone has their price, right?

Druidici

I do. I don't think it is healthy to be part of this forum and discussing something that mostly likely will never get to experience. It's like a guy obsessed with child-birth. Can't happen, so don't obsess about it. Probably not the best example...but oh well.

Leo tickles

Exactly, but how the hell does one do that?

porcelaindoll2

It would be a little bit of a drive, thanks for the offer.

Bator

It's just the username I picked for this forum.

knicks255

Perhaps, that is what happens when you are constantly disappointed but I'm trying to avoid such disappointments in the future.

Now -
One thing I noticed about many of the responses here, are suggestions to start dating or find a girlfriend. And somehow that will fix my problem.

I do not understand this. To me that sounds like the only reason to get a girlfriend is so she can tickle me. I know none of you mean it that way, but me never having a tickling experience and me lacking in the dating scene are two completely different problems. I don't see how one issue can impact the other. And not just in this topic, but I see those two issues joined together frequently. Why?

Some of you might be asking why I am writing back. A couple weeks ago, out of sheer boredom, I brought this idea of tickling while tied up to the last friend I THOUGHT would be up for it. They were not.

There really is no other conclusion to be drawn that unless you have a bondage fetish or a tickling fetish, there is no possibility of a person being interested in this tied/tickling thing. This is meant in the sense of platnoic friends. Unless there is a handbook on what exact words to use and the order in which one says them in, someone not like us will never find this tickling thing interesting...

Don't give false hope where there is none.

 

[Elissa919]

My suggestion is to focus more on meeting girls in real life, instead of trying to connect with girls on here. I think you would have a much better chance to meet someone that way. I know, for me at least, it would be almost impossible to feel comfortable meeting someone from here. I think I would just be too nervous about it.

Also, I actually was "converted" a few months ago so it is not impossible! lol

I hope you're able to find someone 🙂

 

[DeaconMye]

I really hope it works out for you. There are some out there, I swear it, I wish I could help give you the information you need. Best of luck