Interracial Relationships Your Thoughts

[TinyTickler]

I Was In A Interracial Relationship For Almost Two Years And It Ended Because My Family Did Not Approve And I Was Not Ready To Get Married.

So Your Thoughts, Pros-cons, Likes-dislikes I Appreciate Your Responses

 

[Brock Samson]

I am Black, Irish, Puerto Rican, and Sioux (native american). I am the product of 2 to 3 generations of interracial relationships. I am definitely all for them. I don't see anything wrong with a two people of any race falling in love with each other. Perfectly natural, if you ask me.

 

[Bugman]

Seems to me that who someone falls in love with is nobody eles's business,assuming both people are of age.

 

[Artoo]

Who the hell are they to infringe on your love and happiness? Do what you need to do, love who you must.

Edit: That was quite an angry post, but to be honest, I can't see anything wrong with mixed race relationships. People who disagree with them on the grounds of race are bigots, more often than not.

 

[Brock Samson]

The Hat Trick!

The above comments, plus this one, equal the sport equivalent of a hat trick (look it up!). You are you. What you feel is natural. To love someone, no matter who they are or what race they are, is part of life. Don't let the simple minded ignorance of those too wrapped up in themselves and their small insignifigant little world deter you from true love. Don't settle. Go for the gold, baby!

 

[Tomskee]

There is no "pure" race of any kind anymore. We all have some mixture of different races in us. In high school, my mother said I better not bring a white girl home. After college, many of my white friends invited me to weddings, christenings, and other big occasions. My mother's objections cooled quite a bit after that. It's hard to dislike a bride when she convinces her groom to make me a groomsman; even though the groom and I don't know each other. Also I found my voice in college and became quick to tell mom mind her own business. Just find your own voice and live your life as you see fit.

 

[chicago]

I feel at this point in time, everyone, especially in America, comes from so many different ethnicities that to not date someone because of such a small factor as skin color is so stupid.

I've been in one interracial relationship, have had friends of every color, and consider myself an equal opportunist employer.

 

[Limeoutsider]

If you're happy with it, thats great and really not my place to judge

but I'm rare, I'll admit

 

[TinyTickler]

those are all really good responses keep them coming i agree with everyone of them

 

[brianspencer66]

When I was a kid there was a tv special with I think it was Julie Andrews. She did a duet with singer Harry belafonte. At the end of the song they had their arms around each other and hugged and kissed like normal people would. The very next week I remember the shit loads of angry mail TV guide recieved from white viewers that were extremely offended by this public display of affection. Needless to say I was in shock of some of the uglyness in many of those letters. I was all of about 12 years old. Times have changed an awful lot and people really arent that shocked anymore. But I still think there is a stigma to inter racial relationships in particular black males and white females. But for the most part no ones life is no longer in danger just a nasty stare or 2.

 

[tcklft]

I still think there is a stigma to inter racial relationships in particular black males and white females. But for the most part no ones life is no longer in danger just a nasty stare or 2.

Yeah, that shit still goes on, sad to say. If you can ignore or tolerate it, I say follow your heart. You only live once, after all.

 

[venray]

I usually respond to such questions thusly...

We are all one race...the human race..we live we love...nothing else matters...

People who care for each other should be together...

 

[CrystalLight]

I have been in an Interracial relationship once. It didn't work out for reasons not regarding the difference.


Basically..

You Love who ya Love.

 

[P[a]pi]

I'm fine with them. I guess I should be since I'm in one haha. I'm white and my girlfriend is black.

Some extra stuff comes with them, but if the two people truely love each other, then they should be able to deal with it.

And I'm sorry that your family didn't approve of whatever race she was. Maybe you two can get back together later down the road.

 

[drew70]

In the mid seventies my sister married a black man. At the time it was rather unusual but not unheard of. I remember my grandparents were less than excited by the idea, but other than voice some mild reservations, they made no attempts to disuade her from going through with it. I remember my sister coming to me privately and asked me to "be honest" and tell her if I had any problems with her marrying a black man. I was in high school at the time and told her quite honestly that I was far more concerned with character than color. I knew even then he was a good man and gave her my support. For the last 30+ years he's been a faithful husband and a good father, and they are still together today. I think one reason they've lasted so long is that neither of them take race that seriously. Neither of them are proud nor ashamed of their own or the other's race. It's just not a big deal to them.

For me, that's the keystone for my own philosophy regarding race. To be neither proud nor ashamed of the different races (including my own), but to regard race as little more than genetic cosmetics.

 

[terorizer]

I think sometimes it takes taking an uncomfortable stance among our friends and families. On the one hand I was raised to believe in equality and that racial differences were to be embraced, because we're "all the same". So is it any wonder when those reared this way bring home someone of another color?

It can be a VERY explosive situation, but I believe more often than not, our colors are really just illusions. The opposition usually comes from a place of love (however ignorant the opposition may be!), and one thing about it, love recognizes love. Sometimes it just takes a little while.

 

[Artoo]

Things might be a little different over here - I've actually never gone out with a girl of the same skin colour as me. I think that's partly because of the way I was brought up, and partly because I didn't (still don't) have that many Asian friends.

Though I know the older generation (grandmothers etc) would sometimes be a bit wary of their daughter going out with a "coloured" gentleman, most people (at least once they've talked to me) have no problems.

Like I say, this is in the UK, and nowadays people have less problems with different races as it seems they do in the US. I might be wrong, but that's how it looks.

 

[minerva]

Race is not even an issue for me. If I like/love a person I couldn't care less what colour they are. Cultural differences might be a challenge sometime, but if both want it to work, then it will and what could be more interesting then to learn from each other and widen your horizon.
Also, no way in hell would I ever end a relationship I'm happy in, just because my family doesn't approve. Thank God, I'm 100% sure, that I'd never have an issue like that with my family, but if they'd ask me to end a happy relationship just because of my partner's different race, I'd definitely rather break with them - no doubt.

 

[Sleepy Jean]

I have never been in a mixed-race relationship. I dated a few black guys in college, but only once because they always seemed to be putting on some sort of "cool" persona, and seemed to assume that I was only dating them because I had come down with a case of jungle fever. You should've seen their jaws drop when I declined to sleep with them after one date.

My husband was in one before he met me. His GF was (according to him) beautiful, intelligent and funny, and a socialist with left-wing opinions that would make me look like Maniactickler. They broke up because she transfered from their American college to a university in Canada. No doubt, he says, she was taking the first step to becoming a Canadian citizen.

But she had an interesting theory about interracial couples. Why are there so many more black men-white women than the other way around? Because it's a status symbol for so many black men to have white women on their arms. The taboo, the old "those boys can't keep their hands off our women" crap gives black men the attitude that they're spitting in the eye of white racism.

There is no status for a white man to have a black woman with him. She said if a white man wants to climb the ladder in a white-collar career he better be self-employed or he better not have a woman of color (maybe Oriental is OK) as his partner. There's nothing "in your face" about a white man-black woman partnership, making the pairing far less desirable for the career-oriented white man.

My feeling is that all relationships have to be examined strictly on their own. If a couple is in love, then it's all good no matter what race each one is. If a couple is together for any reasons other than love, I see nothing but trouble ahead. Love is all that matters. My future inlaws did not understand what he saw in a girl who never wore shoes. We've been married 25 years. I still hate wearing shoes.

Love,
Jean

 

[TonyInMyThroat]

make me look like Maniactickler.

I don't believe anyone wants to put that image in their head.

 

[jj82277]

It's math and science

Nature likes diversity. there are people who prefer people who look different, the same, whatever. it shouldn't matter beyond what attracts you to a person from a physical standpoint to facilitate a romantic relationship. every attempt to fully segregate has and should have failed.

i think that hall is on the button. in america we are all so far removed fromany other meaningful cultrue that it makes very little sense to segregate reproductively.

personally i thinkt hat the next phase of the civil rights movement is a voluntary cultural desegregation of biblical proportions until we don't even have to ask this question aymore.

 

[dskodj]

nothing wrong with it at all...if theres love, theres love and aint no one who can stop it. color is just color..nothing more.

 

[WorkInProgress]

I think we need to refocus the question. Given that race is an artificial construction to begin with, and that the word for persons who buy into such construction is "racists," to me, the question is not whether interracial relationships are good or bad, but rather, whether the people who would give others a hard time about intimacy between two people of different skin complexions are good or bad, and the answer is that they're bad. They're the most destructive element in society, and they deserve to be known as such.

Now, that doesn't in any negate the fact that when two people from differing cultures get together, they will face challenges, but culture is a very fluid concept. I'm an American white, and yet there's a huge cultural gap between me and the majority of other American whites. If I were to get together with a black woman, her blackness and my whiteness might pose an enormous gap or no gap at all, depending on the specifics of background and orientation. Where there are cultural differences, there's an extra layer of challenge to work through in a venture that's going to have challenges regardless, so people entering into relationships need to be realistic about just what compatibility they have, and if it's not there it's not there.

What's more, if you prefer to date persons of the same cultural and continental heritage as yourself, I won't put any nasty labels on you. I consider your tastes in intimate partner to be your business, not subject to approval or disapproval by anybody else. But if I were ever dating a black woman and had a white person say to me "Hey look, don't you think we should stick to our own kind," I'd reply, "Okay, I will stick to my own kind, so get away from me because you're not my own kind, and don't you ever refer to me with the word 'we' again."

 

[brianspencer66]

I have never been in a mixed-race relationship. I dated a few black guys in college, but only once because they always seemed to be putting on some sort of "cool" persona, and seemed to assume that I was only dating them because I had come down with a case of jungle fever. You should've seen their jaws drop when I declined to sleep with them after one date.

My husband was in one before he met me. His GF was (according to him) beautiful, intelligent and funny, and a socialist with left-wing opinions that would make me look like Maniactickler. They broke up because she transfered from their American college to a university in Canada. No doubt, he says, she was taking the first step to becoming a Canadian citizen.

But she had an interesting theory about interracial couples. Why are there so many more black men-white women than the other way around? Because it's a status symbol for so many black men to have white women on their arms. The taboo, the old "those boys can't keep their hands off our women" crap gives black men the attitude that they're spitting in the eye of white racism.

There is no status for a white man to have a black woman with him. She said if a white man wants to climb the ladder in a white-collar career he better be self-employed or he better not have a woman of color (maybe Oriental is OK) as his partner. There's nothing "in your face" about a white man-black woman partnership, making the pairing far less desirable for the career-oriented white man.

My feeling is that all relationships have to be examined strictly on their own. If a couple is in love, then it's all good no matter what race each one is. If a couple is together for any reasons other than love, I see nothing but trouble ahead. Love is all that matters. My future inlaws did not understand what he saw in a girl who never wore shoes. We've been married 25 years. I still hate wearing shoes.

Love,
Jean

I think some of what you said really hit the nail on the head. But the whole status symbol thing is not just with black men. how many times have you heard the word "trophy wife" in the media when whites talk of marriage. And many ethnic whites such as Jews and Italians will try to so call "marry up" and hook up with a Wasp female from a so called all american backround. I really think its a self worth issue in a country that every single day honors blond hair and blue eyes and if you not up to that standard well then your not really in the picture. But it seems you really did your homework and your post was most honest.

 

[DimpleToes]

if you love the person.. who cares what color the skin is.. are you gonna hate me for I am white... pleaseeeeeee.. I have many friends of all colors and I love them all.. color of one's skion does not make the person.. its what is inside..