Is extra-marital tickling "cheating"?

[drew70]

If you discovered your spouse being tickled regularly by a member of the opposite sex, would this constitute a marital violation in your eyes? I'm talking no sex, nudity or romance. Just tickling non-private areas of the body. Do you suppose a judge would consider this grounds for divorce?

 

[TummyDragon]

Without opening a pulpit for the "tickling with anyone outside your marriage is cheating" group (which I believe is neither right nor wrong, btw, it's just an opinion and worthless to anyone other than the individual), I think the biggest problem would present itself in that no one would believe that it was "just tickling", even if it truly were. I don't think tickling itself would be grounds; I just truly believe the salacious implication would be impossible to negate, unless the judge was one of us.

If you discovered your spouse being tickled regularly by a member of the opposite sex, would this constitute a marital violation in your eyes? I'm talking no sex, nudity or romance. Just tickling non-private areas of the body. Do you suppose a judge would consider this grounds for divorce?

 

[ticklemetemera]

no sex or nudity and no tickling in private areas i dont think i would consider that cheating, because my bf and i are always looking for couples to meet up with that is into tickling so that we can tickle each other but no sex in my opion i wouldnt consider that cheating

 

[ticklingfeet4fu]

Very interesting question. The answer is no. But why no? If it involves no touching, no sex, just pure tickling the answer is no. The question of the non-tickling spouse is how and why? How is there no sex when you know that tickling turns them on? Why go somewhere to be tickled is a very different question that even I don't know how to answer.
😕

 

[mrhm53755]

Would you be happy if you walked in and found your significant other tied up and being tickled? She had all her clothes on and there wasn't sex going on so what's the problem right. I think 99% of the population would consider this to be cheating as do I.

 

[TklDuo-Ann]

If those involved are capable of seperating tickling from sexuality, I see no problem with it. The problem is more likely to be between the couple and whether or not they actually communicate and have trust. One partner tickling someone else without the other's knowledge would likely be more easily questioned since it looks like you're hiding something. As TD said...the judge isn't likely to understand unless he's one of us. We're so damned brainwashed these days to think that everyone's going to cheat on everyone else and that divorce court is the way to go the second there's the slightest problem that I can easily see a judge siding with the offended partner.

As for whether or not I personally would have a problem with it... Anyone who knows Drew and I knows the answer. We both enjoy play on a purely playful and platonic level with others. If we know that someone is into it purely for sexual reasons and is unable to do so on a platonic level, we simply don't play with those individuals. So far, all our play with others has been with the other present...or at least nearby. But, I'd have no problem with Drew connecting with someone else for a little innocent fun. I doubt he'd have a problem with me doing the same. Why? We actually trust one another and are secure in our relationship.

How is there no sex when you know that tickling turns them on?

The catch here is that not EVERYONE is turned on by it....and those who are may only be so with their partner. If they're ALWAYS turned on by it, I'd agree. But, most of those Drew and I have played with can easily seperate the two.

Ann

 

[drew70]

Would you be happy if you walked in and found your significant other tied up and being tickled? She had all her clothes on and there wasn't sex going on so what's the problem right. I think 99% of the population would consider this to be cheating as do I.

If I walked in on such a scene with my wife, I'd fall on my knees and thank the Good Lord above. I'd grab the terrified man's hand and pump a hand shake like that of a used car salesman. I'd by him a beer, hell a whole case.

Why? Well, don't you see? It would mean she has finally gotten on board with the tickling scene at last. No longer would I have to go to the gatherings alone. We could take trips to other more remote gatherings. I could go on but you get the idea. The last thing I would be worrying about is cheating.

 

[BellaRisa]

Would you be happy if you walked in and found your significant other tied up and being tickled? She had all her clothes on and there wasn't sex going on so what's the problem right. I think 99% of the population would consider this to be cheating as do I.

First, let me say that not only would I not consider it cheating, I'd make a bowl of popcorn and pull up a chair for awhile before joining in myself

I need to ask another question, and forgive me if this seems like thread-hijacking; I think it's pretty relevant.

Suppose you DO find out that your spouse has been indulging in tickling play with others. Um, so? Can you honestly tell me that a good and loving life-partner, who's an amazing parent to your babies and helps you pay bills and cooks and cleans and plans your dreams with you and makes you feel like a King or Queen, should be harrassed and made to suffer or even divorced over some tickling?? The very notion of this blows my mind .

Yeah, I know, the whole 'trust' issue. Let me tell ya after 12 yrs of marriage: to me, trust and commitment are about him getting up at 2am every night and bringing me the baby to nurse. Or going to pharmacy at 3am for more baby Tylenol when he has to be up at 4:30am for work. Or driving in the pouring rain to come get me when I lock my keys out of the car. And working a bazillion hours overtime to make sure we have the mortgage downpayment and still coming home with a smile and a hug. And so many, many other things a good partner does for you, like being by your side to get through whatever hell life throws your way together. That's marriage to me.

Next to all of that, some extra tickling is so low on the radar it's barely a blip. Maybe my priorities are skewed, I dunno...

Bella

 

[kcantankerous]

Would you be happy if you walked in and found your significant other tied up and being tickled? She had all her clothes on and there wasn't sex going on so what's the problem right. I think 99% of the population would consider this to be cheating as do I.

If I saw this going on I'd kick the guy's ass and consider divorcing my wife especially if this was clandestine. If it's a girl doing the tickling than I'd question that too, and may not consider devorce but there would be major verbal fight going on. Especially if I knew the girl was a lesbian. I treat lesbians as I do regular guys at least when it comes to things like that. Although I wouldn't fight one cause she is still a woman

 

[TCarlCMI]

Bella

Bella is a GENIOUS. She's hit the nail right on the head. BRAVO BELLA

 

[BellaRisa]

Re: Bella

Bella is a GENIOUS.

Heh, hardly sweetie. I'm just a woman in love with a good man. Two, actually, but that's another thread 😉.

Bella

 

[steph]

Not in my eyes. I figure everyone who's attached who'd ever paid for a professional massage, pedicure, etc. agreed with this, there'd be a lot more divorcing going on than their is already, yes? 😉

XOXO

If you discovered your spouse being tickled regularly by a member of the opposite sex, would this constitute a marital violation in your eyes? I'm talking no sex, nudity or romance. Just tickling non-private areas of the body. Do you suppose a judge would consider this grounds for divorce?

 

[cecilia]

If those involved are capable of seperating tickling from sexuality, I see no problem with it. The problem is more likely to be between the couple and whether or not they actually communicate and have trust. One partner tickling someone else without the other's knowledge would likely be more easily questioned since it looks like you're hiding something. As TD said...the judge isn't likely to understand unless he's one of us. We're so damned brainwashed these days to think that everyone's going to cheat on everyone else and that divorce court is the way to go the second there's the slightest problem that I can easily see a judge siding with the offended partner.

As for whether or not I personally would have a problem with it... Anyone who knows Drew and I knows the answer. We both enjoy play on a purely playful and platonic level with others. If we know that someone is into it purely for sexual reasons and is unable to do so on a platonic level, we simply don't play with those individuals. So far, all our play with others has been with the other present...or at least nearby. But, I'd have no problem with Drew connecting with someone else for a little innocent fun. I doubt he'd have a problem with me doing the same. Why? We actually trust one another and are secure in our relationship.



The catch here is that not EVERYONE is turned on by it....and those who are may only be so with their partner. If they're ALWAYS turned on by it, I'd agree. But, most of those Drew and I have played with can easily seperate the two.

I think the question of whether extra-marital tickling is cheating really depends on whether there's deception involved, not on whether it's sexual. You wouldn't mind if your husband tickled someone else, but you already have an understanding that you can do that. Would you feel differently if you discovered that he was engaging in another very physical but non-sexual fetish type activity with other people, and he had never told you about that part of his life? I wouldn't be comfortable concealing something like that from a partner...and I wouldn't play with anyone at a gathering if his partner didn't know he went to gatherings.

Ann