Is extramarital tickling cheating?

[Stevereeno]

(Personal comments edited out - Jeff)

We're talking about marriage here. Not just being in a relationship.

Isabeau, I don't think you understand what I meant. If you are married and you need to seek out other opposite sex members for attention and affection, chances are there is a problem somewhere in the marriage. That doesn't mean you will cheat; however, it increases the odds of cheating.

 

[aun_existe_amor]

I think that having to involve others outside of your relationship to meet any needs that are not met by your husband/wife is cheating. I realise that there are many others who don't agree with me but this is my opinion. That includes tickling, any sexual contact, even down to going to watch a film or play with someone else that your partner doesn't know about or approve of. If you have keep it a secret then it's definitely cheating. If your wife doesn't care that you're getting something from another woman that she doesn't give you, why doesn't she care? Is there something that she is getting from another man that you don't give her? Surely you knew before you were married that your wife/husband didn't have the same sexual interests as you. People change over the years and people do grow apart, that's just part of life, but, isn't the whole idea of marriage about growing and changing together? It is natural to develop different interests and have seperate hobbies. No one can be together or do everything together 24 hours a day but you have to have lots in common to be able to make the relationship work. Sex is a massive part of any relationship and I would guess that for most people here tickling is part of a sexual relationship. Are you and your wife more like best friends now than sexual partners? Is this the reason for feeling the need to look outside your relationship for another woman to meet the needs that your wife isn't meeting?

 

[some1somewhere]

To put it very simply, is tickling someone else besides your spouse cheating?

Yes

Umm, no.

Well, yeah.

Hmm, I guess not.

sure.

Nah...

I guess it is a little more complex, isn't it? 😉

 

[jj82277]

simplicity

In my personal oppinion there is a different case to be made for most instances. there is i think that we would all agree a difference between a casual ppoke at the water cooler, and a full blown tickle torture session with orgasm torture to follow.

I think first you have to say what is cheating. for a couple that believes in swinging they may not consider it cheating, for a more spiritual couple they most certainly would. As one who actually does believe in universal truths i would say that in the case of actually seeking out the company of someone outside your marriage for the purpose of engaging in an act specifically for some form of gratification that you are not getting at home would be the definition of cheating. I think that definition would extend even to emotional counsel that a wife can't get from her husband that she religates solely to her close group of friends. I am not saying that you shouldnt have close friends or that this is a female problem i am just using this one example. The reason being is that a crack like that in the foundation of a relationship over time will become as large as the grand canyon. If you don't coach the person you are with to meet your basic needs over time you will eventually stop making the concious decisions over and over gin to stay with them during the hard times.

The overwhelming retort would be that the partner is completely unwilling to comply with a request that you have amde in this reguard. I offer two responses.

1.)first to the lees outthere that suffer in silence, how much does someone really love you if they can't at least put forth a token effort to tickle you on a regular basis. that's just basics in a relationship. i personally think that in a healthy relationship a lee should at least get a token effort from a spouse if you genuinly and openly express to them that it is vital to your survival, and so vital that if you dont have it that you would be would be tempted to look outside the relationship. for lers it is a little harder because for people outisde the community actur\ally subjecting themselves to tickle torture in most peoples oppinions would be worse than death., i remember as a young boy that i liked to play truth or dare, and on truths try to make girls say that they actually perfered tickling to something else because an admission like that would excite me, you should hear some of the reponeses that i got. most would perfer to be tied up whipped and stuck with hot pokeers than 2 be tickled and that jsut plain sucks, that i think you just have to gut out.

2.)Choose wisely. I love the movie in good company. It hink that it offered the single greatest idea for marital success that i have ever heard outside scriptural text, "just pick the right one to be in the fox hole with and when you are outside of the foxhole keep your dick in your pants" i said that to say taht to all the young single people out there, just take this debate as a lesson that marrying someone with similar sexual tastes is extremely vital. there are just as many tickle crazed lers as there are lees, and all desperately want the safety to carry out ther lovingly depraved fantasies in the romantic confines of marital bliss.

 

[DonnieBrasco]

extramarital---does not apply in this instance

The word extramarital is the act of sex between a married person and someone other than their spouse. So I would say no it is not.BUT I think you would cross that line according to the person whose opinions should matter the most,your spouse. I mean what would you think if your spouse loved spanking and you didnt,so they went outside the marriage to find their experience with someone who does.How wou;d you feel?

Thats my two 1/2 cents worth

Thank you
Donnie B-the original

 

[Mitchell]

Here's my 2 cents, for whatever it's worth.

As we all know, in life, there can be very broad discretion, and definition for many words. I think that meeting another person for tickling, when one is already married, or in a committed relationship, is in my opinion, not right. It might not technically be "cheating", if you arent having sex with the person you are tickling, but think of it, if you need to tickle another person, because your significant other isnt into it, then technically, it is cheating. If I had a wife into tickling, and I hated to be tickled, I dont think I'd be very happy if she wanted to meet someone else for tickling, either if I knew about it, or behind my back.
That being said, again, things have a very broad definition. Some people could consider the mere act of coming to the TMF cheating, if their significant other isnt into tickling. Technically, they have a fetish, and if they come here to discuss their fetish, unless their partner is okay with such, it might be considered extramarital activities. I hope to marry someone into tickling, but if I dont, and I stay with TMF, I think I might try to be honest with her, and tell her that coming here, and if nothing else, discussing tickling with those who have similar interests, helps me to deal with my fetish or interest. I would hope she would be okay with that, but, if it really was a problem with her, and I loved her, I probably would leave TMF. This certainly isnt a real life circumstance for me now, but if it ever did become one, I probably would.
This question is very difficult to answer, because of the very wide definition of what "cheating", or "extramarital" is. However, my post is how I see this issue.

Mitch

 

[kis123]

being married doesnt make you dead. everyone wants affection and/or attention from the opposite sex, doesnt mean you are going to cheat on your husband. and this from someone who has been married for 27 years. i still enjoy attention from the opposite sex, thats normal. what are you supposed to do after marriage, walk around with your head lowered or better yet wear a sack over your head?

isabeau

No-but you are supposed to remember the vows you took and live by them. I'm not trying to be harsh, but the fact remains that if you married, then you took vows. If you (you being totally hypothetical) no longer mean them, then it's time to separate.

Many of the responses on this topic are examples of "wanting your cake and eating it too" (or however that goes).

When I was married, I wasn't in tune with my tickling passions. I had buried them deep. But if I was still with him, I would come clean and deal with the outcome just like you have been going through. My heart goes out to you but I respect you for remaining within your vows and the committment to your marriage. Sometimes people just can't have it both ways unless the spouse compromises (not a bad idea if you can do the same) or you are in an open marriage where there are (or not) rules.

 

[kis123]

Anyone that thinks thats cheating is just prudish and uptight.

You might think it's prudish and uptight, but if you're married, you're married period.

Maybe people should deal with these issues BEFORE they get married. Maybe some are like me and didn't become aware of their love of tickling until after they got married, I can't say on either circumstance.

But if your "passion" or "fetish" is taking time away from your spouse, maybe you should reevaluate how you spend your time, or separate. I can't say this enough-YOU CAN'T HAVE IT BOTH WAYS!!

How many of you would feel so liberal about their marital relationship if it were in reverse and your spouse is the one with the issue? I wonder how many would be so quick to say it's okay?

 

[kered]

kis123 beat me to that thought. What would the reaction be if the feather were on the other foot?

 

[isabeau]

i didnt say cheating i said o forget it. i have such a hard time trying to communicate what i am feeling. of course i dont mean cheating. but being married doesnt being dead. and i didnt say what kind of attention or affection i wanted or needed from the opposite sex. it could be in a brotherly type of way, since i never had a brother, it could be in a friendly type of way, since i do have friends who are male. I WILL NEVER CHEAT IF I HAVENT CHEATED BY NOW LET ME STATE AGAIN I HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR TWENTY SEVEN YEARS.

isabeau

 

[kis123]

i didnt say cheating i said o forget it. i have such a hard time trying to communicate what i am feeling. of course i dont mean cheating. but being married doesnt being dead. and i didnt say what kind of attention or affection i wanted or needed from the opposite sex. it could be in a brotherly type of way, since i never had a brother, it could be in a friendly type of way, since i do have friends who are male. I WILL NEVER CHEAT IF I HAVENT CHEATED BY NOW LET ME STATE AGAIN I HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR TWENTY SEVEN YEARS.

isabeau

No one has accused you of cheating. Anyone who reads your posts should know that you're faithful. Hell, more should be like you!

There's nothing wrong with wanting to appeal to the opposite sex or finding other men attractive to you-that's completely normal. Thinking and feeling are one thing, acting on those thoughts and feelings are completely different.

 

[isabeau]

No one has accused you of cheating. Anyone who reads your posts should know that you're faithful. Hell, more should be like you!

There's nothing wrong with wanting to appeal to the opposite sex or finding other men attractive to you-that's completely normal. Thinking and feeling are one thing, acting on those thoughts and feelings are completely different.

yes thats what i meant. kis, thank you, sometimes i have trouble expressing my thoughts, they race ahead of my fingers lol.... glad you understand.🙂

isabeau

 

[tickleublue]

Tickling re Cheating

No it is not cheating. Alternate answer.." it Depends on what your definition of is... er... I mean ...Cheating is" Hey my wife calls me a "freak" because of my tickle as well as other fetish tastes. This has me LOOKING for tickle minded people to play with.

 

[tkl-pen]

I don't believe that's cheating in any way. My wife would much rather that I tickle other women instead of her. She knows that I love to tickle and live to tickle. She has no problem with that.

 

[McNoodle]

In my opinion the mind is the first thing to stray. Often when I am on here I am struck by the syndrome known as grass is greener. I love my wife dearly and am happy with her. The fact she is not ticklish probably helps drive me to this site more often than I should but I know enough not to take it any further than reading posts and watching videos. I would be crushed if she were to go out meeting other people to fulfill a desire of hers that she did not even try to share with me. I think I have the best of both worlds because I have a wonderful woman and with a site like this, that while it does not totally curb my craving for tickling, I can be content living vicariously through it for that portion of my life. The act of going through with meeting someone for tickling may not exactly be cheating but in my particular case it would cause more harm than good.

 

[Knox The Hatter]

Look, if you have to hide this behavior, then there's a problem. Odds are, if you do hide it, and the spouse finds out, there's gonna be trouble.

If you communicate with your spouse, and the spouse understands, and if it's promulgated that what you're doing is just tickling and having fun, with that other person, and the spouse is fine with it, then where's the problem? The only problem I see is coming from people on here who have never been in a real relationship with anyone, telling you how you should conduct YOUR relationship.

You wanna have fun, and the spouse ain't ticklish? Well, you got your work cut out. However, "oh what a tangled web we weave..."

 

[wendynpeter]

I loved tickling since I took my first breath; it’s a part of my body and soul, but my wife not into tickling. Not, like I am I like to tickle other people and she just want to keep it in house.

So, not she made at me because I spend all my time on the Tickling Forums downloading clips, looking at pictures and reading stories. She said that I was cheating on her because I spend my time on the internet.

She spends her time looking at LIFE TV among other MALE BASHING things.

SOOOOOOO!!!!, is looking at tickling clips, pictures or chatting with other people with the same love of tickling cheating?

There's physical cheating and there's emotional cheating. Whether you are cheating depends upon whether the material you're downloading is causing you to withdraw emotionally or physically from your wife.

That said, if you are spending "all your time" fantasizing about other women, that's not a good sign. Life TV is hardly male-bashing, but what do you expect her to do with her time if you're spending all of yours downloading porn? My suggestion is to take a break from porn for a few weeks and spend time with your wife. Ask yourself if you really love her, or whether having her around is just a convenience to you. Then DO something about whichever decision you come to.

 

[TickledToDeath]

If it is done on the sly.......without the knowledge and or approval of the husband/wife/significant other, then it is cheating and wrong.
IF the green light is given, knoledge and approval clear and present, I fail to see anything wrong.
Key is totaly approval and knowledge and then it is up to the players to KNOW what to and not to do and make DAMN sure no lines are crossed and ALL is clear and understanding.
__________________

 

[witchtickler]

NOPE, I do not see it as cheating. If I did I wouldn't be here. BUT....it can go to far so be careful.

witchtickler

 

[SlaverTickler]

Anything sextual (sp)

In my opinion sort of sexual stuff (shy of jerking off) is pretty much cheating. I exclude wanking one out because some times a guys just gotta releive stress.

 

[Stitch62679]

Extramarital tickling has to be cheating in my opinion (and the opinion of anyone I ever dated!!! LOL). Granted, it's not sex (far from it) but you are touching another person of the oppositte sex, which at the very least could be considered flirtacious, and even if tickling isn't a turn on, it's still something you're very interested in if you're on this forum, sooooo it's hard to say it's just something you'd do to anyone.
There's a lot that can happen that doesn't include sex that's cheating, and my wife (who thinks this all is an illness) would kick my ass if I tickled anyone!!!!!!