Is it worth giving up?

[Soles_Scream]

I am not one for dating apps but I did try Feeld since it is kink focused. I wrote in the profile that I don’t post a picture because of my job but would share it once there was a match. 100% of the time the conversation ended when I shared a pic.

Thankfully I don’t do regular dating apps. A profile with my pic would have no matches. Ah, well. What can you do?

Haptic, I think you are getting in your own way, my friend. Speaking from my own experience of getting in my own way.

 

[2Ticklish!]

Stream of thought post. If it's depressing, sorry.

So, I've been into tickling since the early 2000s. That's when I discovered this forum.

As a guy, each year, it seems like less opportunities present themselves to explore "tickling". Many people don't get it. They don't want to get it, and that's fine with me, because "hey, why live a lie?".

Tickling has always been in my personal order of operations in terms of finding a partner. If they can't handle that, then I feel like there's multiple other areas we won't match on.

Everyone talks wistfully about the "joys of being ourselves", but the closer I look for more qualities in people, the less I find.

Have you ever just walked away from this life? Just gave up on tickling? On trying to date? Just be incognito?

For me, it’s always been work on myself and be happy with myself first. When you enter a new relationship, let it be authentic. See if the attributes that you hope to be in your partner blossom, and then go from there. Try entering into these relationships without expectations because we should try to see people as they are. If you are in a healthy relationship and your partner loves and cares about you, it’s very possible for tickling to enter in at the right time and spice things up!

I love to tickle (and tickle feet). My wife does not have ticklish feet, but it was her idea to buy stocks because she enjoys tickling me, that was over a year into our relationship. My “ideal dynamic” changed significantly from what my original hopes were for us. Now, we have been together for 7 years and have a great life together, and tickling entered into it unexpectedly!

Idk if that helps but I hope it does, friend!

 

[GigglyGothGrrl]

I know this pain all too well, and have grappled with the existential dread of this question for a large portion of my life. Being transgender and bisexual, dating and meeting people for intimacy is always a painful experience.

I've never known the gentle touch of a man, many woman I've been with have always put me in the role of being "the man" and left when I couldn't live up to their expectations or asked to switch roles. I've been mocked for laughing like a girl when I get tickled, and met with anger when I seek to be the receptive partner during intercourse. Many times I've asked myself why I should continue. What's the point in seeking when I know I won't find what I'm looking for? What I need to fill whole?

This path leads to a dark place. One where, if you're not careful, it will consume you and snuff out any light in your life. I only know because that's where it lead me, and I stayed for far longer than I should have. At my lowest, I questioned whether I could feel anything at all, let alone feeling ticklish again.

It only changed when my outlook changed. I couldn't change the circumstances, but I could change my mind about them. I realized that all of my hopes and expectations were building a prison that I carried with me everywhere I went. With every desire came a disappointment, and every disappointment was another brick I was adding to the wall shutting me out of the world. I stopped expecting my desired outcome, and with that I gave up pursuing my desires. It hurt my heart, and it stills hurts but the hurt guided me back towards feeling again.

I'm still navigating what it's like to feel and experience life again. I'm sorry if I got depressing during my post, but I wanted to share with you how I got to be who I am and where I'm at. You ask if it's worth giving up, and my experience has showed me that the answer is complicated and difficult.

Only by giving up your expectations and desires, will you be able to feel the joy you once felt that tickling brought you.

You gotta make room for it, and hold space for what brings you joy. You may never get what you desire, but that doesn't mean what you already have won't make you happy. Ultimately, I believe the expectations are worth giving up, but the joy is worth fighting and living for.

 

[GigglyGothGrrl]

Sorry, I need to make a small correction with my previous post. I wrote "tickling" when I meant to write "intimacy".

"Only by giving up your expectations and desires, will you be able to feel the joy that intimacy brought you. "

I realize that the OP was talking about more than just tickling